Masturbation when room sharing

Gael23 · 18-09-2018 10:24pm #1

Particularly for the males in the audience.

When you are sharing a room with others for a period of time, how do you satisfy your needs?

Jim Bob Scratcher · 18-09-2018 10:24pm

Use the bathroom?

lawred2 · 18-09-2018 10:26pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Particularly for the males in the audience.

When you are sharing a room with others for a period of time, how do you satisfy your needs?

Urm the bathroom obviously

Pero_Bueno · 18-09-2018 10:27pm

Or wait till they are fast asleep ... no harm done - so long as you clean up ..

c montgomery · 18-09-2018 10:27pm

Use the bathroom and Cum in his bottle of shower gel.
Your not some sort of animal.

dxhound2005 · 18-09-2018 10:27pm

There's somebody in there.

thelad95 · 18-09-2018 10:27pm

Do it simultaneously.

endacl · 18-09-2018 10:29pm

OK. G'night everybody.

:rolleyes:

18-09-2018 10:30pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Particularly for the males in the audience.

When you are sharing a room with others for a period of time, how do you satisfy your needs?

quietly

Day Lewin · 18-09-2018 10:30pm

Why just the males?
I have fond memories of very very silent fantasies when sharing a room with my sister.

All mental - just vividly imagined, like movies - until the last possible moment, then the pressed fingertip release.
Ah, youth!

so yes, it's possible.

Or can it be that the male members demand a high level of gasping, grunting and unpleasant squelching noises?

Come, come, gentlemen - with ingenuity!

Gael23 · 18-09-2018 10:30pm

Would it not raise suspicions if you were locked in the bathroom for a good few minutes?

Jim Bob Scratcher · 18-09-2018 10:32pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Would it not raise suspicions if you were locked in the bathroom for a good few minutes?

A person could have a dose of the scuts

_brendand_ · 18-09-2018 10:32pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Would it not raise suspicions if you were locked in the bathroom for a good few minutes?

Just let on like it's a really stubborn ****. But of course no-one will actually be fooled...

Yer Da sells Avon · 18-09-2018 10:34pm

I just don't make eye contact with any of the other passengers on the bus.

Pero_Bueno · 18-09-2018 10:35pm

Or get in to his bed right next to him and start having a good old Tom Hank, wake him up as you are ripping the stomach off yourself, he'll think it's hilarious - trust me!

freshpopcorn · 18-09-2018 10:36pm

Sleep with their ma the night before and then work away.

Pero_Bueno · 18-09-2018 10:37pm

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

I just don't make eye contact with any of the other passengers on the bus.

Reminds me of the time back in pre internet days when I was looking at a filthy porn mag (remember those?!) and was having a great Tom Hank and was about to come when the f*cking Easons manager came up to me and said "Are you gonna f*ckin' buy that or not?"

Jaysus ruined it he did ....

Franz Von Peppercorn · 18-09-2018 10:38pm

Day Lewin wrote: »

Why just the males?
I have fond memories of very very silent fantasies when sharing a room with my sister.

All mental - just vividly imagined, like movies - until the last possible moment, then the pressed fingertip release.
Ah, youth!

so yes, it's possible.

Or can it be that the male members demand a high level of gasping, grunting and unpleasant squelching noises?

Come, come, gentlemen - with ingenuity!

I am so glad I had my own room as a teenager.

Gael23 · 18-09-2018 10:50pm

_brendand_ wrote: »

Just let on like it's a really stubborn ****. But of course no-one will actually be fooled...

Suppose if one made similar noises they may be

Baron Kurtz · 18-09-2018 10:53pm

Day Lewin wrote: »

Why just the males?
I have fond memories of very very silent fantasies when sharing a room with my sister.

All mental - just vividly imagined, like movies - until the last possible moment, then the pressed fingertip release.
Ah, youth!

so yes, it's possible.

Or can it be that the male members demand a high level of gasping, grunting and unpleasant squelching noises?

Come, come, gentlemen - with ingenuity!

There's something very This be the Verse by Larkin about this post. Primarily for the curt and open nature in its sentiment and it being put together with poetic relish.

Also, evoking a memory of would-be guilty sensual past indiscretions adds to the atmosphere in the post.

decky1 · 18-09-2018 11:17pm

c montgomery wrote: »

Use the bathroom and Cum in his bottle of shower gel.
Your not some sort of animal.

LOL all the way home.:D:D:D

Lucy8080 · 18-09-2018 11:21pm

Wife: "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

Husband: "It's not what you think,it's ice cream."

Wife: "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"

Husband: " Have you ever tried eating an ice cream while masturbating?"

Duckworth_Luas · 18-09-2018 11:21pm

Use their sock

Robsweezie · 19-09-2018 12:24am

'' sir i must insist that you stop masturbating''

''why doctor?''

''because im trying to examine you''

Omackeral · 19-09-2018 12:54am

Duckworth_Luas wrote: »

Use their sock

Ah the famed **** sock!

Gael23 · 19-09-2018 7:08am

Is it possible to work away under your bed sheets or too easy to be caught?

pickarooney · 19-09-2018 7:41am

Pero_Bueno wrote: »

Or get in to his bed right next to him and start having a good old Tom Hank, wake him up as you are ripping the stomach off yourself, he'll think it's hilarious - trust me!

I don't know why it annoys me so much but his name is Tom Hanks, with an S, it's not valid rhyming slang!

Wanderer78 · 19-09-2018 7:44am

Heard a funny story of lads cranking one out in jail cells over the weekend, those lads couldn't give a fcuk

Day Lewin · 19-09-2018 7:47am

Gael23 wrote: »

Is it possible to work away under your bed sheets or too easy to be caught?

Of course it is.
Or else we'd all be sadder (and angrier)
Necessity is the best teacher!

PS who in the world can "catch" you?
- Some randomer flinging the sheets off you á la boarding school?

PPS If someone asks why you are making that weird gasping sound, tell them you were having a horrible nightmare. Kind of true :-(

everlast75 · 19-09-2018 7:56am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Heard a funny story of lads cranking one out in jail cells over the weekend, those lads couldn't give a fcuk

Well if they could, they wouldn't be w**king

greenspurs · 19-09-2018 8:58am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Heard a funny story of lads cranking one out in jail cells over the weekend, those lads couldn't give a fcuk

Most of them take it up the sh1tt€r anyway .......
and if they don't when they are going in ... They will by the time they 'come out' ...

Cee-Jay-Cee · 19-09-2018 12:27pm

Have a Race, first to cum wins. The loser cleans up the mess for both.

henryforde80 · 19-09-2018 12:29pm

Just **** in the bathroom when having a shower while sniffing your own underwear

banie01 · 19-09-2018 12:29pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Particularly for the males in the audience.

When you are sharing a room with others for a period of time, how do you satisfy your needs?

Play cum on the biscuit and make yourself a friend for life

storker · 19-09-2018 12:40pm

Masturbation when room sharing

(a) Try to wait until the meeting is over

Alternatively...

(b) Have a big laptop in front of you
(c) Pretend you're a radio personailty from Cork who has recently taken paracetamol.

sbsquarepants · 19-09-2018 12:41pm

Duckworth_Luas wrote: »

Use their sock

Just FYI - make sure their foot is not still in it. That's a mistake you only make once:mad:

Aethan Dor · 19-09-2018 1:44pm

pickarooney wrote: »

I don't know why it annoys me so much but his name is Tom Hanks, with an S, it's not valid rhyming slang!

There’s valid rhyming slang available for you, as for most things : pedal and crank = ****, eg going for a pedal

Shanotheslayer · 19-09-2018 1:53pm

Day Lewin wrote: »

I have fond memories of very very silent fantasies with my sister

Umm, ok

jammiedodgers · 19-09-2018 1:56pm

I hate that incognito mode in google chrome. It doesn't even work, everyone can still see me masturbating in the internet café.

Hector Bellend · 19-09-2018 6:59pm

I've almost been caught **** in a shared room a number of times.

Sometime horniness can become overwhelming and you just have to release the pressure

Hector Bellend · 19-09-2018 7:04pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

Have a Race, first to cum wins. The loser cleans up the mess for both.

Whats the name for when a gang of lads **** onto a digestive biscuit? It includes at least three blokes trying to shoot their load on to a biscuit. The last lad to shoot off must eat the spooge laden biscuit

mackeire · 19-09-2018 7:18pm

Aethan Dor wrote: »

There’s valid rhyming slang available for you, as for most things : pedal and crank = ****, eg going for a pedal

Barry White = Sh1te, eg going for a Barry. Or going for a barrier.

BrokenArrows · 19-09-2018 7:26pm

Hector Bellend wrote: »

Whats the name for when a gang of lads **** onto a digestive biscuit? It includes at least three blokes trying to shoot their load on to a biscuit. The last lad to shoot off must eat the spooge laden biscuit

My wife came home horrified one night after a work party.

One of their team who was smashed announced to everyone at the table that he used to play that game all the time and usually lost but still was sure he wasn't gay. ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚

Of course everyone now calls him biscuit at work.

tupenny · 19-09-2018 8:15pm

I used to love to devour the soggy biscuit... good times

Sal Butamol · 19-09-2018 8:19pm

What if you are homeless?

Edgware · 19-09-2018 9:31pm

Sal Butamol wrote: »

What if you are homeless?

You will get some do gooder to pull you off while giving you the mushroom soup

Day Lewin · 19-09-2018 9:33pm

Sal Butamol wrote: »

What if you are homeless?

Then charge the going rate.

Pero_Bueno · 19-09-2018 11:28pm

Hector Bellend wrote: »

Whats the name for when a gang of lads **** onto a digestive biscuit? It includes at least three blokes trying to shoot their load on to a biscuit. The last lad to shoot off must eat the spooge laden biscuit

Soggy biscuit
Squishy biscuit.
I'm sure there's lots more.

Truly vile, and must be an urban myth...

KevinCavan · 19-09-2018 11:36pm

Is it not stipulated somewhere in the rental contract, in the small print? Maybe you can’t see small writing anymore, because of jerkin the gerkin?

KevinCavan · 19-09-2018 11:40pm

Sal Butamol wrote: »

What if you are homeless?

I think you can legally **** in a Garda station if you are homeless

jbt123 · 20-09-2018 12:02am

KevinCavan wrote: »

Sal Butamol wrote: »

What if you are homeless?

I think you can legally **** in a Garda station if you are homeless

Nah...if you're homeless and pregnant.. then you can defecate in a Garda hat..

Masturbation when room sharing

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