Now Ye're Talking - to an ex-prisoner

x Purple Pawprints x · 08-09-2017 4:14pm

Excellent AMA

No question, but just wanted to say fair play to you for getting your life back on track when you got out.

BrokenArrows · 08-09-2017 4:16pm

How far in advance of your release do you know the exact date?
How are the final few days before you get out?

Hazys · 08-09-2017 4:24pm

Did your health change in Prison? Did you gain or lose any significant weight during your time?

Is there a gym? If so, how long can you work out for and is it busy?

Foweva Awone · 08-09-2017 4:32pm

Do you feel your personality has changed much before and after. Well I guess it must have, somewhat! But what are the biggest changes you or those close to you have noticed?

Strange as this sounds, are you glad you were caught and imprisoned? After all it sounds like you're in a good place overall now .... say if you'd gotten away with it (and any potential crimes you may have committed since), where do you think your life would be now?

LOVING this AMA, one of the best so far.

....... · 08-09-2017 4:54pm

This post has been deleted.

Jobs OXO · 08-09-2017 4:57pm

Is there a jax in your cell? Is it a solo cell?

....... · 08-09-2017 5:03pm

This post has been deleted.

GypsyByName · 08-09-2017 5:12pm

John_D80 wrote: »

Are the gym bunnies allowed have protein/supplements?

And do they ever smuggle in steroids and hormones?

Some guys come out of prison in phenomonal shape.

Protein can be bought in the tuck shop, steroids can be smuggled in.

Tell me how wrote: »

Imagine that you were in a position where you thought you were going to end up homeless. Now that you have a prison conviction, would you consider engineering your incarceration as an alternative?

In a word........No!

derdider wrote: »

What was it like when you it first hit you that you would be going to prison for 6 years ? Whether that was when you were arrested or when the judge told you you would be going ?

What was the scariest part, first being arrested and realising the trouble you were in or walking into the prison for the first time ?

I can image for some people the whole thing would be terrifying and for others who may have been around plenty of prisoners on the outside or who may even know a few that they would meet inside it would be far less daunting

Walking in the first time was the scariest, the fear of the unknown. Nothing can prepare you for it!

Butter wrote: »

Great aul AMA!

I'd just like to ask what passes your mind when you see a Garda on the street or what do you think of members of An Garda Síochána in general? A lot of prisoners/ex-prisoners seem to justify there actions and blame the Guards for getting caught rather than themselves.

Hope your able to answer!

The same as I do about PO's. Some gentlemen in uniform and some not so nice !!

I never let the uniform define the man/woman.

BrokenArrows wrote: »

How far in advance of your release do you know the exact date?
How are the final few days before you get out?

A couple of days, some find out hours before hand!

Hazys wrote: »

Did your health change in Prison? Did you gain or lose any significant weight during your time?

Is there a gym? If so, how long can you work out for and is it busy?

There are gyms, depends on the landing your on or if u have a job in a workshop or kitchen etc.

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Do you feel your personality has changed much before and after. Well I guess it must have, somewhat! But what are the biggest changes you or those close to you have noticed?

Strange as this sounds, are you glad you were caught and imprisoned? After all it sounds like you're in a good place overall now .... say if you'd gotten away with it (and any potential crimes you may have committed since), where do you think your life would be now?

LOVING this AMA, one of the best so far.

If I wasnt caught then, Id be in prison!! Kind of destined for it the road I was going down.

....... wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Copious amounts of tea. Strangely enough I only started drinking coffee in there!! Cant live without a daily mug now!

Junk food in open prisons not in enclosed ones!!

You can buy stuff like sweets and chocolate in tuck shop, or packets of tuna and pot noodles too.

Jobs OXO wrote: »

Is there a jax in your cell? Is it a solo cell?

There wasnt at first but Mountjoy has been done up now so as far as Im aware its all single cells with toilet and sink!

GypsyByName · 08-09-2017 5:18pm

Hey Guys,

I have no problem continuing this on Monday if thats ok with you lot! I might even have a question for you guys too. Ive really enjoyed this so far so I dont see a reason not to continue it for a bit next week. Once the questions dont start getting repetitive.

This is just me throwing something out there........i was asked if I found it hard building relationships....Id like to ask the ladies on here if before reading this, would they ever consider a relationship with someone who was in prison and has there opinion changed during the course of this AMA. It is not me seeking a relationship at all, im just curious.

Asking for a friend

StripedBoxers · 08-09-2017 5:25pm

Excellent AMA, one of the best so far. Thanks for doing it. Wishing you all the best for your future.

I've seen questions.

If in years to come your child(ren) was caught similar to you and was facing prison, how would you react? How would you feel? Disappointed, angry etc.

How did your family feel when you were caught and sentenced? Did it damage or strengthen your relationship with your family?

StripedBoxers · 08-09-2017 5:28pm

GypsyByName wrote: »

Hey Guys,

I have no problem continuing this on Monday if thats ok with you lot! I might even have a question for you guys too. Ive really enjoyed this so far so I dont see a reason not to continue it for a bit next week. Once the questions dont start getting repetitive.

This is just me throwing something out there........i was asked if I found it hard building relationships....Id like to ask the ladies on here if before reading this, would they ever consider a relationship with someone who was in prison and has there opinion changed during the course of this AMA. It is not me seeking a relationship at all, im just curious.

Asking for a friend

I'm female, I'd consider a relationship with a former prisoner, it all depends on why they were in (rape, paedophilia etc) and who they are as a person after they are released. Have they changed, would they be easily led back to their previous life/ways etc.

Tell me how · 08-09-2017 5:32pm

GypsyByName wrote:

This is just me throwing something out there........i was asked if I found it hard building relationships....Id like to ask the ladies on here if before reading this, would they ever consider a relationship with someone who was in prison and has there opinion changed during the course of this AMA. It is not me seeking a relationship at all, im just curious.

StripedBoxers wrote:

I'm female, I'd consider a relationship with a former prisoner, it all depends on why they were in (rape, paedophilia etc) and who they are as a person after they are released. Have they changed, would they be easily led back to their previous life/ways etc.

Most. Elaborate. Pick. Up. Game. Ever.

GypsyByName · 08-09-2017 5:37pm

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Excellent AMA, one of the best so far. Thanks for doing it. Wishing you all the best for your future.

I've seen questions.

If in years to come your child(ren) was caught similar to you and was facing prison, how would you react? How would you feel? Disappointed, angry etc.

How did your family feel when you were caught and sentenced? Did it damage or strengthen your relationship with your family?

Id feel angry and disappointed to be totally honest because I fully intend on schooling my boys as to where I went wrong, its only a mistake if you dont learn from it. I hope Ive made the mistake for my boys!

It certainly didnt enhance my relationship with my family no, we are no closer. They are ashamed of me and I dont know if that will change. I cant do anything about that.

StripedBoxers wrote: »

I'm female, I'd consider a relationship with a former prisoner, it all depends on why they were in (rape, paedophilia etc) and who they are as a person after they are released. Have they changed, would they be easily led back to their previous life/ways etc.

Interesting, but if they told you straight off the bat you might not give them the time of day. Thats my struggle!

Tell me how wrote: »

Most. Elaborate. Pick. Up. Game. Ever.

Ah no, just curious to see the mindset thats all. Everyone has a story!

shaunr68 · 08-09-2017 5:54pm

Firstly fascinating thread, fair play to you and glad that you managed to turn your life around. I'm sure many of us have made mistakes and done silly things in our younger, more reckless days and perhaps more through luck than judgement got away with it, so there's an element of "there but for the grace of (insert deity of choice) go I".

Speaking of religion, now comes my question. You touched on religion earlier and said it wasn't an issue, so perhaps this isn't relevant at all - and if so that's a good thing! However it is depicted in the media and the phenomena of "convenience Muslims" is mentioned in the Wiki article below

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_to_Islam_in_prisons

Is there an element of religious coercion, pressure to convert to certain religion(s) by force or manuipulation, to fit in or in order to benefit from special food and privileges?

In other words, on release do some people have a beard and a different imaginary friend?

StripedBoxers · 08-09-2017 5:57pm

Thanks a mill for your answers.

GypsyByName wrote: »

Interesting, but if they told you straight off the bat you might not give them the time of day. Thats my struggle!

For me personally if someone told me they were in prison previously for XX crime and they're now a changed person etc then I'd certainly give them a chance but if they didn't tell me straight up, I'd still give them a chance.

It's not an easy thing to tell someone and there's two ways I would see it

Telling them straight away I would see as being brutally honest and it gives the person you're dating a chance to decide if they'd like to continue on or not.

Not telling them I would see as letting them get to know you as you are now, not who you were previously or as a criminal or former prisoner so while they may be shocked, upset, angry at not being told, they know who you are now and what you are like so in a way you've shown them that you are not who you were previously (if that makes any sense).

Now if you said you were in for a more serious crime or weren't sure if you would be led down a dodgy path again then I would be wary and probably (most likely) wouldn't continue on.

Tell me how · 08-09-2017 5:59pm

With respect to telling potential partners about your past. I can relate to that. I didn't date for a number of years because of depression.

Now, I struggle with explaining my dating cv without potentially scaring people off.

Haven't quite figured it out yet.

StripedBoxers · 08-09-2017 6:06pm

Tell me how wrote: »

With respect to telling potential partners about your past. I can relate to that. I didn't date for a number of years because of depression.

Now, I struggle with explaining my dating cv without potentially scaring people off.

Haven't quite figured it out yet.

Can I ask, what are you struggling with in regards to explaining about dating?

Do you mean, struggling to explain why you haven't/hadn't dated in a long time and explaining those reasons why?

I myself suffer with depression and it has in the past held me back from dating but rather than say that straight away I would just say that I was enjoying being single or wasn't looking do date or start a relationship.

Tell me how · 08-09-2017 6:09pm

^^

Will pm you. Don't want to derail thread.

Goat the dote · 08-09-2017 6:27pm

I'm female. My attitude would depend on the reason you were in, as in if it was a sex crime I wouldn't give you a chance.
If you came across like a reformed character (and you do in this case) I probably would give you a chance,

Sleeper12 · 08-09-2017 6:35pm

Here's the thing. If you let everyone know about your past & all of a sudden cert in girls will be repelled but others will crawl all over you. It's human nature at it's best

LadyMacBeth_ · 08-09-2017 6:37pm

Such an interesting AMA, thanks for being so frank about it all. You have a brilliant sense of humour and it sounds like you did the best you could in prison to improve your circumstances and when you got out, it must be difficult to adjust.

As for your question about dating, I actually did have a brief fling with a guy who'd been in prison for about three years. I knew he'd been in prison and I wasn't the one to end it, we were really young though and he was just recently out so I think he needed to have some fun. Now that I am older it would depend on the crime, especially if violence was involved, and if the person was remorseful or likely to end up in prison again. For example, if I met you and went on a date with you and you told me your circumstances then I don't think it would put me off, I respect the efforts you've made with regards to your education, work and addiction issues. It's just my opinion but if I were you I'd probably wait a few dates in, so they have an idea of whether they like you or not but you are not in too deep yet, as it might feel like a betrayal finding out six months down the line. Best of luck for the future

dj jarvis · 08-09-2017 7:22pm

Snitches get stitches i presume

freshpopcorn · 08-09-2017 7:55pm

Did you ever cry/get very upset in prison or would other prisoners be emotional?

How did your family find out you were caught?

jennyhayes123 · 08-09-2017 8:16pm

As I'm married it's not something I've ever given thought to but if I was single and if I really liked the person and what they were in for hadn't harmed another person then I would consider it. Maybe not something to throw in on first date but if it's going somewhere tell then
Very interesting read

fmpisces · 08-09-2017 9:11pm

Wow what an endearing read! I applaud you for your candidness in respect of all your replies. It's great to see that you are getting your life on track.

Dating someone who has been in prison is not something I ever actually thought about, but me being me, I like to give people a chance. Have to say that someone being completely honest about their past upon first meeting might throw me a little at first, and I'd quite possibly stumble out a few awkward questions to find out a bit more (but better to get that out of the way) and take it from there. Being upfront is huge to me but then so would be the nature of the crime. There'd be some crimes that I just could not overlook, no matter how repentant the guy was or how reformed he is now. Just my 2 cents.

But fair play to you, and I wish you all the best in the future!

08-09-2017 9:17pm

GypsyByName wrote: »

No D4 Landing they ususally get jobs in the kitchen tho, handy shifts!

As above white collar lads ususally end up working in the kitchen, they are in there from 7.30 until about 5.30 so are kept away from the main population most of the day, unless of course they dont want to, most jump at the opportunity in fairness. Id say the day flies in when they work in there. I generally got on well with them lads. They just do their time like the rest of us. Ya get no medals for being in prison.

No sex offenders in Mountjoy, they are ususally in Arbour Hill or there is a landing in Wheatfield for them if i remember correctly.

They are scum, generally get treated as such or have the common sense to go on protection, 23 hr lock up!

!

Is there a hierarchy of prisoners in relation to their crimes? If so, how does that work out on a day to day basis?

Also, do you think it's all about prisoners just trying to minimise the effect of their crime, relative to what they see is a greater crime committed by other prisoners?

snowflaker · 08-09-2017 9:51pm

Great ama. I'm imagining you as a brooding Wentworth Miller type- you did say you were good-looking :P

Gloomtastic! · 08-09-2017 9:52pm

They say Prisons are Universities of Crime. Did you learn anything while you where there?

Just had a mad thought. How do think a unisex prison would work? (Prison Officer could answer this as well!!)

snowflaker · 08-09-2017 9:52pm

My question would be- what would you say those "lock em up and throw away the key" type posters on boards?

Nokia6230i · 08-09-2017 10:03pm

GypsyByName wrote: »

I am actually working at the moment, in fairness I got the job through a friend and my employer knows my past issues etc, I am doing quite well in that regard but in general its a nightmare for ex prisoners to get a job unless its through someone they know. Thats my experience anyway.

Going to have fun reading both the questions and answers here so fair play fella (I think that can be assumed?) for doing this.

Do you feel the stigma associated with being a convicted person, much less a prisoner is unfair?

I'd be of opinion you treat people according to their crime and don't rule them out of all employment & voluntary roles.

How've you fared in relation to your work life and have you tried for voluntary roles?

Yes you don't let someone with a conviction for paedophilia work with children no matter how far in the past it was or how much they've rehabilitated (though some may argue under supervision and if they underwent chemical castration & the/ir urges lessened, it should be a remote possibility under certain circumstances.....).

But I know of say, a volunteer centre in Ireland who say any offences against State or Person is automatically excluded.

Appeals're pointless; box ticking exercise.

Using a sledgehammer to crack a nut is that.

Now Ye're Talking - to an ex-prisoner

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