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Now Ye're Talking - to an ex-prisoner
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GypsyByName wrote: »Hey Guys,
I have no problem continuing this on Monday if thats ok with you lot! I might even have a question for you guys too. Ive really enjoyed this so far so I dont see a reason not to continue it for a bit next week. Once the questions dont start getting repetitive.
This is just me throwing something out there........i was asked if I found it hard building relationships....Id like to ask the ladies on here if before reading this, would they ever consider a relationship with someone who was in prison and has there opinion changed during the course of this AMA. It is not me seeking a relationship at all, im just curious.
Asking for a friend
I have known a good few who were in prison. I dated a few...one who was a heroin addict,,,never again. Others were family members because of drink and the violence that entails. I still have love for men I know who went to jail so I would not judge. it all depends on circumstances. Plus its one thing seeing it written down in black and white....its another seeing it from someone you know and love. Its complicated for sure.
Just to add,,,Fair play to you doing this AMA, It's been the best AMA of all for me and I have read them all. I have someone in my life who has done a lot of time in jail . Its hard to escape a certain lifestyle even though they would like to. You start out young and oblivious, then age and realise the futility of it all but can you escape. Unless you are prepared to leave all and everything and everyone you know sometimes , it just isn't that easy.
I wish you well and I would not hold one stupid mistake again you. Good luck in the future, Stay on the right path.0 -
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There are a lot of things that turn me off a fella- but I definitely wouldn't run a mile straight away if they mentioned prison (again, depending on the crime... and the man!)
So long as he likes animals and Christmas, I can overlook what's happened in the past! Sure we all have one!
Please tell me you were allowed to get dressed before they carted you off!!
What's the recreation yard like? Is it just a concrete yard?
Were there any 'outdoor' activities available, like gardening, or would that really just be an open prison thing?
Got dressed at gunpoint!
Just a concrete yard that we walked round in a clockwise direction! noone walks the other way, always amused me that!yummymummyjay wrote: »Interesting read fair play!
Thanks Yumzer!Still finding this an amazing read and see so many things the same with my own time inside. Most realistic and honest discussion about prison in Ireland I ever seen.
I've had the same experience with dating too. Prison wouldn't be something I'd bring up straight away but like the OP I found it to be a dealbraker. i was getting pretty serious with one girl not so long ago and wanted to come clean but put it off but she found out before I got to tell her myself. I'd cover my tracks by saying I was in Australia for a while but that only got me so far. That really destroyed things for us and she said it was more about not being honest with her rather than prison but I don't think that was the case. She was a bit younger than me and was close to her family so I can't imagine they would have been thrilled to see their princess dating an ex prisoner even if she could get over it. And also I was in for a "violent" crime so that is different to the OP. There were others I dated who had a problem with it - maybe not directly break up over it but I knew it was an issue. There were a few though who seemed to find it exciting - maybe like dating a "bad boy" but nothing serious became of those.
OP did you move away from where you were living after getting out? I went back home after getting out but felt a bit paranoid that people who knew me were judging me - probably a bit paranoid but that was the way I felt. Partly because of that I decide to move to the country and also to go back to college, It was like trying to make a fresh start and getting away from things and people I wanted to avoid.
You seem to say that your son didn't know you were in prison - how did that work out? Because of things with my ex he knew and he came to visit me and that was so tough for me. he was young but as a Dad I felt like I had let him down big time and he found it hard to understand. We agreed that it was better ge didn't see me in there after a while. I know some other lads had different stories for their kids like having to go away or being in the Army but wondwe how you dealt with that?
Memories of the Christmas morning fry! I was in over 2 Chritmases - first one was hard and you are thinking so much about what you are missing at home (esp my son)and imagining people having a great time when you are stuck in a cell. I got TR for the second Christmas so got a few days at home and away from prison. It was great but so hard to go back when it was over. When you were out some weekends coming up to release did you find it hard going back or were you counting down to getting out and just went along with it?
It was good of the prison officer to post and what he said. I think people would be surprised that alot of prisoners "get on" with the officers and you can actually end up having a decent chat with them. I found that most were sound with you as long as you were sound with them as long as you weren't giving trouble. They do have a tough job I realise that and they don't want any more trouble either. It can be sort of like home for them too. Obviously you don't get too friendly but it's no harm having somebody to support you if you are looking for a job/move or to get something done.
When I was in Wheatfield I came across an officer who I had been in school with and lived in the same estate as kids. I hadn't seen him for a while but knew him straight away. It just goes to show that you never know how life is going to turn out and what happens because of the things we do. Never would have expected to meet him again in prison although he was an officer and I was a prisoner. Anything similar happen to you?
Anyway good luck with answering all the questions. It is a great read and I think for anybody reading this thread will have a different view of prisoners and prison and that is a good thing you are doing.
How it was kept from my eldest son is worthy of a whole thread all by itself !! I only found out I was a father while I was in prison! He was almost 7 then. (dont feel like getting into this in fairness)
I knew a few of the officers in Mountjoy before i was in there.Noble Korhedron wrote: »Of course; stupid of me not to realise.
Back on-topic; Q. for GypsyByName. Are certain prisons used for certain prisoners? I remember reading Paul William's "Evil Empire", and Brian Meehan was berating some random girlfriend of one of Gilligan's drug gang, that Arbour Hill was for "rapists and *swearword* rats". This was after Charlie Bowden was lifted, due to the Gardaí interrogating Russell Warren.
Arbour Hill is for sex offenders, Portlaoise has a wing for republicans etc.Hi Gypsybyname
Very enjoyabale AMA
Could i ask you how do prisoners that have health problems i.e Asthma diabetes Heart touble etc cope ? is there a chemist where they can get there regular precriptions and see a doc Also what happens if a prisoner gets real sick is there someone to call for medical help
Thanks
There is always a medic of some sort around, medical issues are all dealt with properly. there is no chemist its not a bloody village You que up each morning and evening for your meds if you need them, they are prescribed by the doctor.Hannibal_Smith wrote: »When your sentence was read out, were you surprised by how short it was, or horrified by how long it was? Were you mentally prepared for a prison sentence or was there a small hope you clung to?
I was watching a documentary before on prison life, could have been UK based. And one of the guys said that when he arrived in prison first the hardest thing to get used to was the door closing behind you in the cell (obviously). But he said after his release, the strangest thing was getting used to opening a door for himself again. Are there moments when you're doing something relatively mundane that you think...I can't believe I'm doing this again?!
When you were being released did you have any mates in there that you felt bad about leaving behind?
When i got out I still used to hide my phone at night time when I was going to bed as mad as it sounds! Not as well as I hid it in prison but just under my pillow or in a drawer. I couldnt have it on view or I couldnt sleep!pitifulgod wrote: »Firstly, fair play to the op in terms of openness and you seem to be a lovely guy.
Is there anything that was a culture shock to you upon being released? Substantial changes etc.
Not really to be honest, I found crossing the road really strange at first. Getting served in shops was strange because I was really paranoid, I thought everyone knew I was just out of prison!jooksavage wrote: »Best AMA so far, fair play to you for doing it.
Was there any point since your release that you were half-tempted to fall back on your old line of work or was that even an option? Do you ever socialise with your "colleagues" from the old days?
No And No!Did you ever have a Rita Hayworth poster on your wall?
Nah, had the entire contents of Zoo magazine all over the ceiling tho!Have you seen any of the online documentaries about Halden Prison in Norway? Do you think that a similarly progressive system could work in Ireland?
It might work but..........It would have to be progressive and start with juvenile prisons I think. They could not walk into Mountjoy and adapt that approach over night!Deleted User wrote: »Is there any truth in the advice that you often see thrown out on tv shows and movies that when you are sent to prison you don't look for trouble but if trouble finds you, you have to strike hard to get respect. Or else punch someone pretty early on to prove you aren't to be ****ed with?
I'd imagine the former is fairly good advice but the latter is a bit foolish?
The big fella more than likely has more pals than you! Or little minions who want to gain his respect so its not the best advice!RebelHeart1981 wrote: »I have known a good few who were in prison. I dated a few...one who was a heroin addict,,,never again. Others were family members because of drink and the violence that entails. I still have love for men I know who went to jail so I would not judge. it all depends on circumstances. Plus its one thing seeing it written down in black and white....its another seeing it from someone you know and love. Its complicated for sure.
Just to add,,,Fair play to you doing this AMA, It's been the best AMA of all for me and I have read them all. I have someone in my life who has done a lot of time in jail . Its hard to escape a certain lifestyle even though they would like to. You start out young and oblivious, then age and realise the futility of it all but can you escape. Unless you are prepared to leave all and everything and everyone you know sometimes , it just isn't that easy.
I wish you well and I would not hold one stupid mistake again you. Good luck in the future, Stay on the right path.
Thank you!Gloomtastic! wrote: »As a former prisoner, are there things you can't do, that other people would take for granted. Travel to the US and jobs that need Garda clearance come to mind. Anything else?
Australia and America but Im not entirely sure how stringent they are ! Ive known cases of people with similar circumstances to me having no trouble getting stateside or to Australia.
Cigarettes are called "straights"Is there any prison lingo that is unique ?0 -
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