Single peoples thread (EVERYONE POSTING HERE WILL BE TAUNTED)

Le Rack · 01-07-2005 8:53pm

You thought I couldn't take it anymore, but little did you know I'm a master at holding my breath... I lie for a second longer regaining my strentgh.
Before you know it I'm on top of you, with YOUR face in the mud, I grab your hair and smash your face into the muddy ground just before I deliver a shattering elbow strike to your back collapsing a lung. I rise up and stand on your back to prevent you re-attacking and give Sarky a victorious look as he runs to hug me!

BEAT · 01-07-2005 9:02pm

silly girl,
sarky isnt for kids!
Little did you know he wasnt rushing to hug you he was runing to knock you off of me...as you fell backwards with a look of heartbroken shock I jump up and grab ahold of your head. I quickly jerk it breaking your neck.
You are now dead. There is no recovery and your ghost can not haunt me as I used my secret ninja ways to send your soul to hell with no stops along the way.
I am, as I said in the beginning the one and only Winner.

Now go away and leave us to it will ye.

Le Rack · 01-07-2005 9:04pm

hey now I was gonna kill you ages ago, about three post back I was gonna break your neck but in an act of humanity I didn't!I think I should therefore win by default, and you be jailed for 25 years for attempted murder!

BEAT · 01-07-2005 9:07pm

hehe, I was going to kill you in my first post...and it wasnt attempted...it was successfull. Dead people are not winners,
so mosey on off to hell now...I am tried of your taunting spirit.

Le Rack · 01-07-2005 9:12pm

taunty taunty taunty!
in that case round two!
Little did you know yoiu merely cracked my neck, giving me a crick not death! In a final act of rage I charge at you, riping your skull from you spine, allowing you to drown in a pool of you own blood! And just to make sure I rip your still beating heart from your body with such venom that you get to see it give one last pump (well you would had I not ripped your skull from your spine...)

The remains of your body collapse in a muddy bloodened mess, leaving me to love and worship Sarky and his fantabulous beard!

BEAT · 01-07-2005 9:15pm

sorry but you were dead, your spirit fantasies just wont cut it...
while you were acting out that little fit hitting air as you swung Sarky and I were off conceiving our own little anti-christ.

buh-bye now...dont let the gate hit you in the ass on your way in to hell.

BEAT · 01-07-2005 9:18pm

ok now, you were declared dead 5 posts ago...time to move on.
accept defeat and stop trying to bring urself back to life...
this isnt a zombie thread

The great and all powerful BEAT has spoken.

Move along...nothing to see here.

Le Rack · 01-07-2005 9:22pm

owe I just burnt my mouth! But its soo good! (pizza) Flame grilled! Thats how they cook down here in hell! spicy too! Enjoy mortality! I've just been made immortal!

joejoem · 04-07-2005 3:10pm

Could the people in this thread not pair off together?

MooShop · 04-07-2005 3:19pm

now there's an idea, do you mean like some sort of speed dating thing til you find someone you like??

Sarky · 04-07-2005 3:31pm

I bags Amp!

airetam_storm · 04-07-2005 4:14pm

Christ, just finished reading the full 13 pages. You could make a comic outta some a this stuff....womens mud-wrestling, the grumpy old mod, internet marriages, Joejoem having mid-mid-life-crises

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 05-07-2005 11:07am

Hey, I was just thinking... as a singleton doesn't it bother anyone else to hear people say stuff like "All the good guys/girls are taken!" ... it's like - oh thanks a fking bunch

joejoem wrote:

Could the people in this thread not pair off together?

Bleh, the ratio of male:female in this thread would mean a lot of gay pairings. :eek:
Someone move this thread to the LGB board :roffles:

Le Rack · 05-07-2005 12:19pm

Bleh, the ratio of male:female in this thread would mean a lot of gay pairings. :eek:
= Donkey Style

no its okay I'l pimp it up, I'll have at least one guy for each leg and each arm!!!

Sarky · 05-07-2005 5:28pm

Maximum pimpin'?

I like your style.

Now, to go back to hating all couples.

*hates*

airetam_storm · 05-07-2005 5:32pm

i baggs the...damn already taken

Le Rack · 05-07-2005 10:42pm

yeah back to the ranting! I hate all couples but I want a fúckin boyf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 05-07-2005 10:51pm

Eternal solitude, or to become the thing you hate above all else.
OH NOES!!!1

So how come you want a boyfriend?

Santa Claus · 06-07-2005 10:24am

You think you lot have it bad......I'm single for the past year and yet can't get near a women as everyone think I'm married and cheating on Mrs Claus.
Yes that's right, there is no Mrs Claus ! :eek:

Add to this the fact that Santa has recently turned 30 and this makes for one grumpy pissed off Santa (Think of the grinch but minus the whole green skin thing).

So in order to ease my grumpyness I have decided that all people in relationships will be ineligable to receive presents from me this Christmas (Of course as this may lead to a surplus of gifts, hot single women will get extra presents) !!!!!!!

amazingemmet · 06-07-2005 7:32pm

I'm being forced to do this its the last act of a desperate man but i'm single and hating it. It makes me want to stick things under all those happy couples finger nails as they walk down the street holding hands looking happy.

Well i've got news for them READ PI, relationships are all gonna end bad and you'll end up feeling worse then we do.

I was nearly saved from a single life today when i got a email from one of the dating sites i'm signed up for, i check cautiously, i read on its a woman i go to check her profile and its been removed. i swear there's a conspiracy against me

also i think someone s**t in my cornflakes this morning

Sarky · 06-07-2005 7:33pm

*Continues hating couples*

Le Rack · 07-07-2005 3:00pm

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote:

Eternal solitude, or to become the thing you hate above all else.
OH NOES!!!1

So how come you want a boyfriend?

cuz I haven't really been entirely single in ages I've always had someone there, like a kinda fallback but that sounds ignorant so not quite that, and I HATE bein single, HATE it! Especially when all my friends have boyfs and are all happy and as good as settled!

Sarky · 07-07-2005 3:02pm

So start making them feel guilty. It's more fun than you'd think...

amazingemmet · 07-07-2005 3:04pm

I second sarky's idea and if they don't start feeling guilty there's always the rake option

TerrorFirmer · 07-07-2005 3:05pm

Le Rack, I have decided you are a 12 year old lumpy crack of hair

Report to my office immediately for termination.

We can play hide and seek in Sarkys beard. Its like a night out in the pub except better. And possibly more intoxicating.

/Me thugs beard furiously

Sarky · 07-07-2005 3:07pm

You don't want to hide in my beard, you don't know where it's been!

BEAT · 07-07-2005 3:16pm

Santa Claus wrote:

So in order to ease my grumpyness I have decided that all people in relationships will be ineligable to receive presents from me this Christmas (Of course as this may lead to a surplus of gifts, hot single women will get extra presents) !!!!!!!

so this means I get Extra Elves this year? with extra long candy canes?
I think it is time to start up the xmas wish list in After hours...it is afterall, july

I want to make sure i get my request up there...oh and Santa...since ther is no Mrs. Claus I expect you to make a *special* visit down my chimney this year

Le Rack · 07-07-2005 3:41pm

i like beards..... I'm infact not all that hairy and a bit older than 12...

Giblet · 07-07-2005 4:42pm

I killed my Girlfriend just to post here

Le Rack · 07-07-2005 4:47pm

well done

Single peoples thread (EVERYONE POSTING HERE WILL BE TAUNTED)

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