Men No Longer Want to Date, Why?

Horn_of_Africa

The penny for some still hasn't dropped. You can discuss an issue without wanting to get involved in solving the issue.

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171560#Comment_119171560

Some might call that “virtue signalling”. Or would it be vice signalling, in this case?

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171595#Comment_119171595

The genuine men seem to have no interest in campaigning beyond shutting down dissent online. Think that's the toxic masculinity I've been hearing about.

growleaves

Paternity leave is more a result of social atomisation than anything else. It exists to help couples, not to help men.

In a traditional society with big extended families and strong community bonds it wouldn't feature.

Horn_of_Africa

It's interesting that men get longer sentencing for the same crimes, it's also interesting that black people and unattractive people get longer sentences for the same crime.

I don't care either way, life is far too short, however it's interesting nonetheless.

con___manx1

People are far to picky now with dating apps. They always think they can do better. I was guilty of that myself.

Marriage costs a fuckin fortune. Why anyone would waste 30 to 40 grand on one day ill never understand.

Kids the costs are through the roof aswell.

Im happy enough with not being married and no kids. Just me and the girlfriend shes happy with that aswell.

Ill look after nices nephews now and again then give them back.

nullzero

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171621#Comment_119171621

Would you describe yourself as a male feminist out of interest?

nullzero

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171223#Comment_119171223

Said nobody.

gary550

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119169571#Comment_119169571

Ordinarily I'd agree with you but I was mates with the girl at the time, I can assure you it is not sh*te talk.

gary550

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171223#Comment_119171223

I'd assume that might be sarcasm? Men and people in general have never had it easier.

I wouldn't swap lives with my Great Granda or his father or any other man down my lineage. None were educated and all lived a life of hard labour. I'm probably the first man who'll carry the family name who lives in a time where I can put my brain to use rather than my hands and will probably be the first to die a millionaire. Near sure I'm the first person in my lineage to own a business also. I'm only the 4th generation that can read and write ffs.

Was past times easier to date and find a woman? I'd be pretty sure it was which I'd assume may have been to do with how robust people were and how little options most had and a difference in attitude. Still no trade off for how most people had to live.

The only thing they have on me was the fact they all had reproduced by the time they were my age, I'm riding nothing at the minute so no chance of that changing 😂😂😂

YellowLead

Ireland is such a small country it’s definitely hard to meet people when you get older (esp as a female) and many are already married - divorce is still relatively uncommon here in comparison to other European countries.

Women don't want to commit either since the whole covid thing kicked off. Or maybe I've lost my touch over the lockdown! 😂

Andrewf20

I dont get the cost of housing argument. Buying as a couple vs single increases what you can afford. 2 salaries vs 1 etc.

ILoveYourVibes

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171556#Comment_119171556

True ...women are becoming intimate when there is no intimacy...

ILoveYourVibes

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172048#Comment_119172048

buying a house is not the same as getting married and having kids ...

actually i know of a couple who did get married bought a house ....now he wants a divorce and says he only married her so he would get a mortgage approval ..he wants to be divorced but wants them to stay in the house together and keep paying it off ...NONE of it makes sense to me because he is spanish and could easily buy a cheaper home in spain but he is working in a bank here also she is only a barrista ...so its not like her salary would make a diff in real numbers but that is what he said.

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171842#Comment_119171842

Marriage doesn’t need to cost €30K, if both parties agree on a small do. Between registry office and a meal for a few people, that’s all you need. Neither do children necessarily cost a lot, particularly if you can get by on one income. In this case, cost only increases in teenage and young adult years. Of course you can also spend a fortune on weddings and raising small kids as well.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172085#Comment_119172085

Poor girl...

Housefree

People aren't having as much sex anymore, young people today are having less sex than their parents & grandparents. All these dating apps are used for validation & amusement, not actually meeting up & dating. Something has changed in western societies

ILoveYourVibes

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172095#Comment_119172095

Yeah she is lovely ...very outgoing. It's awful ..to happen to anyone its horrible but she is a lovely person. I don't know her well. But its really weird. He seemed ..alright like. I never sensed anything weird between them. Her family were blown away by his confession. Now she is tied to this mortgage and she doesn't even want to live there.

I feel like he has this ...thing in his head of how his life should be ...like bank manager syndrome ...and so he used her to put his life in order ...

Like i was looking at pics of their wedding in spain etc on facebook and everything looks fine he doesnt look hesitant or anything ..i kept wondering why he was buying a house here and not back home cuz its so much more expensive here.... but then i thought spanish wages are lower so ..

I reckon he wants to pay it off here or sell in like ten years THEN go back to spain and then buy at spanish prices.

Horrible.

ILoveYourVibes

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172097#Comment_119172097

People dont believe in actual love anymore.

And if you don't think it exists it's unlikely to happen to you. We need to value love more and each other.

Plus there is no happy medium between people thinking you can fall in love in five mins on an app and waiting 8 years to move in together.

Maybe the whole thing of there is someone better comes from watching people with fake lives on social media. I dunno ...but i don't know if i believe in the someone better thing because if you fall hard for someone you are blind to their flaws even if you see they are wrong for you ..your heart believes and you go for it ...

Dvaey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058248990/men-no-longer-want-to-date-why

There are some men who would like to date women to try meet a suitable long term partner but do not get barely any chance. Like one poster said they still live at home I have found from personal experience that a good portion of women seem to look down upon this. Some examples I can point to when I tried online dating in the past and when I did get replies and the talking stage begins when I got asked about my living situation or job and I am honest in telling the other person I live at home and I am working on a community employment scheme I never hear back again. Now some might say I am overthinking things but when the replies stop when Im upfront and honest about my work and living situation what else am I conclude? I wish most women would not be so Judgemental about a guys employment status or living arrangements but from trying online dating that is the way it came across.

Housefree

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172137#Comment_119172137

She should just get pregnant, she will have the house till the child finishes 3rd level and he will be paying the mortgage. Nothing he can do about it, as many an Irish man has found out

ILoveYourVibes

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172153#Comment_119172153

I know you are joking but ...

They are no longer having sex ...and were not for some time during the marriage (he backed off). When i say he married her for the house ..im not kidding. Also i think her parents helped them out a bit.

She is devasted. There wasn't even a big blow up ..he just said ...I never loved you. He was really calm about the whole thing and thinks they should be friends.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171548#Comment_119171548

Well, for my part, I've been to a variety of meetings both here in Ireland and the UK, along with a few marches in the UK (the groups tend to mix to generate more support, both in terms of numbers, and financially). I've a few male friends who have been hit hard in divorces, lost custody or visiting rights to their kids (while being required to pay both child support and support the ex), and a variety of other problems. One of those other problems is the attitude of the Gardai/Police/Courts to domestic abuse by a woman towards a man.

Men's rights groups got a bad name because of the internet, and the manner of some of the organisations in the US. Both being breeding grounds for the bitter, hostile and the extreme. However, while people tend to pass off the extremists in feminism as being not terribly relevant, the extremists in male rights are held up as representative of the whole.

Which is woefully inaccurate. Are there bitter men? Definitely. Are they wrong to be bitter? That depends on their circumstances, but in many cases, society or the law have really screwed them. Most men's rights groups I've seen/heard are looking for genuine equality/parity with women's rights.. where it intersects with men. It's about removing the bias that exists in society to favour women. Alternatively to gain financial support or resources for men's issues, such as domestic abuse, or suicide, which are inadequate.. but if they were female issues, they'd gain serious support. The difference between how the two genders are treated is shocking at times.

After all, we were sold the idea that the objective was equality..

therapist3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171556#Comment_119171556

The apps have made women into sluts. It's now immediately obvious they want the cock from their match in them this will ultimately hurt women as the men pair up with younger women in the end

therapist3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172165#Comment_119172165

Welcome to equality, now she needs to pack her bags and leave

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172165#Comment_119172165

This guy is a disgusting pig, that poor girl

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172150#Comment_119172150

Do you mind me asking how old you are, just curious? A lot of ppl in their 20s n 30s n 40s are living at home now compared to our parents generation.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172337#Comment_119172337

Nope, the apps have just made easy prey out of women. Most women are looking for a relationship on these apps and most of the lads are just looking for the ride and are happy to play along until the girl either wises up or until she's ghosted

riclad

This is a very negative thread, I read a large amount of people meet up through social media or dating apps, people who are in serous relationships. I don't think theres a stigma using dating apps anymore. I think dating is tough in rural areas where there's a few places to go. Before the Internet people would put ads in newspapers , looking for dates,