Ghosted after a few good dates

Johnnytractors

sporina wrote: »

OP sorry that this has happened to you.. you deserve better - this reflects badly on her - not you! Shame on her.
I really think you should just delete her from your phone and move on.
I would not be giving her another chance.. your better than that - and she won't respect you for it either..
Maybe you need to be a bit more assertive. You said you have been burnt in the past.. well she has burn't you once - don't give her the chance to do it again...

I'd say that she has just chose someone else or something.. you said she has you blocked from chat etc.. that speaks volumes.. implies its deliberate..

Hold you head up.. realise you deserve better and move on.. go easy on yourself

And yes, as someone else said, when dating on line, you gotta have a tough skin.

Hey, all form on contact has been deleted. Last year I was with one who was 33 and was seeing her for 4 months, she wanted a child, site build a house, car and get engaged all within a year. I didn’t know her well enough to settle down just yet to commit to all that in life so she got the bullet

Johnnytractors

YellowLead wrote: »

Oh and please un follow her on Instagram!!!

Done

YellowLead

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey, all form on contact has been deleted. Last year I was with one who was 33 and was seeing her for 4 months, she wanted a child, site build a house, car and get engaged all within a year. I didn’t know her well enough to settle down just yet to commit to all that in life so she got the bullet

Well fair play to you. Jesus Christ no wonder guys are freaked out dating women in their 30s lol. I went on a date recently and the guy said to me you are the first women in her mid 30s that has not asked me whether or not I want kids on the first date!

pgj2015

YellowLead wrote: »

Well fair play to you. Jesus Christ no wonder guys are freaked out dating women in their 30s lol. I went on a date recently and the guy said to me you are the first women in her mid 30s that has not asked me whether or not I want kids on the first date!

some women in their 30's will settle with absolutely anyone.

Johnnytractors

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'm going to post this but don't want you to reply, just think about it.

Are you inexperienced or have you been single for a long time? Do you live alone?

Farming is solitary by nature and all our social outlets are restricted. I think you've gotten too invested in this woman, and far too soon. You were texting a lot, but very few in person meet ups.

She obviously didn't feel the same way. Her way of cutting ties was awful, but you shouldn't feel this upset after a few dates. Maybe take a break from online dating and work on your self esteem, you need to stop letting others decide your worth. You'll only sell yourself short.

Hey, thanks for your detailed message.

Single since December but was seeing one last year for a while, before that I was in a relationship for 5 years. Not boasting but I have always been in a relationship growing up. No, I’m renting a house with a few friends back at home. I’m outta home with over ten years so I am.

Farming really I’m only at it the last 4 years, before that I was an engineer for 7 years before I packed it in. I decided to get a qualification and work for awhile before going farming full time. I see my friends of mine who after school stayed at home to stay farming are gone as odd and quare as there own parents now. They have no time for anything else. I still manage to go away every year travelling for a 3-4 weeks on a holiday some where so I’m not devoted to farming full time. Once the crops are sown I can escape.

As you say, more than likely I got invested too soon. Lesson learnt and she obviously didn’t see it working out. Lesson learnt for the future

YellowLead

pgj2015 wrote: »

some women in their 30's will settle with absolutely anyone.

Absolutely. But the same goes for plenty of guys still single in their 40s/50s.

Keyzer

Normal One wrote: »

Maybe she's dead.

Bit rude to block him before dying though...

YellowLead

YellowLead wrote: »

Do you really see the not blocking on Instagram as a positive??? A - she might have forgotten he followed her. B - she doesn’t want to lose a follower, it’s a numbers game for some people, esp if they want to grow their list and start earning.

Blocking somebody with no word of explanation after a few weeks of daily chats and even a few in person meetings is unbelievably childish and disrespectful. I’d nearly forgive the having sex with the father thing over ghosting/blocking!

WhatsApp is private as well. So she’s stopped him from talking to her except publicly.

YellowLead

Johnnytractors wrote: »

As you say, more than likely I got invested too soon. Lesson learnt and she obviously didn’t see it working out. Lesson learnt for the future

Fair play. We’ve all had one experience like this no doubt - and once we learn from them it just makes us more resilient going forward which is a very good thing.

Don’t invest too soon is absolutely the best piece of advise with online dating so once you have copped that you’ll be grand.

Mimon

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Little apples and all that.
Just think with your brain and not your head if she ever gets back to you.

Many, and I mean many a man has been ghosted only for her to message later when she wanted a pick me up - then thought he could work for a shag rather than just saying on your bike.

Don't think you've read the room very well. OP doesn't come across as the sort of person just out for a shag.

YellowLead

[Deleted User] wrote: »

WhatsApp is private as well. So she’s stopped him from talking to her except publicly.

Yeah I think we all know that?

Ubbquittious

Ubbquittious wrote: »

You are paying for a piece of paper from MeHole's posse. If two people like each other they have no use for such a thing. If they ever wanted to get out of it they stand to lose a lot. Lawyers need to be paid and such. Better to just do without

There’s all kinds of benefits to being married.

Johnnytractors

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey, all form on contact has been deleted. Last year I was with one who was 33 and was seeing her for 4 months, she wanted a child, site build a house, car and get engaged all within a year. I didn’t know her well enough to settle down just yet to commit to all that in life so she got the bullet

Hopefully you didn’t ghost her.

Leg End Reject

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Not boasting but I have always been in a relationship growing up.

I see my friends of mine who after school stayed at home to stay farming are gone as odd and quare as there own parents now.

These bits stood out to me. Are you self-conscious about being single or viewed as odd? Do you rush in relationships because of this?

You should enjoy being single and meeting women for the experience, rather than where it might go. Worry about the latter after a few months.

Mango Joe

Sorry to hear that OP - Being ghosted after a good few dates is a real kick in the teeth because by then most people would be all starry-eyed and making plans for the future in the warm romantic glow etc.

Of course you feel terrible in the aftermath and wonder what you did, or should have done etc.

The reality is that you've dodged a bullet and thankfully are never going to have a house, mortgage, children and overall inseparable life with a piece of %&£* human being that's as shallow as saucer of piss and has the integrity of a Slug.

Start working on meeting a decent Woman who'll stand by you through thick and thin and have your back when you need support - Trust me, you've lost nothing of value and some other poor Guy is stuck with this sorry excuse of a person.

Feisar

Mango Joe wrote: »

Sorry to hear that OP - Being ghosted after a good few dates is a real kick in the teeth because by then most people would be all starry-eyed and making plans for the future in the warm romantic glow etc.

Of course you feel terrible in the aftermath and wonder what you did, or should have done etc.

The reality is that you've dodged a bullet and thankfully are never going to have a house, mortgage, children and overall inseparable life with a piece of %&£* human being that's as shallow as saucer of piss and has the integrity of a Slug.

Start working on meeting a decent Woman who'll stand by you through thick and thin and have your back when you need support.

Dude, chill out.

Johnnytractors

YellowLead wrote: »

Well fair play to you. Jesus Christ no wonder guys are freaked out dating women in their 30s lol. I went on a date recently and the guy said to me you are the first women in her mid 30s that has not asked me whether or not I want kids on the first date!

Oh it does happen. The majority of women do ask on the first date so they do. I have 7 sisters and I’m only boy and I have asked them about this too

Johnnytractors

Mimon wrote: »

Don't think you've read the room very well. OP doesn't come across as the sort of person just out for a shag.

Hey you are right. Never had I had a one night stand. I have more respect for women so I do. Maybe it’s the fact I have 7 sisters and I would hate if they got abused or used... I dunno

Feisar

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey you are right. Never had I had a one night stand. I have more respect for women so I do. Maybe it’s the fact I have 7 sisters and I would hate if they got abused or used... I dunno

In fairness sometimes, just the very odd time mind, women need the ould ride to!

Johnnytractors

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Hopefully you didn’t ghost her.

Hey, god no. I just told her straight out that it obvious that we wanted both different things in life and it was mutual really.

Johnnytractors

Leg End Reject wrote: »

These bits stood out to me. Are you self-conscious about being single or viewed as odd? Do you rush in relationships because of this?

You should enjoy being single and meeting women for the experience, rather than where it might go. Worry about the latter after a few months.

Hey, no I did like single life but when I in a relationship I do like to the relationship things as well, meeting, dating etc. I never commit to dating someone unless I find a spark or click with that person

Hammer89

YellowLead wrote: »

Do you really see the not blocking on Instagram as a positive??? A - she might have forgotten he followed her. B - she doesn’t want to lose a follower, it’s a numbers game for some people, esp if they want to grow their list and start earning.

It is a positive.

If she wanted to cut off contact with him forever then she would've blocked him on every possible platform. She didn't forget that he followed her and she isn't scared of losing a single follower. Neither of those theories carry much weight I don't think.

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

It is a positive.

If she wanted to cut off contact with him forever then she would've blocked him on every possible platform. She didn't forget that he followed her and she isn't scared of losing a single follower. Neither of those theories carry much weight I don't think.

She probably forgot.

sporina

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey, all form on contact has been deleted. Last year I was with one who was 33 and was seeing her for 4 months, she wanted a child, site build a house, car and get engaged all within a year. I didn’t know her well enough to settle down just yet to commit to all that in life so she got the bullet

hi ya thats good - now don't give her another thought - don't waste your energy on her. She has blocked you from 2 forms of contact.. that speaks for itself.
You sound like a sound guy - and assertive enough which is great to hear... its a bad reflection on her - not you..

take care.

Wallet Inspector

Ubbquittious wrote: »

It has nothing to do with that. If you're so good at it you certainly have no need for MeHole's expensive piece of paper


Society has changed a lot anyway since the concept of marriage was invented. Back in the olden days people depended on their partner more heavily. There more chores to do and they took a lot more time. A lot of people would have been well and truly stuffed without someone to bring in the turf, cut logs, do the washing and cook the dinner. Now you can happily sit behind your laptop ordering all your food online, house heats up at the press of a button, there's a machine to do all the cleaning. So now the partner only exists for the shag and a bit of company.

And because they love each other. I agree you don't need the piece of paper for that but it confers more legal recognition than not doing so - important to those having children. That's changing though as far as I know.

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Ah shur tis a bit of an outdated romantic notion, invented with the best of intentions of course but sadly society has become a lot more shallow. People like the €30,000 party, the romantic idea behind the whole thing... God bless em. Then split up in a years time when it turns out yerman wasn't finished tindering yet.



Maybe they can fully automate the process where you can get married by each scanning a QR code and divorced by scanning a different one. Would save a lot of heartache and prevent a lot of the legal profession from getting easy money

You keep talking about the bad stories as if they're the only outcome, when they're the exception. The huge wedding isn't necessary.

pgj2015 wrote: »

some women in their 30's will settle with absolutely anyone.

I thought they were really fussy?

yourdeadwright

No offence OP but the whole fact that thread is here probably vindicates her in her actions

Sounds like you came on to strong and scared her off, Maybe she thought you seemed desperate

She possible thought the easiest thing to do was ghost you and seen as you where that upset over it you started a thread she may have been correct,

Learn from and next time take it easy and don't go in head first so quickly
Its ok to be enthralled with someone it happens to us all but sometimes it helps to keep that to yourself at the start creates a bit of intrigue ,

Of course I could be talking total nonsense but you will know yourself if you came on a bit to strong ,

California Dreamer

yourdeadwright wrote: »

No offence OP but the whole fact that thread is here probably vindicates her in her actions

Sounds like you came on to strong and scared her off, Maybe she thought you seemed desperate

She possible thought the easiest thing to do was ghost you and seen as you where that upset over it you started a thread she may have been correct,

Learn from and next time take it easy and don't go in head first so quickly
Its ok to be enthralled with someone it happens to us all but sometimes it helps to keep that to yourself at the start creates a bit of intrigue ,

Of course I could be talking total nonsense but you will know yourself if you came on a bit to strong ,

Did you bother to read the previous 14 pages?

murpho999

YellowLead wrote: »

Fair play. We’ve all had one experience like this no doubt - and once we learn from them it just makes us more resilient going forward which is a very good thing.

Don’t invest too soon is absolutely the best piece of advise with online dating so once you have copped that you’ll be grand.

Why do people distinguish "online-dating"?

When you meet someone online and then meet them a few times then you are dating them and not online dating and I don't see then how things are any different to couples who meet through other methods.

murpho999

California Dreamer wrote: »

Did you bother to read the previous 14 pages?

Go to control panel and change number of posts per page.

I'm on page 5 for this thread not 14.:cool:

Fandymo

badabing106 wrote: »

Have a few beers on weekend and then start sending messages to see if you can rekindle anything

The later the better, and think quantity not quality. The more you send, the later it is, the more she'll know you're into her.