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When will Jesus return?

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  • 23-08-2019 8:39pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭


    It’s been 2019 years now, surely due an appearance?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭BDI


    He probably created a load of planets.

    Probably like a big bag of marbles to him that he grew out of a thousand years ago, in some box in an attic just like Andy’s toys.


  • Registered Users Posts: 927 ✭✭✭BuboBubo




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    Any century now.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭MrMiata


    I'm sure he's cooler friends than us.
    We're like the lads he met during the first few days of college vs the ones you went to playschool with.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭greencap


    Back next Wednesday, he took a few days, took the kids to Waterford.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 18,515 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    knockers84 wrote: »
    It’s been 2019 years now, surely due an appearance?

    Of course to “return” one would need to believe there was an initial visit ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭Mr.Maroon


    I reckon he'll start ahead of Aguero on Sunday.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    If your imaginary friend was born in the year 0 and allegedly died 33 years later then he's only been gone for 1986 years. Not 2019.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,426 ✭✭✭✭odyssey06


    If Jesus returns its more likely to be an advanced alien race called the Vorlons trying to win us over to their side in an intergalactic war...

    "To follow knowledge like a sinking star..." (Tennyson's Ulysses)



  • Registered Users Posts: 11,205 ✭✭✭✭Say my name


    Do Christian burials face west if they are east of Jerusalem?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 587 ✭✭✭Redneck Reject


    Well if you are of the Christian faith, and read and understood the Bible and Scripture. You would know only Jesus knows of the day and hour of it. Instead of making a post asking people if they know. Truth is no one knows.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,471 ✭✭✭7 Seconds...


    this-is-why-jesus-hasnt-returned-he-cant-move-til-the-32390489.png


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,298 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    We don't know the day or the hour of his return. Only God knows that


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,215 ✭✭✭khalessi


    Im thinking after a nice lunch. cos lets face it supper didnt work out for him


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,024 ✭✭✭Carry


    Well if you are of the Christian faith, and read and understood the Bible and Scripture. You would know only Jesus knows of the day and hour of it. Instead of making a post asking people if they know. Truth is no one knows.

    So it's like when the plumber says he's definitely there tomorrow?


  • Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭Joe Kane


    He's supposed to be very bad on the sneachta these days.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,908 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    In the year 7510
    If God's a-coming, he ought to make it by then
    Maybe he'll look around himself and say
    “Guess it's time for the judgement day!”


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,235 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    8 year olds dude.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,158 ✭✭✭frag420


    Saw him this morning...in my toast!


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    He arrived back 17 years ago and proclaimed he was Jesus Christ in the carpark of a Supermercado near Madrid and was arrested and sectioned in a psych ward as no one claimed him and he had no ID on him...which makes perfect sense when you think of it.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,202 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Nosnon wrote: »
    If your imaginary friend was born in the year 0 and allegedly died 33 years later then he's only been gone for 1986 years. Not 2019.

    So is it 1986 again now? The producers of reeling in the years are not gonna be happy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 508 ✭✭✭d8491prj5boyvg


    Shouldn't this be in the euro 2020 forum? He'll be back to play in goals for Italy. After all, Jesus saves.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,497 ✭✭✭nkl12xtw5goz70


    Archeron wrote: »
    So is it 1986 again now?

    Yes, and I'm eagerly awaiting the return of Marty McFly.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,768 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    He was in town last weekend.
    Suppin on Virgin Martinis like a boss


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,596 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    khalessi wrote: »
    Im thinking after a nice lunch. cos lets face it supper didnt work out for him

    :pac::pac: At least we'll know it's pointless killing him again.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Nosnon wrote: »
    If your imaginary friend was born in the year 0 and allegedly died 33 years later then he's only been gone for 1986 years. Not 2019.

    2033 is going to be mahoosive! on the second coming front.


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    When he is good and ready


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Well if you are of the Christian faith, and read and understood the Bible and Scripture. You would know only Jesus knows of the day and hour of it. Instead of making a post asking people if they know. Truth is no one knows.

    Does his omnipotent father have any inkling?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,542 ✭✭✭Montage of Feck


    From the book of revolutions I'm sure they mentioned the two girls one cup thing:

    "And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:"

    🙈🙉🙊



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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,215 ✭✭✭khalessi


    He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! Now, go away!


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