What's the etiquette here??

Hotblack Desiato

Next time you might try a quick jog and a sneaky "Paua Radcliffe" at the roadside.

It feels like I've a transverse lie or something, not a comfortable position with a Frank Costello from Tony's Bistro on North Main St (excellent value on the all day breakfasts BTW) with the pressure build up in the headspace from said fry up.

MikeOxsgreen

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

It feels like I've a transverse lie or something, not a comfortable position with a Frank Costello from Tony's Bistro on North Main St (excellent value on the all day breakfasts BTW) with the pressure build up in the headspace from said fry up.

Alarm bells started ringing at the mention of Tony's bistro. If you were looking to suffer gastrointestinal distress then you dined at the right establishment.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Alarm bells started ringing at the mention of Tony's bistro. If you were looking to suffer gastrointestinal distress then you dined at the right establishment.

In fairness, never really had an issue.

I was crowning strolling over on Castle St. though, might have contributed.
Maybe some "gastrointestinal distress" in the shape of a few camplyobacter might break the dead lock

Brendan Bendar

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

In fairness, never really had an issue.

I was crowning strolling over on Castle St. though, might have contributed.
Maybe some "gastrointestinal distress" in the shape of a few camplyobacter might break the dead lock

Quite correct on the pears Oxgreen.

Arrived down at the club last weekend and as soon as I parked the slab, knew I was in trouble.

Had taken on a few pears and as there was plenty of time before tee off reckoned I would ‘blow the guts’ as I wouldn’t last till the shïthouse on course.

Went in and ...jaysus.. there’s little Agnatha swabbing the place out.

No one else there...and the badge is three fingers dilated

Anyway on the putting green saw her heading off and barely got the strides clear of ground zero before spraying a cloud of amber arse soup all over the furniture.

Hadn’t even time to wipe up and had to head for the tee with a good crust of hardened midden on the badge at hole 6.

Did not contend in the comp. needless to say and heard a lad saying in the locker room complaining about the state of shïtters after the round.

Fuhherking animals ,he says, have a look at the end cubicle, that person needs help

fuerte1976

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Alarm bells started ringing at the mention of Tony's bistro. If you were looking to suffer gastrointestinal distress then you dined at the right establishment.

Was just about to post something similar until I read your reply N.
Guts would be in flitters before you'd push back from the table there..
Didn't stop me frequently visiting the place tho over the course of a decade.

Maybe that's what's wrong with me...

Brendan Bendar

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Quite correct on the pears Oxgreen.

Arrived down at the club last weekend and as soon as I parked the slab, knew I was in trouble.

Had taken on a few pears and as there was plenty of time before tee off reckoned I would ‘blow the guts’ as I wouldn’t last till the shïthouse on course.

Went in and ...jaysus.. there’s little Agnatha swabbing the place out.

No one else there...and the badge is three fingers dilated

Anyway on the putting green saw her heading off and barely got the strides clear of ground zero before spraying a cloud of amber arse soup all over the furniture.

Hadn’t even time to wipe up and had to head for the tee with a good crust of hardened midden on the badge at hole 6.

Did not contend in the comp. needless to say and heard a lad saying in the locker room complaining about the state of shïtters after the round.

Fuhherking animals ,he says, have a look at the end cubicle, that person needs help

Youre a brave man taking on the front 9 with a few pears on board Brendan.
I wouldn't approach the 19th if I knew there were a few pears working their way through. Nothing worse than a sudden eruption in plaid duds, as you regale the boys with a demonstration of teaching young lady members putting technique.

Gael23

How does a man deal with bits of Spaghetti that get stuck in the trapdoor?

Gael23

Gael23 wrote: »

How does a man deal with bits of Spaghetti that get stuck in the trapdoor?

Are you sure its spaghetti?

Just inside the door... come out at night?

Nevin Parsnipp

Any "movement" in them. ?

Could be worums.......?

tgdaly

7,000 posts lads well done, 70% of the way to a part 2 thread

Bullocks

tgdaly wrote: »

7,000 posts lads well done, 70% of the way to a part 2 thread

There will be a second thread , just like poo you can't stop it coming!

Lewis_Benson

tgdaly wrote: »

7,000 posts lads well done, 70% of the way to a part 2 thread

There's always garuntee of a 'Number 2" with this thread.

fuerte1976

Pity J Flash isn't around to see it fester and stew it's way to chapter 2..

tgdaly

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Pity J Flash isn't around to see it fester and stew it's way to chapter 2..

Maybe we should incorporate J Flash into the title of th next thread "Toilet Etiquette Part 2: The JohnnyFlash memorial thread"

Lewis_Benson

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Pity J Flash isn't around to see it fester and stew it's way to chapter 2..

Oh he's around alright...

Hector Savage

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

The **** obviously had first hand experience of it. Must have worked for the state or at least a semi state. My guess is he was a general operative working for Bord na Mona or summat like that.

Do you work for Bord na Mona ?

Hector Savage

Deleted User wrote: »

A trend has emerged at work lately among the younger lads, when the traps are all occupied they stand in line outside the cubicles like they were in a nightclub. I myself would just leave and let whoever was in there finish up in peace and come back when the coast (and fent) is clear. There's nothing worse than crapping under pressure.
I believe this is a breach of etiquette, what do the esteemed members of this thread think?

Christ, such an awkward thing to do too, I blame social media and phones, peoples social skills just aren;t developed anymore ..

EmmetSpiceland

tgdaly wrote: »

Maybe we should incorporate J Flash into the title of th next thread "Toilet Etiquette Part 2: The JohnnyFlash memorial thread"

Should arrange a 21-flush salute.

Sardonicat

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Should arrange a 21-flush salute.

What about a 21 toot salute?

Hector Savage

Hector Savage wrote: »

Christ, such an awkward thing to do too, I blame social media and phones, peoples social skills just aren;t developed anymore ..

Probably weren't wearing socks either

fuerte1976

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Oh he's around alright...

I don't doubt he is...

Speaking of 'deceased', there's something dead inside me this day...

Dual wheels

Had a couple of bananas this evening out of convenience japers they went through me

Bullocks

Dual wheels wrote: »

Had a couple of bananas this evening out of convenience japers they went through me

I thought bananas usually went slow through the bends?

Bullocks

Bullocks wrote: »

I thought bananas usually went slow through the bends?

Bananas/pears the yin/yang of bowel movements.

That chap must have been in desperate straights if they went through. Or else they were rotten

Brendan Bendar

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

Bananas/pears the yin/yang of bowel movements.

That chap must have been in desperate straights if they went through. Or else they were rotten

Well used to rotten or ‘blown’ produce yourself Oxgreen.

Fair auld ‘ coating’ of bag brie and muzzle mites on the back of the ‘EezyFitt’ Dockers.

Whites Laundry rejected them back in the lockdown and called in pest control in haz gear.

I’ll use this post to issue a general warning about Xmas Pud, tends to bind the midden and make it difficult to discharge, so a few pears before bed and she should fly out like burst bag of cheap cat food around 0600 hrs.

Brendan Bendar

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Well used to rotten or ‘blown’ produce yourself Oxgreen.

Fair auld ‘ coating’ of bag brie and muzzle mites on the back of the ‘EezyFitt’ Dockers.

Whites Laundry rejected them back in the lockdown and called in pest control in haz gear.

I’ll use this post to issue a general warning about Xmas Pud, tends to bind the midden and make it difficult to discharge, so a few pears before bed and she should fly out like burst bag of cheap cat food around 0600 hrs.

Always keep a blackening banana in the fruit bowl for those post 20oz T-bones, rather than having to shove in some crap vegetables to ease it along.

Pudding can be very sticky all right coming around the final furlong before the home straight. Lash in the brandy and whiskey into a bowl.Toss the raisins and mixed peel in the bin, and enjoy.

Hotblack Desiato

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

I’ll use this post to issue a general warning about Xmas Pud, tends to bind the midden and make it difficult to discharge, so a few pears before bed and she should fly out like burst bag of cheap cat food around 0600 hrs.

That's a bit of a problem if you don't wake up until 0700.

But yes, very important to keep things moving along during the next two weeks or so, increased food intake can lead to great distress otherwise. I don't know how non-stout drinkers cope tbh.

Purple Mountain

Gael23 wrote: »

How does a man deal with bits of Spaghetti that get stuck in the trapdoor?

Vermox.

Dual wheels

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

Bananas/pears the yin/yang of bowel movements.

That chap must have been in desperate straights if they went through. Or else they were rotten

Ah they were fairly rotten alright