What's the etiquette here??

IAMAMORON · 04-12-2020 7:03pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

There's no shíte going into the Liffey -

Assumption is the mother of all phuck ups.

I wouldn't bet on it.

I have often had to spray a load in when around the Drawberry beds. Two arms around a tree and hope wrens nest handles the rest.

I am still sleeping at night.

Gael23 · 06-12-2020 1:01am

Hector Savage wrote: »

Is blood considered a bad pollutant ? surely chite is worse ?

Human excrement on its own is nit really a pollutant, Its all the other stuff we send down the pipes such as bleach to destroy the evidence of dropping a load does damage

Brendan Bendar · 06-12-2020 7:56am

Just left a load like a turkey crown in the ‘downstairs’.

Might let her steep for a bit.

Slideways · 06-12-2020 8:04am

Leaving one to soak or a dribble of piss on the toilet once a month keeps her indoors on her toes.

Let’s her know how good she has it and if the griping were to occur you could run the tinker spec all year round.

IAMAMORON · 06-12-2020 8:26am

Spent most of yesterday on a full scale clearout. Broke the seal early enough and it just kept on happening. I feel so content and happy with myself this morning, it literally is like solving a problem.

I was considering heading up the mountains and spaying a few around the woods but I just realised that they will be covered in families as today is a Sunday. If I start doing any Yeti impressions or acting like a bear I could cause various levels of consternation. I might leave it until Tuesday to frighten the Squirrels and Deer.

I tell you one thing if you come across a big Stag around Scarr or Luggala give him a wide birth, I wouldn't fancy getting a root in the hole from one of those antlers. Phucker could have you on a colostomy bag till the summer, no thanks.

fuerte1976 · 07-12-2020 9:55am

Good god, made a pig of myself over the weekend. Over indulgence in every meaning of the term..

We could see 'harpooning' again with what is en route to the sorting facility this morning!

Nevin Parsnipp · 07-12-2020 6:47pm

Took to the Golf Course today for first round in over six weeks ...not a good outcome ...but only to be expected arter a long lay orf.

Visited the club house kludgies post round and blew out a vile, rank smelling arseful of sour sh1te .....left a few on the rim ...bit like my putting.

That's life though ...innit ..?

Brendan Bendar · 07-12-2020 7:00pm

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Took to the Golf Course today for first round in over six weeks ...not a good outcome ...but only to be expected arter a long lay orf.

Visited the club house kludgies post round and blew out a vile, rank smelling arseful of sour sh1te .....left a few on the rim ...bit like my putting.

That's life though ...innit ..?

Fair auld ‘whack’ off the mustard coloured ‘Eezie-Fit’ chinos after the event,Parsnipp, I’d opine.

I’d check the waist band when you get home, pal, seems one or two dollops might have gone in ‘off the crossbar’.

Check the back cheeks of the chinos too, cock, few stains like walked in over ripe plums are often apparent after such events as you have described.

Black bin dude, you won’t shift those bad boys especially with heated seats.

Lewis_Benson · 08-12-2020 2:00am

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Fair auld ‘whack’ off the mustard coloured ‘Eezie-Fit’ chinos after the event,Parsnipp, I’d opine.

I’d check the waist band when you get home, pal, seems one or two dollops might have gone in ‘off the crossbar’.

Check the back cheeks of the chinos too, cock, few stains like walked in over ripe plums are often apparent after such events as you have described.

Black bin dude, you won’t shift those bad boys especially with heated seats.

No heated seats in a paddy spec Renault fluence.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 08-12-2020 5:00pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Fair auld ‘whack’ off the mustard coloured ‘Eezie-Fit’ chinos after the event,Parsnipp, I’d opine.

I’d check the waist band when you get home, pal, seems one or two dollops might have gone in ‘off the crossbar’.

Check the back cheeks of the chinos too, cock, few stains like walked in over ripe plums are often apparent after such events as you have described.

Black bin dude, you won’t shift those bad boys especially with heated seats.

Good advice there Brenner and spoken like a man with experience.

But didn't think you were one to be throwing out soiled kaks? You're well known as the fat lad with the skiddy yellow Y fronts in the changing rooms of the Belcamp pitch and putt club. You get at least four wears out of each pair. Inside out and back to front. Pong of rotten mushrooms and wet dog off them.

Brenner the lad that throws his leg up on the bench of the dressing room and gives the cluster a good seeing to with a towel in a sawing action. Flecks of dried sh1te and dingbats flying everywhere.

Brendan Bendar · 08-12-2020 5:22pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Good advice there Brenner and spoken like a man with experience.

But didn't think you were one to be throwing out soiled kaks? You're well known as the fat lad with the skiddy yellow Y fronts in the changing rooms of the Belcamp pitch and putt club. You get at least four wears out of each pair. Inside out and back to front. Pong of rotten mushrooms and wet dog off them.

Brenner the lad that throws his leg up on the bench of the dressing room and gives the cluster a good seeing to with a towel in a sawing action. Flecks of dried sh1te and dingbats flying everywhere.

‘Fraid you’re a bit mistaken there Pat.

Generous spraying of Lynx Africa and polished with a coating of deVichy ‘Salve de Majeur’ .

Have the fcukers glinting like ping-pong balls after a Bankok ‘Monster Pop-Out Contest’

Best of five over the line and over the crossbar.

Two players in the 40 to 50 age group disqualified when signs of ‘stitching’ discovered.

The late John Flash apparently was an aficionado of the sport.

Had a ‘stable’ of Japanese High Schoolers in training its reported.

Uhmmmm..................

Brendan Bendar · 08-12-2020 10:08pm

Strong bang of ‘brown love’ about this thread recently.

Just sayin……………

Nitrogan · 08-12-2020 10:27pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Strong bang of ‘brown love’ about this thread recently.

Just sayin……………

Is a nice city, but four days is way too long there.

The good thing is though, it is about 60 minutes by train from Vienna and I believe there is even a ferry on the Danube between the two cities, so it is very very easy to do both cities in one visit.

Flights with Ryanair to Bratislava can be really cheap as well?

Brendan Bendar · 08-12-2020 10:37pm

Nitrogan wrote: »

Is a nice city, but four days is way too long there.

The good thing is though, it is about 60 minutes by train from Vienna and I believe there is even a ferry on the Danube between the two cities, so it is very very easy to do both cities in one visit.

Flights with Ryanair to Bratislava can be really cheap as well?

:rolleyes:

Hotblack Desiato · 09-12-2020 5:23pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Human excrement on its own is nit really a pollutant

Afraid not, the little microscopic beasties that break down our leavings (just a continuation of what they do in our guts, really) need oxygen to get their work done, ensuring they're well looked after is part of the process at all shít factories worthy of the name (not the ones which basically just filter out most of the johnnies and pipe everything else out to sea.) Otherwise your local watercourse turns into a stagnant brown lifeless mess... similar to what your bowl looked like that time you 'forgot' to pull the chain for a week.

Gael23 · 09-12-2020 5:49pm

Do shït plants have employees or is it all automated?
I hope no Worker has to sniff what I just sent down the pipes

SEPT 23 1989 · 09-12-2020 5:55pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Do shït plants have employees or is it all automated?
I hope no Worker has to sniff what I just sent down the pipes

they would be nose blind

Lewis_Benson · 09-12-2020 6:26pm

Gael23 wrote: »

Do shït plants have employees or is it all automated?
I hope no Worker has to sniff what I just sent down the pipes

Yep, auld Paudgie and Jimmy work down there, ex council lads who got laid off when the. Councils stopped collecting the bins in the 90s.

Brendan Bendar · 09-12-2020 6:40pm

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Yep, auld Paudgie and Jimmy work down there, ex council lads who got laid off when the. Councils stopped collecting the bins in the 90s.

Good lads, did they still hit the boozers of a Friday at around 11am when suddenly they were able to do the full ‘round’ with half the crew in half the time.

Leave the pots in the pubs splattered full of slurry ,as the ‘breakfast rolls’ started to ‘crown out’ around 1430 before staggering home for a kip and wash before hitting ‘ The Sheaf of Wheat’ or some other establishment like ‘The Cuckoos Nest’

No surprise she were privatized,in this posters opinion.

Bullocks · 09-12-2020 6:59pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Good lads, did they still hit the boozers of a Friday at around 11am when suddenly they were able to do the full ‘round’ with half the crew in half the time.

Leave the pots in the pubs splattered full of slurry ,as the ‘breakfast rolls’ started to ‘crown out’ around 1430 before staggering home for a kip and wash before hitting ‘ The Sheaf of Wheat’ or some other establishment like ‘The Cuckoos Nest’

No surprise she were privatized,in this posters opinion.

It's posts like this that make me think of the late great JF. He could put great ways on the civil servants....

09-12-2020 11:59pm

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Yep, auld Paudgie and Jimmy work down there, ex council lads who got laid off when the. Councils stopped collecting the bins in the 90s.

Surely they're all Irish Water lads now, chartered engineers and the like, in business suitsand helmets scraping butchers turds and Johnnies off the splatter baffles in the sh1t farms?

Pintman Paddy Losty · 10-12-2020 12:31am

Bullocks wrote: »

It's posts like this that make me think of the late great JF. He could put great ways on the civil servants....

The **** obviously had first hand experience of it. Must have worked for the state or at least a semi state. My guess is he was a general operative working for Bord na Mona or summat like that.

gerrybbadd · 10-12-2020 11:31am

Gael23 wrote: »

Do shït plants have employees or is it all automated?
I hope no Worker has to sniff what I just sent down the pipes

Well, the "big knifes" aren't going to take themselves out when a footlong burrito speckled with corn comes flushing down the pipes. There are just some things that need the human judgment, that automation hasn't quite caught up to yet.

Hector Savage · 10-12-2020 12:14pm

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Took to the Golf Course today for first round in over six weeks ...not a good outcome ...but only to be expected arter a long lay orf.

Visited the club house kludgies post round and blew out a vile, rank smelling arseful of sour sh1te .....left a few on the rim ...bit like my putting.

That's life though ...innit ..?

You mean the bowl ? surely not the seat ?

Brendan Bendar · 10-12-2020 4:45pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

You mean the bowl ? surely not the seat ?

Lad likes to fire ‘from the shotgun’ not ‘under center’, I’m told.

Gets better manifold pressure from the crouched position rather than seated.

A half-baked arsefull of sour scutther can indeed ‘flare’ shortly after leaving the muzzle and spray a wide footprint with loose midden.

‘An uncontained engine incident’ to quote aviation investigators.

Can do a lot of damage.

Gael23 · 10-12-2020 5:19pm

gerrybbadd wrote: »

Well, the "big knifes" aren't going to take themselves out when a footlong burrito speckled with corn comes flushing down the pipes. There are just some things that need the human judgment, that automation hasn't quite caught up to yet.

And then the chemical fumes from the bottle of Jif you poured into the bowl to destroy the evidence of your evacuation

Hotblack Desiato · 10-12-2020 6:04pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Lad likes to fire ‘from the shotgun’ not ‘under center’, I’m told.

Gets better manifold pressure from the crouched position rather than seated.

A half-baked arsefull of sour scutther can indeed ‘flare’ shortly after leaving the muzzle and spray a wide footprint with loose midden.

‘An uncontained engine incident’ to quote aviation investigators.

Can do a lot of damage.

Like going clay pigeon shooting with a sawn-off shotgun.

10-12-2020 8:52pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Like going clay pigeon shooting with a sawn-off shotgun.

You might hit one, but you won't break it.

Hovering in the FÁS facilities, to avoid plum wash, a chaps long range "approach play" game needed both precision and accuracy. No point being precise, but inaccurate leaving soil slide down the exterior of the porcelain onto the floor in the pre Zbigniew days for Margaret. Likewise accuracy, but no precision left the facilities in a poor state for the next patron.

Worst of all were the car maintenance lads, neither accurate nor precise. Cattle would cause less damage

Slideways · 11-12-2020 2:13am

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

You might hit one, but you won't break it.

Hovering in the FÁS facilities, to avoid plum wash, a chaps long range "approach play" game needed both precision and accuracy. No point being precise, but inaccurate leaving soil slide down the exterior of the porcelain onto the floor in the pre Zbigniew days for Margaret. Likewise accuracy, but no precision left the facilities in a poor state for the next patron.

Worst of all were the car maintenance lads, neither accurate nor precise. Cattle would cause less damage

No need to tar all mechanics with the same brush.

I recall attending the facility in Belgard as a young gossun from the sticks. There was a fella from Dublin Bus there. The thickest lad who ever managed to tie shoe laces. He was from Dolphins Barn if I remember correctly and had a horse as a pet. This fcuker would lay some of the foulest smelling slurry in the bowl and just leave it there to fester. Dympna would be in there scrubbing, sometimes would get a wire brush at it if it was left over the weekend.

Dunno what this bucko was eating but it certainly wasn’t hairy bacon with floury spuds and cabbage

Brendan Bendar · 11-12-2020 6:26am

Slideways wrote: »

No need to tar all mechanics with the same brush.

I recall attending the facility in Belgard as a young gossun from the sticks. There was a fella from Dublin Bus there. The thickest lad who ever managed to tie shoe laces. He was from Dolphins Barn if I remember correctly and had a horse as a pet. This fcuker would lay some of the foulest smelling slurry in the bowl and just leave it there to fester. Dympna would be in there scrubbing, sometimes would get a wire brush at it if it was left over the weekend.

Dunno what this bucko was eating but it certainly wasn’t hairy bacon with floury spuds and cabbage

Horse feed probably......with the ‘good’ whiskas for desert.

What's the etiquette here??

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