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What's the etiquette here??

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    #5192
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,563 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Just got “splashed” right up at the back of the ballbag, right where it meets the “barse”.

    Everything about it felt “wrong”. The shock, the trickle down, the drying...everything.

    You never give much thought to the back of the “bag”, perhaps this is the wake up call I need to pay more attention. I’ll give it some extra suds in the shower, it’ll be a start at least.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



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    #5193
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    sligojoek wrote: »
    The laptop waffle is another one.

    Or if you are a golfer then unload into the golf shoes of some cünt who didn’t give you a gimme or called you up on some obscure rule while playing. Wait until he has left the locker room and headed into the bar for a pint.


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    #5194
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Just got “splashed” right up at the back of the ballbag, right where it meets the “barse”.

    Everything about it felt “wrong”. The shock, the trickle down, the drying...everything.

    You never give much thought to the back of the “bag”, perhaps this is the wake up call I need to pay more attention. I’ll give it some extra suds in the shower, it’ll be a start at least.
    Nothing more annoying then cold water splashing up on any area of the hole, always seems like a lot of it too ....


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    #5195
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Or if you are a golfer then unload into the golf shoes of some cünt who didn’t give you a gimme or called you up on some obscure rule while playing. Wait until he has left the locker room and headed into the bar for a pint.

    Bit of top decking in his gaff is yer only man too ..


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    #5196
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,138 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Or if you are a golfer then unload into the golf shoes of some cünt who didn’t give you a gimme or called you up on some obscure rule while playing. Wait until he has left the locker room and headed into the bar for a pint.

    John, much more effective, haze a sour scutthery loose load on your golf towel.

    Then shake her into the golf bag, down each club tube, or aperture.

    Will cost you a towel, but guaranteed the bag will never be used again.


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    #5197
    fuerte1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 692 ✭✭✭fuerte1976


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    John, much more effective, haze a sour scutthery loose load on your golf towel.

    Then shake her into the golf bag, down each club tube, or aperture.

    Will cost you a towel, but guaranteed the bag will never be used again.

    Ah, ha ha ha ha- ffs!
    Lol


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    #5198
    Rodney Bathgate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    Reading the golfing suggestions, just wondering if anyone on here has ever taken a dump in a Pringles tube?

    (I haven’t to date.)


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    #5199
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Rodney Bathgate wrote: »
    Reading the golfing suggestions, just wondering if anyone on here has ever taken a dump in a Pringles tube?

    (I haven’t to date.)

    Why would you need to do so; Roddy?


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    #5200
    Cartman78
    Registered Users Posts: 9,629 ✭✭✭Cartman78


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Why would you need to do so; Roddy?

    To make the Pringles taste nicer maybe....:confused:


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    #5201
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,122 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Just got “splashed” right up at the back of the ballbag, right where it meets the “barse”.

    Everything about it felt “wrong”. The shock, the trickle down, the drying...everything.

    You never give much thought to the back of the “bag”, perhaps this is the wake up call I need to pay more attention. I’ll give it some extra suds in the shower, it’ll be a start at least.

    Give the liathróidí a check for the oul' ball cancer when you're down there. Can't be too careful.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #5202
    Sober Crappy Chemis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 461 ✭✭Sober Crappy Chemis


    Rodney Bathgate wrote: »
    Reading the golfing suggestions, just wondering if anyone on here has ever taken a dump in a Pringles tube?

    (I haven’t to date.)

    Once you plop you can't stop.


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    #5203
    Rodney Bathgate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Why would you need to do so; Roddy?

    Same reason you would need to take a dump in a golf bag I suppose.


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    #5204
    Cartman78
    Registered Users Posts: 9,629 ✭✭✭Cartman78


    All this recent golf scat chat reminds me that the early days of this thread heavily featured carvery lunch eating golfing enthusiasts.

    From what I remember, those lads seemed to spend their lives on the course or on the throne all whilst sporting beige chinos.

    Are these guys still around or have they put bags in the shed so to speak??


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    #5205
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Cartman78 wrote: »
    All this recent golf scat chat reminds me that the early days of this thread heavily featured carvery lunch eating golfing enthusiasts.

    From what I remember, those lads seemed to spend their lives on the course or on the throne all whilst sporting beige chinos.

    Are these guys still around or have they put bags in the shed so to speak??

    Mustard chinos, pal. With an easy stretch waistband. Still around. The golf and the carvery lunches are on hold for a while though.

    Surely everyone visits the throne at least once a day? Apart from some of the extremely ‘bound up’ posters you’d find on Boards. Riddled with IBS or constipation you’d imagine.


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    #5206
    Ush1
    Registered Users Posts: 11,464 ✭✭✭✭Ush1


    Rodney Bathgate wrote: »
    Same reason you would need to take a dump in a golf bag I suppose.

    I haven't but in a previous post on this thread I detailed how a mate of mine took a ****e in a drinks cup after a long night of drugs.


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    #5207
    Ush1
    Registered Users Posts: 11,464 ✭✭✭✭Ush1


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Mustard chinos, pal. With an easy stretch waistband. Still around. The golf and the carvery lunches are on hold for a while though.

    Surely everyone visits the throne at least once a day? Apart from some of the extremely ‘bound up’ posters you’d find on Boards. Riddled with IBS or constipation you’d imagine.

    The current affairs forum is a hotspot.


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    #5208
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,122 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    IBS = Irritable Boardsie Syndrome :)

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #5209
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Nerves are still at me and as a result each morning I'm spouting a scutthery load of sour arse slurry to the back of the pewter ... I just cleaned the jacks yesterday too, pebble dashed ti fuq now!!!


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    #5210
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,138 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    Nerves are still at me and as a result each morning I'm spouting a scutthery load of sour arse slurry to the back of the pewter ... I just cleaned the jacks yesterday too, pebble dashed ti fuq now!!!

    Handful of lime into her is your man, just don’t ‘Blow’ if there’s loose lime on the sides of the pewter, friend of mine got half the hole scalded off him and had to injest litres of Sunkist Prune juice to soften the discharge.

    Took two weeks to clear up.


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    #5211
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    lime ??

    Would that not strip the porcelain ?


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    #5212
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,138 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    lime ??

    Would that not strip the porcelain ?

    It would, but shure, fcuk it. .


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    #5213
    padd b1975
    Registered Users Posts: 10,707 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    B&Q do an excellent kit should one find the hopper resembling a builders mug.

    Scourer, disposable gloves and a generous bottle of some syrupy cleaner which will make quick work of the most stubborn.... eh.... tea stains.

    https://www.diy.com/departments/hg-toilet-cleaner/1284903_BQ.prd


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    #5214
    NeinNeinNein
    Registered Users Posts: 5,694 ✭✭✭NeinNeinNein


    padd b1975 wrote: »
    B&Q do an excellent kit should one find the hopper resembling a builders mug.

    Scourer, disposable gloves and a generous bottle of some syrupy cleaner which will make quick work of the most stubborn.... eh.... tea stains.

    https://www.diy.com/departments/hg-toilet-cleaner/1284903_BQ.prd
    Would that be any good for golf clubs?


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    #5215
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Boffins in Stanford have invented a toilet that recognises you based on a scan of your butthole.

    3-B9-E2321-0423-4-E29-ABB7-AABD5-F25-B045.png

    7-CECAFE3-04-FE-4372-B268-CCD6-D444-D653.jpg

    B62919-C6-04-B7-496-B-BAE6-477-D2-EBB9-B32.png


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    #5216
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,122 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Arse recognition cameras. Jeezus.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #5217
    padd b1975
    Registered Users Posts: 10,707 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    NeinNeinNein wrote: »
    Would that be any good for golf clubs?

    I can't see why not, as long as the grooves meet R&A regulations.


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    #5218
    Sober Crappy Chemis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 461 ✭✭Sober Crappy Chemis


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Boffins in Stanford have invented a toilet that recognises you based on a scan of your butthole.

    B62919-C6-04-B7-496-B-BAE6-477-D2-EBB9-B32.png

    I think this lockdown has to end soon as that picture is giving me ‘thoughts’....


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    #5219
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »
    I think this lockdown has to end soon as that picture is giving me ‘thoughts’....

    What sort of thoughts? Dirty ones?


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    #5220
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Hotblack Desiato wrote: »
    Arse recognition cameras. Jeezus.

    Imagine the poor fhucker in the QA department for that!!


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    #5221
    NeinNeinNein
    Registered Users Posts: 5,694 ✭✭✭NeinNeinNein


    Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »
    I think this lockdown has to end soon as that picture is giving me ‘thoughts’....
    It's such a beautifully formed ar5ehole that it compromises the overall design. Looks more like a bad tattoo.


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