What's the etiquette here??

Brendan Bendar

YFlyer wrote: »

Roddy make sure to stick to the ole bog roll regardless of grade. Not to be using kitchen towels, wipes, jam rags, nappies: disposables or otherwise, shower curtains etc.

The ‘wall side’ of a good embossed full length bedroom curtain can be a lifesaver, in fairness.

Give the whole ‘ cleft ’ a good sawing and you should be tip top.

Just watch if there is a rad. under the sill, a fairly meaty hum could rise if the rad is fired up to heat the bedroom.

A blast of Dorian’s furniture spray can mask the fent for a day or two.

gerrybbadd

I'd say Boris has a good streak of brown left in the Union Jack boxers this morning after his diagnosis.

I'm eating fairly well despite the whole lot going on. That being said, the insides have been pure liquid. One solid movement in 2 weeks. Nothing but brown, terribly scented rain every other time. And a fair bit of paperwork required too.

I miss launching off a torpedo and hearing it dunk down with a comical splash at this stage.

Nevin Parsnipp

Blew out a girthy slab of oniony runnell this aft.

Got the hoop angle at optimum...eased down and held on clutch for a few moments.
Then spread the cheeks and gave her full bore.......lots o spoil an spatter but no self inflicted injury.

So...so important to get the hoop angle correct...

Pintman Paddy Losty

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Blew out a girthy slab of oniony runnell this aft.

Got the hoop angle at optimum...eased down and held on clutch for a few moments.
Then spread the cheeks and gave her full bore.......lots o spoil an spatter but no self inflicted injury.

So...so important to get the hoop angle correct...

No better man than yourself to get the "hoop angle" correct Nev. Well used to angling the hoop in many different directions I'd say. Generally angling up to a man of the cloth this poster would opine...

armaghlad

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

No better man than yourself to get the "hoop angle" correct Nev. Well used to angling the hoop in many different directions I'd say. Generally angling up to a man of the cloth this poster would opine...

Always lowering the tone with your homoerotic thoughts. Disappointed but not surprised

sligojoek

Right lads, which of you is this.

Johnny Flash or Mr Parsnipp would be my guess.

JohnnyFlash

sligojoek wrote: »

Right lads, which of you is this.

Johnny Flash or Mr Parsnipp would be my guess.

Not me, amigo. I’d say Nevin was a fella who grew up in a house with no indoor toilet, and was used to visiting the ditch beside the Haggard to ‘make toilet’. Would then clean up with a fistful of dock leaves before pulling up his flannel britches. Now he’s in his dotage he’s getting nostalgic for the ‘old ways’.

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Not me, amigo. I’d say Nevin was a fella who grew up in a house with no indoor toilet, and was used to visiting the ditch beside the Haggard to ‘make toilet’. Would then clean up with a fistful of dock leaves before pulling up his flannel britches. Now he’s in his dotage he’s getting nostalgic for the ‘old ways’.

Is that a bucket behind him.

Could be a fair load of slurry in her.

Probably Parsnipp, Green top gives him away.

Bobblehats

Lewd kernt would make the spring blossoms wilt somebody at least recognises that jumper let’s flush him out instead! Public enema #1

wing52

Just let fly with an absolutely magnificent creation. Smooth, free flowing buntage considering the altered consumption pattern recently. Easy-out and with a tapered end, so no way the ol' chocolate starfish could "bang closed " afterwards. Very impressed with myself tbh. Stay safe out there lads.

Brendan Bendar

wing52 wrote: »

Just let fly with an absolutely magnificent creation. Smooth, free flowing buntage considering the altered consumption pattern recently. Easy-out and with a tapered end, so no way the ol' chocolate starfish could "bang closed " afterwards. Very impressed with myself tbh. Stay safe out there lads.

Was there a ‘crackling’ sound as she left the muzzle?

Rodney Bathgate

wing52 wrote: »

Just let fly with an absolutely magnificent creation. Smooth, free flowing buntage considering the altered consumption pattern recently. Easy-out and with a tapered end, so no way the ol' chocolate starfish could "bang closed " afterwards. Very impressed with myself tbh. Stay safe out there lads.

Any pics of this beauty?

padd b1975

Eastern European processed meats get a bad press around these parts generally.
I have to say there's nothing wrong with a small portion a couple of times per week.

Since I've adjusted my diet, I'm a new man... product slides out smoother than a backhoe ram and disappears sub aqua like Greg Louganis in his heyday.

Off for a brisk 2KM constitutional now.

It's great to be alive!

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Was there a ‘crackling’ sound as she left the muzzle?

I'd say there was crackling sounds long before she fired from the muzzle

NeinNeinNein

sligojoek wrote: »

Right lads, which of you is this.

Johnny Flash or Mr Parsnipp would be my guess.

A ringer for Sinead O'Connor.

Bullocks

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

A ringer for Sinead O'Connor.

I see nothing wrong with cleaning his ring outside like that but FFS why didn't he stand up on something to keep his feet clean and dry.
Athletes foot is one thing but can you imagine putting shoes on top of those feet covered in splashback and runoff?

Brendan Bendar

Bullocks wrote: »

I see nothing wrong with cleaning his ring outside like that but FFS why didn't he stand up on something to keep his feet clean and dry.
Athletes foot is one thing but can you imagine putting shoes on top of those feet covered in splashback and runoff?

Do you seriously think that a fcuker hosing his hoop in broad daylight out the back is concerned about a bit of drittle around the feet?

Lad probably doesn’t wear socks and goes round in flip-flops.

The filthy kernt......

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Do you seriously think that a fcuker hosing his hoop in broad daylight out the back is concerned about a bit of drittle around the feet?

Lad probably doesn’t wear socks and goes round in flip-flops.

The filthy kernt......

When you explain it like that Ben I can certainly see you are right.
Wouldn't it be interesting to hear the story that went along with that picture?
Does he do it every day or was this a once off after a bad curry /porter I wonder? Or indeed Centra sausage rolls....

Pintman Paddy Losty

We'll only know the truth of the matter when Nevin arrives to explain himself. He doesn't normally stir out of the bed til after noon so we'll be waiting a while.

Brendan Bendar

Bullocks wrote: »

When you explain it like that Ben I can certainly see you are right.
Wouldn't it be interesting to hear the story that went along with that picture?
Does he do it every day or was this a once off after a bad curry /porter I wonder? Or indeed Centra sausage rolls....

Good observation,Bull, very interesting indeed.

However, I’m going to throw him some slack, look at the state of the back garden of the slob beside him!

At least shiny hole keeps his premises clean and well maintained.

Tip of a yard brush would shift any arse scree after the hose down.

Probably a nest of rats in the adjoining premises.

Parsnipp will probably be able to throw some more light on it when the whiff of his farts force him out the lice-ridden litter bed.

JohnnyFlash

Nevin probably has a couple of ‘chores’ to do before he cranks open the laptop. Has to empty his bedpan of ‘nightsoil’, fold up his bed, clear up the empty cans of Karpackie, and make himself a microwave cheeseburger.

Nevin Parsnipp

Didn't think it was "Throw sh1te at Parsnipp" day today ?

Somewhat disapointed at the tone of some of the posts to be honest ....The Nev is very particular about personal hygiene and spends a lot of time keeping his gaff clean and tidy.

I admit to having a skinful of Linden Village yesterday and may have had the odd spray out the french doors but only under cover of darkness.

Chez Parsnipp has an adequate supply of rough textured face cloths for any ar$e cleaning activity.

Thank you very much....

Cartman78

Lads, I have to say that in these strange and unprecedented times, it is comforting to navigate to this thread and read through a detailed, earnest and impassioned debate on the various scenarios of some fat bald fella spraying his hoop with a hosepipe.

Reading this is like consuming a fine meal of comfort food and indeed the inevitable comfort Tom Kite that follows.

Stay safe folks and take it handy with the hose pipes

Slideways

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

The Nev is very particular about personal hygiene and spends a lot of time keeping his gaff clean and tidy.

No offence intended now Nev, but you strike me more as a Mr Trebus type of character.

Piles of the The Star newspapers proped up inside the front door and more the only living thing to cross your threshold bar yourself is the estates rat population.

Nevin Parsnipp

Bit of a sour post Slidey....you might to pick around your hoop with a Stanley Knife as those winnits are clearly irritating you. ?

There are two P'S in propped for your info.

My living area will be up to hotel standard when I do a bit of a clean out .

Hector Savage

During these testing times my bowel movements have been quite regular at least, I have gotten a penchant for drinking Paulaner or Frankisaner in the evenings, at about 8AM the next morning I blow out a load of yobble - it comes out at ferocious speed too ....

the nerves too probably aren't helping ...

Bobblehats

Goodness me nevin put it away. I can still see the remains from those six melting middle chocolate puds you wolfed down in one ‘sitting’ sometime last century

NeinNeinNein

Good use of space putting the bed in the kitchen, handy for those midnight snacks.

Brendan Bendar

The fridge magnets look a bit tired.

NeinNeinNein

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

A ringer for Sinead O'Connor.

I see what you did there