Do men bother approaching women anymore?

Widdershins

I think Tinder is mainly a city person's thing. I can't comment on nightclubs but men certainly do still approach and talk to women everywhere else. I don't get a sense that it's purely done with a view to dating/sex but that people are more open to making new friends in the country. In towns, it seems people stick to an existing circle of friends, and see dating as entirely separate and something they have to do through the internet...a bit like selecting that night's food from a takeaway menu.

Surreptitious

Widdershins wrote: »

I think Tinder is mainly a city person's thing. I can't comment on nightclubs but men certainly do still approach and talk to women everywhere else. I don't get a sense that it's purely done with a view to dating/sex but that people are more open to making new friends in the country. In towns, it seems people stick to an existing circle of friends, and see dating as entirely separate and something they have to do through the internet...a bit like selecting that night's food from a takeaway menu.

I think people in lower populated areas won't find Tinder helpful as they could be matching with neighbours and stuff from a small town where everyone knows one another. People in cities do chat away too though when you're out it's just that in the country you'd have more of a chance of bumping into people who know your family or the same friends and that.
I prefer meeting a man who would walk up to me and start talking to me as online people use fake pictures and can get away with lying a lot more hiding behind some kind of fake bravado.

Eimee90

pilly wrote:

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

pilly wrote:

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

pilly wrote:

Made my day.

pilly wrote:

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

I'd hate that and I'm not old fashioned or anything but being caught on the hop like that would not suit me.

I think you're unfair to say that about Irish men too. It's a different culture to Canada. My dating experiences with lads here has been positive. Blasting a whole country of men is a tad bit of a sweeping generalisation

the_syco

pilly wrote: »

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

Made my day.

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

You'll find men and women do so, everywhere except Ireland and the UK. I'll blame the Irish education system where some guy who'll never get laid telling you the evils of sex.

ArchXStanton

Its simple effort Vs reward for me...

Ubbquittious

Jaysus I'd hate to be single again, it's gone besh!t altogether. You're supposed to use tinder now instead of chatting up someone in real life?

If you're in rural Ireland and you start approaching women you quickly make a name for yourself. In the city they soon tell you where to go because you're obviously a weirdo

Junkyard Tom

I'm more of an angler than a trawlerman.

Junkyard Tom

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I'm more of an angler than a trawlerman.

tis rare a net ever comes up fully empty

course, a full net is too much

Ubbquittious

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I'm more of an angler than a trawlerman.

I wish I was a fisherman
Tumblin' on the seas
Far away from dry land
And it's bitter memories

Castin' out my sweet line
With abandonment and love
No ceiling bearin' down on me
Except the starry sky above

stanley1989

I'm 30 and have never approached a woman in my life .. Haven't had that many girlfriends but definitely not at the lower end of the scale either ... Seen my mates do it time and time again harassed a girl for the night get her drunk and boom .. I'd rather not thanks .. Gets weird after awhile watching it .... No one likes a plague lol

pilly

stanley1989 wrote:

I'm 30 and have never approached a woman in my life .. Haven't had that many girlfriends but definitely not at the lower end of the scale either ... Seen my mates do it time and time again harassed a girl for the night get her drunk and boom .. I'd rather not thanks .. Gets weird after awhile watching it .... No one likes a plague lol

So how did you get these girlfriends?

Jesus Wept

It's a very dangerous game be warned. I did it once a few years ago and she is currently snoring quietly beside me.

Atlantic Dawn

The old boats were the best.

stanley1989

pilly wrote: »

So how did you get these girlfriends?

Well obviously they approached me first lol

wonderfullife

Candie wrote: »

It's not that I'm a supermodel either, I'm attractive enough but nothing spectacular.

I'm nostalgic for After Hours circa 2010 when the ONLY acceptable response to this would have been "pics or GTFO".

LaVail

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

Mister Vain

pilly wrote: »

It depends. There are some foreign women looking for Irish husbands.

Eastern European women on the other hand have a total disdain for Irish men and I find it quite rude.

I can't say I have ever experienced that. I actually think Eastern European women are the most approachable. Its easier to express an interest in them without comimg across too forward. They tend to be very open about their feelings. Theres no mind games, its straight to the point.

Shemale

Candie wrote: »

All the time.

I've never gone out for the night and not been approached, even when I'm with someone I'd still get approached on the way to the bathroom.

It's not that I'm a supermodel either, I'm attractive enough but nothing spectacular.

Self professed eye candie. I would be surprised it happens all the time unless you only drink in riding boozers

Shemale

s4uv3 wrote: »

I don't know a single woman who'd piss in a urinal over a toilet.

You clearly havent been to Bangkok

pilly

Mister Vain wrote:

I can't say I have ever experienced that. I actually think Eastern European women are the most approachable. Its easier to express an interest in them without comimg across too forward. They tend to be very open about their feelings. Theres no mind games, its straight to the point.

Maybe you meet the standard so.

Kintarō Hattori

pilly wrote: »

Maybe you meet the standard so.

I have to agree with the other two posters. With my Polish partner 13 years this year. Some will of course prefer to keep things within their own circles but the vast majority I've met have been open, easy to talk to and deal with.

Ben Gadot

LaVail wrote: »

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

It's a lack of balls seemingly based on this thread.

I think it depends on what age you are. Most of my mates are either settled or are on the cusp of it so if we're out, it's just to be amongst ourselves. I imagine if you're a woman of an equivalent age and you're not getting approached, it's for this reason.

As for in general and outside of my own group, I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't observe people on nights out and couldn't give a **** what people do as long as they are respectful (hint: not out of your brain or aggressive).

Outlaw Pete

LaVail wrote: »

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Yeah, common enough, no idea why but girls putting down guys seems to be hilarious to some women. When I was younger, much younger, that was never a thing. My major chatting up days was in the old Zoo bar and I would approach loads of girls back then and it was always so relaxed and if someone rejected you it would be done with fun or their mates would say something sound to you, you'd never regret approaching someone as a result. You'd get the old jovial slagging, but nothing with the implicit intention of humiliating you... which I feel a lot of what I see in bars and clubs can be for sure these days and for quite a while tbh.. maybe the late 90's onwards was when I started to notice that crap start to become more and more common.

Wait a minute... wasn't that the same time Sex & The City began :eek::mad:

Jim Bob Scratcher

LaVail wrote: »

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

Social media has ruined women unfortunately.

fxotoole

pilly wrote: »

Eastern European women on the other hand have a total disdain for Irish men and I find it quite rude.

Another massive generalisation there, pilly

AudreyHepburn

I'd love to be able to say men's being put off going near women on a night out has just got to do with the kind of establishment you are in and because you might be giving off vibes that suggest you're not interested or even that it's simply the rise of the likes of Tinder that have put a stop to good old flirting face to face but sadly I don't think any of those reasonable suggestions are the case.

I think it's because men are terrified of being accused of doing something they didn't and it's a sad state of affairs that that should be the case.

I wish I could understand why so many of my fellow women are so determined to make men out to be sexual deviants and monsters. Why do they want to create situations where men are afraid even to look at women for fear of being labeled a sexual offender?

bmwguy

A good old battle of the sexes thread. Can't beat them.

But I agree, I was on a night out Friday and a lady told me to F OFF when I tried to talk to her. Wasn't even trying to pull or anything. Those were the words she used.

Have been laughed at to my face in the past, it can be horrendous. Some groups of Irish women really can be unbelievably bitchy. Then you get the inevitable game playing if they have a bit of interest.
Thank God I am finished with that. Online worked for me and it's what I would recommend.

Pac1Man

"Well hello there attractive lady. How tight do you like your shoelaces?"

Samaris

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Social media has ruined women unfortunately.

Yeah? Don't leave me in suspense, I want to know how I've been irretrievably destroyed by social media! I didn't notice it happening, did my legs fall off or something?


Regarding males approaching, never found it funny, myself. Even when I was single though, I wouldn't tend to be interested and would probably turn pink, shake my head apologetically and scuttle. This was before the days of social media though, so that had nothing to do with extreme shyness.

I once pvercame it enough to approach a bloke. Turned out he had a girlfriend Oh well. But yeah, given how I'd react to -being- approached, I wouldn't slag off a guy for trying (as long as he wasn't a. being a sleaze or b. attempting to attract my attention by grabbing my ass. Those assholes get a "totally surprise reaction" elbow.)

SNNUS

LaVail wrote: »

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

Spot on! I do not mind approaching a girl or chatting while waiting for a drink , but to chat to a girl while her snidey friends are there is very hard to do.