Do men bother approaching women anymore?

pilly

Knex. wrote:

I don't think this is true at all.

It depends. There are some foreign women looking for Irish husbands.

Eastern European women on the other hand have a total disdain for Irish men and I find it quite rude.

Knex*

pilly wrote: »

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

Made my day.

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

I've had American women walk across a room to chat me up numerous times. Never has happened with an Irish woman. I'd say that generalisation of yours could be a label of reservation for all our citizens.

pilly

The Moldy Gowl wrote:

We just prefer a big bag of cans with the lads than chasing girls.

The reason there are so many old alcoholic bachelors.

riffmongous

pilly wrote: »

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

.

And??

Jim Bob Scratcher

pilly wrote: »

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

Made my day.

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

If a bloke did that in this country he would be considered weird though

pilly

Knex. wrote:

I've had American women walk across a room to chat me up numerous times. Never has happened with an Irish woman. I'd say that generalisation of yours could be a label of reservation for all our citizens.

Yeah you're right there actually.

I've often said to younger girls "just go over and start a conversation" and they wouldn't dream of it.

As you get older you kinda get more confidence I suppose.

bodice ripper

Mister Vain wrote:

Really? Not even once? That must get exhausting.

I'm not a good looking woman, and even I will get approached if left alone by my mates for 10 minutes. Granted, it's largely by dudes who are 20 years my senior, but still...

bodice ripper

Mister Vain wrote:

Really? Not even once? That must get exhausting.

I'm not a good looking woman, and even I will get approached if left alone by my mates for 10 minutes. Granted, it's largely by dudes who are 20 years my senior, but still...

pilly

riffmongous wrote:

And??

We had a coffee and a chat for about an hour, it was great.

steddyeddy

I do. Plus I'm working in American and England with an Irish accent. It's like fishing with dynamite.

red ears

pilly wrote: »

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

Made my day.

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

That's not really a fair assessment i think, its not the done thing here and most women would recoil in horror if some guy approached them sober in a cafe in Ireland.

Saying that we are in the age of equality now, approaching the opposite sex is stressful. Its about time women started doing their fair share of approaching.

neonsofa

Knex. wrote: »

Honestly, its not always purely about looks as well. You could take two women who look similar, but one is constantly in the corner with her group of friends and is a bit more shy/reserved or not quite as socially confident, and the other woman could be a lot more relaxed and comfortable in the environment, wandering around the place and just generally giving off the vibe of being more open to conversation.

If you're a guy at the bar ordering a drink and a girl comes up and she's bopping away to the music and looking like she's relaxed and enjoying herself, you're far more likely to say hello or make a comment of some sort than if a girl comes up with a vibe that isn't as social.

Oh I wasn't looking for ways to get them to approach me, but thanks for the info!
I just enjoy my night out, it doesn't matter to me how I appear to others. I don't actually want male attention on my nights out, I was just making an observation in the context of the thread. I have plenty of conversations and some of my closest friends have been made on nights out from talking to strangers-men and women. I just don't get "hit on"

Outlaw Pete

pilly wrote: »

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

It happens more on the continent because women on the continent are more respective to it, in my view. My brother wouldn't be the type to approach women, quite a shy guy but when he went to live in Spain I couldn't believe the change in him, he was approaching women all the type. When I said it to him he just said it wasn't a conscious thing, just that it's more a way of life and so you do it without even thinking about it. It's not as goal orientated there either. I stayed with him once out there and it was so much different to tourist spots. Spanish way of life is really cool in a whole lot of different ways socially speaking and not just with regards to approaching women.

You don't see many people locked out of their heads for one.... which helps I suppose, as nobody (of either gender) wants some slurring fool chatting them up.

pilly

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote:

If a bloke did that in this country he would be considered weird though

I don't think so. It depends how you do it.

Anyway, who cares if a stranger thinks you're weird?

My daughter is always mortified about things like that and my answer is always the same.

"If they're strangers why do you care what they think?"

indioblack

Mister Vain wrote: »

Something I heard on the radio the other day got me thinking. A woman sent in an email saying how men never seem to approach women on nights out anymore. It's something I've noticed myself, that a lot of guys don't really seem bothered to make an effort. I'm not saying it never happens but it doesn't appear to be as common now. Is it just because of online dating or are there other reasons?

I never bother approaching women.
Retreating women occasionally, and sometimes women moving transversely.
But never when they are approaching.

Rumpy Pumpy

pilly wrote: »

Bring back the slow dance I say!

Bit of Chris de Burgh's Lady in Red. Then over to the bar for a pint of stout for yourself and a glass of Liebfraumilch for the smitten lady.

One eyed Jack

Mister Vain wrote: »

Something I heard on the radio the other day got me thinking. A woman sent in an email saying how men never seem to approach women on nights out anymore. It's something I've noticed myself, that a lot of guys don't really seem bothered to make an effort. I'm not saying it never happens but it doesn't appear to be as common now. Is it just because of online dating or are there other reasons?

Ahh it does, still happens all the time, just depends on where you're hanging out really. One thing I've definitely noticed over the years is an increase in the numbers of women who aren't afraid to approach men. People in Ireland at least are still approaching each other in fairly equal numbers I would say.

Of course though if nobody is approaching you (not you personally Mr. V, the woman on the radio I mean), you're going to be far more attuned to who else is and isn't approaching who!

pilly

Outlaw Pete wrote:

It happens more on the continent because women on the continent are more respective to it, in my view. My brother wouldn't be the type to approach women, quite a shy guy but when he went to live in Spain I couldn't believe the change in him, he was approaching women all the type. When I said it to him he just said it wasn't a conscious thing, just that it's more a way of life and so you do it without even thinking about it. It's not as goal orientated there either. I stayed with him once out there and it was so much different to tourist spots. Spanish way of life is really cool in a whole lot of different ways socially speaking and not just with regards to approaching women.

Yeah you're probably right there. It is more acceptable in some countries.

But I'll be honest I've never known a woman (not talking young onrs now) who didn't like it so maybe things should change here.

I don't drink and don't do tinder so it's not easy to meet someone unless I take risks like talking to strangers in strange places.

pilly

Outlaw Pete wrote:

It happens more on the continent because women on the continent are more respective to it, in my view. My brother wouldn't be the type to approach women, quite a shy guy but when he went to live in Spain I couldn't believe the change in him, he was approaching women all the type. When I said it to him he just said it wasn't a conscious thing, just that it's more a way of life and so you do it without even thinking about it. It's not as goal orientated there either. I stayed with him once out there and it was so much different to tourist spots. Spanish way of life is really cool in a whole lot of different ways socially speaking and not just with regards to approaching women.

Yeah you're probably right there. It is more acceptable in some countries.

But I'll be honest I've never known a woman (not talking young onrs now) who didn't like it so maybe things should change here.

I don't drink and don't do tinder so it's not easy to meet someone unless I take risks like talking to strangers in strange places.

The Moldy Gowl

Knex. wrote: »

I think there's some truth in this. I like the social mindset that's in a lot of Irish groups where they are just heading out to have a laugh with their friends, enjoy the music and get inebriated. No plans to go out doggedly looking for women.



I don't think this is true at all. Could genuinely be that you've had more positive experiences with foreign women, so when you see one you approach with more confidence and are a bit more relaxed. Mindset, confidence and body language are massive in all interactions - male or female.

Yeah. Its only really changed in the last few years.
I can easily get a tinderella so there isnt any pressure on a night out to look for girls and be pissed you didnt pull. I prefer it that way to be honest, if the shift comes, the shift comes. I dont wanna waste my night chasing girls.

I have more fun skulling pints and being with the lads especially if i haven't gone home in a while

Tigger

Candie wrote: »

All the time.

I've never gone out for the night and not been approached, even when I'm with someone I'd still get approached on the way to the bathroom.

It's not that I'm a supermodel either, I'm attractive enough but nothing spectacular.

You're good looking enough to approach but no soo high maintaince looking that men are intimidated
Which is nice

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Outlaw Pete

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

If a bloke did that in this country he would be considered weird though

I seen something similar happen on the 41 bus (of all places). I was out in the Airport and waiting for a bus to the city centre when a black guy, African I think, with a bellowing voice (almost like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America) comes up to me and points at a Carrol's Shop advert on the bus stop that showed a beautiful brunette in a Aran Jumper and says, loudly "What beautiful women you have here!". I looked at is and then just jokingly said to him: "Ah, sure she's probably some Italian model". He looked at me like I said she was probably as alien from Plant Zog and walked off looking puzzled.

Bus comes and he's sitting upstairs on the opposite side to me and around Whitehall I see him slowly stand up, walk up to the front seats where a girl was sitting on her own, and as he leaned down say "Hello, how are you, do you like to watch Football!" She looks up petrified and in the thickest inner city accent says: "Ah here will you get away from me will ya!". Never seen someone move so fast. Was back in his seat quick fast looking even more bemused. I think maybe he had seen The Quiet Man and though 'Ireland is the place for me'.

Tigger

pilly wrote: »

It depends. There are some foreign women looking for Irish husbands.

Eastern European women on the other hand have a total disdain for Irish men and I find it quite rude.

Loads of my mates are partnered up with Eastern European women

One eyed Jack

red ears wrote: »

Saying that we are in the age of equality now, approaching the opposite sex is stressful. Its about time women started doing their fair share of approaching.

Approaching the opposite sex is stressful, but women should do more approaching because... equality?

I don't think that's going to fly any time soon tbh, particularly because nobody is obliged to approach anyone! It'd be nice for example if I was approached by more women, but I'm not going to suggest women should approach me because... equality?

I don't get it, I'm just trying to make sense of what you're suggesting, but I don't get it at all. Where does attraction and freedom of choice come into that?

SGSM

pilly wrote:

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

Very unfair. How about trying it and being blanked by her. Yep, she literally looked at me and walked away. I'm in my twenties and the majority of guys that approach women are on nights out and hammered. It's not the done thing and if it's not in a night out setting, the women are mortified by it.

Approaching a stranger in a pub or club is just about the strangest way I can think of to get either short or long term action in 2017. It seems pretty old fashioned and desperate tbh.

That said, women are only after you to pay the rent for them these days so I'm led to understand, far better off out of it lads

Surreptitious

Deleted User wrote: »

Approaching a stranger in a pub or club is just about the strangest way I can think of to get either short or long term action in 2017. It seems pretty old fashioned and desperate tbh.

That said, women are only after you to pay the rent for them these days so I'm led to understand, far better off out of it lads

What planet are you on? No man ever supported me.

I do get approached alright sometimes people just want a chat too on a night out.
I don't think anyone sets out with the mind set of straight out sex when they talk to a woman socially.

Surreptitious

Surreptitious wrote: »

What planet are you on? No man ever supported me..

Reading boards .....today!

Yourself isit

red ears wrote: »

That's not really a fair assessment i think, its not the done thing here and most women would recoil in horror if some guy approached them sober in a cafe in Ireland.

Saying that we are in the age of equality now, approaching the opposite sex is stressful. Its about time women started doing their fair share of approaching.

A lot of American women don't like the hit upon culture over there either. Let me enjoy my damned coffee, they think.