Wives... were you glad pubs weren't open today

mockingjay

I have to say I was, hubbie often scuttles off to the pub after work on Fridays & is sick on Saturday, but he was off today, came for a walk & a coffee with me, spent time with the kids, joined us for a movie, it was so nice. He misses so much family time at the weekends as he goes out on a Saturday night too, I don't go out because the early morning football runs kill me, I need my sleep, he comes too, but often hungover, I can't do that... and to think he'll be up tomorrow morning to help out will be fantastic.... I loved it... I don't allow him to come into our bed at the weekend because of the snoring & smell of alcohol but it will be so nice to wake up warm tomorrow with no smell of beer!!! I might even get a cuddle:))

jamesbere

Put the foot down, why should he be out enjoying himself and your stuck having to keep the kids entertained over the weekend

nhunter100

mockingjay wrote:

I have to say I was, hubbie often scuttles off to the pub after work on Fridays & is sick on Saturday, but he was off today, came for a walk & a coffee with me, spent time with the kids, joined us for a movie, it was so nice. He misses so much family time at the weekends as he goes out on a Saturday night too, I don't go out because the early morning football runs kill me, I need my sleep, he comes too, but often hungover, I can't do that... and to think he'll be up tomorrow morning to help out will be fantastic.... I loved it... I don't allow him to come into our bed at the weekend because of the snoring & smell of alcohol but it will be so nice to wake up warm tomorrow with no smell of beer!!! I might even get a cuddle )

Tbh sounds like he has a problem. I enjoy my few beers as do my mates but family does not take second place.

Vincent Vega

Serenity now.

uch

Sure an ould Ride wouldn't kill him either seeing as your in such a good mood

endacl

Two questions, OP....

1. How did you manage to post from the 1970s?
2. No. That's it. How did you post here from decades ago?!?

buried

I'm a single man and I wouldn't go next or near the pubs at the weekends, its just too grim. Sounds like you all had a good day today though, ye should organise trips out the weekends of the summer, there are great walks and trails all over the country, the kids will love it and so willl your husband by the sounds of it. Take control with a dose of honey like today. Don't try to take control with prohibition vinegar.

uch

Armchair Andy

3/10.

Of course it begs the question, why didn't you have the tinnies stocked up?

whoopsadoodles

I was all set to defend your husband when I opened the thread but that's actually pretty sh*t.

Are you the poster who couldn't afford to go your work Christmas party because you didn't have €100 to spare? How does your husband afford to go out every Friday and Saturday night and you can't even go out to a once off party?

GoneHome

I don't allow him to come into our bed at the weekend because of the snoring & smell of alcohol but it will be so nice to wake up warm tomorrow with no smell of beer!!! [/QUOTE]

Ah this is not right for either you or him, as a friend of mine says "he needs to have a chat with himself", it just shows what a good day both of you and the kids had today when there was no alcohol involved, that's the way it should be every weekend not just as a treat cause the pubs weren't open.

uch

See post #8

Surreptitious

He sounds like a fcking nightmare. You should be getting cuddles anyway don't mind wishing for the odd one. Funt up the hole into tomorrow will sort him out, choosing pubs over his family.

oneilla

Husband sounds like an arse, going out drinking without you and them being useless of a Saturday. I'm happy you had a good day but doesn't sound like you averaged weekend is much fun

ChikiChiki

mockingjay wrote: »

I have to say I was, hubbie often scuttles off to the pub after work on Fridays & is sick on Saturday, but he was off today, came for a walk & a coffee with me, spent time with the kids, joined us for a movie, it was so nice. He misses so much family time at the weekends as he goes out on a Saturday night too, I don't go out because the early morning football runs kill me, I need my sleep, he comes too, but often hungover, I can't do that... and to think he'll be up tomorrow morning to help out will be fantastic.... I loved it... I don't allow him to come into our bed at the weekend because of the snoring & smell of alcohol but it will be so nice to wake up warm tomorrow with no smell of beer!!! I might even get a cuddle:))

That sounds like a blissful marraige...

On a serious note that reads as a very sad post. Heavy drinking in households has an effect on the children as they grow into adults. Be aware of it. I have first hand experience of this.

I would recommend the book "Adult Children of Alcoholics". Its an eye opener.

s4uv3

Your husband sounds like a selfish arse

whoopsadoodles

sugarman wrote: »

I love how everyone is so quick to judge the husband without knowing any real facts. Maybe he breaks his bollox doing a 50-60hrs week job he hates, trying to provide for said family and is more than entitled to destress and enjoy himself over the weekend as he feels. Maybe it's the only time he sees his friends.

Maybe the OP drops the kids off to school each day and sits at home catching up on her soaps.. maybe even having a glass of wine or two having a bit of me time.. or perhaps out shopping or having lunch with her friends.

Nobody knows.

...And maybe this thread is a fictional troll!

Well a very quick look over her previous posts says she leaves at 6.50am every morning to go to work in her full time job.

And that it's highly unlikely from her posting history, that she's a troll.

She also didn't give out about her husband at all just said it was nice to have him home.

Fighting Tao

Not all families are husband-wife and this story is very one sided.

On a side note if this is a personal issue as some seem to think so then it would have been posted in the personal issues forum.

Winterlong

That is a sorry state of affairs OP. He is a dad and a husband. That should come before his drinking.
Fair play to you for keeping the family unit going.

Game Face MCGee

I feel bad for the op, her husband sounds like a selfish prick!!

sassyj

Depressing post

sassyj

endacl wrote: »

Two questions, OP....

1. How did you manage to post from the 1970s?
2. No. That's it. How did you post here from decades ago?!?

+1

SEPT 23 1989

In sickness and in health

For richer and for poorer

Break the deal spin the wheel

Chuchote

If you regularly get hangovers you're an alcoholic.

tomwaterford

Chuchote wrote: »

If you regularly get hangovers you're an alcoholic.

Clearly the solution here is to keep drinking to avoid it so?

Pinch Flat

Sounds like alcohol is more important to him than his wife and family. Have you thought about having a chat about the impact that his drinking is having on your family? I love a few beers, but if it's keeping me in bed for most of the weekend recovering and preventing me from oartuaking in the family I'd probably do something about it.

Fighting Tao

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Sounds like alcohol is more important to him than his wife and family. Have you thought about having a chat about the impact that his drinking is having on your family? I love a few beers, but if it's keeping me in bed for most of the weekend recovering and preventing me from oartuaking in the family I'd probably do something about it.

By family you mean your bike? Right?

Malari

Insulting subject line. She's assuming just because her husband treats her badly that most other wives are in this situation too?:rolleyes:

Chuchote

Chuchote wrote: »

If you regularly get hangovers you're an alcoholic.

Nonsense.

Your Face

Bloody Muslims.

NoviGlitzko

Will some people relax and be not so quick to judge. 'Your husbands an ass', 'your husbands an alcoholic'. We know **** all about these people and their marriage.

I can imagine the OP coming back to read the comments here and feeling miserable going through them when she was seemingly in a good mood.

Chuchote

https://www.addict-help.com/signs-of-alcoholism/

Signs Of Alcoholism – How to Tell If You Are An Alcoholic

1. Cravings for alcohol
2. Loss of control
3. Dependence
4. Drinking alone or in secret
5. Being unable to limit the amount of alcohol you drink
6. Losing interest in activities and hobbies that used to bring pleasure
7. Feeling the need or compulsion to drink
8. Irritability when your usual drinking time nears, especially if alcohol isn’t available
9. Keeping alcohol in unlikely places at home, at work or in the car
10. Having legal problems or problems with relationships, employment or finances
11. Experiencing physical withdrawal symptoms

__Alex__

Malari wrote: »

Insulting subject line. She's assuming just because her husband treats her badly that most other wives are in this situation too?:rolleyes:

For the love of god. It's a call out to see if anyone else is going through the same thing.

Malari

__Alex__ wrote: »

For the love of god. It's a call out to see if anyone else is going through the same thing.

Not the way I read it. How can you think that's normal!?

It's some jump by people to assume he is an alcoholic, sounds like a normal weekend to me.

Biggest issue here isn't the husband going out it's the lack of a bit of compromise now that there are kids. A person should be able to go out and have a good session after a weeks work and not have to give that up but if he does it Friday night then he should mind the kids sat night and let you out with your friends and also get up with the kids Sunday morning so you can have a sleep in and recover a bit.

__Alex__

Malari wrote: »

Not the way I read it. How can you think that's normal!?

Huh? I don't think it's normal. But I don't get the impression that she thinks all wives go through this.

bodice ripper

Ah yes. "Every right to de-stress". I remember that one being trotted out once I got old enough to question a parent's heavy drinking. It'll end in tears.

andekwarhola

Have a word with him, OP and suggest that he does a dry weekend (like this one you've enjoyed) every second weekend and on a 'pub' weekend, he just goes one night.

el_gaucho

Malari wrote: »

Not the way I read it. How can you think that's normal!?

Not the way I read it either, the OP seems to be accepting the situation and just happy to have one good weekend instead of expecting every weekend to be like this one. As someone else said she even seemed to be in a good mood.

Malari

__Alex__ wrote: »

Huh? I don't think it's normal. But I don't get the impression that she thinks all wives go through this.

Not you, the OP, I meant.

Generally when you start a thread (sorry, when ONE starts a thread, lest there be any confusion) with a question like in the subject line, you expect at least some people to agree with you; expect it to be somewhat common.

As a previous poster said, maybe in the 70's, when women were expected by many in society to stay at home and mind the kids and men went to the pub after working all week! It's a bizarre question to put to wives in general in 2017!

Thebe

mockingjay wrote: »

It was so nice. )

mockingjay I kindof hope you don't return to this thread until after the weekend, hopefully the weekend is still going nice for you.

I think your post has resonated with a lot of people and I think that most wish that you have more 'good Fridays'. From the different perspective that we have reading your post it seems like you are having too many bad Fridays. Personally I would be thinking he needs to cut back on the booze, it is coming across like a problem but you know best about this in fairness.

I'd also think that maybe you should enjoy the rest of the weekend and midweek have a chat with him about restructuring the weekend to have less alcohol and more family time. It may be just a pattern ye have fallen into or it may be more of a problem. If he is reluctant to make any change to his plans I think you need to get some advice, possibly from your GP.

Chuchote

Alma Weak Stabilizer wrote: »

It's some jump by people to assume he is an alcoholic, sounds like a normal weekend to me.

Getting drunk enough to have a hangover and neglecting your family? Sad thought.

myshirt

Why can't everyone see the positive side of this?

Stop laying into the chap, he has no doubt been busting his bollox working during the week for his family. Is it unreasonable that expending such effort would cause a man to build up a thirst? I would personally take the time with the children, but if this man like a few bruskies let him to it.

Chuchote wrote: »

Getting drunk enough to have a hangover and neglecting your family? Sad thought.

Ah come off it, that's outrageous. Do you know what neglect is? That's completely unfair.

Allinall

myshirt wrote: »

Why can't everyone see the positive side of this?

Stop laying into the chap, he has no doubt been busting his bollox working during the week for his family. Is it unreasonable that expending such effort would cause a man to build up a thirst? I would personally take the time with the children, but if this man like a few bruskies let him to it.



Ah come off it, that's outrageous. Do you know what neglect is? That's completely unfair.

What happens if she goes out as well on a Friday night after working hard all week to help provide for their family ( note- not her family).

Who would look after the kids then?

Pinch Flat

Fighting Tao wrote: »

By family you mean your bike? Right?

Yeah cycling and alcoholism. I can see the link now. :rolleyes:

Allinall

Allinall wrote: »

What happens if she goes out as well on a Friday night after working hard all week to help provide for their family ( note- not her family).

Who would look after the kids then?

If the grandparents etc are local then that might allow both our at the same time but probably the best compromise is one has their session on the Friday night and the other on the Saturday night and the one who wasn't out can look after the kids in the morning so the other can sleep/recover.

__Alex__

Malari wrote: »

Not you, the OP, I meant.

Generally when you start a thread (sorry, when ONE starts a thread, lest there be any confusion) with a question like in the subject line, you expect at least some people to agree with you; expect it to be somewhat common.

As a previous poster said, maybe in the 70's, when women were expected by many in society to stay at home and mind the kids and men went to the pub after working all week! It's a bizarre question to put to wives in general in 2017!

But it might well be the situation for some women in Ireland, as unpalatable as it might seem!

mockingjay

sugarman wrote: »

I love how everyone is so quick to judge the husband without knowing any real facts. Maybe he breaks his bollox doing a 50-60hrs week job he hates, trying to provide for said family and is more than entitled to destress and enjoy himself over the weekend as he feels. Maybe it's the only time he sees his friends.

Maybe the OP drops the kids off to school each day and sits at home catching up on her soaps.. maybe even having a glass of wine or two having a bit of me time.. or perhaps out shopping or having lunch with her friends.

Nobody knows.

...And maybe this thread is a fictional troll!

Well I'm not a troll, and I work full-time too and I rarely go out, don't really have the money - thanks for all the advice, I have been naive I think, I thought most people put up with this, his friends wives do, I'm going to have a big think about all of this today.

Raging_Ninja

mockingjay wrote: »

Well I'm not a troll, and I work full-time too and I rarely go out, don't really have the money - thanks for all the advice, I have been naive I think, I thought most people put up with this, his friends wives do, I'm going to have a big think about all of this today.

Are they his friends, or his drinking buddies?

weldoninhio

mockingjay wrote: »

I have to say I was, hubbie often scuttles off to the pub after work on Fridays & is sick on Saturday, but he was off today, came for a walk & a coffee with me, spent time with the kids, joined us for a movie, it was so nice. He misses so much family time at the weekends as he goes out on a Saturday night too, I don't go out because the early morning football runs kill me, I need my sleep, he comes too, but often hungover, I can't do that... and to think he'll be up tomorrow morning to help out will be fantastic.... I loved it... I don't allow him to come into our bed at the weekend because of the snoring & smell of alcohol but it will be so nice to wake up warm tomorrow with no smell of beer!!! I might even get a cuddle:))

That sounds like a healthy relationship.

Bredabe

__Alex__ wrote: »

But it might well be the situation for some women in Ireland, as unpalatable as it might seem!

Add sports training and you have the story of a lot of marriages.