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Sexual Harassment Caught on Video
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Tbf, they only recorded one side of it. We actually don't know what they were doing.
The boyfriend in the video had this to say in the comments section on Reddit where he originally posted the video. Yeah, it still doesn't give crazy woman's side of the story, but in fairness unless the couple were having full-on sex or murdering a baby, I think her 'side' is there to see in the original video.Throwaway just in case, but I’m an avid fan of this sub.
Last night my girlfriend of four years and I were waiting patiently for a lady to order her food at this restaurant in Santa Monica, and I had my arms around her from behind and maybe kissed her on the top of the head once or twice, but that was the extent of it.
Out of nowhere, the lady (who was finalizing her transaction) looks at us and exclaims emphatically how inappropriate PDA was and how uncomfortable it was making her. I thought she was joking because of how little we were actually making contact. I turned and kissed my girlfriend on the cheek and made a loud smack, and that’s where she really lost it. I immediately knew I had to get this on camera, so that’s about where the video picks up.
We tried to stay as calm as possible. I was trying not to engage as I knew this lady was clearly nuts, but when she started calling my girlfriend a slut, whore, etc, and when she stepped closer to her, that’s when I started getting angry. In retrospect, I’m proud that we didn’t sink to her level or anything like that, but wish I would’ve said some more clever remarks. Oh also, I ****ed up by not filming in portrait mode – Sorry about that.
Also, I've bolded the first line above because I think it relates to "Whatever about filming the incident to cover your own ass just in case, uploading it to the likes of Live Leak is a different thing." The "sub" that the guy is talking about above is a subreddit called 'Public Freakouts'. While I've no doubt that he and his girlfriend were needlessly abused by someone with major issues, I've also no doubt that he couldn't wait to post the video and pick up those all important karma/internet points.0 -
Widdershins wrote: »You're missing the point. Nobody condoned their behaviour, clearly, since they got imprisoned for it. Nobody condoned the woman's behaviour in the video, just pointed out it might take treatment to make sure she doesn't do it again.
It's a fairly simple distinction and it doesn't take a genius to understand.
Some of your own posts from about 5 hours ago on this thread seems to be for condoning her behaviour on the grounds that she "may have mental problems".
Condone
synonyms: deliberately ignore, not take into consideration, disregard
It is fairly simple concept and it doesn't take a genius to understand.0 -
Anyway, so what even if they did have sex there... it's a poke shop
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Galwayguy35 wrote: »Actually I think everyone especially the couple were very restrained in the situation, if that was a chipper in Ireland and someone got in peoples faces like she did the result would be different.
Also every instance of bad behaviour these days seems to be explained away with "mental health issues", some people are just assholes.
Actually they weren't restrained at all they just kept goading her and laughing. If you ever worked with the mentally ill, that's not how you deal with them or treat them. The gang goading and tempting her for fun were no better.
If that was a chipper in Ireland, at least a few years back, a calmer older wiser person would just have said to her not worry about it and chatted to her about something else, and it would have been defused. Nowadays it's whip out the mobile phone goad and provoke someone who is clearly mentally disturbed as much as possible, and laugh at her, then get the crowd to join in, then make money out of it by posting it on you tube.
You tube thankfully has more sense and took the video down as it violates their bullying and harassment policy.0 -
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Don't know why people keep bringing up possible mental health issues as if it condones her behaviour.
Half the violent offenders in prison have the same sort of "mental health issues", should they all not have to face the consequences of their actions either?
Also, why shouldn't the lad filming be allowed to have his own form of revenge?
Firstly the criminally insane don't get sent to prison, they get sent to hospital.
So its about "revenge" ?
If you think you need to 'get revenge' on someone who needs help instead of shaming and abuse, then you need some help yourself. It would have been pretty easy to calm her down at the very start.0 -
Turn off the red light.0
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Actually they weren't restrained at all they just kept goading her and laughing. If you ever worked with the mentally ill, that's not how you deal with them or treat them. The gang goading and tempting her for fun were no better.
If that was a chipper in Ireland, at least a few years back, a calmer older wiser person would just have said to her not worry about it and chatted to her about something else, and it would have been defused. Nowadays it's whip out the mobile phone goad and provoke someone who is clearly mentally disturbed as much as possible, and laugh at her, then get the crowd to join in, then make money out of it by posting it on you tube.
You tube thankfully has more sense and took the video down as it violates their bullying and harassment policy.
I think they were out for a night out, not on training on how to deal with a trainwreck of a person. Or maybe they were mentally ill too. Don't judge them without the relevant facts0 -
There's nothing wrong with her mental health. She went in there to buy a load of grub so she could eat her feelings in peace (as we're all prone to do from time to time - lets be honest now) and instead she had to endure her time in the queue standing beside a woman who was more much more attractive and thinner than her getting loved up from her boyfriend. It was a jealously fueled rant, nothing more and nothing less. Even sentences she started which were aimed at the guy, ended with the word prostitute and her looking at the girl. She was everything she wanted to be and she hated her for it. I've seen good looking men with their hands all over women's arses in Zaytoon's of a Friday night, while I'm minding my own business trying to get a kebab, fries and fanta. You think I didn't want call him a dirty horny bastard and tell them both to get a room, of course I did but instead I went home and cry wanked like a normal person. Less chance of that ended up on YouTube for a start... thank God.0
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Actually they weren't restrained at all they just kept goading her and laughing. If you ever worked with the mentally ill, that's not how you deal with them or treat them. The gang goading and tempting her for fun were no better.
If that was a chipper in Ireland, at least a few years back, a calmer older wiser person would just have said to her not worry about it and chatted to her about something else, and it would have been defused. Nowadays it's whip out the mobile phone goad and provoke someone who is clearly mentally disturbed as much as possible, and laugh at her, then get the crowd to join in, then make money out of it by posting it on you tube.
You tube thankfully has more sense and took the video down as it violates their bullying and harassment policy.
This woman was denying them their right to express their affection. Why should they put up with that if it's not illegal?
I do not see why you are assuming she was mentally ill.
If she was mentally ill to such an extent that she would be aggressive towards ordinary members of the public then she should not have been alllowed out on her own0 -
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Firstly the criminally insane don't get sent to prison, they get sent to hospital.
So its about "revenge" ?
If you think you need to 'get revenge' on someone who needs help instead of shaming and abuse, then you need some help yourself. It would have been pretty easy to calm her down at the very start.
Yes it is about revenge. You are entitled to not seek revenge in any form against people who are nasty to you, just like that couple are entitled to seek any legal forms of revenge if they wish upon that woman who was nasty to them. It is not an illegal form of revenge.
Why should they be required to calm her down? They are not that woman's nanny. On top of that, it can be very dangeous to attempt to calm someone like that down - its not the couple's responsibility to calm her down.
It can be better to challenge them so they can see you're not weak and that you have the crowd with you so that the person backs away in the end (as this person did), rather than try to take a conciliatory tone and get hit in the back because the asshole thinks that you are weak and they will get away with it (you let them get away with calling you names already, why not a few hits too then?)
Also - there's no medical definition of insanity so that's a stupid argument. People who are "bat**** crazy" are sent to hospital, people who have "issues" generally go to prison0 -
This woman was denying them their right to express their affection. Why should they put up with that if it's not illegal?
I do not see why you are assuming she was mentally ill.
If she was mentally ill to such an extent that she would be aggressive towards ordinary members of the public then she should not have been alllowed out on her own
Of course if she's doing this regularly the health authority would have to act, but the solution is not for the gang in the restaurant to start behaving in a similar fashion as "revenge". That's not how mental health issues are successfully treated.0 -
Did anyone else watch the video with the closed captions on?!0
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Widdershins wrote: »
I'm well aware insecure women can have a bit of a vendetta against better looking women. It's not unusual. I don't think they go off on an hysterical rant in public about sex and name calling, though.
I've had it happen. Some years ago I worked at a job that had a lunch cafe in the office building. I would go there every day and had a group of friends from another company I would eat lunch with, mostly men. I began to notice that one of the other cafe patrons - an older woman - would glare at me. If I was by myself, she would sit close to me and really notch it up - glaring and calling me names under her breath, like she was trying to get my attention. I always ignored her.
One day, I was getting napkins and she rushed over and tried to "beat" me, but wasn't quite fast enough. She ended up bumping into me from behind and I turned and apologized, as you do. I sat down at a table to start eating and she followed me and went on a huge rant about how much of slut I was and how much she hated me and how she had been watching me every day and I clearly had mental issues. I had never exchanged a word with this woman in my life - had never done anything to her, had only even noticed her before because of her glaring and muttering insults, which I had politely ignored. I was in tears by the end of it and ended up reporting her to security who told her she would be banned from the cafe if she ever had another outburst.
But this was a professional woman (security checked to see if she worked at the office park and had a right to be in the cafe in the first place). I'm not sure how she behaved towards her colleagues at work, but it obviously wasn't bad enough to get her fired. She just directed whatever insecurities and frustrations she had with the world at me during lunch.
Anyway, this lady in this video reminded me a lot of her. Some people are just raging assholes. She probably does need therapy - my lady definitely did - but that doesn't necessarily mean she's mentally ill. Heck, I've been in therapy and I've never had a mental illness. For some people, it's as simple as not knowing how to handle certain emotions, like, for example, jealousy, and letting that spiral out of control.0 -
Of course if she's doing this regularly the health authority would have to act, but the solution is not for the gang in the restaurant to start behaving in a similar fashion as "revenge". That's not how mental health issues are successfully treated.
Why do you assume she has "mental health issues"?
I think it is fair for the couple to assume that she has not been diagnosed with any disorder requiring treatment since she was out in public on her own0 -
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Outlaw Pete wrote: »There's nothing wrong with her mental health.
How can you be so definitive? Well, you can't be. I don't think she definitely has mental problems but her behaviour suggest there could be some there. Or she could just be an asshole. Either way, I can't say for definite. And neither can you. :cool:0 -
Why do you assume she has "mental health issues"?
I think it is fair for the couple to assume that she has not been diagnosed with any disorder requiring treatment since she was out in public on her own
Er, most people with mental illnesses are 'allowed' out on their own unless they've been sectioned (committed to a psychiatric unit). That includes people with very serious mental illnesses. Nobody monitors their medication use or lack of it, either, unless they're in hospital.0 -
Some of your own posts from about 5 hours ago on this thread seems to be for condoning her behaviour on the grounds that she "may have mental problems".
Condone
synonyms: deliberately ignore, not take into consideration, disregard
It is fairly simple concept and it doesn't take a genius to understand.
Sorry that you struggle with comprehension of my posts but I can't elaborate any further. The entire focus of the posts was to point out someone professional might need to treat the cause of her outbursts and, logically, this is the opposite of ignoring them.0 -
Actually they weren't restrained at all they just kept goading her and laughing. If you ever worked with the mentally ill, that's not how you deal with them or treat them. The gang goading and tempting her for fun were no better.
If that was a chipper in Ireland...chatted to her about something else, and it would have been defused..That's not how mental health issues are successfully treated.
Talk about "passing the buck" onto the public !
Methinks as a poster, you might have some professional involvement in mental health services, and you think the public should act in a certain manner.
But the public is just that, public.
People cannot be expected to "treat" someone with mental health issues, or even to "diffuse" a situation, or "calm" a person down.
If people are able to diffuse a situation and calm down a person, so much the better, but it is not something that should be expected of someone standing in queue to order food.
As for members of the public being expected to successfully "treat" mental illness, that has me bemused to be honest.
Surely if indeed you have some professional involvement in mental illness, you might be able to understand that it is not the remit of the man/woman on the street to "treat" someone's mental illness ?0 -
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metaoblivia wrote: »I've had it happen. Some years ago I worked at a job that had a lunch cafe in the office building. I would go there every day and had a group of friends from another company I would eat lunch with, mostly men. I began to notice that one of the other cafe patrons - an older woman - would glare at me. If I was by myself, she would sit close to me and really notch it up - glaring and calling me names under her breath, like she was trying to get my attention. I always ignored her.
One day, I was getting napkins and she rushed over and tried to "beat" me, but wasn't quite fast enough. She ended up bumping into me from behind and I turned and apologized, as you do. I sat down at a table to start eating and she followed me and went on a huge rant about how much of slut I was and how much she hated me and how she had been watching me every day and I clearly had mental issues. I had never exchanged a word with this woman in my life - had never done anything to her, had only even noticed her before because of her glaring and muttering insults, which I had politely ignored. I was in tears by the end of it and ended up reporting her to security who told her she would be banned from the cafe if she ever had another outburst.
But this was a professional woman (security checked to see if she worked at the office park and had a right to be in the cafe in the first place). I'm not sure how she behaved towards her colleagues at work, but it obviously wasn't bad enough to get her fired. She just directed whatever insecurities and frustrations she had with the world at me during lunch.
Anyway, this lady in this video reminded me a lot of her. Some people are just raging assholes. She probably does need therapy - my lady definitely did - but that doesn't necessarily mean she's mentally ill. Heck, I've been in therapy and I've never had a mental illness. For some people, it's as simple as not knowing how to handle certain emotions, like, for example, jealousy, and letting that spiral out of control.
I'm well aware it happens, I've had it happen to me, it was my boyfriend who pointed out what the other woman's problem was. She was grossly overweight.I was paying her for professional services. She wasn't tearing her hair out or rocking in a corner muttering gibberish so no, she didn't 'look' ill.
If you need therapy you're mentally ill (not necessarily that you need to be diagnosed with something, but at that time your mental health needs treatment to get you feeling well again for whatever reason). There's a huge spectrum of mentally illnesses. Needing therapy for something on that scale-or a phobia, for example- isn't the same as having a long term mental illness but it's still a state of mental illness. It'd be unusual for anyone to go through their entire life and never be mentally unwell at some point, in a minor way. They might not require treatment though. I'm beginning to see this is a lack of understanding of what mentally ill means. I might not need a bandage, but not major surgery for a sprained ankle. In that case I'd still be injured. Or I might not need so much as antibiotics for a head cold but I'm still physically ill.
I almost feel like I should apologise for saying what I said about therapy and mental illness, but thats because of the perception of it I'm getting from the thread...it's not a dirty word or an insult.0 -
Funny how before there was a stigma about mental health and how its now maybe gone the other way.
Sometimes people are just big stupid assholes.0 -
Mountainsandh wrote: »Talk about "passing the buck" onto the public !
Methinks as a poster, you might have some professional involvement in mental health services, and you think the public should act in a certain manner.
But the public is just that, public.
People cannot be expected to "treat" someone with mental health issues, or even to "diffuse" a situation, or "calm" a person down.
If people are able to diffuse a situation and calm down a person, so much the better, but it is not something that should be expected of someone standing in queue to order food.
As for members of the public being expected to successfully "treat" mental illness, that has me bemused to be honest.
Surely if indeed you have some professional involvement in mental illness, you might be able to understand that it is not the remit of the man/woman on the street to "treat" someone's mental illness ?
I never said it was, what I don't think is right, or a decent social solution, is the double standard of goading, baiting, videoing and ganging up on a woman with severe issues who needs help, and then posting it on youtube to make money, while talking of 'revenge'.0 -
I never said it was, what I don't think is right, or a decent social solution, is the double standard of goading, baiting, videoing and ganging up on a woman with severe issues who needs help, and then posting it on youtube to make money, while talking of 'revenge'.
A poster just shared a comment from the man from the couple who were ranted at. He's a fan of this reddit page about Public Freakouts, I think that's where he uploaded the video to?
Definiely looks like he was half pleased with the whole thing in a warped way, or pleased with the chance to share his own experience with a weirdo.0 -
Widdershins wrote: »If you need therapy you're mentally ill.
Mental illness is characterized by impairment of normal emotional, behavioural, or cognitive function.
Many people go to therapists to get help 'fine-tuning' certain issues that cause none of the above, or to work through issues that do not impair them in any way but cause unnecessary stress. Not everyone who seeks therapy is mentally ill, and it's rather irresponsible to spread the idea that only the ill seek help.
To use a similar analogy to your own, you may have a blemish, but it doesn't mean it needs medical attention.
The woman in the video shows a lot of awareness. She realises she's looking bad and tries to reframe the encounter as her being victimized and claims she's being sexually harassed, instead of being the one doing the bullying, then further tries to exploit the situation and demands a refund. It's all just a little too self-aware and manipulative to come across as mental illness.
Perhaps she is ill, but it's much more likely that she's just a total cow.0 -
Mental illness is characterized by impairment of normal emotional, behavioural, or cognitive function.
Many people go to therapists to get help 'fine-tuning' certain issues that cause none of the above, or to work through issues that do not impair them in any way but cause unnecessary stress. Not everyone who seeks therapy is mentally ill, and it's rather irresponsible to spread the idea that only the ill seek help.
To use a similar analogy to your own, you may have a blemish, but it doesn't mean it needs medical attention.
The woman in the video shows a lot of awareness. She realises she's looking bad and tries to reframe the encounter as her being victimized and claims she's being sexually harassed, instead of being the one doing the bullying, then further tries to exploit the situation and demands a refund. It's all just a little too self-aware and manipulative to come across as mental illness.
Perhaps she is ill, but it's much more likely that she's just a total cow.
If the issues are causing no effect, nevermind on others but on themselves, why would someone seek therapy? An entirely mentally well and healthy person surely doesn't need to tune anything? Sounds more like a life coach sort of therapist.
Also, mentally ill people aren't always completely unaware of themselves. And sometimes they can be a cow before or as well as being mentally ill, if not because of it.
The odds of her being ill or nasty are entirely debatable, none of us can accurately say which is most likely the case.0 -
Widdershins wrote: »If the issues are causing no effect, nevermind on others but on themselves, why would someone seek therapy? An entirely mentally well and healthy person surely doesn't need to tune anything? Sounds more like a life coach sort of therapist.
Also, mentally ill people aren't always completely unaware of themselves. And sometimes they can be a cow before or as well as being mentally ill, if not because of it.
The odds of her being ill or nasty are entirely debatable, none of us can accurately say which is most likely the case.
You know, if you have a problem it doesn't make you mentally ill. If you have a pimple, you don't necessarily need to see a dermatologist, and if you're a nasty piece of work it doesn't necessarily mean you need a psychiatrist - the only person qualified to decide if someone is mentally ill. A therapist is not a psychiatrist, they do not have a medical degree.
If you're in therapy you may very well be mentally ill, or you may not. It's simply not true that ALL people receiving therapy are ill.
Besides, we have no idea if she's in therapy or ill or whatever. All we know is that she's self-aware, exploitative, and pretty reprehensible. We know that for sure. And you can be all those things and mentally ill too, and it still doesn't excuse it in most cases.0 -
Mountainsandh wrote: »But the public is just that, public.
People cannot be expected to "treat" someone with mental health issues, or even to "diffuse" a situation, or "calm" a person down.
If people are able to diffuse a situation and calm down a person, so much the better, but it is not something that should be expected of someone standing in queue to order food.
But fuelling her is grand? Diffusing a situation can be as simply as doing nothing and letting someone wear themselves out. That comes instinctively to a lot of people. This isn't what happened here.0 -
You know, if you have a problem it doesn't make you mentally ill. If you have a pimple, you don't necessarily need to see a dermatologist, and if you're a nasty piece of work it doesn't necessarily mean you need a psychiatrist - the only person qualified to decide if someone is mentally ill. A therapist is not a psychiatrist, they do not have a medical degree.
If you're in therapy you may very well be mentally ill, or you may not. It's simply not true that ALL people receiving therapy are ill.
Besides, we have no idea if she's in therapy or ill or whatever. All we know is that she's self-aware, exploitative, and pretty reprehensible. We know that for sure. And you can be all those things and mentally ill too, and it still doesn't excuse it in most cases.
I think that's a contradiction in terms. If I have a problem with my mental health/wellbeing how can I be entirely mentally healthy at the same time. Not totally off the rails ill but not entirely at peak mental health. R.e the pimple and the dermatologist, that would be a transient skin complaint and not a disease, and I suppose a comparison might be one or two pimples compared to a skin disease like Acne. Which I would go to a dermatologist for.
Mentally, the difference between feeling stressed now and then, and having an anxiety disorder.
Therapist is a bit of a catch all term to me, but maybe it specifically means something to a lot of people, like a psychotherapist? Afaik they provide counselling services and general guidance, but I still don't see why someone would avail of it if they're not troubled in some way at the time. I'm not saying it's a major issue, but the term ''mentally ill'' probably sounds much 'heavier' than I meant it to.
The level of her self awareness is questionable, imo!0 -
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But fuelling her is grand?
I like to think I wouldn't have goaded her even inadvertently, but you have to admit she really provoked them. If I was that provoked and my partner insulted and accusations of sexual impropriety were made just to make me feel bad, I probably wouldn't respond in the perfect way either.
I'd cut them some slack, she was pretty poisonous. They weren't perfect for sure, but I don't really blame them either.0
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