Just had a bit of a barney with a neighbour

Grandeeod

Deleted User wrote: »

Yes. A combination of leaning on their neighbours windowsill and posts on an anonymous forum will ruin the next generation...:)

Simplify it all you like.

ct5amr2ig1nfhp

Sensitive much?

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Yes it is.

anewme

Some people are going on like these are curious toddlers who don't know what they are doing. At 10-12 they know well what they can and can't do. It is their parents responsibility to teach them to respect others, their properties and know boundaries.

Also, you will be aware that kids of this age are involved in petty crimes, including vandalism, theft and burglary.

Not everyone sees their home as bricks and mortar, we were brought up to work and strive to own your own home, you would be safe, no one could take it away from you.

I work hard for what I have and I'm not going to give a Bottle of wine and an apology to someone who abuses me and damages my property. That's just common sense to me, . Maybe it's a council house mentality, but that's how I was brought up, I will be polite to neighbours, but I wont Be a pushover.

Widdershins

Deleted User wrote: »

It looks like crossed wires and lots of upping the ante.

I fundamentally disagree with this whole "my castle" stuff. It's bricks and mortar. Kids will be kids, they'll be nosey. Really not worth falling out with a neighbour, and it's so easily mended.

I guess in my job I've seen neighbours fall out spectacularly, I have seen neighbours throw fortunes at legal battles, years of feuding, physical confrontations, lots of posturing and "I can't take this on my doorstep"/"he can't walk all over us" type talk. I remember one client who lost over 200k in costs after fighting a battle over an extension going a metre into neighbouring lands. He then came to me and asked would I have advised anything different, I gave him the "I'd have told you to go round with a bottle of whiskey and 2 glasses to your neighbour of 30 years"...and he said that in all the people telling him to go for injunctions and fire out writs and appeal and not to take it...not one person had suggested that.

That would be a lovely solution but nightmare neighbours aren't always so easy turned into friends. I have Neanderthal Man for a neighbour. He doesn't wish to be on good terms. Some people are aggressive by default. I think both parties are a bit hotheaded for their own good. What are the chances of either climbing down off their high horses?

Little CuChulainn

Lincoln Better Switchboard wrote: »

Sensitive much?

No

VonLuck

Grandeeod wrote: »

Thanks for pointing that out. However my original opinion still stands. The OP did nothing wrong. Some of the sanctimonious crap on this thread highlights some of the reasons kids grow up to be out of control A-holes. Then they become convicts, solicitors and politicians.

I'd understand if this is a regular occurrence, but if these kids were just behaving innocently (we were all curious when we were young), then I don't see any reason to tell them to FO.

Little CuChulainn

anewme wrote: »

Some people are going on like these are curious toddlers who don't know what they are doing. At 10-12 they know well what they can and can't do. It is their parents responsibility to teach them to respect others, their properties and know boundaries.

Also, you will be aware that kids of this age are involved in petty crimes, including vandalism, theft and burglary.

Not everyone sees their home as bricks and mortar, we were brought up to work and strive to own your own home, you would be safe, no one could take it away from you.

I work hard for what I have and I'm not going to give a Bottle of wine and an apology to someone who abuses me and damages my property. That's just common sense to me, . Maybe it's a council house mentality, but that's how I was brought up, I will be polite to neighbours, but I wont Be a pushover.

Or they could have been just looking at his dog.

Grandeeod

VonLuck wrote: »

I'd understand if this is a regular occurrence, but if these kids were just behaving innocently (we were all curious when we were young), then I don't see any reason to tell them to FO.

The reaction of their father says it all, regardless of being told how he should discipline his kids. Kicking a door? Says it all really. I was innocent once. I was curious too. Never went onto a property without an invite. I have a 9 year old daughter, who wouldn't dare step into a neighbours property to peer in a window at a dog or anything else. This thread is littered with justification and enabling of kids behaviour that isn't right. At the same time its trying to undermine the OP for uttering the words Fcuk Off! He/she was right and if I was told a similar story by my daughter, I'd tell her, serves you right. The next time I'd see that neighbour I'd discuss it in a reasonable fashion, without the macho man BS.

Yourself isit

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The OP had a go at him about his parenting skills before he did that. I think a "go f*** yourself questioning me about my ability to discipline my own children" would be a better response than kicking the door, granted. But for all the aggro in the first post here, the worst that is alleged about the kids is that they stared in a window and leaned on a sill. It's hardly a big deal, it doesn't suggest they are scrotes or whatever else was said about them.

Twice.

What's interesting is not what the kids did, but how they and their parents reacted when accosted.

Kids will be kids. I lived on the edge of an estate in Dublin. Although our house was older than the estate. Just behind us was an even older house with an acre of back garden with some apple trees.

That's going to attract the youth. So we would try to steal the apples in season.

An old man lived there, generally he didn't react or notice, but he knew me by sight. One say he did catch us, or got close enough to shout at us and wave his stick while we scampered over the wall.

Here's what didn't happen.

I didn't go home and tell my folks that the nasty old man whose apples we were stealing from his property shouted at us. My dad didn't upon hearing this go straight to the old man's house and give him a bollocking for shouting at me. He didn't kick the door.

Here's what did happen.

The old man complained. I got the bollocking. Was grounded. Told that I shouldn't be in other people's property etc.

So yeh, kids were kids. But we had parents who reprimanded us for tresspass not the other way around.

anewme

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Or they could have been just looking at his dog.

They could, and I'm not saying for one minute that these particular kids were up to no good, but the fact is that not all Kids of that age are innocent little children who don't know right From wrong and to believe otherwise is very naive of on people's behalf.

The dog was going nuts, obviously distressed, it's the Op's house, he does not want people looking in the window distressing the dog. The neighbours need to teach their kids boundaries. Otherwise, a lot worse will happen than being told to F off by what they see as a narky owlfella.

And mark my words, the Da will kick the wrong door, where not everyone will offer an apology and a bottle of wine as a response.

VonLuck

Grandeeod wrote: »

The reaction of their father says it all, regardless of being told how he should discipline his kids. Kicking a door? Says it all really. I was innocent once. I was curious too. Never went onto a property without an invite. I have a 9 year old daughter, who wouldn't dare step into a neighbours property to peer in a window at a dog or anything else. This thread is littered with justification and enabling of kids behaviour that isn't right. At the same time its trying to undermine the OP for uttering the words Fcuk Off! He/she was right and if I was told a similar story by my daughter, I'd tell her, serves you right. The next time I'd see that neighbour I'd discuss it in a reasonable fashion, without the macho man BS.

But the kicking of the door happened after the kids looked in the window, so how can you justify telling the kids to FO beforehand? There must have been some other reason or past interaction that made him get aggressive from the get go.

__Alex__

Grandeeod wrote: »

Thanks for pointing that out. However my original opinion still stands. The OP did nothing wrong. Some of the sanctimonious crap on this thread highlights some of the reasons kids grow up to be out of control A-holes. Then they become convicts, solicitors and politicians.

"Oh sure, NOW he's just a little boy stealing little toys. But some day he'll be a grown man, stealing stadiums and... quarries"

anewme

VonLuck wrote: »

But the kicking of the door happened after the kids looked in the window, so how can you justify telling the kids to FO beforehand? There must have been some other reason or past interaction that made him get aggressive from the get go.

I would not see a big mystery?

He said the dog was going nuts. Dog barking can go through your head.

The dog barking was probably going through the op's head and seeing the kids making the dog go mad would be enough for the op to tell them to F off to stop the noise.

Then they come back and it all kicks off again.

You can't blame him for being annoyed.

Grandeeod

VonLuck wrote: »

But the kicking of the door happened after the kids looked in the window, so how can you justify telling the kids to FO beforehand? There must have been some other reason or past interaction that made him get aggressive from the get go.

Well then you explore that particular possibility with the OP.

__Alex__

Deleted User wrote: »

But for all the aggro in the first post here, the worst that is alleged about the kids is that they stared in a window and leaned on a sill. It's hardly a big deal, it doesn't suggest they are scrotes or whatever else was said about them.

Deleted User wrote: »

Yes. A combination of leaning on their neighbours windowsill and posts on an anonymous forum will ruin the next generation...:)

Yes, for all the big talk on this thread, this just doesn't seem like that big a deal. We don't even know what these kids are like. I can't imagine myself getting mad at some smiley kid. Maybe it's because I grew up in a very laid back rural community. And all this nonsense about "kids these days, out of control". Please. If anything, children are restricted to their homes far more now than when I was a kid in the 80s and 90s.

Also, I agree that the OP wasn't abusive to the kids. But in the same vein, a kick isn't going to damage a front door and if it does, that's not a very good front door and you need something stronger to protect your homestead. So will people shtop with the "criminal damage" nonsense. That's every bit as melodramatic as saying that the OP was abusive to the kids.

Grandeeod

__Alex__ wrote: »

Yes, for all the big talk on this thread, this just doesn't seem like that big a deal. We don't even know what these kids are like. I can't imagine myself getting mad at some smiley kid. Maybe it's because I grew up in a very laid back rural community. And all this nonsense about "kids these days, out of control". Please. If anything, children are restricted to their homes far more now than when I was a kid in the 80s and 90s.

Quite possibly that is the reason you can't relate to this. Was your childhood home set back from the laneway/small road? Were you surrounded by other one off houses? Or did you live in a small housing estate in that laid back rural community where everyone knew each other and worked locally?

__Alex__

Grandeeod wrote: »

Quite possibly that is the reason you can't relate to this. Was your childhood home set back from the laneway/small road? Were you surrounded by other one off houses? Or did you live in a small housing estate in that laid back rural community where everyone knew each other and worked locally?

We had a lot of houses around. A hamlet, if you will. And we were always going into our neighbours' houses as kids to say hello and kids coming into our garden. It was very normal. None of this trepassing nonsense. They're children. It's all very melodramatic. We don't even know what these kids are like. A lot of empty big talk in this thread that I can see. Stuff that people wouldn't actually do in reality. It doesn't really matter if the OP knows the kids or not. It was just a very hostile way to act towards them unless they were causing trouble. My cousins grew up in a large town and their street was much the same. And don't get me started on the dramatics of "This is why kids are out of control these days". This is probably the most isolated generation of children ever, certainly more isolated than a generation ago.

anewme

__Alex__ wrote: »

Also, I agree that the OP wasn't abusive to the kids. But in the same vein, a kick isn't going to damage a front door and if it does, that's not a very good front door and you need something stronger to protect your homestead. So will people shtop with the "criminal damage" nonsense. That's every bit as melodramatic as saying that the OP was abusive to the kids.

It's not acceptable in any way to kick a persons front door.

It's threatening, intimidation and bullying so stop sugar coating it.

And without being smart, for these of us who live in a Celtic tiger built home, a good kick from a strong man could do damage.

In the estate next to me two houses were broken into in broad daylight by kicking in the front door. The Gardai said two kicks and they were in because the doors are rubbish.

__Alex__

anewme wrote: »

It's not acceptable in any way to kick a persons front door.

Of course it's not. But only to the most litigious of folk is it criminal damage. Do you want to be one of those crazy lawsuit people? Do you? Because calling throwing a kick to a front door criminal damage makes you one of them. You've gone to the dark side.

If someone threw a kick at my front door, I'd be laughing at how silly they've just made themselves look.

professore

Telling kids to go away is one thing. Telling them to fúck off is something else entirely. I would be pissed off if some grown man told a child of mine to fúck off.

And OP you are "that guy" now, the grumpy bollox lives there - he's easy to take a rise out of. Well done.

__Alex__

^^^^

Yes, telling children to fuck off is terribly classless. Rise above it, people, even if they ARE brats.

kittensmittens

anewme wrote: »

Not always...there were two sets of people....those who had just cause...and those(who in the words of my Dad should have a dress on(i.e. Would call about kids fighting even though their own kids were as bad as everyone else's)

Said incident occurred when one moaning neighbour called to the house when the Dad was in work and only the Mam was at home. He proceeded to rant about everyone else's kids and got quite abusive to the woman(said a curse!) think he banged in the side glass as well. . Now, that was seen as just disgraceful. Abusing a woman at her own front door while her husband was in work ? Not the done thing.

Having been given short shrift by the woman, the neighbour made the big mistake of calling back when the husband came home. He got planted into next week week by the husband, "call to the door and abuse a woman(big man!) ". Well you won't abuse MY wife in MY House.

No Gards involved, no solicitors , and everyone just went back to normal.

Anyone that was know to be a constant tormentor of kids was duly ignored by parents in the most part and if they became a nuisance were to to, in the most uncertain terms "not to be darkening the door with stupidity".
Worked both ways.

anewme

__Alex__ wrote: »

Of course it's not. But only to the most litigious of folk is it criminal damage. Do you want to be one of those crazy lawsuit people? Do you? Because calling throwing a kick to a front door criminal damage makes you one of them. You've gone to the dark side.

If someone threw a kick at my front door, I'd be laughing at how silly they've just made themselves look.

Well, personally Id look at it more seriously than laughing because as a woman living alone I'd not tolerate a man kicking at my front door in any way shape or form and would be reporting it as the threatening behaviour that it is and expect it to be dealt with as such.

anewme

[QUOTE=kittensmittens;102920285 "not to be darkening the door with stupidity".
.[/QUOTE]

"Don't darken this door again"..was the exact words my Granny used!

That's just taken me back!

kittensmittens

anewme wrote: »

"Don't darken this door again"..was the exact words my Granny used!

That's just taken me back!

Grannys are great Mine is sadly gone many a year but she was a wonderful and formidable woman

Graces7

Deleted User wrote: »

The OP had a go at him about his parenting skills before he did that. I think a "go f*** yourself questioning me about my ability to discipline my own children" would be a better response than kicking the door, granted. But for all the aggro in the first post here, the worst that is alleged about the kids is that they stared in a window and leaned on a sill. It's hardly a big deal, it doesn't suggest they are scrotes or whatever else was said about them.

Wondering if you have ever lived on an estate etc?

And the problem was that the kids were asked to leave his property and came back. It is that that started this. Not an isolated leaning on a windowsill.. They gave cheek and came back . No respect for privacy or property

Graces7

Deleted User wrote: »

It looks like crossed wires and lots of upping the ante.

I fundamentally disagree with this whole "my castle" stuff. It's bricks and mortar. Kids will be kids, they'll be nosey. Really not worth falling out with a neighbour, and it's so easily mended.

I guess in my job I've seen neighbours fall out spectacularly, I have seen neighbours throw fortunes at legal battles, years of feuding, physical confrontations, lots of posturing and "I can't take this on my doorstep"/"he can't walk all over us" type talk. I remember one client who lost over 200k in costs after fighting a battle over an extension going a metre into neighbouring lands. He then came to me and asked would I have advised anything different, I gave him the "I'd have told you to go round with a bottle of whiskey and 2 glasses to your neighbour of 30 years"...and he said that in all the people telling him to go for injunctions and fire out writs and appeal and not to take it...not one person had suggested that.

Privacy? Sure they will be nosey but they need to respect also.

Graces7

Deleted User wrote: »

The OP told the kids to "f*** off" the first time. The kids were looking in a window. If my neighbours kids were outside my house looking in, I wouldn't tell them to "f*** off" the first time. I'd probably laugh it off. There is no right reaction of course, just different strokes for different folks I guess.

Has it not happened to you then? The kids were in his garden with no reason or purpose other than to annoy and disturb .

And they probably hear a lot worse from dad :rolleyes::eek:

Graces7

Widdershins wrote: »

That would be a lovely solution but nightmare neighbours aren't always so easy turned into friends. I have Neanderthal Man for a neighbour. He doesn't wish to be on good terms. Some people are aggressive by default. I think both parties are a bit hotheaded for their own good. What are the chances of either climbing down off their high horses?

What a wonderful description!

Been there; mine was over 80 though.

Jack the Stripper

Is op still riding neighbour?