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Just had a bit of a barney with a neighbour

12346

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Do you have children, OP?

    And are you male or female?

    Just wondering about the effect of seeing a fella kcking the front door, and whether the gardai treat it differently when it's a woman's door! Although they didn't care when my neighbour kicked/thumped my door, having waited til my boyfriend was away from home, and then waylaid me and roared abuse at me, twice, as I was leaving the house, and I'm female. the point of it is, my boyfriend's a lot bigger than I am)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,733 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    Do you have children, OP?

    And are you male or female?

    Just wondering about the effect of seeing a fella kcking the front door, and whether the gardai treat it differently when it's a woman's door! Although they didn't care when my neighbour kicked/thumped my door, having waited til my boyfriend was away from home, and then waylaid me and roared abuse at me, twice, as I was leaving the house, and I'm female. the point of it is, my boyfriend's a lot bigger than I am)

    Its a very good point. I think it would be disconcerting for anyone to be honest if a neighbor landed a kick on their door, but more disconcerting for some than others.

    Remember a situation in our neighbourhood where a bunch of teenagers in their boyracer were, amongst other things, parking it on the footpath outside a ladies house so she couldn't access her driveway.

    All comes back to the parents - you go to the parents to complain, and if they don't care about it and wont discipline the kids, or even worse they get belligerent about it - then its an upward struggle from there. And I'd imagine there is not much in practice that gardai can do.

    Being threatened in your own home is not a nice situation.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    The OP had a go at him about his parenting skills before he did that. I think a "go f*** yourself questioning me about my ability to discipline my own children" would be a better response than kicking the door, granted. But for all the aggro in the first post here, the worst that is alleged about the kids is that they stared in a window and leaned on a sill. It's hardly a big deal, it doesn't suggest they are scrotes or whatever else was said about them.

    It's not just that they were staring in the window, its also that they were told to go away and yet came back again

    If they did it once that wouldnt be so bad ( mind you I would have a problem with someone on my property peering in the windows), but its the fact that they showed no respect to the property owner and did it again

    If for 1 minute I thought my child was doing this he wouldnt have to worry about the neighbours!!

    Why is it that we must always thread so carefully with kids.? They do wrong they have to be held accountable.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,499 ✭✭✭Sabre0001


    You would have loved someone like Bob Mortimer growing up in your estate!

    🤪



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,624 ✭✭✭Little CuChulainn


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    It's not just that they were staring in the window, its also that they were told to go away and yet came back again

    If they did it once that wouldnt be so bad ( mind you I would have a problem with someone on my property peering in the windows), but its the fact that they showed no respect to the property owner and did it again

    If for 1 minute I thought my child was doing this he wouldnt have to worry about the neighbours!!

    Why is it that we must always thread so carefully with kids.? They do wrong they have to be held accountable.

    It's practically terrorism.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,044 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    It's practically terrorism.

    its a pain in the hole and people should be left to enjoy their homes in peace.

    The narky Dad needs to be responsible for supervising his own children and not expect the OP to entertain them and put up with them staring in the windows any annoying the dog.

    As someone else said, OP's house, OP's rules.

    Narky hole would be probably quick enough to knock in to complain about the dog barking, not mentioning little Johnny is tormenting the thing.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,655 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    Jaysus. With some people saying the OP is out of order, perhaps the OP should put a sign in his garden that says "Children are welcome to lean on my window sill and look through the window" :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    It's practically terrorism.

    Nobody is saying it is!!

    It just manners and boundaries actually, and knowing right from wrong


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,733 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    Anyway......mods maybe time to call on end....not sure this discussion has anywhere left to go......


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Has no-one got blinds or curtains anymore, just bleeding close them! Problem solved. My house is right on a street and if I was to tell everyone who looked in the window to go FO I'd be soon locked up for being the mad woman of the village.

    People need to get over themselves sometimes, kids will be kids. They were looking at the dog for gods sakes.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,733 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    pilly wrote: »
    Has no-one got blinds or curtains anymore, just bleeding close them! Problem solved. My house is right on a street and if I was to tell everyone who looked in the window to go FO I'd be soon locked up for being the mad woman of the village.

    People need to get over themselves sometimes, kids will be kids. They were looking at the dog for gods sakes.

    Sure.

    But that's not what the OP was talking about.

    He was talking about kids coming into his garden and messing.

    Apart from anything else, they break their legs and he'll be facing a big payout.

    I'm sure you'd have no problem putting your hand in your pocket though Pilly.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Tombo2001 wrote: »
    Sure.

    But that's not what the OP was talking about.

    He was talking about kids coming into his garden and messing.

    Apart from anything else, they break their legs and he'll be facing a big payout.

    I'm sure you'd have no problem putting your hand in your pocket though Pilly.

    No, he actually said what freaked him out was them looking in the window.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,733 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    pilly wrote: »
    No, he actually said what freaked him out was them looking in the window.

    Pedantics pal. Looking in the window from the garden. That's quite an intrusion.

    its not the same at all as someone walking past a terraced house with no garden looking in.

    Your choice if you want to equate the two.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    pilly wrote: »
    Has no-one got blinds or curtains anymore, just bleeding close them! Problem solved. My house is right on a street and if I was to tell everyone who looked in the window to go FO I'd be soon locked up for being the mad woman of the village.

    People need to get over themselves sometimes, kids will be kids. They were looking at the dog for gods sakes.

    Wow.. We should all keep our curtains closed ??
    The difference is your house is right on the street but the OP has a lawn at the front so therefore they were on his property.
    Fine, you say they were looking at the dog, but they were told to leave and CAME BACK AGAIN.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,187 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    I wouldn't want any of you people as my neighbours, given that ye've managed to spend three days (so far!) bickering over this! :pac::pac::pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,044 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    jimgoose wrote: »
    I wouldn't want any of you people as my neighbours, given that ye've managed to spend three days (so far!) bickering over this! :pac::pac::pac:

    Then you need to win the lotto or buy a house with a moat.

    Unfortunately, for some of us we cant do that, but it does not mean i'm going to put up with little Johnny trampling my flowers, staring in the windows and tormenting the dog. Control your kids or stop whinging when they are told to FO!

    I probably would have been nice the first time, but part two would have been what part of F off now do you not understand?

    Suggesting people pull their curtains is just nonsense. Pull your own curtains if you want, but I wont and neither will I be putting up with moon faced kids staring in.

    Little Johnny skids on a lump of dog poo and then you have Mummy and Daddy trying to sue for thousands?

    When you live on an Estate, its important to respect peoples privacy and boundaries. Important lesson in growing up for the children. The Da would be better placed teaching his kids to respect adults rather than kicking someones door.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Graces7 wrote: »
    Has it not happened to you then? The kids were in his garden with no reason or purpose other than to annoy and disturb .

    And they probably hear a lot worse from dad :rolleyes::eek:

    But you neither know the intentions of the kids nor what they hear at home. Most things in life are benign and so are the intentions of most kids.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Wow, that's a cynical view of kids. Or was there meant to be a sarcastic face after that?


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    anewme wrote: »
    annoying the dog
    Tombo2001 wrote: »
    messing
    anewme wrote: »
    trampling my flowers, staring in the windows and tormenting the dog.

    As some seem to now just be making up what the kids did, let's use the handy direct quote function before we have them down for violent crime...
    Specialun wrote: »
    So i was up stairs an hour ago and i could hear my dog going nuts barking..a ran down, opened the door to see 3 kids staring in my living room window..they were actually leaning on the window sill. I went out a said go away..10 mins later its off again..

    No messing, no trampling flowers, no tormenting the dog, just staring in a window.

    In fact, the OP implies that they were playing.
    Specialun wrote: »
    They cannot play wherever they feel like just because there kids.

    And he told the kids that were playing to "f*** off". As I said before, it wouldn't be my reaction anyway, each to their own.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,691 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    The OP has disappeared off the thread, I wonder if he has spoke to that neighbour since or if the kids are still peeking through his window.

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,257 ✭✭✭Yourself isit


    You seem to be getting more excited and focussed on me? Relax, deal with the thread.

    Look, I have no doubt you'd swear at kids. And maybe give them a shoe along the way. But don't assume everyone is angry and defensive about their 300 square metres of land. As I said, I'd laugh it off. If kids being kids makes others angry, that's their right, neither response is "more right"...

    I have never sworn at kids on my property. That said if a kid was leaning on my window sill he would have to have the ability to fly.

    I'm reducing it to you because your posts are all about you, how you are more moral than the rest of us, those who "kids being kids" make angry. That post is an excellent example.

    There's the illiberal mob and you the secular Saint; a man who would not only accept any number of pre teens staring in on his living room or bedroom at any time day or night, but one who would treat an irate neighbour who kicked a door to wine.

    However plenty of normal people don't want kids staring in windows - most women, most old people, many singletons and many families (although of course if its your children's friends you generally won't care).

    And they have a right to tell the kids to scramble. And the right to not have their door kicked when they do it. Curses or not.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    I certainly cannot agree with that, rather depressing, view of today's young people. In my experience most are far from bad.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    I certainly cannot agree with that, rather depressing, view of today's young people. In my experience most are far from bad.
    I wouldn't say people are worse than they ever were but there is certainly an ever decreasing sense of personal responsibility in society now. Everything is someone else's fault and children who grow up with this notion are certainlythe poorer for it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 473 ✭✭__Alex__


    anewme wrote: »
    Sorry, but it wouldn't be taken as a civil matter.

    if I give out to kids for being on my property does not change the fact that it's illegal for you to damage my property.

    They are separate incidents.

    You can't just damage people's property or threaten them, these are offences

    Kicking someone's door is not going to damage it in any meaningful way. Will you get a grip.

    I'd imagine telling minors to 'fuck off' also falls into the category of threatening behaviour. ;) If this whole incident was recounted to the guards, they'd humour you and then go on their merry way with a chuckle under their breath. Not that you'd even report it. The internet big talk is strong in this thread.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,713 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    I'd love to hear the dog's version of events.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    __Alex__ wrote: »
    If this whole incident was recounted to the guards, they'd humour you and then go on their merry way with a chuckle under their breath.

    I think some of them would find it hard to suppress laughing outright.

    Kids were playing and the adults have elevated the matter to swearing and kicking doors. Well done adults.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,187 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    anewme wrote: »
    ...When you live on an Estate, its important to respect peoples privacy and boundaries. Important lesson in growing up for the children. The Da would be better placed teaching his kids to respect adults rather than kicking someones door.

    What I notice is, there seems to be a lot of repressed rage in estates, with people going disproportionately off their chumps over minor matters. Is it to do with the close proximity, or what?


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    I have never sworn at kids on my property. That said if a kid was leaning on my window sill he would have to have the ability to fly.

    I'm reducing it to you because your posts are all about you, how you are more moral than the rest of us, those who "kids being kids" make angry. That post is an excellent example.

    There's the illiberal mob and you the secular Saint; a man who would not only accept any number of pre teens staring in on his living room or bedroom at any time day or night, but one who would treat an irate neighbour who kicked a door to wine.

    However plenty of normal people don't want kids staring in windows - most women, most old people, many singletons and many families (although of course if its your children's friends you generally won't care).

    And they have a right to tell the kids to scramble. And the right to not have their door kicked when they do it. Curses or not.

    MOD
    Quit making this about another poster or I will go around to your gaff and kick yer da's door.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    I think some of them would find it hard to suppress laughing outright.

    Kids were playing and the adults have elevated the matter to swearing and kicking doors. Well done adults.

    No the kids were looking through his windows. And came back a 2nd time.
    Im no way saying they should be hauled before the guards but it is not acceptable for kids to do this, especially after being told to stop.
    OP says they were between 10 and 12, which is old enough to know its wrong.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,756 ✭✭✭demanufactured


    If they do it again . .stand in front of the window with wearing nothing only a menacing smile.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    No the kids were looking through his windows.

    They are not mutually exclusive.

    He said they were looking through his windows, and he later asked would others let their kids play on neighbours property which suggests that's all they were up to.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    jimgoose wrote: »
    What I notice is, there seems to be a lot of repressed rage in estates, with people going disproportionately off their chumps over minor matters. Is it to do with the close proximity, or what?

    I know friends in estates who would let neighbours kids wander in their front door and out the back and just shrug their shoulders. They have kids themselves and are just used to kids coming and going.

    Not sure if the OP clarified if he has kids but that might be relevant.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    They are not mutually exclusive.

    He said they were looking through his windows, and he later asked would others let their kids play on neighbours property which suggests that's all they were up to.

    So would you let yours pick a neighbours garden to go and play in and peer in the windows of? At 12 years old? Small kids might not know any different but twelve year olds tend to understand about not randomly wandering into other peoples gardens and gawking through the windows.

    Maybe OP was having a bad day and didn't feel like indulging them? I wouldn't expect others to indulge them if I was their parent.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,044 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    __Alex__ wrote: »
    Kicking someone's door is not going to damage it in any meaningful way. Will you get a grip.

    I'd imagine telling minors to 'fuck off' also falls into the category of threatening behaviour. ;) If this whole incident was recounted to the guards, they'd humour you and then go on their merry way with a chuckle under their breath. Not that you'd even report it. The internet big talk is strong in this thread.

    Kicking someone's door could easy damage it, not sure why you cant see that.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    So would you let yours pick a neighbours garden to go and play in and peer in the windows of? At 12 years old?

    I wouldn't expect to be consulted in advance, so not sure about the "letting" them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,044 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    jimgoose wrote: »
    What I notice is, there seems to be a lot of repressed rage in estates, with people going disproportionately off their chumps over minor matters. Is it to do with the close proximity, or what?

    Only person out of order was yer man kicking the door instead of facing up to his parental responsibilities.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 473 ✭✭__Alex__


    anewme wrote: »
    Kicking someone's door could easy damage it, not sure why you cant see that.

    It's possible but unlikely, considering the homeowner would be partially blocking the door. It's not going at it with a sledgehammer, it's kicking it whilst navigating a person standing in front of it. In all likelihood, that means it was not a strong kick. The melodrama of it all!

    Neither adult in this story is covering themselves in glory.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    The amount of people on here getting enraged on the OP's behalf. OP's probably off getting pissed with the neighbour. Relax lads, it's nearly paddy's day.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,044 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    pilly wrote: »
    The amount of people on here getting enraged on the OP's behalf. OP's probably off getting pissed with the neighbour. Relax lads, it's nearly paddy's day.

    No, somehow I dont think OP going to go for the bottle of wine and an apology suggestion. :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,339 ✭✭✭The One Doctor


    I'm impressed at how the OP managed to turn kids looking into his living room window into a shouting match with potential for violence.

    Then again, I once turned a Boards thread into a real life threat.

    (It wasn't me doing the threatening)

    OP, next time politely ask the kids to desist from their unwanted behaviour. It's amazing what the benefits of being polite are. It might even save you from being stabbed by an enraged father.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭SAMTALK


    They are not mutually exclusive.

    He said they were looking through his windows, and he later asked would others let their kids play on neighbours property which suggests that's all they were up to.

    If all they were doing was "playing" why couldnt they do that in their own garden?


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    SAMTALK wrote: »
    If all they were doing was "playing" why couldnt they do that in their own garden?

    Because they are kids.

    Not sure why you put "playing" in inverted comes, the word was used by the OP. If you think they were doing something more nefarious, you should take it up with the OP.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭pablo128


    pilly wrote: »
    Has no-one got blinds or curtains anymore, just bleeding close them! Problem solved. My house is right on a street and if I was to tell everyone who looked in the window to go FO I'd be soon locked up for being the mad woman of the village.

    People need to get over themselves sometimes, kids will be kids. They were looking at the dog for gods sakes.
    I tried pulling the curtains, and they thumped the sh1t out of the window then. What's your solution to that? Turn up the telly?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    pablo128 wrote: »
    I tried pulling the curtains, and they thumped the sh1t out of the window then. What's your solution to that? Turn up the telly?

    Didn't realise so many people had this problem. :P If someone is thumping the **** out of the window that's an entirely different scenario altogether.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,264 ✭✭✭✭Grandeeod


    Lots of rural one off housing attitude on display here. A real quaint picture being painted at the expense of others and their opinions. Try living in a large housing estate in an urban area. Private or council. Yes we are all technically on top of each other and it carries a lot of problems and issues with it.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Grandeeod wrote: »
    Lots of rural one off housing attitude on display here. A real quaint picture being painted at the expense of others and their opinions. Try living in a large housing estate in an urban area. Private or council. Yes we are all technically on top of each other and it carries a lot of problems and issues with it.

    I think that was suggested earlier, that people in estates may be angrier and edgier - presumably as a result of living in such close proximity to others. Maybe a higher sensitivity to crime which manifests itself in swearing at kids playing, kicking doors etc. Rural communities might tend to be more cohesive and settled, if my neighbours kids were playing in my garden I'd probably text the parents to make sure they knew where they were in case they had gone missing, but it would be no real bother to me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,264 ✭✭✭✭Grandeeod


    I think that was suggested earlier, that people in estates may be angrier and edgier - presumably as a result of living in such close proximity to others. Maybe a higher sensitivity to crime which manifests itself in swearing at kids playing, kicking doors etc. Rural communities might tend to be more cohesive and settled, if my neighbours kids were playing in my garden I'd probably text the parents to make sure they knew where they were in case they had gone missing, but it would be no real bother to me.

    You enjoy your rural setting so. Try to be less condescending towards housing estates and while you are trying that out, how about you stop trying to discuss aspects of housing estates that you know nothing about and perhaps judge based on your profession.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Grandeeod wrote: »
    condescending...
    Grandeeod wrote: »
    Lots of rural one off housing attitude on display here. A real quaint picture...

    Are you saying that living in housing estates mean it is acceptable for adults to swear at kids and kick doors? I know people who live in estates and manage to get by without that behaviour. Perhaps they lack your insight and don't know how things should be done?

    Maybe they could learn to live more like us country bumpkins and relax a little...if anything it would help the blood pressure if they could just laugh at the sight of kids peering in a window?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,264 ✭✭✭✭Grandeeod


    Are you saying that living in housing estates mean it is acceptable for adults to swear at kids and kick doors? I know people who live in estates and manage to get by without that behaviour. Perhaps they lack your insight and don't know how things should be done?

    Maybe they could learn to live more like us country bumpkins and relax a little...if anything it would help the blood pressure if they could just laugh at the sight of kids peering in a window?

    Seriously Conor you are not in a district court now and moving goalposts to make your point won't wash with me. Just be yourself.

    That said, you haven't a clue about urban living, beyond what you may have experienced in your profession. I say this with respect as you obviously never grew up in an urban environment. Lots of people live happily in housing estates. However housing estates are very different places to rural Ireland/areas and issues such as the OPs are quite common. In fact I could quote even worse issues from experience. I think you have trivialised the circumstances in the OP. What's acceptable in a housing estate is a completely different world to your view, which you appear to accept by suggesting there is something to be learned from (as you say) country bumpkins. I related to the OP because I grew up in housing estates and I have seen many versions of the door kicking parent. It can also come down to a garden wall backing onto a green area and the owners or even renters getting peeved off at kids sitting up on said wall glaring into the garden/house. A really simple yet common issue. Tell the kids off and you may be on the receiving end of an angry parent. Whats lacking is basic manners and behaviour and respect for some semblence of privacy.


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