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Why people have children

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    #182
    sashafierce
    Registered Users Posts: 3,599 ✭✭✭sashafierce


    This post has been deleted.


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    #183
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    whoopsadoodles wrote: »
    Aw thanks hun xoxox

    Good comeback. So your 'point' was nonsense then.


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    #184
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    sashafierce wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Please don't have any children.


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    #185
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    REM76 wrote: »
    My problem is not someone not wanting children, it's the bull**** excuses they use.....population control, don't have the money, my career is too important, have dogs/cats, and my favourite "I don't like children". That's the best one....the moronic assumption that they would have the same feeling for their own child as they would for the one crying in Tesco.

    Give me a break, if they were honest about it and admitted they wouldn't be able for it, I'd have respect for them.

    If they don't want kids, that's prerogative - it doesn't mean they wouldn't be able for it. Better than popping out a load of sprogs that they don't give two shíts about.


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    #186
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    REM76 wrote: »
    So your mother regrets having you. That's not something I'd be openly admitting. Although I haven't met your mother, she may have a very good point.

    Why wouldn't I?
    It wasn't my fault she had me and my brothers. It was a decision she made, but under pressure, and a decision she regrets. She's not a very maternal type, never felt she wanted to be a mother, never had much patience with children or teenagers. But the done thing at the time was to marry and have babies, and she simply wasn't one to buck the trend.

    I do admire her for being honest now, though, rather than continuing the lies that caused her to make the wrong choice.


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    #187
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    If they don't want kids, that's prerogative - it doesn't mean they wouldn't be able for it. Better than popping out a load of sprogs that they don't give two shíts about.

    It does mean they wouldn't be able for it. There's no other way to cloak it. They are not able to take on being a parent and raising a child. They are not willing or fit to take it on.


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    #188
    Malari
    Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    REM76 wrote: »
    Weak genes. They die out because weak people aren't able or willing to put their needs aside and raise a child (those with the choice obviously), therefore no weak genes passed on.

    I think some fella called Darwin mentioned it before.

    It's a good thing, a very good thing. Been happening in the animal kingdom for centuries.

    Ah, I see, the gene coding for "weakness of character".

    :D:D:D:D:D


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    #189
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    Christalmighty, that must be rough to hear from your own mother. What way did she express this towards you? Did she show love towards you?



    Would your mother's attitude spring from your grandmother? Did she express regret at having children to your mother who in turn did the same thing to you?

    I have to say that sounds like a pretty unpleasant family dynamic.

    She always did her best, as did my grandmother. But they both of them realised that caring for children simply wasn't anything that came naturally to them, or anything they particularly enjoyed. I don't see anything wrong with it, some people enjoy that, others don't. The notion that everything would be different once the kids are your own is mighty naive in my view.

    I'm not sure my mom's attitude would come from my gran - it took my gran a lot longer to be honest. From what I understand, at the time she herself had been putting pressure on my mother to have babies. Because, "What should we say to the neighbours?", you know? ;)

    Why would people think it's rough, though? I knew my mom was rubbish around children, that wasn't exactly news to me. She really did her best, she did look after us well, we all turned out ok, but it wasn't a secret to anyone with eyes in their head that it was a chore not a joy for her.
    It's a lottery who you get born to.


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    #190
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    Shenshen wrote: »
    Why wouldn't I?
    It wasn't my fault she had me and my brothers. It was a decision she made, but under pressure, and a decision she regrets. She's not a very maternal type, never felt she wanted to be a mother, never had much patience with children or teenagers. But the done thing at the time was to marry and have babies, and she simply wasn't one to buck the trend.

    I do admire her for being honest now, though, rather than continuing the lies that caused her to make the wrong choice.

    Sounds like the script for Psycho. "Buck the trend", it wasn't wearing flares, people have been having children for hundreds of thousands of years.

    Man that is one messed up family. Good luck with that, rather you than me.


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    #191
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    REM76 wrote: »
    It does mean they wouldn't be able for it. There's no other way to cloak it. They are not able to take on being a parent and raising a child. They are not willing or fit to take it on.

    Well, then, isn't it better they realise that before they have children? :confused:
    Weren't you the one blaming people who say they just don't want to have children for being stupid and dishonest somehow?


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    #192
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    REM76 wrote: »
    Sounds like the script for Psycho. "Buck the trend", it wasn't wearing flares, people have been having children for hundreds of thousands of years.

    Man that is one messed up family. Good luck with that, rather you than me.

    Sorry, but I have to ask : Are you honestly trying to say that you never noticed that while some people are good with children, others aren't? This can't be the first time you heard of that.


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    #193
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    Shenshen wrote: »
    Sorry, but I have to ask : Are you honestly trying to say that you never noticed that while some people are good with children, others aren't? This can't be the first time you heard of that.

    I have heard of people regretting having children due to not being love with partner, stuck in hometown etc.

    I have never heard someone say they would prefer not to have had their actual child.

    I have never, ever heard of a mother telling her child I wish I never had you, except in the aforementioned film Psycho, which was fictional.


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    #194
    Jack the Stripper
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,203 ✭✭✭Jack the Stripper


    REM76 wrote: »
    Jack, when you have children, you tend not to worry about this kind of thing. You get a better perspective on what matters in life.

    Like I said, you'll turn into a man one day.

    Is it 3 or 5 years pcp you took out?


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    #195
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    REM76 wrote: »
    I have heard of people regretting having children due to not being love with partner, stuck in hometown etc.

    I have never heard someone say they would prefer not to have had their actual child.

    I have never, ever heard of a mother telling her child I wish I never had you, except in the aforementioned film Psycho, which was fictional.

    Well, isn't it nice that she didn't say that, so?
    She simply said that for her, having children had been a mistake. She never turned to any of us telling us she wished we didn't exist. I don't for a moment doubt that she loves all of us.

    I'd say google it, there are actually plenty of people out there who regret having had children.


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    #196
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    Jack the Stripper wrote: »
    Is it 3 or 5 years pcp you took out?

    Jack you still don't get it, as you are not a man yet. You're not ready for it. It's ok, we've all been there. I remember thinking that people that didn't like the Prodigy,who mowed their lawn at the weekend and brought their children to crappy childrens' playgrounds were all sad and not as cool as me.

    Then I grew up.

    And one day Jack, you will too.


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    #197
    jameorahiely
    Registered Users Posts: 825 ✭✭✭jameorahiely


    Why do some people think that others have to explain to them why the do/do not have children?

    I'd give some glib answer, I wouldn't be explaining myself.


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    #198
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    Shenshen wrote: »
    I'd say google it, there are actually plenty of people out there who regret having had children.

    I'm sure there is. Google can find any amount of oddballs.


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    #199
    sashafierce
    Registered Users Posts: 3,599 ✭✭✭sashafierce


    This post has been deleted.


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    #200
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    jameorahiely wrote: »
    Why do some people think that others have to explain to them why the do/do not have children?

    I'd give some glib answer, I wouldn't be explaining myself.

    If I were you, I'd just be honest and say you're not ready/fit/able for it. No need to lie.


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    #201
    Jack the Stripper
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,203 ✭✭✭Jack the Stripper


    Time to stop feeding it.


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    #202
    jameorahiely
    Registered Users Posts: 825 ✭✭✭jameorahiely


    REM76 wrote: »
    If I were you, I'd just be honest and say you're not ready/fit/able for it. No need to lie.

    Yeah, and hide my kids under the bed when they visit to enquire about my status :pac:


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    #203
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    jameorahiely wrote: »
    Yeah, and hide my kids under the bed when they visit to enquire about my status :pac:

    Well, no need then. It's a fairly normal thing to be asked, I don't know why you would feel the need to lie.


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    #204
    REM76
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭REM76


    Jack the Stripper wrote: »
    Time to stop feeding it.

    When you're beaten, call "troll".

    Jack, you are definitely not ready for it. 20 years from now, things will look a lot different. Hang in there, we're all rooting for you.


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    #205
    JamboMac
    Registered Users Posts: 3,952 ✭✭✭JamboMac


    abdulabduler wrote: »
    Ireland has(still?) the highest birth rates in European Union. I was thinking why would anyone want to have children. Seems to me like a self inflicted torture. Screaming, shouting pooping, huge responsibility for absolute minimum of 18 years. I was thinking maybe Ireland has highest birth rate because abortion is illegal? So people who don't want children are still forced to have unwanted children which results in abuse and children growing up and resorting to crime (proven by studies). For example Germany has lowest birth rate in Europe, can someone explain to me correlation between the birth rates of Ireland and Germany?


    Old article from Irish times
    I doubt much has changed


    IRELAND HAS the highest birth rate in Europe, according to the latest statistics from the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI).

    The birth rate of 17 per 1,000 of population, up from 14.4 per 1,000 in 2000, was the highest of any of the 27 countries of the European Union in 2009, according to the Perinatal Statistics Report 2009 published yesterday.

    How else do they get their council house?


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    #206
    timmy_mallet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,165 ✭✭✭timmy_mallet


    The only thing worse than having kids, is having no kids.


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    #207
    jameorahiely
    Registered Users Posts: 825 ✭✭✭jameorahiely


    REM76 wrote: »
    Well, no need then. It's a fairly normal thing to be asked, I don't know why you would feel the need to lie.

    Not in my experience, it's usually just the nosey ****s that grill me on these things. I lie out of principle.

    Did you ever think there are people who can't have kids and find it painful to delve in to the nitty gritty of why?


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    #208
    mzungu
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,307 Mod ✭✭✭✭mzungu


    timmy_mallet wrote: »
    The only thing worse than having kids, is having no kids.

    Nope. Have kids if you want them, or don't have kids if you know it is not for you. Both are equally valid choices.


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    #209
    timmy_mallet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,165 ✭✭✭timmy_mallet


    Anyone without kids gets a 95% reduction on their pension, my kids shouldn't be paying for your disrespect to society...


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    #210
    jameorahiely
    Registered Users Posts: 825 ✭✭✭jameorahiely


    timmy_mallet wrote: »
    Anyone without kids gets a 95% reduction on their pension, my kids shouldn't be paying for your disrespect to society...

    And a 95% reductuon in taxes. Why should they pay for childrens allowance, schools, childrens hospital, playgrounds etc
    Seems fair


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    #211
    timmy_mallet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,165 ✭✭✭timmy_mallet


    jameorahiely wrote: »
    timmy_mallet wrote: »
    Anyone without kids gets a 95% reduction on their pension, my kids shouldn't be paying for your disrespect to society...

    And a 95% reductuon in taxes. Why should they pay for childrens allowance,  schools,  childrens hospital,  playgrounds etc
    Seems fair
    If you want that, then no benefits for you of anything any person born after you started paying tax creates/generates etc, agreed?


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