Hard to handle life right now.

Manitoban

Best wishes for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you.

Penny Tration

Good luck today, bear. I'll be thinking of you, your wife and your baby.

JanaMay

Thinking of you today. I've been in a similar situation and it can be lonely and scary. Sending positive thoughts to Baby Bear.

bear1

The results have come in.
I wish I could say I'm typing this with a smile on my face but alas it was not meant to be.
We've been told that the child does indeed have legs but it's organs are growing outside it's skin which is very bad.
The baby has been given a very low chance of survival which has just devasted our worlds.
I've left work cause I simply broke down and couldn't string a sentence together, picked up smoking again which I thought would calm me down but nothing.
I'm sorry to my wife for this and wish I could give her the news she wants to hear but I'm just.. speechless I guess.
Surgery is being planned for next week to see what can be done but I am suspecting that it will be confirmed the child will not survive.
Simply lost.

Stheno

I'm very sorry to hear that bear.

Don't be beating yourself up, maybe go home and spend the day with your wife if you can?

muddypaws

I'm so sorry OP, I'm trying to think of the right words to use, but nothing seems to be right. Take care of yourselves.

Lollipops23

bear1 I am so very sorry to hear that. It's the worst news any parent could get. Be kind to yourself and your OH right now. Do you have family that can help you cope right now?

Jrop

I'm so sorry to hear that Bear.

bear1

Stheno wrote: »

I'm very sorry to hear that bear.

Don't be beating yourself up, maybe go home and spend the day with your wife if you can?

I've taken time off, no idea when I'll go back to work and same has been agreed with my boss.

Lollipops23 wrote: »

bear1 I am so very sorry to hear that. It's the worst news any parent could get. Be kind to yourself and your OH right now. Do you have family that can help you cope right now?

We do have family yes but I don't know whether want to have people around us or not. Can't even explain it properly.

Musketeer4

I'm sorry to hear of the bad news.

I don't know what to say only advise you both to take some time of off work and be there for eachother and decide what the next move is going to be.

RobertKK

Sorry to hear that news bear1.

You have gotten good advice above and I can't help apart from say, to keep sharing here if it helps you.
We all hoped the news would have been good, but it was not to be, but we are all still here for you.

Gmol

Ah God, I'm really sorry that you received such news, focus on yourself and your wife, that's the only priority right now.
Wishing you both well

meforever

Stay calm ..........Someone somewhere may have a solution to what appears to be a most difficult situation .

Buford T. Justice XIX

Sorry to hear you got bad news, bear1, you are in all our thoughts today.

Take care of yourself and your wife and child, it's a very rough time but you will manage.

Karmella

I can only imagine how heartbreaking that news was So sorry to hear it.

My thoughts are with you xx

RandomName2

I think there's a great thing about this thread.

Anybody can be looked at and considered fine: with a family, loving wife, job and roof over their heads, but that doesn't sometimes bear any relation to the personal pressures people are experiencing at the time.

I think it's probably really important for people in Ireland to start discussing, in a clear, practical way, the sort of shít they're having to deal with. If the relative anonymity of boards is the way to do this, all well and good.

IrishZeus

Bear, I'm so sorry to hear your news.

I don't know if this is any consolation but myself and my wife went through something similar. We spent the last few years in very tight and difficult financial circumstances where I was also deeply unhappy in my job due to a bullying boss. We also had and still have issues with pregnancies and babies.

We have two little girls. Our first was born premature and we were told from 20 weeks on that there were developmental issues and risks and we had to have detailed scans every 2 weeks. We were being checked at every scan to see if a section was required. She is now a healthy and happy 22 month old and she is absolutely thriving. On our second, she was found to have an anomoly on her kidney which is considered to be at the "severe" end of the specturm and while we are still awaiting further scans and a date for surgery which will be required in the next month or two, she's 5 months old now and is a happy, content child and will continue to be after.

Somebody said earlier, that if you're going through hell, keep going. Both my wife and I have felt battered and beaten the last few years but we are coming near the end. I've changed jobs since and am now running my own company. We restructured our debt and now have financial freedom. Our first daughter is as healthy and as happy as can be, depsite the 6 months of hardship and torture that we went through. Our second daughter will get her scan, will get her surgery and will be completely sorted in a matter of months. Things will get better.

Three years ago, I sat on the floor of my sitting room and cried my eyes out at how things were. There was no light at the end of the tunnel (and that was before the kids!) Now, a few years later, things are almost back to normal.

Keep your head up. Look after your family first and foremost and forget about everything else as much as you possibly can. Don't borrow trouble - deal with the here and now and I can promise you that things will come together for you in the future. Most of all - remember the positives. Remind yourself of them all the time. When I felt down, I thought about my wife, my kids, my family - everything positive that I have and how lucky I am to have them.

Wishing you and your family all the best.

P.

I'm sorry to hear your news bear, I can't imagine how stressed you are. Don't feel you have to be strong or brave, just hang onto your wife and get one another through this. Don't ask anything more of yourself than to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and just get through each day at a time.

You'll get a clearer picture of what your options are, and when you do, yourself, your wife and medical team will come up with a plan. When you have something to work to, you won't feel so lost.

Try remember that even if the worst happens, you will get through it. It's no consolation I know, but others have been where you are right now, and they got through it too. For now, just hang in there, and hang onto your wife because you need each other right now.

I'm thinking of you and your family, I really wish you nothing but the best and I'm so sorry you didn't have more heartening news.

Poochie05

Hi Bear,
I am really sorry to hear this news for you.
All I can say is you never know what you can handle until you are going through it. And you will surprise yourself. The most important thing is not to shut yourself down, especially from your wife. If you feel like sitting in a dark room, do it together, hold each other, during the day give each other a glance and a nod every now and again, even if you cannot bring yourselves to talk about it. If you need to get out and be in denial for a while, do that, just make sure to say that is what you are doing. Or go out together with your child. Sometimes the innocence and straightforwardness can be a welcome distraction.
You don't have to be 'strong' for her, even though you may be processing this in different ways, be sure not to close your emotions away. Focus on the present, we cannot predict the future and it is normally not nearly as bleak as we imagine. The human spirit is quite resilient and copes in extraordinary ways. Be kind to yourself and your family. You are in my thoughts.

KERSPLAT!

Can't imagine what you're going through. Look after yourself

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Extremely sorry to read that Bear. Just look after each other.

Lucyfur

Sending you a gentle hug. I'm so sorry today wasn't positive for you and your wife. Just hold each other and go with whatever emotions you feel. There's no right or wrong way to feel x

Ah Bear, I am so very sorry to hear that All I can say to you is to mind each other right now. The road ahead will be tough but you'll get there xx

HiGlo

I am very sorry to hear your news. I hope you're doing ok.
Look after yourself and your family.

PlamenDon

Sorry to hear that Bear, just do the best you can.

shamrock2004

I'm so sorry to hear the news about the little one pal, my heart bleeds for you and your wife. I wish you all the positivity in the world during this dark period. Things will get better.

volchitsa

I'm so sorry to hear that, Bear. It's an unbearable thing to have to experience, and yet you will find the strength to get through it, together, even if that seems unimaginable at the minute. Thinking of you, both of you, and the baby.

La.de.da

I've very little words for you OP only to say I'm sorry to hear of your situation. It's unimaginably cruel.
Keep posting here if it helps, it helps to have a place to vent.

mansize

Bear, as all the others have said very sorry to hear your news.

The medical professionals and the website of the support group above are best placed to help you both through this difficult time.

Thinking of you.

Autosport

Thinking of you Bear "hugs"