If you were in charge, what rules would you make?

Winterlong

Winterlong wrote: »

Just so we are clear- would eating an animal be considered abuse?!

I'm not going to make everyone vegan!
Although I think vegetarian Tuesdays might be in my manifesto.

Winterlong

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm not going to make everyone vegan!
Although I think vegetarian Tuesdays might be in my manifesto.

Good, you have my vote!

maudgonner

I'd make the 5-a-day fruit and veg rule include chips.

All scientists would be put to work on a way to make chips healthy. Oh, crisps too.

RobertKK

We lack a good concentration camp in this country, so I would fix that.
If I was in charge, we wouldn't need the Dail, so I would make Kilkenny the capital of Ireland again, lets face it, the medieval city is just a beautiful place to be.
The presidency would be abolished and all retired politicians under 66 would get no pension and it would be limited to the average wage of the country. If they protest they can take a long holiday in my concentration camp.
My drone program would take out known drug dealers and their bosses as these people will be declared enemies of the state and enemies of the people of Ireland. Persistent drug users will be given a long holiday in my concentration camp.
Cannabis will be legalised for medicinal use.
Rugby would be banned as I don't like it.
The Angelus would continue on state TV and radio, but on TV it will be video of me with people adoring me waving flags with my image on it.
Speaking of the state media, most of the people would be fired for those who show a bias towards me. Any dissent and they can take a long holiday in my concentration camp.

osarusan

From the last time this thread came about:

osarusan wrote: »

Anybody caught not picking up their dog's crap will be forced to take off their shoe, put the crap inside, then put their foot back into their shoe and walk home.

I also posted something about it being the law that Limerick FC had to win every game, but that's happening now anyway.

Conall Cernach

I would allow swords to be carried openly. Duelling would be legalised among people who carry swords but the state would provide referees. If you're in a pub and some bloke spills your pint or gives your woman the eye if he's wearing a sword then you could challenge him to a duel but if not then normal rules apply. If he accepts then you'd go down to the local duelling field and fill out a duelling application form.

Staff in social welfare offices would be able to press a button releasing a trapdoor down which those taking the piss would disappear. They'd get one free button press a month that would not be questioned. This could be extended to all of those working in a public facing role.

Golf would not be banned but golf courses would be forced to keep a pack of wolves on their grounds who are allowed roam freely and devour whomever they desire.

Garda uniform would include a 3 day growth of stubble and an obligatory matchstick between the teeth. They would address everyone as either "Punk" or "Citizen". All Gardaí of superintendent or inspector rank would be angry black men.

An employee upon being let go or fired gets one free "**** on the bosses desk". Alternatively they get 1 minute unsupervised in the stationery cupboard.

All porn websites would automatically erase themselves from your hard drive upon closing the browser.

Dial Hard

A few more:

11. Wearing of sports jerseys on non-match days will be outlawed.

12. People who set unmonitored house alarms when leaving the house are going in the gulag.

13. All restaurants will be required to have a separate, soundproof area for families with young children.

14. Using the word "cheeky" in conjunction with the consumption of any food or drink item will result in immediate expulsion from the country.

15. Kitten heels shall be banned.

corner of hells

Dial Hard wrote: »

A few more:

11. Wearing of sports jerseys on non-match days will be outlawed.

12. People who set unmonitored house alarms when leaving the house are going in the gulag.

13. All restaurants will be required to have a separate, soundproof area for families with young children.

14. Using the word "cheeky" in conjunction with the consumption of any food or drink item will result in immediate expulsion from the country.

15. Kitten heels shall be banned.

Sir , as an addition to part 14. I'd like to add a good kicking prior to the expulsion

Aglomerado

I would banish to my gulag:

Boy racers with loud exhausts
People with sunglasses on top of heads and no intention of putting them on their face
People wearing flipflops anywhere other than the beach
Noisy eaters
People who can't say please or thank you
Smelly people (Not just BO but Lynx etc too)
The guy who designed the Citroen C4 Cactus (yuck)
People who park next to me when mine is the only other car in the carpark

mansize

mikeym wrote: »

I would take back the 6 counties and I would also ban the import of British Tea e.g. Tetleys, Pg tips. The good people of the north have been drinking crap tea for decades

Lyons and Barrys tea is way nicer even the Aldi tea is nicer than the British muck they call tea.

Free Tea for those who are depressed. A good old cup of tea and a chat cheers most people up.

I would also have more Bank Holidays and would extend the opening hours of off-licences and nightclubs at the weekends.

Lyons/PG Tips are both processed in Manchester UK

Winterlong

Middle lane hoggers get fed to the pigs.

corner of hells

Nose breathers , the loud variety , shall get thier nostils stitched closed with fishing line.

Eating with your mouth open , your lower lip shall be nailed to a pick axe handle.

quickbeam

Zaph wrote: »

- A breeding program involving willing Irish women and Lionel Messi will be instigated in an effort to breed a future generation of footballers who might actually be able to kick a ball without falling over.

Does Messi also have to be willing, or will he be kidnapped and forced into it?

dark crystal

Repeal the law on Good Friday alcohol sales.

Allow Off-Licences to open until pub closing times.

People who park over two spaces will be chained to their car and made to wear a dunce hat for 3 hours.

Not using an indicator - 2 points on your licence each time.

4 day working week

TV Licence fee only payable if you actually watch Irish channels.

Religion and Irish to become optional subjects at school, not mandatory. Replace them with useful subjects instead.

Collie D

quickbeam wrote: »

Does Messi also have to be willing, or will he be kidnapped and forced into it?

I'd imagine a lot of the Barcelona hipsters would be willing to jerk him off while he sleeps

Shint0

quickbeam wrote: »

Does Messi also have to be willing, or will he be kidnapped and forced into it?

I'm sure he would participate willingly if we clear his tax bill for him.

BraveDonut

Whoever invented the USB connection would get a good kick in the b0ll0x and told to redesign it so that it goes in both ways round

Collie D

BraveDonut wrote: »

Whoever invented the USB connection would get a good kick in the b0ll0x and told to redesign it so that it goes in both ways round

Thank you...I have gone through years of torment thinking I was the only ****ing eejit doing that

mansize

All sports except Rugby Union are banned.

Muahahaha

Ormus wrote: »

A special driving licence allowing one to drive having consumed up to 5 alcoholic drinks if one can pass a special stringent driving test (conducted offroad at a special training centre) having consumed 10 alcoholic drinks (under supervision).

Hello Michael Healy-Rae :pac:

Collie D

Muahahaha wrote: »

Hello Michael Healy-Rae :pac:

In fairness to Michael he doesn't want the whole country pissed at the wheel...just his regulars

ahnowbrowncow

If someone is consistently driving 10% under the speed limit you'll be allowed bump into the back of them until they get the message and stop wasting your life.

Oymyakon

I'd ban fat people from driving cars

branie2

I'd get rid of the government, and have us ruled by philosopher kings

Wanderer78

implementation of a public banking system immediately, amongst other things

bonzodog2

No TV licence
No Motor tax, transfer to levy on fuel
Reform sentencing
Reform insurance payouts leading to scandalous premiums
Special 'crested' school jumpers gone
Control the schoolbook publishers changing the books every couple of years so they can't be re-used by siblings
No more 'workbooks' where pupils fill in answers to an otherwise re-usable printed material - exercise books were fine
No more wasting Garda time taking non-fine-payers to jail for less than a day inside
Increased community service instead of fines, or take the fine out of SW payments/wages
No more 'poor box donations' in court
NEED an iPad for school? NO! A cheaper Android would do fine

I'm done for now....

Wonzy

Naked fridays

RayM

Oymyakon wrote: »

I'd ban fat people from driving cars

I'd ban people with terrible opinions from the internet.

Superhorse

Massive social housing programme

Make corporations pay more tax

The immediate abolishment of the TV licence fee

Scrap car tax and make it payable at the pump (the more you drive the more you pay)

Any citizen of the republic who doesn't vote at a general election because they are too lazy should be fined directly or through taxes/welfare etc..

Stop forcing students to do Irish in school and force them to do at least 1 hour of sports every day. Also make sports a part of the leaving cert.

And finally we inform the European union that we are to hold a referendum in 2017 to leave/stay in the EU.

rubadub

reason vs religion wrote: »

It's somewhat more socially acceptable for men to go without shaving than women to go without sanitary pads. Women are expected also to shave.

there are reusable alternatives to sanitary pads, washable ones and cup devices.

The shaving thing is more fashion. There was a recent thread about women wearing high heels at work, some making out like women were being forced to do so by men or for their benefit. But almost invariably when I hear women asked if they wear high heels, makeup, or shave their legs for the benefit of men or to attract men they almost always say no way in hell, they do it "for themselves" or to impress other women, making it very clear they do not give a damn what men think -some will admit otherwise of course.

reason vs religion wrote: »

It's not the mere fact that it's essential; it's that it is an essential that is required of only half the population.

In the (also ludicrous) free food example most organisations say men require 500kcal more per day than women, so would have to be subsidised in that way if there was "free food".

If you want to talk about the clean up after involuntary bodily emissions then if there are free sanitary towels there should similarly be allowances for semen emission, involuntary "nocturnal emmissions" so give them money for new sheets or washing powder, dry cleaning or some male sanitary towel.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_emission

The frequency of nocturnal emissions is highly variable. Some reported that it is due to being sexually inactive, with no engagement in either intercourse or masturbation. Some men have experienced large numbers of nocturnal emissions as teenagers, while others have never experienced one. In the U.S., 83% of men will experience nocturnal emissions at some time in their life.[5] For males who have experienced nocturnal emissions the mean frequency ranges from 0.36 times per week (about once every three weeks) for single 15-year-old males to 0.18 times per week (about once every five-and-a-half weeks) for 40-year-old single males. For married males the mean ranges from 0.23 times per week (about once per month) for 19-year-old married males to 0.15 times per week (about once every two months) for 50-year-old married males.