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I need feminism because... [READ FIRST POST BEFORE POSTING]

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  • bluewolf wrote: »
    Any nuns hanging around the beaches

    On a side point, back in 1959 when Vatican II came about, a lot of nuns struggled with the change from traditional wimple garb to the more modern habit of a veil with black and white and skirt below the knee. I think though that most orders let each nun decide for themselves what to wear, or they voted on a new type of uniform. From what I can gather from a nun who lived through the changeover, all the nuns in her convent were glad to get rid of the wimple but they did feel a bit exposed at first.

    Nowadays most orders don't have a dress code in most communities but often might have a nun-type veil, blouse and skirt for certain dressier occasions (maybe like meeting the pope or something :D) but they really can wear whatever they like - trousers or any kind of colours.

    But the most important point is that these are communities of women who, if they have chosen to wear a 'uniform', then it was a democratic vote by only women of the particular order, not a diktat from men Rome or the diocese.






  • Going by the trailer, this'll be a tough watch.

    And ya know, some of the comments...




  • I feel the need too comment here because i don't think women have any idea of the extent off the prejudice men can face also

    As a man I fell unemployed for 18 months starting in 2008

    The first couple of months were ok but after a while I started to notice alot off people's reaction started to change
    towards me the minute they found out I was unemployed,and most off these people were women

    It's very hard to explain this prejudice because it's done so insidiously

    many times i was out talking to certain women and the minute they found out i was unemployed the whole vibe changed towards me
    and usually that's where our conversation ended,This had a huge effect on my confidence
    It was like I lost my whole identity and I started to fall into a very dark place

    Luckily I moved abroad and and changed the whole thing around and became very successful in a field i never
    taught was possible

    women have to understand where alot off the hate from men comes from ,because the sexism we face has no words no actions
    but is done insidiously and so can't be proven or talked about ,but it's there

    I think that's why a lot off the famous male stand-up comedians are so clinical towards women because they too at one time
    in their life experienced this insidiously **** from fake people




  • Oh please.




  • what do you mean ''oh please'' ,
    are you being condescending towards me ?

    These things happened too me at one point and are still happening to many men


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  • Nonbias wrote: »
    what do you mean ''oh please'' ,
    are you being condescending towards me ?

    These things happened too me at one point and are still happening to many men

    No offense but this is a thread about feminism. You wouldn't talk about rugby in the soccer forum so why bring men's issues in here. Talking about why we need feminism does not mean we are clueless or unsympathetic to the issues men face




  • Mod

    Nonbias, remember where you are posting. This is The Ladies' Lounge, a forum primarily for women to discuss women's issues from a woman's perspective.

    If you want to discuss men's experience of sexism then there is The Gentlemen's Club.

    Don't reply on thread to this message.




  • Twice today I've politely told men who've messaged me on an Internet dating site that I'm not interested in a hookup and twice they've reacted by venting spleen. Is it any wonder that a lot a of women immediately react negatively toward men?

    I mean, if I'm so fat, ugly, old, and pathetic why are you trying to hit on me in the first place?




  • There's a lot of anger out there. Last night I cut an online chat short to go to bed and was told I was a c unt.

    Kylith I would strongly suggest that you don't reply to any guy you aren't interested. In my experience it just encourages bile.




  • Tigger99 wrote: »
    There's a lot of anger out there. Last night I cut an online chat short to go to bed and was told I was a c unt.

    Kylith I would strongly suggest that you don't reply to any guy you aren't interested. In my experience it just encourages bile.

    I usually do, but I've not been having a lot of luck so I decided to try being more open minded. I don't think i'll be continuing. Of course then you run the risk of a pile of messages about what a stuck-up bitch you are.

    People give out about Tinder but at least you can't get messaged by randomers.


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  • Got an abusive message on an online dating app from someone I had not even had a conversation with. He just opened up with an abusive message, totally uncalled for.

    I'd be the first to say rise above it and not to give your wit with an idiot, BUT, Id had a crap day in work and he really p***** me off. Well, I would not tell you the replies I sent back. They were articulate and sharp but scathing. I sent back about 4 messages and after that HE BLOCKED ME as I reckon he'd had enough.




  • Nonbias wrote: »
    I feel the need too comment here because i don't think women have any idea of the extent off the prejudice men can face also

    As a man I fell unemployed for 18 months starting in 2008

    The first couple of months were ok but after a while I started to notice alot off people's reaction started to change
    towards me the minute they found out I was unemployed,and most off these people were women

    It's very hard to explain this prejudice because it's done so insidiously

    many times i was out talking to certain women and the minute they found out i was unemployed the whole vibe changed towards me
    and usually that's where our conversation ended,This had a huge effect on my confidence
    It was like I lost my whole identity and I started to fall into a very dark place

    Luckily I moved abroad and and changed the whole thing around and became very successful in a field i never
    taught was possible

    women have to understand where alot off the hate from men comes from ,because the sexism we face has no words no actions
    but is done insidiously and so can't be proven or talked about ,but it's there

    I think that's why a lot off the famous male stand-up comedians are so clinical towards women because they too at one time
    in their life experienced this insidiously **** from fake people

    After college I couldnt find a job,my boyfriends male friends questioned and belittled me because I was unemployed, my boyfriend broke up with me because of it, in his head I was pathetic for not working. Other men looked down on me for being unemployed and so did my family. My friends a stay at home mother and cant afford to work yet, everyone looks down her. Dont use your unemployment as an excuse to be sexist!!




  • Mod Note

    Resurrecting this, with hopes that it is a place where we can share experiences.

    Everybody is free to post, however:
    - please do not belittle the experience of anyone by saying “not all men” or “didn’t happen”
    - please do not tell somebody that their own experience is not valid, real, justified etc
    - please do not “counter-post” to dismiss others experiences




  • Yesterday was international women’s day.

    I rang a builder to ask about getting a quote for something, when restrictions allow etc, and in the course of the call he said “I prefer to speak to the wife rather than the husband because they know what they want and the wife gives the man permission to get the work done”.

    I was a little taken aback. I’m not married. I’m not even in a relationship. I just want to get some building work done, which I want and which I will pay for, without a man to hold my hand in the process. I felt it was an unnecessary comment on some archaic societal norms.

    Not a major issue. Just something that irked me.




  • sullivlo wrote: »
    Yesterday was international women’s day.

    I rang a builder to ask about getting a quote for something, when restrictions allow etc, and in the course of the call he said “I prefer to speak to the wife rather than the husband because they know what they want and the wife gives the man permission to get the work done”.

    I was a little taken aback. I’m not married. I’m not even in a relationship. I just want to get some building work done, which I want and which I will pay for, without a man to hold my hand in the process. I felt it was an unnecessary comment on some archaic societal norms.

    Not a major issue. Just something that irked me.

    I was speaking with an estate agent recently. I'd set everything up and been the point of contact. I started talking about buying properties and what we were looking for. He directed all of his answers to my husband :rolleyes:




  • I need feminism because of this, if nothing else. In a staff meeting the very senior boss gave a recap of staffing changes and, after saying that the only senior woman on the staff was retiring and another mid-level woman was going on maternity leave, he said, 'That is why women shouldn't be promoted.' He was never censured.




  • Similar issue when buying a car. All the technical stuff is directed at the OH, who couldn't be less interested. The baby seat anchor points, cup holders and capacious storage are pitched to me to accommodate all the babies, shopping and coffees in my life that need to be catered for. He gets the 0 -60, I get the airbag count.

    It doesn't really bother me, but it is noticeable.




  • Because live on TV this morning Piers Morgan announced that summer must be here because...his co-presenter came to work in a mini-skirt. He then said to her 'Up you get' to show off her legs to the camera. Total cringe, he came across as an old perv and he'll still be paid the big bucks tomorrow, no consequences. Imagine your co-worker or boss doing that to you in the office?!

    https://twitter.com/ElaineBucko/status/1369215149358387203




  • Well hes gone now and no loss.




  • This is one that feels a bit insidious to me so bear with me. I need feminism because I'm finding it's quite fashionable and woke for companies to talk about "women in leadership" and "women in business" these days. It's on-brand, but from my experience, not always backed by walking the walk as well as talking the talk. I saw far too many companies promoting "International Women's Day" yesterday, where I KNOW how toxic they are internally and how sidelined women can be by things like pregnancy, maternity leave, etc.

    Another one that relates to my own experience, is an exhaustion with seeing "female leaders" taking on all of the traits of masculinity where they're essentially "behaving like a man" and not leaning on the traits that I can relate to and be inspired by in their leadership roles. I work for a company, for example, where the few C-level women are domineering, combative, and display as little emotion as possible. Compassion and empathy are redundant; this is not a leader I would want to be. It's not a part of myself that I would want to or should have to abandon or minimise in order to climb higher on the corporate ladder.


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  • I need feminism because a radio presenter last weeks said live on air that the pandemic has been especially hard on men because its unnatural for men to stay home and spend time with their wives and families. :rolleyes:




  • I need feminism because of the #NotAllMen trend on Twitter after the murder Sarah Everard.

    The victim blaming is strong. A woman lost her life because she walked home alone, and all that some people can say is “women shouldn’t go out alone”.

    RIP Sarah.




  • sullivlo wrote: »
    I need feminism because of the #NotAllMen trend on Twitter after the murder Sarah Everard.

    The victim blaming is strong. A woman lost her life because she walked home alone, and all that some people can say is “women shouldn’t go out alone”.

    RIP Sarah.

    Haven't seen that.

    RIP Sarah.




  • bitofabind wrote: »
    Another one that relates to my own experience, is an exhaustion with seeing "female leaders" taking on all of the traits of masculinity where they're essentially "behaving like a man" and not leaning on the traits that I can relate to and be inspired by in their leadership roles. I work for a company, for example, where the few C-level women are domineering, combative, and display as little emotion as possible. Compassion and empathy are redundant; this is not a leader I would want to be. It's not a part of myself that I would want to or should have to abandon or minimise in order to climb higher on the corporate ladder.

    Your abilities should be the only metric. That being said I actually hate how we project what qualities women should have and dismiss any woman who doesn't have perceived womanly qualities. There is plenty research that psychopaths are ovrrepresented in business leadership positions. I don't know why should we expect different just from women, we should expect that from every one.

    Women will only achieve equality when we will have the equal right to be flawed.




  • I need feminism because I would love to be able to go for walks & runs along the long scenic walkway just outside my town as its the perfect spot for running but I wouldn't feel safe there on my own at any time of the day. Several women have been attacked along there going for morning & afternoon exercise.

    I eventually found a good bit of long, quiet, straight footpath where I didn't feel totally unsafe. I started going for jogs along here but stopped going after some weirdo made it awkward and difficult for me to run and followed me the whole way until I got into town and could get away from him.
    The weirdo repeatedly ran infront of me to block my path then proceeded to walk slowly infront of me. A few times I crossed the road and started to jog again only for him to cross the road a few seconds later and run up ahead of me to walk infront of me/block my path again, this happened continuously 4 or 5 times until I gave up and slowly walked the rest of the way with him trailing infront blocking my path. Each time I walked around him, he jogged passed me to get infront. It was like he was trying to intimidate me. I haven't been out for a run since.




  • When I was a student so many people warned me not to walk home after dark. This advice mostly came from concerned women who had a story of their own to tell, but if I had heeded their advice I would have missed half of my classes in the winter time. Women can't participate in ordinary life if they don't walk home after dark.




  • I need feminism because a radio presenter last weeks said live on air that the pandemic has been especially hard on men because its unnatural for men to stay home and spend time with their wives and families. :rolleyes:

    I need feminism because it correctly highlights how the pandemic affects women worse than men and creates more gender inequality; women doing vast majority of the care work in hospitals and nursing homes and homes, women expected in many cases to take care on all the extra homeschooling work, womens domestic violence organisations snowed under with work, men nationally (Martin, Donnelly, Harris, Varadkar, Ryan, Holohan etc etc) making all the decisions.




  • I need feminism because ....everything.


    I need feminism to free my mind from thoughts and preconceptions i have that i should not have.

    Men criticizing us calling for action after the sarah everard murder with #notallmen is NOT normal. The idea that men are the victims as a gender even when a woman has been murdered and we are victimizing them for speaking up is why i need feminism.

    I just saw on twitter a list of police officers convicted of crimes ranging from murder to rape ..its longer than you might think.

    I need feminism because i used to think not all men was a valid point. Its not.




  • I need feminism because my facebook lit up with outrage from a couple of men at a woman telling them that men should have a curfew.
    The point she was making is that women have curfews and curtailment in our lives as standard, it only sounds absurd when we apply those theories to men. I had to ask them if it was fair I needed to be indoors by 6pm before some of them seemed to get it.


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  • Mod

    User banned. Post remains intact but under spoiler.

    ...because I seek affirmation and compliments constantly, when not received or I am criticized there's always a feminist to back up my victim mentality.

    Im objectifying myself on social media but don't you dare not comment positively or you are harassing me.

    Chicks are gas, love my one.


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