Breastfeeding Mom in restaurant stare off...

eviltwin

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

women in other parts of the world breastfeed through necessity, cost efficient and practical. how much support do you reckon a women needs to breastfeed?

It is more about convenience then anything in the western world, not doing it. Any woman that sticks at it is some kind of hero. Millions of woman do ti every day across the world.

On the pic, clearly staged and looking for a reaction. if she lobbed that out in my company, I couldn't help but look.

A lot more than you might think. Breastfeeding is actually a lot less hassle than using formula, no getting up to prepare feeds, no cost, no cleaning bottles...most women do start off but stop. Do you think a woman who has never breast fed just puts the baby on the nipple and off she goes? Its a skill that has to be learned....unfortunately our medical staff no longer have the time to teach it, women no longer stay in hospital long enough to get the one to one attention. In other parts of the world a woman is usually bringing her child back to a community of women who have breast fed, who are there with her to show her what to do, to take care of other things so she can feed her child...we don't have that here. No one is saying breast feeding makes you a hero either but it doesn't make you an attention seeker or confrontational if you do it in public.

Gaygooner

A burka would solve all the problems...

(Child may get smothered)

Ave Sodalis

emo72 wrote:

Surely you should be able to breastfeed anywhere! It's the most natural thing of all time. That's why I posted.

I agree, but some people don't. The thread in fairness has mostly been about how much breasts should be hid and whether or not women should be subjected to staring/judging if breastfeeding in public.

LETHAL LADY

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

women in other parts of the world breastfeed through necessity, cost efficient and practical. how much support do you reckon a women needs to breastfeed?

It is more about convenience then anything in the western world, not doing it. Any woman that sticks at it is some kind of hero. Millions of woman do ti every day across the world.

On the pic, clearly staged and looking for a reaction. if she lobbed that out in my company, I couldn't help but look.

I not sure of the tone of your post but women need support with everything when they've just had a baby. Are you saying that western women have it too easy???

emo72

sup_dude wrote: »

I agree, but some people don't. The thread in fairness has mostly been about how much breasts should be hid and whether or not women should be subjected to staring/judging if breastfeeding in public.

Well.... Ignore them. It's their problem. Mother's of the world, whip them out and feed you kids. No harm done. Life goes on.

Azalea

eviltwin wrote: »

unfortunately our medical staff no longer have the time to teach it, women no longer stay in hospital long enough to get the one to one attention.

There was a time, not that long ago, when mothers stayed in hospital for a week after having a perfectly healthy baby with no complications to baby or mother. Although maybe that was only if they went private, but it would still be far less than that today, even if private.

Hands up, as the OP I knew this one would be clickbait on AH.

There must be an irony in a poster on an anonymous forum using a story about a person using a possibly faked story to stoke things up? Cos frankly I don't believe the situation she claimed happened was real, but I kinda wanted to see how it would play out on AH with it's obsession with 3rd wave feminism.

XR3i

in german speaking countries nipp*es are called "brustwarzen", breast warts

kylith

Gaygooner wrote: »

A burka would solve all the problems...

(Child may get smothered)

I believe that all breastfeeding mothers should carry a blanket.

Not to cover themselves and the baby: to give to anyone who is upset by the sight of the most natural thing in the world so that they don't have to see anything that upsets them.

Ave Sodalis

Deleted User wrote:

There must be an irony in a poster on an anonymous forum using a story about a person using a possibly faked story to stoke things up? Cos frankly I don't believe the situation she claimed happened was real, but I kinda wanted to see how it would play out on AH with it's obsession with 3rd wave feminism.

Not really irony when it showed that there is actually a need to discuss breast feeding with the public and highlighted the low numbers of breast feeders in Ireland. There is also quite a bit of what I would consider immaturity around breasts when they're used for their purpose.

Also, not sure if you mean that those who think breast feeding should be normalised are feminists, or that they could be accused of being feminists given how that label is thrown around a lot.

LETHAL LADY

eviltwin wrote: »

A lot more than you might think. Breastfeeding is actually a lot less hassle than using formula, no getting up to prepare feeds, no cost, no cleaning bottles...most women do start off but stop. Do you think a woman who has never breast fed just puts the baby on the nipple and off she goes? Its a skill that has to be learned....unfortunately our medical staff no longer have the time to teach it, women no longer stay in hospital long enough to get the one to one attention. In other parts of the world a woman is usually bringing her child back to a community of women who have breast fed, who are there with her to show her what to do, to take care of other things so she can feed her child...we don't have that here. No one is saying breast feeding makes you a hero either but it doesn't make you an attention seeker or confrontational if you do it in public.

Spot on

Micky Dolenz

eviltwin wrote: »

A lot more than you might think. Breastfeeding is actually a lot less hassle than using formula, no getting up to prepare feeds, no cost, no cleaning bottles...most women do start off but stop. Do you think a woman who has never breast fed just puts the baby on the nipple and off she goes? Its a skill that has to be learned....unfortunately our medical staff no longer have the time to teach it, women no longer stay in hospital long enough to get the one to one attention. In other parts of the world a woman is usually bringing her child back to a community of women who have breast fed, who are there with her to show her what to do, to take care of other things so she can feed her child...we don't have that here. No one is saying breast feeding makes you a hero either but it doesn't make you an attention seeker or confrontational if you do it in public.

That's why I was saying it is cost efficient and practical.

A skill that is learned? More like persistence is needed. A baby will automatically and naturally make a suckling motion, and a nipple is designed for the purpose. Yeah, I understand it is hard to start with, cracked and sore nipples, and the first few weeks can be hell before the nipples toughen up.

Do you think a woman in some African village has ever said, "Nah, this whole breastfeeding thing isn't for me" I wouldn't think so.

Woman who say I couldn't manage it or it didn't work for me really mean it wasn't for them. Don't say you couldn't cos that's mental, just say you tried it and it was a pain in the hole.

Public breastfeeding has never been an issue for me and it happens a lot. Personally I'd rather a feeding baby (breast or bottle) to a crying one.

darkpagandeath

Taking a picture of a stare off is news ? Clearly and edgy hipster.

Ave Sodalis

Micky Dolenz wrote:

Woman who say I couldn't manage it or it didn't work for me really mean it wasn't for them. Don't say you couldn't cos that's mental, just say you tried it and it was a pain in the hole.

My aunt couldn't breast feed. She had a masectomy after getting breast cancer in her early twenties. She fell pregnant not once but twice in her 40's despite being told she would never have children and gave birth to two healthy children. But couldn't breast feed because she was missing one of her boobs and the mammary glands in the other were destroyed. So I guess you could say she couldn't breast feed.

RDM_83 again

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

How people have a problem with separating the sexual and the functional and don't find room for context is bizarre.

If you don't like it, don't look.

This is what I find weird about this thread, the problem is people looking

There seems to be a weird double standard going on here, either something is completely normal and not private and intimate so looking at somebody doing it shouldn't be a particularly big deal.
Or it is something thats intimate and staring at somebody doing it is the hight of rudeness.
Like can you argue that a largely exposed breast (unlike any person I've actually seen doing this) isn't unusual and/or sexual but at same time get annoyed about somebody looking at you?

ps think it should be encouraged because its in the babies best interest etc I'm just wondering about the logic of taking offense when no effort is made at minimizing its obviousness?

LETHAL LADY

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

That's why I was saying it is cost efficient and practical.

A skill that is learned? More like persistence is needed. A baby will automatically and naturally make a suckling motion, and a nipple is designed for the purpose. Yeah, I understand it is hard to start with, cracked and sore nipples, and the first few weeks can be hell before the nipples toughen up.

Do you think a woman in some African village has ever said, "Nah, this whole breastfeeding thing isn't for me" I wouldn't think so.

Woman who say I couldn't manage it or it didn't work for me really mean it wasn't for them. Don't say you couldn't cos that's mental, just say you tried it and it was a pain in the hole.

Public breastfeeding has never been an issue for me and it happens a lot. Personally I'd rather a feeding baby (breast or bottle) to a crying one.

Premature babies, mastitis, inverted nipples, post-natal depression, just to name a few reasons why women don't get the chance to continue to breastfeed their babies.

Micky Dolenz

sup_dude wrote: »

My aunt couldn't breast feed. She had a masectomy after getting breast cancer in her early twenties. She fell pregnant not once but twice in her 40's despite being told she would never have children and gave birth to two healthy children. But couldn't breast feed because she was missing one of her boobs and the mammary glands in the other were destroyed. So I guess you could say she couldn't breast feed.

Well, yeah. Clearly a woman without functioning mammary glands couldn't breastfed. I thought that was a given though.

Ave Sodalis

Micky Dolenz wrote:

Well, yeah. Clearly a woman without functioning mammary glands couldn't breastfed. I thought that was a given though.

My point is that there's reasons for people not breast feeding that go beyond it just not being for them.

eviltwin

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

That's why I was saying it is cost efficient and practical.

A skill that is learned? More like persistence is needed. A baby will automatically and naturally make a suckling motion, and a nipple is designed for the purpose. Yeah, I understand it is hard to start with, cracked and sore nipples, and the first few weeks can be hell before the nipples toughen up.

Do you think a woman in some African village has ever said, "Nah, this whole breastfeeding thing isn't for me" I wouldn't think so.

Woman who say I couldn't manage it or it didn't work for me really mean it wasn't for them. Don't say you couldn't cos that's mental, just say you tried it and it was a pain in the hole.

Public breastfeeding has never been an issue for me and it happens a lot. Personally I'd rather a feeding baby (breast or bottle) to a crying one.

You've obviously never tried to breastfeed :rolleyes: Its not that easy, if only it were. It is hard work and can be painful, agony in fact. Of course people give up, when you are knackered tired, feeling like crap and you know your not getting anywhere of course you are going to give up. And many women are in bits over it and feel like failures because of it. Its not meant to be painful, if you manage to get it right first time it shouldn't hurt at all. Pain is caused by a bad latch and a bad latch is caused by not knowing how to do it properly. If you come from a family of breastfeeders or have a friend who has or if you can afford a lactation consultant then you are in a far better position to be successful.

One eyed Jack

MadsL wrote: »

Hope you don't find it off topic but are you also opposed to topless beaches, naked mixed saunas and naked people at music festivals?

Of course not, nudity for all as far as I'm concerned, in fact I'm naked in the bath right now. I don't, and never have had, a problem with nudity in any form. If it's gratuitous nudity for the sake of attention seeking, then that puts it in a different context to nudity for letting the bits out for air, or breastfeeding, or whatever, hopefully you get the idea because there's an awful lot of trying to take people up wrong here going on with this issue.

I don't have an issue with women breastfeeding in public, I have an issue with women trying to get attention for breastfeeding in public. Breastfeed away, but for christ sake don't be getting upset by people staring. People staring is more natural than breastfeeding ffs because people are curious about things they're unfamiliar with or that they don't understand. People can use that opportunity to educate people rather than complain about people staring at them if they actually really want to do something useful about people's attitudes to breastfeeding "in polite society".

kylith I don't agree that we live in a polite society, I believe we live in a very self-centred society, and we've become that way because social media has afforded some of the most narcissistic people in society a platform from which they can preach about their version of the world as if it's already a reality.

Micky Dolenz

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Premature babies, mastitis, inverted nipples, post-natal depression, just to name a few reasons why women don't get the chance to continue to breastfeed their babies.

Most women in the western world who don't breastfeed choose not to breastfed. And there are loads of reasons, work, dependency etc etc.

Maybe I've heard too many friends complain and stop breastfeeding because they couldn't and when they explain it's normally because of soreness and being a pain. They clearly could do it because they were. They stopped doing it for the above reasons.

Penny Tration

I don't think breastfeeding or having her entire breast over her top is really what people are giving out about here tbh.

Breastfeeding, if a woman can do it, is cleaner, easier, less time consuming and cheaper than bottle feeding. And I don't think any woman should be told to use a pump to express milk before leaving the house. many babies who are used to breast milk from the breast simply won't drink from a bottle.

Feeding in public is totally normal and natural. If the best way for someone to do it is to take their breast over their top, whatever, do it. If you need to fully expose both breasts to let baby go between each one, whatever, do that. My friend tried breastfeeding her newborn for the first time the other day and sat there with no clothes on her top half because she hadn't a clue how to manage it at all :pac:

The issue here is the woman used her staring down someone else as a photo opportunity to be plastered on the internet. First, if someone stares, fcuk them. Focus on feeding your baby, and ignore the idiot.

But to have photos taken of mum ignoring the baby on her breast to have a stare off with someone, then post it on the internet - it's attention seeking, plain and simple.

Feed your child in whatever way is comfortable and suitable for you and your baby, but why would you take pics and put them on the internet unless you wanted attention or validation?

Micky Dolenz

eviltwin wrote: »

You've obviously never tried to breastfeed :rolleyes: Its not that easy, if only it were. It is hard work and can be painful, agony in fact. Of course people give up, when you are knackered tired, feeling like crap and you know your not getting anywhere of course you are going to give up. And many women are in bits over it and feel like failures because of it. Its not meant to be painful, if you manage to get it right first time it shouldn't hurt at all. Pain is caused by a bad latch and a bad latch is caused by not knowing how to do it properly. If you come from a family of breastfeeders or have a friend who has or if you can afford a lactation consultant then you are in a far better position to be successful.

Whats with the eyes?

Have you tried breastfeeding?

Just because I don't have mammary glands doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two about the subject matter.

XR3i

if i had a breast i would have fed my child too, until she got teeth

Ave Sodalis

Micky Dolenz wrote:

Maybe I've heard too many friends complain and stop breastfeeding because they couldn't and when they explain it's normally because of soreness and being a pain. They clearly could do it because they were. They stopped doing it for the above reasons.

I'm not going to lie Micky, I'm struggling to get your point. I thought you were saying that you don't believe that there are women who can't breast feed, but you then said those that lack the utensils to do so are exempt, but those that had to stop due to various reasons could breast feed because they used to. I really don't see what you're trying to say.

Micky Dolenz

XR3i wrote: »

if i had a breast i would have fed my child too, until she got teeth

When they can chew steak, it's probably time

eviltwin

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Whats with the eyes?

Have you tried breastfeeding?

Just because I don't have mammary glands doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two about the subject matter.

Yes I have and before I did I thought it would be the easiest thing in the world to do. I thought I knew all there was to know about it, I'd read books on it, been to the classes, read up on the parenting websites. None of that is the same as actually having to do it and with the added difficulty of post natal exhaustion. So my eyes are a nod to the ignorance that comes from thinking how something is easy when you literally won't know until you try just how hard it can be.

XR3i

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

When they can chew steak, it's probably time

ya it's a bit late , me nipp*es would be like leather at that stage

Sam Kade

I wouldn't blame anyone for staring at her as her tits look better than her face

K-9

Some women can be very militant about the breastfeeding thing, the reason I might look is because its a rare enough thing to see, not because it's icky or any of that mad stuff.

We'd very low breastfeeding rates 20 years ago, not sure if it changed much since.