Viral Facebook video speaking out about domestic violence (Read mod note in the OP)

NachoBusiness

LollipopJimmy wrote: »

She has a black eye and that is taken seriously so I do not buy that at all. Also it's said that it could take months... so? All cases take months.

Found two (1, 2) cases where men with charged with giving a woman a black eye on just the indo website alone.

Be interesting to see if the case does end up in the courts. She appears to suggest that might still be a possibility.

the_monkey

Gotta wonder what she was doing with a violent muppet like that anyway ... her next partner will do the same , women like her always end up with the same crap...

MonsterCookie

the_monkey wrote: »

Gotta wonder what she was doing with a violent muppet like that anyway ... her next partner will do the same , women like her always end up with the same crap...

Wtf...

Mightydrumming

MonsterCookie wrote: »

Wtf...

Don't encourage him, best thing is to ignore it

Tombi!

the_monkey wrote: »

Gotta wonder what she was doing with a violent muppet like that anyway ... her next partner will do the same , women like her always end up with the same crap...

Mod: Sexism gets you banned around here

Beta Canis Majoris

MonsterCookie wrote: »

Wtf...

It's kinda true in fairness to the poster above, he could have been more subtle. Girls are generally attracted to men with similar personality traits.

Just one thing on the "he didn't respond".

It's possible he has a solicitor who is smart enough to tell him not to respond under any circumstances, because it will give him some ammo in any legal battle, and not just domestic violence but more pertinently involving the children.

I think a Judge may be very critical of this move by her, and the implications for the children. She is far from the first person to have broadcast her difficulties on social media, you get more and more cases now where people vent issues about maintenance or access on Facebook...and some Judges don't like it.

MonsterCookie

Beta Canis Majoris wrote: »

It's kinda true in fairness to the poster above, he could have been more subtle. Girls are generally attracted to men with similar personality traits.

Are they really though? I've read that before but don't have first hand experience of it and can't help being a bit sceptical about it.

Either way, the post above was clearly blaming the victim which is complete horse sh1t.

the_syco

MonsterCookie wrote: »

Either way, the post above was clearly blaming the victim which is complete horse sh1t.

One way to phrase it; person doing the con pick on the same type of mark each time, as they know they'll get what they want. Scumbags will probably think the same; they'll know how to get the mark to be interested in them, and leave the mark feeling as if it was their own fault.

The mark won't pick the person doing the con because of the con, but they may be attracted to the same traits as the past abuser had.

It's easy to say to not pick abusers, but most abusers put on a nice face. For example, John and Mary O'Leary in Father Ted. They put on a nice face, but are horrible when they think nobody's watching.

This post should not be seen as victim blaming; I'm trying to say that a person's nice nature can be taken advantage of by a prick who has no remorse.

alsoknownaz

I watched this video and am horrified.

How could a good Irish man do this to his partner?

Beta Canis Majoris

alsoknownaz wrote: »

I watched this video and am horrified.

How could a good Irish man do this to his partner?

not sure if serious.....

alsoknownaz

Beta Canis Majoris wrote: »

not sure if serious.....

I cant comprehend how an Irish man could inflict such an injury on his fellow citizen/beautiful partner.

myshirt

She didn't really get that bad a beating - what was it, a short left jab to the eye potentially?

failinis

Not sure if it has been posted yet but I remember a teacher in school warning us years ago that if you drop a frog in boiling water it will jump out right away - but if you put it in cold water and slowly warm it up it will remain there and cook to death.
A lot of men and women go into what seem good relationships, its how that person presented to them - but slowly the water heats up and they make excuses for the abusers and they get mentally bullied into blaming themselves when they are the victims, and they need the help to leave the bad situation.

myshirt

Beta Canis Majoris wrote: »

not sure if serious.....

I think he is serious. Culture is important. Possibly some cultures have a distance to go in terms of domestic violence. Ireland however, particularly a man presumably below 30 years old, the expectation there would be he'd behave himself and not be hitting the mother of his children.

alsoknownaz

myshirt wrote: »

I think he is serious. Culture is important. Possibly some cultures have a distance to go in terms of domestic violence. Ireland however, particularly a man presumably below 30 years old, the expectation there would be he'd behave himself and not be hitting the mother of his children.

I know many of my peer group and that type of alleged behaviour is beneath them. Now if my peer group were some backward African country or Middle Eastern country that disrespects women and treats them as second class citizens..

myshirt

Well, as I said earlier, at least the beating was not too bad. If he had hit her with any reasonable level of power he'd have broken her eye socket. The emotional distress caused nevertheless remains the same, I know.

Due process has to apply and all that, but I'll take the girl's word for it for it for the purposes of discussion.

Beta Canis Majoris

myshirt wrote: »

I think he is serious. Culture is important. Possibly some cultures have a distance to go in terms of domestic violence. Ireland however, particularly a man presumably below 30 years old, the expectation there would be he'd behave himself and not be hitting the mother of his children.

I'm not sure if you are being serious either or this is some inside joke I don't know about, but the man in question is clearly not ethnically Irish.

meepins

alsoknownaz wrote: »

I know many of my peer group and that type of alleged behaviour is beneath them. Now if my peer group were some backward African country or Middle Eastern country that disrespects women and treats them as second class citizens..

It's not disrespect - it's their deep and wonderful culture and they're bringing it here to culturally enrich us. You need to stop with your narrow mindedness regarding how women should be treated.

mod. Banned

alsoknownaz

Beta Canis Majoris wrote: »

I'm not sure if you are being serious either or this is some inside joke I don't know about, but the man in question is clearly not ethnically Irish.

Really? There's no mention or identification of him anywhere online. I didn't know that.

In any case, he's entitled to his good name until proven otherwise and there should not have been a trial by social media. The woman was wrong to take this avenue and she will, in my opinion, heavily regret the notoriety she has brought on her family. I do applaud her courage in walking away from this alleged bad situation though.

Tombi!

lets drop the racism. I'd rather not have hand out more cards or bans.

Robsweezie

at first when I spotted this shared among my friends with no context from them and only a few seconds in, I thought it was like a dramatic monologue/ acting roleplay thing that she was doing to get feedback like singing videos etc. my heart sank and I was in shock when I was further in as it got more personal and the penny dropped it was for real.

it takes balls to expose a massively sensitive chunk of your private life like that. it seems like this just goes on behind closed doors and ive honestly never seen the likes of it being detailed on facebook, so shes setting a trend. fair play to her. I don't know many other people who would swallow their pride and reveal their true situations to thousands. so many depressed, self harming, being abused, yet still putting on a facade and not talking about it like a dirty secret.

Electric Sheep

Mardy Bum wrote: »

Yeah it comes across as very strange and cold. Especially the earlier disclosure of witnessing DA in the flesh.

Describing your mother being beaten by your father as "taking a few hits" comes across even more strangely.

LollipopJimmy

I listened to the 98fm interview. My take on it is that this relationship seems to have a fair bit of violence in it going both ways.
I also don't buy the Gardai brushing it off as minor, any assault is taken very seriously, if I gave a person a black eye outside a club I'd expect to be brought through the system.
She also says that she won't stop him seeing the kids and he has not made an effort to contact her and he has blocked her phone number... yet she got a restraining order.
Yes he gave her a black eye and it's the lowest thing on the world to strike your partner but I will reserve judgement until the full facts are available.
Also the amount of racist **** going around Facebook now... some people need to take a look at themselves

'He shud b diported' (sic)

frostyjacks

Just read the Sun's interview with the "budding actor" accused of this assault.

http://www.thesun.ie/irishsol/homepage/news/6533757/Gardai-hope-to-quiz-Usanga-over-models-punch-report.html

This country is going down the drain.

zeffabelli

People still deserve innocence before proven guilty.

What happened to proof?

No witnesses.

No evidence.

No context.

A public shaming with dire consequences for this family. A career destroyed which means less provisions for her children and a tarring and feathering of their father. With no proof or the usual protocols of the justice system.

She's opened herself up to defamation while she's at it.

Appealing to the basest in all of us.

B0jangles

Apparently the Indo (and others) tracked her partner down to his mother's house. He wouldn't speak to them, but they quote her as follows:

""He did not murder anybody," she declared. "He made a mistake.
"He is a good person. He did not do anything too wrong.
"He has seen the video and he is very upset. If I have to, I will call the radio station [98FM] myself to tell them that," she said."

Reads to me like an admission that he did what she says he did.

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/emma-murphy-gardai-probe-attack-claims-made-by-young-mum-in-facebook-viral-video-31360822.html

Robsweezie

Robsweezie wrote: »

it takes balls to expose a massively sensitive chunk of your private life like that. it seems like this just goes on behind closed doors and ive honestly never seen the likes of it being detailed on facebook, so shes setting a trend. fair play to her. I don't know many other people who would swallow their pride and reveal their true situations to thousands. so many depressed, self harming, being abused, yet still putting on a facade and not talking about it like a dirty secret.

I have not seen domestic violence videos on Facebook.

I have seen people air their grievances about other family law matters on Facebook, particularly access and maintenance.

Where there are young kids, I myself think it's a bad idea. I think many people keep it secret, not because they feel it is dirty, but because they have an understandable concern about the consequences for their children. Yes, the whole new world of internet access is great...but there was something to be said for the old adage about not washing one's dirty linen in public.

brooke 2

bucketybuck wrote: »

If he is innocent the damage is already done. That he can sue for defamation would be of little use at that point.

Gee! Just wonder who gave her that black eye??

arayess

B0jangles wrote: »

Reads to me like an admission that he did what she says he did.

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/emma-murphy-gardai-probe-attack-claims-made-by-young-mum-in-facebook-viral-video-31360822.html

It does for sure . But lets hear the context before we gather the pitchforks.

If he beat her cos they had a row it's disgusting but if he hit her cos she struck him (she did say she threw a phone on 98fm) while it doesn't look great for him it's a lesser evil and shows she had an active hand in her own misfortune.
If the two of them were at it , I'm more inclined to blame them both, it's not his fault she came off worse (in that context).

I'm not saying I believe one over the other but lets get the facts first.