Viral Facebook video speaking out about domestic violence (Read mod note in the OP)

Specialun

What if she is telling lies ..no way back for the guy then..surely she could have waited for him to be charged

LollipopJimmy

Given she has gone so public now would reporting him to the Guards be a waste of time?

She also posted the vid on what seems to be a business page. Those products are part of a pyramid scheme too.

youtube!

Found that really hard to watch to be perfectly honest, what kind of utter bastardd would do this to another human being?

I know some will say they have no sympathy for her and she should have gone to the Gards etc but when you are in a situation like this I can imagine that perhaps you are too emotionally scarred to think straight.

This was a cry for help as far as I am concerned and I wish that lady all the very best in the future,as for that Narcissistic bully of a boyfriend, hope she does contact the Garda and he sees jail time...maybe then he will come across a few guys that he won't be so quick to punch .

Mightydrumming

Specialun wrote: »

she could have waited for him to be charged

As it has been mentioned multiple times in this thread now, the Gardaí have classed the case as minor. She would then have to possibly wait years to get anywhere with the case.

If I was in her shoes, went to the guards and be told it was a 'minor' case.. I would be furious. I would certainly not wait until he got charged.

Specialun

Mightydrumming wrote: »

As it has been mentioned multiple times in this thread now, the Gardaí have classed the case as minor. She would then have to possibly wait years to get anywhere with the case.

If I was in her shoes, went to the guards and be told it was a 'minor' case.. I would be furious. I would certainly not wait until he got charged.

Did she mention it in her video? If not then why didnt she

Mightydrumming

Specialun wrote: »

Did she mention it in her video?

No I'm sure talking about the Gardaí was not on her top list of priorities.

Specialun wrote: »

If not then why didnt she

If you have a look at the link above in the thread, you will find the interview of her talking about the Gardaí.

Specialun

Mightydrumming wrote: »

No I'm sure talking about the Gardaí was not on her top list of priorities.




If you have a look at the link above in the thread, you will find the interview of her talking about the Gardaí.

Tried..wont work on my ipad

Gatling

If it's on Facebook it must be true .


It has to be ,

Couldn't not ,

Possibly not ,

Possibly is ,

Because if it's on Facebook there could only be truth!!!

jimdublin15

I listed to the interview this morning. In the end she said she throw the phone at him in the gym, so in return/reaction she coped a smack in the eye . I don't think either of them deserved that and she came off worse from picking that last physical fight.

You know it's difficult when your in a situation with domestic abuse be it physical and/or mentally abuse. I was in that situation including physical abuse for nearly 2 years and it just keep getting worse and worse step by step and it's very difficult as you end up feeling highly isolated and alone. For me Iit ended when I was hurt in front of my kids and I dealt with this via the cops and with support from AMEN.ie
Now I do have empathy for her and the situation she has found herself in, but she should not have picked the last fight, that's one for me falls under it takes two to tango. I also would not have put my kids in the video , but that's just me. I dealt with the situation via the legal route and support.

Despite me not agreeing with what she did to end her situation or the fight she started by being violent towards her abuser, I do understand how desperate the situation may have seemed for her, I know it did for me particularly as being I man I thought I would be the only one and not be taken seriously but I found I was not alone in the end I got the support I needed, the cops took my situation very seriously and was helped from the moment i reported it. Now and then I see a report go by and it reminds me of what happened to me such as stories like this lady today and reports being published on abuse. http://www.breakingnews.ie/sponsored/amen8217s-support-kept-me-alive-says-man-who-escaped-domestic-violence-166.html

I would if I did ever speak to her, wish her and the kids all the best.

frostyjacks

Something about this doesn't sit right with me. She's trying to do the right thing, but going the wrong way about it. I'd say she has agents queuing up to represent her now it's gone international.

jimdublin15

frostyjacks wrote: »

Something about this doesn't sit right with me. She's trying to do the right thing, but going the wrong way about it. I'd say she has agents queuing up to represent her now it's gone international.

Fully agree with going about it the wrong way. If something does turn out to be incorrect, now it's in the public eye I am sure we will hear about it sooner or later.

eviltwin

jimdublin15 wrote: »

I listed to the interview this morning. In the end she said she throw the phone at him in the gym, so in return/reaction she coped a smack in the eye . I don't think either of them deserved that and she came off worse from picking that last physical fight.

You know it's difficult when your in a situation with domestic abuse be it physical and/or mentally abuse. I was in that situation including physical abuse for nearly 2 years and it just keep getting worse and worse step by step and it's very difficult as you end up feeling highly isolated and alone. For me Iit ended when I was hurt in front of my kids and I dealt with this via the cops and with support from AMEN.ie
Now I do have empathy for her and the situation she has found herself in, but she should not have picked the last fight, that's one for me falls under it takes two to tango. I also would not have put my kids in the video , but that's just me. I dealt with the situation via the legal route and support.

Despite me not agreeing with what she did to end her situation or the fight she started by being violent towards her abuser, I do understand how desperate the situation may have seemed for her, I know it did for me particularly as being I man I thought I would be the only one and not be taken seriously but I found I was not alone in the end I got the support I needed, the cops took my situation very seriously and was helped from the moment i reported it. Now and then I see a report go by and it reminds me of what happened to me such as stories like this lady today and reports being published on abuse. http://www.breakingnews.ie/sponsored/amen8217s-support-kept-me-alive-says-man-who-escaped-domestic-violence-166.html

I would if I did ever speak to her, wish her and the kids all the best.

You're lucky, many victims, men especially, get no help from the legal system. Cases take time to get to court and people convicted of assault rarely get jail time. The dynamics of a domestic abuse case make it even harder for the victim. I'm glad your out of that situation now.

LollipopJimmy

Powerful stuff Jim. Well done. I know it's not easy to walk out of a relationship when your confidence and self belief has been sapped from you.

I see now a Psychotherapy crowd in Kildare have offered her free counselling. I wonder if you or I ask for free counselling would we get it. I have asked them if their offer is open to all victims of domestic abuse or just the ones they can get massive publicity from

Cold War Kid

I agree with concerns about trial by media but she has a black eye - why are people downplaying this? "I've no sympathy for her" - so edgy. Only a sociopath would have "no" sympathy so I don't believe that. What are people being all skeptical about?
It's absolutely true nobody should hit anyone except in self defence, and domestic abuse against men is an issue that needs more more highlighting, but I can't see the logic in using a video of an assaulted woman to highlight this - even annoyance at her.

Pumpkinseeds

Mightydrumming wrote: »

Your opinion.



She did. The Gardaí classed the case as 'minor'.



Not everyone. She clearly stated on an interview that her friend witnessed one of many incidents.


Please get the facts right before you rant utter sh!te.

Oh, she stated that her friend saw it, it must be true so:rolleyes: Her friend wouldn't of course be biased in anyway. You are taking one persons word over another. You know nothing about this woman. She could be mentally unstable for all you know, but you won't let the fact that you no nothing about this other than what she's accusing the guy of stop you from having a rant and flying the sister flag.:D

It's shocking how many people are prepared to support accusations made by one random stranger about another random stranger, based on nothing but allegations. How will destroying his business and therefore potentially removing his ability to financially support his child/children help? She should have gone through the legal system. I don't know what age her children are but if they're old enough to understand whats going on they now have to deal with the public attention as well as the fallout between their parents. If her accusations are true it is shameful that she's putting them through such a public spectacle on top of having witnessed domestic abuse. In a weeks time you won't even remember her name.

michael999999

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Oh, she stated that her friend saw it, it must be true so:rolleyes: Her friend wouldn't of course be biased in anyway. You are taking one persons word over another. You know nothing about this woman. She could be mentally unstable for all you know, but you won't let the fact that you no nothing about this other than what she's accusing the guy of stop you from having a rant and flying the sister flag.:D

It's shocking how many people are prepared to support accusations made by one random stranger about another random stranger, based on nothing but allegations. How will destroying his business and therefore potentially removing his ability to financially support his child/children help? She should have gone through the legal system. I don't know what age her children are but if they're old enough to understand whats going on they now have to deal with the public attention as well as the fallout between their parents. If her accusations are true it is shameful that she's putting them through such a public spectacle on top of having witnessed domestic abuse. In a weeks time you won't even remember her name.

Victim blaming!

You need to have a ****ing word with yourself.

Its pretty obvious at this stage your friends with the guy!

Pumpkinseeds

michael999999 wrote: »

Victim blaming!

You need to have a ****ing word with yourself.

Its pretty obvious at this stage your friends with the guy!

Oh, for Jesus sake, would you cop yourself on Michael. Victim blaming my arse. Get back to me if this goes to court and the guy is found guilty. Until then bugger off with your 'victim blaming' crap, be careful you don't fall off that high horse of yours.

Justice4Adolf

eviltwin wrote: »

What happens in the meantime while you're waiting for a court date, living with someone who may be putting pressure on you to drop charges? Most assault victims don't live with their attackers, that's why domestic violence is so different and difficult to deal with. You think every man or woman living with this is not doing enough to get out or that it's easy to deal with?

Just for the record (and possible benefit of someone reading this) there are a number of secure refuges that can take victim of domestic violence and their children in - and look after them.

Pumpkinseeds

michael999999 wrote: »

Victim blaming!

You need to have a ****ing word with yourself.

Its pretty obvious at this stage your friends with the guy!

I have no idea who either of them is. As I said earlier I haven't read the story on facebook or listened to it on the radio. I'm simply playing devils advocate based on the posts I'm reading.

mikom

Justice4Adolf wrote: »

Just for the record (and possible benefit of someone reading this) there are a number of secure refuges that can take victim of domestic violence and their children in - and look after them.

Have they Wi-Fi?

eviltwin

Justice4Adolf wrote: »

Just for the record (and possible benefit of someone reading this) there are a number of secure refuges that can take victim of domestic violence and their children in - and look after them.

They are turning away more women than they accept and they don't accept men so not much use to the male victims out there

denhaagenite

I think it's rather strange that men seem to be making it out to be her fault here, while women seem to be siding with her. Even that interview she gave, I felt like the interviewer was interrogating her.

Her omission of domestic violence against men was completely unconscious. Nobody is saying that men don't or can't get abused. We know they do and that they are much more likely to stay silent. This is heinous but it is not her fault, and I doubt very much that it's her opinion that men can't also be victims.

But her ex partner's silence (and virtual non existence) speaks volumes. My first reaction when I saw the video this morning is that she's a brave woman, and it's my opinion now.

Cold War Kid

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I have no idea who either of them is. As I said earlier I haven't read the story on facebook or listened to it on the radio. I'm simply playing devils advocate based on the posts I'm reading.

Devil's advocate means considering both sides. "I've no sympathy for her" isn't that approach.

smurgen

My heart goes out to her.i think she was exactly correct in doing what she done.im willing to bet the Gardai already told her she doesn't have of a chance at getting him jail time.people in a position of power preying on those weaker than them makes me sick.
I remember an ex girlfriend of mine threw a boiling plate of pasta at me drunk one night and I grabbed her by the scruff of the jacket.in my drunkeness I didn't dare strike her.she was much smaller than me.i couldn't live with myself if I did. A guy systematically doing it to his partner is an alien notion to me.he must be a real piece of work.

Mightydrumming

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Oh, she stated that her friend saw it, it must be true so:rolleyes:

I'm sure there are more than just her 'biased' friend.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

You know nothing about this woman.

How do you know? Have you got some special ability or...?

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

She could be mentally unstable for all you know, but you won't let the fact that you no nothing about this other than what she's accusing the guy of stop you from having a rant and flying the sister flag.

You have completley lost me with that last part.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

She should have gone through the legal system.

And waited for a couple of years, get a smack a few more times? You obviously don't know the proceedings belonging to a domestic situation.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I don't know what age her children are but if they're old enough to understand whats going on they now have to deal with the public attention as well as the fallout between their parents.

Her two children are of a small age, no need to worry there Pumpkin.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

If her accusations are true it is shameful that she's putting them through such a public spectacle on top of having witnessed domestic abuse. In a weeks time you won't even remember her name.

Again, that is your opinion. What right have you to call her actions shameful? At the end of the day mate, we are not going to agree on this. I have my reasons, you have yours.

I'm a man, I believe and was reared to believe that hitting a woman was never acceptable. To be honest, I smell a bit of biasism coming from your end. But hey, that's just MY opinion though

Justice4Adolf

eviltwin wrote: »

They are turning away more women than they accept and they don't accept men so not much use to the male victims out there

Well you can spread a message of pessimism and hopelessness to people trapped in abusive relationships or you can give them a more constructive message - there are refuges and lots of people benefitting from them every day of the week, the courts will give barring orders which secure the family home for victim, perps won't get bail easy but if they once show active intimidation bail will likely be revoked. Plus unlike in previous generations people aren't financially cut off

NachoBusiness

Specialun wrote: »

Tried..wont work on my ipad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btE-7qHJY8A

Pumpkinseeds

Cold War Kid wrote: »

Devil's advocate means considering both sides. "I've no sympathy for her" isn't that approach.

I wouldn't have sympathy for anyone who put their kids through the public spectacle that she has. If what she's saying is true then their kids have been through more than enough as it is without this 3 ring circus. Trial by media and keyboard warriors is a bad thing. If what she's saying is true then of course she deserves sympathy and support, as do her children. I just don't believe in villifying strangers based on accusations made by other strangers.

Dogowner55

Cold War Kid wrote: »

I agree with concerns about trial by media but she has a black eye - why are people downplaying this? "I've no sympathy for her" - so edgy. Only a sociopath would have "no" sympathy so I don't believe that. What are people being all skeptical about?
It's absolutely true nobody should hit anyone except in self defence, and domestic abuse against men is an issue that needs more more highlighting, but I can't see the logic in using a video of an assaulted woman to highlight this - even annoyance at her.

It might be his culture that he had the reaction he did, for the kids he might not be irish so the culture of reaction might not be the same as us.

Cold War Kid

She has a black eye - why the longing to believe it's not true? Granted, the trial by social media thing is inadvisable.