Craziest thing your ex did as revenge?

bear1

I Heart Internet wrote: »

....in a plastic box and paper bag for me to take home and eat for my lunch the next day. But before that she opened up her......

.....Blouse and low and behold she had 2 huge.......

I Heart Internet

bear1 wrote: »

.....Blouse and low and behold she had 2 huge.......

.......tits.





I couldn't keep it up (ooooo errrr)

Shpongler

Denied me any access to to seeing my daughter.. full stop

Unmarried fathers in Ireland have zero rights

bear1

I Heart Internet wrote: »

.......tits.





I couldn't keep it up (ooooo errrr)

.... best pair of tit birds I'd ever seen

bear1

Shpongler wrote: »

Denied me any access to to seeing my daughter.. full stop

Unmarried fathers in Ireland have zero rights

That sucks man, sorry about that

SEPT 23 1989

Shiraz 4.99 wrote: »

Kind of hard to prove but you'll have to take my word for it.
Actually another story about the 2nd one you'll enjoy even more.
We were staying in a hostel, 6 to a room in bunk beds, segregated on gender for obvious reasons.
Anyway, after a night on the tiles I sneaked in to give my missus a good night kiss, she being on the top bunk.
While I was kissing with passion her friend on the bottom bunk reached inside my boxers & begun doing things her mother wouldn't be proud of.
Once I'd finished she neatly tucked me away & lay silently back on her pillow below.
Luckily my missus was well drunk & never noticed my quiet groans or probably put it down to her wonderful kissing technique.

I realise this probably seems more fanciful than the first story but I seemed to attract a lot of this attention growing up.

was this your missus friend?

http://i40.tinypic.com/124hhs2.png

I Heart Internet

bear1 wrote: »

.... best pair of tit birds I'd ever seen

Stop it!!

Shiraz 4.99

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Awaiting Shiraz's next post

"This one time at band camp"

True life throws up better stories than any 40 Shades novelist.
I'll leave you with this one.

I used work as a barman/steward in a prestigious golf club back in my early 20's.
During the winter months we wouldn't see a customer past 2 pm, especially if it was raining.
I would close up around 5pm once I'd tidied the locker rooms, then the missus would arrive after her work & we'd slip into the jacuzzi in the ladies locker room with a free bar at our disposal.
The evening would be spent going steam room, shower, sauna, shower, jacuzzi with many body fluids lost along the way.
Happy memories, it's all about leaving it all on the pitch.

smash

Shiraz 4.99 wrote: »

The evening would be spent going steam room, shower, sauna, shower, jacuzzi with many body fluids lost along the way.

Yea, cleaning makes you sweat a bit....

YFlyer

DellyBelly wrote: »

Bitch slept with my dad and brother at the same time!!!

The family dog :pac:

minion35

Shiraz 4.99 wrote: »

True life throws up better stories than any 40 Shades novelist.
I'll leave you with this one.

I used work as a barman/steward in a prestigious golf club back in my early 20's.
During the winter months we wouldn't see a customer past 2 pm, especially if it was raining.
I would close up around 5pm once I'd tidied the locker rooms, then the missus would arrive after her work & we'd slip into the jacuzzi in the ladies locker room with a free bar at our disposal.
The evening would be spent going steam room, shower, sauna, shower, jacuzzi with many body fluids lost along the way.
Happy memories, it's all about leaving it all on the pitch.

How have you not got a job writing porn scripts? I generally wouldn't care much for the opening dialogue in them but your ideas are astounding. Get onto Brazzers right now, I see a new career in your future.

I Heart Internet

Shiraz 4.99 wrote: »

True life throws up better stories than any 40 Shades novelist.
I'll leave you with this one.

This must be true. Just Shiraz and his GF.

Someone making it up would include at least one other person.

Un Croissant

An ex of mine believes that a federation of animal humanoids run the galaxy. Lions, lizards, dolphins, that kind of ****. She was a total fruitcake.

In short, when the invisible planet on the edge of our solar system appears and the lion men come to welcome humanity into the galactic federation, I'm not on the guest list.

I Heart Internet

minion35 wrote: »

....but your ideas are astounding. Get onto Brazzers right now, I see a new career in your future.

As Shiraz says though - truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

I was "seeing" a woman for a few months (not in Ireland) who was a busty bisexual girl who managed a sex-shop. 100% true. The stories I could tell.

No dramatic/crazy break-up so not relevant to this thread I guess.

shruikan2553

bear1 wrote: »

How old was she? 5?

Nah, 15ish I think, this was back when I was also that age so not as creepy.

Shiraz 4.99

I Heart Internet wrote: »

As Shiraz says though - truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

I was "seeing" a woman for a few months (not in Ireland) who was a busty bisexual girl who managed a sex-shop. 100% true. The stories I could tell.

No dramatic/crazy break-up so not relevant to this thread I guess.

I've unzipped, it would be rude not to finish

House of Blaze

My ex decided to punish me by having a threesome with her and her best friend (who wasn't great looking but still!)

I never have, and never will understand that one..

I Heart Internet

Shiraz 4.99 wrote: »

I've unzipped, it would be rude not to finish

Let's just say there was a clean-up required in aisle 3 of the shop she managed.

Realt Dearg Sec

House of Blaze wrote: »

My ex decided to punish me by having a threesome with her and her best friend (who wasn't great looking but still!)

I never have, and never will understand that one..

He and her best friend is just two people. I've had loads of threesomes so.

Un Croissant

House of Blaze wrote: »

My ex decided to punish me by having a threesome with her and her best friend (who wasn't great looking but still!)

I never have, and never will understand that one..

A three way with her, her best friend and who? Cause if it's you that ain't too bad.

Shiraz 4.99

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

He and her best friend is just two people. I've had loads of threesomes so.

Yes, remember god is in the room too so most people average 3

bear1

I Heart Internet wrote: »

As Shiraz says though - truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

I was "seeing" a woman for a few months (not in Ireland) who was a busty bisexual girl who managed a sex-shop. 100% true. The stories I could tell.

No dramatic/crazy break-up so not relevant to this thread I guess.

I am making an exception!

Grayson

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

was this your missus friend?

http://i40.tinypic.com/124hhs2.png

Well we know this is him

LoonyLovegood

Dated an absolute psycho. He had serious family issues, and tried to use me as a thing going right in his life. When I ended it he kept stalking me on Facebook and Twitter. He started spreading things about me to groups that we were both involved in, to the point where I was asked to leave them.

Still have really bad flashbacks from that one.

I Heart Internet

bear1 wrote: »

I am making an exception!

Well, like I say, she was bi but explained that she had only ever been in relationships with girls.

We met online. She managed a sex shop - it suited her , she was fazed by nothing and enjoyed that scene.

She was never going to be the settling down type so we parted ways.

When I met her first she would speak about a friend that she used to work with - "very nice, quiet girl". Fair enough - she wants me to set her up with a buddy or something....

Towards the end of our few months, she called over to my place and her friend (who I'd never met) was in tow. Hotter than the girl I was seeing. Had a good night!

Reebrock

One of my exes cut the head off my dog and fed its cooked face to me under the guise it was beef. I only clocked on when I went to shower the next morning and the body was bleeding out in the bath.

SnitchingBubs

Not really an ex but I was seeing a girl in college for awhile, spent a few nights together and hung out but we were not official. It starts to come towards the end of the college year and the questions start "Where is this going" and "What are we"? I wouldn't commit to her as we lived very far away when not in college and I was only 19. My intentions were clear but she seemed to think I would change my mind. So the questions became more frequent.

Cut to the last week of college when she was about to drop me to a friends house and a song comes on the radio. The song being "Please don't leave me" by Pink. So she pulls into an empty parking lot, turns up the radio and says "You listen to that song now" and then proceeds to stare at me for the 2-3 minutes of the songs duration. I didn't know whether to laugh or run. So I settled on avoiding her gaze until the song was over. She then dropped me to my friends like nothing happened. Safe to say when I returned the following year to college I gave her a wide berth.

mistress_gi

I Heart Internet wrote: »

I think it's happening to me at the moment.

Woman I've been seeing telling me she's pregnant and I have to get her this and bring her that. It's upsetting. I think she might be putting it on....


But I've seen the "scans".

And she's technically my "wife".

And we have 2 other "kids".

And she's like 9 months pregnant....

Can't help thinking she's up to something though.

Yeah it all sounds very fishy alright

blade1

Reebrock wrote: »

One of my exes cut the head off my dog and fed its cooked face to me under the guise it was beef. I only clocked on when I went to shower the next morning and the body was bleeding out in the bath.

WWWHHHAAATTTTTTT?????????????????

House of Blaze

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

He and her best friend is just two people. I've had loads of threesomes so.

G'wan now you know exactly what I meant!