April 2015 Babies Club

Baby4

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spottybananas

Baby4 being with them 24/7 is so tough isn't it! I think that's what my husband doesn't get, he'll have him for two hours and find it draining or infuriating (depending on toddler's mood!) and then gets to go to work 5-6 days. My son does 2 x 4 hour afternoons at creche while I work but the days that we have no creche, no plans and nobody to see just drag. He, like me, hates to be at home doing nothing so the two of us wind each other up going stir crazy.

bp

Still nap here and it's improved due to summer holidays from school so can go down at the same time everyday. Sleeps from about 7.30pm - 6.15am. We tried an hour later to bed in the hopes it would mean an extra hour in the morning but didn't work - we didn't think it would but thought it was worth a shot.

Being a stay at home mam can be isolating, I am lucky to have a large range of parent friends who are around during the week.

Baby4

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spottybananas

Most nights when I'm lying down with him at bedtime he holds my face and says "My mommy", he says it often during the day too. I'll be there thinking how tired I am, how difficult he's been that day/hour, and then he does that and I'm mush, guilty mush!

Baby4

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spottybananas

We're kinda potty training now, he gets the theory and has done a good few wees on the toilet but no poos yet, he tells us when he's doing it in his nappy but we don't want to make him sit on the toilet then because I know that would put him off the idea altogether and give him a bad association with it.

We have another baby now, a 9 week old boy Our older boy adores him, apparently he's his baby not mine! He's absolutely brilliant with him, but it is tough at the moment to balance the lovely snuggly indoors new baby days with a toddler who is rearing to go every day and hates being at home.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Baby4

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spottybananas

Thank you Well first of all as an only child I say don't do it if a sibling is your only reason, I turned out fine But if you truly want another and think it's worth the negatives then I reckon go for it sooner rather than later, just make sure you have support and plans in place for whatever you need after the birth. I'm already bracing myself for 18 months onwards, as I have found that stage the most difficult with my first son. I adore the small baby stage and naively thought that was the "worst" bit as everyone says and as I breezed through it even with horrifically broken sleep I thought the next age would be plain sailing, how thick am I! So this time around I'll be prepared and look for help when I need it from friends and family.

While it's not the same as PND I would love lots of kids but the stress and trauma I've gone through with pre eclampsia, blood pressure and being absolutely terrified at each appointment it puts me off having any more, it was so mentally difficult and damaging that I think it will unfortunately put me off completely.

bp

Congrats spotty we potty trained a few months ago as was definitely ready. Still not the best talker or eater but full of determination and stubborn!!!!! No number 3 for us so getting an hour or two to myself and dipping a toe into the working world is on the horizon

Baby4

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angeldelight

Lovely hearing from you all! We’ve had a difficult three months, O has been an inpatient in hospital for two week long stints of IV antibiotics and two day case procedures with general anaesthetic. She has a kidney stone! We haven’t toilet trained yet for that very reason but I was thinking of trying it this weekend. I’m also an only child and never minded but am starting to think about trying for number two

spottybananas

God angel delight the poor thing! Hope she's better now.

Ms2011

Ah BP I'm so jealous that you've toilet trained, I'm dreading it, I find it the worst part of child rearing but I'm going to bite the bullet in April when the weather starts to warm up. I've talked to her about it, going in her potty etc but the stubborn little so & so is having none of it. She's starting Montessori in September so she has to be trained for then. I've ordered her cute little pants online which I'm hoping will spark her interest in giving up the nappies.
Otherwise she's flying it, her speech is brilliant & she's fiercely independent.
No more babies here, actually looking forward to having the baby chapter over & going onto the next chapter.
Angel sorry to here your little girl is poorly so hard to watch them suffer, I hope she gets well soon x

angeldelight

She has to have another general anaesthetic and blasting to clear the stone in Feb and hopefully that’ll be the end of it. They’ll refer her to nephrology then to see why she had a kidney stone as it’s so unusual at her age! It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster but could be so much worse so I try to keep perspective.

She can be super stubborn too so I wouldn’t be surprised if our first attempt at toilet training doesn’t work out

Baby4

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angeldelight

Ah that’s great! Ours is on Creche two days a week for over a year now but has been quite wobbly at drop off which is really hard, hoping when she starts her ECCE hours in September and she’s going five days it’ll be easier for her

spottybananas

Ours is in creche two afternoons a week for over a year too, he loves it, its only in the last few weeks he doesn't cry or whinge going there but he's always been fine within minutes in there. Wish we could put him in more days or longer days (only does 3.5 hrs at a time) but creche don't have the availability before lunch and it would cost us too much. The ecce free hours will be great but won't be until September.

bp

Oh the poor baby with a kidney stone that cannot be nice for anyone in the family. Delighted to be out of nappies (not night time yet), and looking forward to terrible threes

Ms2011

If the terrible threes are worse than the terrible two's I'm leaving home, my darling child is currently flipping out on the floor because I helped her with her shoe. Bad mammy, what the hell was I thinking:rolleyes:

Baby4

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bp

I find the tantrums a lot easier to deal with if they are fed. At the first sign of moodies I give a banana or something small and abot three quarters of the time peace returns. Not.always obviously

shesty

spottybananas wrote: »

Thank you Well first of all as an only child I say don't do it if a sibling is your only reason, I turned out fine But if you truly want another and think it's worth the negatives then I reckon go for it sooner rather than later, just make sure you have support and plans in place for whatever you need after the birth. I'm already bracing myself for 18 months onwards, as I have found that stage the most difficult with my first son. I adore the small baby stage and naively thought that was the "worst" bit as everyone says and as I breezed through it even with horrifically broken sleep I thought the next age would be plain sailing, how thick am I! So this time around I'll be prepared and look for help when I need it from friends and family.

While it's not the same as PND I would love lots of kids but the stress and trauma I've gone through with pre eclampsia, blood pressure and being absolutely terrified at each appointment it puts me off having any more, it was so mentally difficult and damaging that I think it will unfortunately put me off completely.

21 months on here spotty (no.1 is 3.5 and no
2 is 21 mths) and I can reassure you that the dynamic of having no.2 as a toddler is very different!They have the older to distract them, to show then things, the elder's toys to play with, the older one to boss around(!) We still have tantrums, but it's kind of hard to maintain rolling on the floor and screaming when you get 10s of mammy's attention before she has to go sort out no.1 in the bathroom or something (and ya know.....there might be more interesting stuff going on in there with taps and water and the like....) They just want to do everything the older does, which can be mainly good, even if it does have it's moments!!The bigger challenge I find is any conflict between the two of them over the toys etc-that you as a parent have to walk the line between trying to stop the younger one getting hurt or picked on a lot, but also not constantly picking on the older one (because at that age by their weight and height, they will automatically win most battles).Trying to teach them to resolve their battles without me constantly stepping in on the younger one's behalf is tough, I have to say.(because you also don't want the younger one thinking that every time they scream for something you will come get it for them!!)

Otherwise it's a very different toddlerhood!!Plus I have a 3 year old to put it in perspective too......age 3 is interesting.....

Ms2011

bp wrote: »

I find the tantrums a lot easier to deal with if they are fed. At the first sign of moodies I give a banana or something small and abot three quarters of the time peace returns. Not.always obviously

I wish food was the answer here. With herself everything has to be done to her exacting instruction or how she wants it or there's war, she absolutely cannot compromise or be reasoned with.
My SIL looked after her before Christmas as I had an appointment, I was tight on time as I had to collect my son from school so I warned SIL that she'll probably kick off because I wouldn't have time to settle her before I left. SIL said no problem she'd settle her, her daughter had bad tantrums too. I said ok but knew she didn't really understand just how bad herself can be. I came back 2 hours later to a flustered SIL & a daughter who had exhausted herself from screaming & fallen asleep. SIL was like OMG she'd never seen anyone throw a fit like that, I said I know, there are normal kids tantrums & then there are my daughters tantrums which are on a whole new level :eek:

shesty

Get in ahead if her where posssible.
Tell her in the car-"We are going here, you will stay with X for a while, mammy has to go for a bit, then I will be back to get you."Maybe chat to her about what she will do while you are there, and that mammy will be back in no time at all.I know they are small but they understand plenty.Distraction is a no-no in our house, I would rather deal with things head on and accept that they don't always like the options available!!! Also resist saying 'is that ok?" Or anything similar at the end of your sentence-it's your boundary to set and she needs to know it's a secure one, not one that she could have an option on, if that makes sense.
I won't say it resolves everything but it helps.A lot.Once the tantrum starts, it's too late!!!!
I found I always had to be two steps ahead and anticipate my first one's issues (she's a BIG personality).No.2 is a doddle compared to her, personality-wise.

Ms2011

I did explain to her in the car that we were going to aunty x's house, aunty x was going to mind her then mammy would be back to collect her, this got a resounding no from her. So when we pulled up outside my SIL she was already annoyed that she'd said no & I'd brought her anyway!!
I definitely don't pander to her even if I know it will result in a tantrum, she may think she has the monopoly on stubborn but who do you think she inherited it from :P

ETA We were in Lidl today & she seen a potty she liked so I said I'd buy it for her but if she didn't use it I would bring it back, low & behold she went home & did a poo in it...I might not have to wait until April to train her after all!!

ccardoso33

Have been reading the last few posts on this thread, I have a little girl born April 2015 and this is the first time I've seen this thread!

Totally relate with the tantrums but on a slightly different level. I am now 29 weeks pregnant with number 2 and due to having hyperemisis again (although this time it went away around christmas) I have been off work and will be staying at home for the foreseable future. I also give her a snack when she gets moody and give myself one too as I am just as moody! However she has been developing a real attitude and back talk but only with me! I feel guilty getting annoyed because she is clearly exactly the same as me! But this being pregnant and having a toddler business is harder than I thought!

She was going to go to playschool in November but we've had some set backs with potty training. We are good with the peeing even out the house but the number 2s are hit and miss! Sometimes in the toilet, sometimes in her underwear or for example, I've just taken her out the bath because she pooped in it! Ugh!!!

She'll be going to playschool for 4 hours a week in June and then 6 hours in September just to get her out and making friends. I take her to a playgroup and she's starting to want to make little friends and calls everyone her best friend but my partner and I don't have any friends with kids that we can arrange play dates with and there's only so much you can get out of going to the park, library and group... Any suggestions of better ways to get to know people with similar age kids?

Anyway, I'm ending my rambling here as I still have to finish cleaning the bath! I have enjoyed reading the posts here, good to know I am not the only one to have bad days!

ccardoso33

Baby4 wrote: »

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I totally feel you there. I wasn't diagnose with anything but looking back on it there were some clear indication that things weren't right after my little on'es birth.

I was a bit scared about getting pregnant with number 2 but when it finally happened I was actually quite relieved as I felt like I was going to have another chance and this time was much better prepared.

From a mental and emotional point of view this pregnancy hasn't been easy but I feel better prepared to deal with it.

As for the toddler, she also insists on calling me by my name or darling =D because she hears her dad using it. She's a total mental case and hilarious but hard work nevertheless! Amazes me how much she understands about the baby and getting a new baby brother, specially because he's due on her birthday!

Anyway, keep enjoying your little one and good luck with whatever happens in the future!

Baby4

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Ms2011

Alot of growing up in the last few weeks, no more naps, no more cot she's in her 'big girl bed':)
She's also potty trained now, took a whole 5 days, couldn't believe it, my son was a nightmare. She still has a pull up on at night which is still wet occasionally in the morning so I'll leave that a few more weeks.
Just get rid of the soother (she only uses at bedtime) and I'll be laughing