Cheapskategate aka How Not To Host Your Wedding

rainbowtrout

robinph wrote: »

Yep, she knew what she was doing, but I don't think it was out of any kind of evilness against anyone. Just didn't know how to do it right.

If they had been out to setup a disaster of a wedding for some reason then, whilst it was an unintentional disaster, they failed miserably at either having a great do or a terrible one and only managed to annoy a few guests. Seems that she did a better number on the family, but still would have been a bigger ending to the movie if they had kept them onboard until the final scene... if it was deliberate rather than just idiotic.

I'd agree. More a brass neck thing really. 'We know this is mean and stingy but we think we'll get away with it because people are polite and won't want to upset the bride and groom on their wedding day'

Windorah

robinph wrote: »

If they had been out to setup a disaster of a wedding for some reason then, whilst it was an unintentional disaster, they failed miserably at either having a great do or a terrible one and only managed to annoy a few guests.

They failed at having a terrible wedding??? It sounded f****** chronic to me!

robinph

Windorah wrote: »

They failed at having a terrible wedding??? It sounded f****** chronic to me!

Read what I said again.

Tarzana

eviltwin wrote: »

I'm not attacking her, its been a great thread and I'm glad she posted it and the update. It's been the best thread on the forum ever.

That didn't answer my question though. :pac:

Tarzana

stinkle wrote: »

Can I ask was the bride any way upset at the dad not giving her away?

From the descriptions so far, the bride just seemed weirdly detached. Very strange.

pickarooney

Given that the bride asked someone who could hardly be described as a close friend, and the groom's sister (wtf?) to be her bridesmaid, there was obviously some major family rift going back months at least. Fairly miserable state of affairs.

FreshKnickers

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I'd say they had it well worked out before the wedding certain friends and family weren't really friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU on them.

Joke's on them so. Twas their own wedding they ruined.

shewasdiesel

FreshKnickers wrote: »

Joke's on them so. Twas their own wedding they ruined.

Dunno, they got the dosh, they got the wedding, and they got drunk, they danced, they partied, and then headed off on honeymoon. Sounds like they done quite nicely, while permanently flushing out, exposing, and getting rid of any pretend friends and family. I'd love to hear their side of the story, but seemingly, any questioning of the posters claims is not allowed.

bucketybuck

Word of warning folks, they are now handing out official warnings for daring to ask if any of this story is actually true.

Tiddlypeeps

bucketybuck wrote: »

Word of warning folks, they are now handing out official warnings for daring to ask if any of this story is actually true.

I'd imagine it was more for daring to ignore the massive mod warning in bolded red on the first page.

I can't see this thread remaining unlocked for very long.

bucketybuck

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

I'd imagine it was more for daring to ignore the massive mod warning in bolded red on the first page.

I can't see this thread remaining unlocked for very long.

Be that as it may, its human nature to be skeptical of fantastical stories, I thought it worth pointing out to newcomers that there are different standards in this forum than the rest of the board.

FreshKnickers

So they told all the genuine friends and family to stay clear so they could get drunk with their fake friends and family? Yeah well if that truly is what they really want for their wedding then okay, that's their choice.

Those of us who had weddings - big or small - surrounded by people wishing us well and happy for us know what this pair missed out on.

Tarzana

pickarooney wrote: »

Given that the bride asked someone who could hardly be described as a close friend, and the groom's sister (wtf?) to be her bridesmaid, there was obviously some major family rift going back months at least. Fairly miserable state of affairs.

Not that strange to have the groom's sister as a BM, if the bride is close to her.

Tarzana

bucketybuck wrote: »

Word of warning folks, they are now handing out official warnings for daring to ask if any of this story is actually true.

I know, bit OTT, but dems da rulz.

emo72

FreshKnickers wrote: »

So they told all the genuine friends and family to stay clear so they could get drunk with their fake friends and family? Yeah well if that truly is what they really want for their wedding then okay, that's their choice.

Those of us who had weddings - big or small - surrounded by people wishing us well and happy for us know what this pair missed out on.

I get the impression they have no real friends.

Pumpkinseeds

There's no shame in having a small wedding. Big or small doesn't really matter, if you do it right you can have a lovely day with family and friends. That wasn't what the couple wanted. They could have had a small wedding with just the family and friends they originally invited to the ceremony and then had a meal with them afterwards. It really does seem that they tried to fleece people and it was horrible position to put their bridesmaids and families in.

Ken.

On the plus side this couple have set the bar real low. All anyone has to do in the future is by the bridesmaids a dress and a few cocktail sausages for the unwashed masses and you'll have this shower beaten hands down.

Pumpkinseeds

I think sometimes small weddings are best for people on small budgets. I've seen photos of a few weddings recently where the couple haven't had much money to spend but are trying to do too much. A typical example I saw a couple of weeks ago was a groom who had 5 groomsmen. They all wore identical suits to the grooms and black and white slip on trainers, which looked atrocious.

There was 1 tall thin lad and the suit was hanging off him and a short very fat chap whose trousers looked ridiculous. Not a single bit of tailoring on what must have been 99 euro suits, it was hard to know which 1 was the groom. So assuming they'd spent 600 euro on 6 shabby looking suits they could've just spent that money on decent suits for the groom and best man. Off topic I know, but it's just something that niggles me.

Toots

Maybe some people need to go back and read the first post again. Particularly the bit in giant red text at the start. Calling the OP a liar is not on.

Also if anyone has a problem with a mod action (warning/infractions etc) them PM the mod, don't question it on thread.

P_1

Good grief!! First of all your restraint is admirable, I'm fairly sure I would have lost it with the bride in a spectacular fashion if I were in your shoes. You're certainly making the right decision in cutting her from your life given how she has behaved through this entire debacle and it seems her family weren't best pleased with her either.

Many thanks for sharing.

JanaMay

I agree that there's absolutely no shame in having a small wedding, on a shoestring budget once the guests know what it is! (Doesn't appear AT ALL to be the case here.)

I was at a great wedding a couple of years ago: bride and groom were skint. Register office followed by nice buffet lunch in a lovely venue. I'd say about 70-80 guests. We'd been told that it would end at 7pm and it did. Everyone was then invited back to bride and groom's for BBQ in the garden. The bride wore a dress from a chain store and the groom wore his suit. Witnesses wore whatever they had. No flowers, no official photographer, no blimmin' doves or Chinese lanterns!

We all knew what to expect: a party to celebrate 2 people tying the knot. There were no rows, no disappointment and TBH it was probably the wedding where I gave the most generous cash gift I ever have. I knew the B&G needed it to plan their future.

On topic: no matter how little money you can/ want to spend, there's no excuse for deceiving guests or treating your wedding party and/or family so badly!

MsBubbles

Thank you Toots for all your hard work.
WDIC I think you have shown tremendous patience and grace. I don't know how did it. I've read your update 3 times and I still can't believe
that you were left on the side of the road by the Bride and Groom.

I really hoped that I would be wrong and there would be finger food for the guests.




I have an idea why don't you auction the dress here on boards and give any profit to a charity of your choice.

Electric Sheep

This is really kind of sad. I wonder if there are mental health issues at play.

FouxDaFaFa

ardle1 wrote: »

Hey op, why did you feel the need to let us all know about the misfortunes of others!?
Are you laughing at their misery by any chance... Anyway like another poster said, I also don't see what the big interest is.... Jaysus some couples fcuk of somewhere and get married and wouldn't give two sh!ts if nobody(including family) knew about it.

Hilariously relevant sig.

Meangadh

JanaMay wrote: »

I was at a great wedding a couple of years ago: bride and groom were skint. Register office followed by nice buffet lunch in a lovely venue. I'd say about 70-80 guests. We'd been told that it would end at 7pm and it did. Everyone was then invited back to bride and groom's for BBQ in the garden. The bride wore a dress from a chain store and the groom wore his suit. Witnesses wore whatever they had. No flowers, no official photographer, no blimmin' doves or Chinese lanterns!

We all knew what to expect: a party to celebrate 2 people tying the knot. There were no rows, no disappointment and TBH it was probably the wedding where I gave the most generous cash gift I ever have. I knew the B&G needed it to plan their future.

That sounds absolutely brilliant, I'd love that! As a bride or as a guest.

Weddings are so bloody formulaic nowadays... at least the couple that are the reason for this thread can't be accused of being unoriginal!! :pac:

Esterhase

Thanks to WDIC and Toots for the update!

What an awful, awful day. Good on you OP for sticking around as long as you did, you were a better person than I would have been in the same situation. But on the other hand, it's not like the B&G gave even the smallest fvck about all you had put up with from them, so they have no right to complain about anyone who left early or didn't turn up at all.

It's the bride's family I feel most sorry for now - a big awkward rift over what's supposed to be a happy and generous occasion.

salmocab

There is no shame in having a small / cheap wedding or doing things your own way, this is different this seems to be an effort to spend as little as possible whilst getting the maximum amount of gifts. The guests were treated very badly, its okay to not feed guests IF this is clear to the guests before hand and within the spirit of the day. Nobody should be ashamed of their wedding if they do things their own way and treat their guests with respect, its not about amounts spent but the enjoyment of the whole day by all involved. This couple obviously only cared about two people.

Flippyfloppy

Quite simply it should have said 'party' on the invites instead of 'reception' The fact the b&g misrepresented what they invited their guests to definitely seems like they were attempting to maximise on gifts by pretending it was lavish affair that they had put a lot of money into. Why else would they misword the invites like that?

Why ask people to be in your bridal party and expect them to pay for everything from the dress to their meal? All done in a very underhanded sneaky way ??? B&g if you're reading you should be ashamed.

I've been to plenty of weddings where things were done on the cheap but b&g were always very upfront about it. I would still feel compelled to give my usual cash gift. If I was a guest at this wedding, & left hungry all night with not even finger food, and then expected to provide entertainment in the form of karaeoke I would be very, very peed off.

Tiddlypeeps

ardle1 wrote: »

Hey op, why did you feel the need to let us all know about the misfortunes of others!?
Are you laughing at their misery by any chance... Anyway like another poster said, I also don't see what the big interest is.... Jaysus some couples fcuk of somewhere and get married and wouldn't give two sh!ts if nobody(including family) knew about it.

Misfortune is something bad that happens that you have little/no control over. It's in the name, fortune. No bad luck fell on that bride and groom, it was entirely their own creation.

dashboard_hula

My mother does a lot of wedding decoration - flowers, balloons, chairs, all that business. I do the odd Saturday with her, mostly as a Carrier Of Heavy Things (I'm about as creative as a bag of coal). I was discussing this thread with her and she nearly died a death at the thought of it being one of "her" weddings (we did 3 this weekend) until we both realised that this particular B&G wouldn't have a spent a penny on the kind of extras she provides.

Thank you OP for keeping us updated, and for what seems to be an honest and straightforward accounting (It's fairly easy to spot when someone puts legs on a story and I really didn't get that vibe here). The bit about the bride opening cards at the table nearly had me go under the table in second hand mortification.

I love that what this has shown is that most couples getting married genuinely view this as more than just the pair of them, it's a chance to have a proper oul session with their friends and family. Absolutely nobody I've spoken to would dream of going beyond their means and putting other people under pressure. I even spotted a cousin of mine in this thread (Hi C!) and I already knew her wedding was going to be wonderful because she's so thoughtful but this just sealed it.

(And for a girl who's never getting married, I seem to have an awful lot of Strong Opinions about weddings - drama seems to bring it out in me!)