Cheapskategate aka How Not To Host Your Wedding

rainbowtrout

Deleted User wrote: »

Of course, but my point was that I think most brides would have their BFF as bridesmaid and very often they'd have been friends a very long time, would chat a lot, meet regularly, etc. Part of this interaction would be that they would have (even briefly) discussed the inlaws, coming up to a wedding, and have an idea of who's who, even without having met them.

In this case, the bride is being cagey about everything to do with the wedding, so I can imagine if there was family strife, she's not going to discuss amily with the OP, either.

OP did say she lives an hour away from the bride. They probably don't meet up as often as people who would live close by. It's also very easy to pass off questions about the family when the friend isn't going to meet them.

-Are the family all excited about the wedding?
-Yep, can't wait.

Who's gonna know if the bride is lying?

beyondbelief67

Also no rehearsal as a civil wedding so no time to meet them then, and I think the penny finally dropped for the family that there was no proper food/ reception when no dinner rehearsal either, so again no time to meet anyone then, plus it's usually the brides mum who would do intros as the proud matriarch and she wasn't there.

rainbowtrout

rainbowtrout wrote: »

OP did say she lives an hour away from the bride. They probably don't meet up as often as people who would live close by. It's also very easy to pass off questions about the family when the friend isn't going to meet them.

-Are the family all excited about the wedding?
-Yep, can't wait.

Who's gonna know if the bride is lying?

Sorry Rainbowtrout - I don't think I'm explaining myself properly - I actually agree with you.

I was saying that a "normal" bride would have this kind of relationship with her bridesmaid, but the bride in this story is anything but normal, so I don't think standard wedding party rules apply anyway.

...ie. trying to rationalise anyone's behaviour at THIS wedding would be a waste of time.

rainbowtrout

Deleted User wrote: »

Sorry Rainbowtrout - I don't think I'm explaining myself properly - I actually agree with you.

I was saying that a "normal" bride would have this kind of relationship with her bridesmaid, but the bride in this story is anything but normal, so I don't think standard wedding party rules apply anyway.

Neither did I. I was agreeing with you too missusj

Lucuma

fineso.mom wrote: »

Just a thought WDIC,,get your BM dress out of the bin,give it a wash,take a few pics and throw it up on eBay or better yet auction it off here on boards. I for one would bid on it, would love to wear it out some night ...."yes girls, this is the actual dress that WDIC wore to the wedding ".

OMG so true! WDIC you paid for that dress.....don't throw it away

honeygirl

Hi WDIC, Thanks for posting an update and fair play to you for staying for the day. Also do sell the dress and the hair clip.

shewasdiesel

fineso.mom wrote: »

Just a thought WDIC,,get your BM dress out of the bin,give it a wash,take a few pics and throw it up on eBay or better yet auction it off here on boards. I for one would bid on it, would love to wear it out some night ...."yes girls, this is the actual dress that WDIC wore to the wedding ".

It's true, misery loves company ! The misery and family row dress must be preserved for our enjoyment !

Oryx

Its true, that is now a famous dress. Sell it!

Tiddlypeeps

I wonder if they knew before hand that they were going to alienate everybody in their lives with this stunt, or if they believed that people would just go along with it because it's their wedding day and forget about it afterwards. It's fairly clear that their motives were do it cheap, maximise profits. But I'd love to know if they even considered if there would be any fall out because of it.

leesadin

So glad we got an update!!! Near cried when I came home Saturday and the thread was closed!! Thanks to WDIC and toots for the update!!! I feel awful for WDIC and all you went through... I'm bridesmaid for the first time next year and after reading this I don't think I can b disappointed!!!

shewasdiesel

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

I wonder if they knew before hand that they were going to alienate everybody in their lives with this stunt, or if they believed that people would just go along with it because it's their wedding day and forget about it afterwards. It's fairly clear that their motives were do it cheap, maximise profits. But I'd love to know if they even considered if there would be any fall out because of it.

I'd say they had it well worked out before the wedding certain friends and family weren't really friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU on them. Two wrongs don't make a right though. No one should be taking any pleasure in this sorry tale. Hopefully some lessons have been learned by both sides.

bucketybuck

This whole thread sounds like classic Shit-that-didn't-happen.txt.

Oryx

Its been mentioned before, but in the other thread there was a lot of messing and banter yet here its less so. I think its shock - I don't think anyone realised just how badly this wedding would go.

There are weddings that are planned badly, or where things go wrong, but this one was done in such a greedy, rude, distasteful way it is worse than any of us though it would be. I find it hard to see how anyone could have their head so firmly planted up their ass as to behave so badly . I know some say its a big FU to everyone but tbh I don't see vindictiveness in it, just complete ignorance.

retro:electro

Wdic at any point did you get the feeling that the bride or anyone at all maybe knew about this thread? I would love to know!

robinph

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I'd say they had it well worked out before the wedding certain friends and family weren't really friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU on them. Two wrongs don't make a right though. No one should be taking any pleasure in this sorry tale. Hopefully some lessons have been learned by both sides.

However much you may be annoyed with your family and friends, I can't see anyone going to the bother of messing up their own wedding as a way of getting back at them. Or if they were it would have been more elaborately planned to do so.

Just sounds like a serious lack of awareness of social norms, and not caring enough to find out what should be done or ask for help.

Michellenman

athtrasna wrote: »

I'm looking at photos on FB of a wedding at an Inn...there's a photobooth though. Can't see this B&G having forked out for that!

Hahah - thats the one i was at! Can confirm it was not the same wedding as the op, more food and drink provided than we could possibly have consumed and i doubt anyone had a bad time! But then again, the b&g and that wedding are lovely people unlike the OPs 'friend' it would seem!

rainbowtrout

robinph wrote: »

Just sounds like a serious lack of awareness of social norms, and not caring enough to find out what should be done or ask for help.

I don't think it was a lack of awareness, the bride was avoiding all questions about food. She knew exactly what she was doing. If she was unaware of it, she would have just said, 'Oh, we're not having dinner' and then maybe have been a bit taken aback when everyone had a meltdown about it.

bucketybuck

Has there been any verification that any of this is true?

Obviously names and details would be kept secret but was there anything whatsoever that pointed to this being more than just a story from one person?

eviltwin

I don't believe a word of it but it's been highly entertaining none the less

KKkitty

In all fairness the bride and groom obviously have been to weddings or have heard about other weddings so it's not like they didn't know about basic things like providing a proper meal for the bridal party and evening reception food.

leck

ohohseven wrote: »

I've read this thread and the thread before hand and I am struggling to find what the big deal is.

As Toots said in the ground rules:

Toots* wrote: »

First and foremost, a few ground rules:

...No attacking the OP - if you don't like the story, don't agree with her posting it, don't believe it, whatever, then just don't bother replying to it...

Tarzana

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't believe a word of it but it's been highly entertaining none the less

Really? Why would she bother to lie? And her story has been very consistent and detailed.

eviltwin

Tarzana wrote: »

Really? Why would she bother to lie? And her story has been very consistent and detailed.

I'm not attacking her, its been a great thread and I'm glad she posted it and the update. It's been the best thread on the forum ever.

kylith

The poor turnout at the afters sounds to me like the Bride's family gave a heads-up to as many people as they could about the lack of food.

Yeah_Right

I just want to say thanks to WDIC for putting this thread up. I would never visit this forum but I was entertained all last week with this story. I'm sorry the OP had to deal with all this mess BUT ............
Am I the only one who is glad that the wedding was a complete train wreck?? I would have felt so let down if it had gone smoothly after such a brilliant build up all week.

Yes I know that makes me an evil person but hey..... I get to live with myself 24 hours a day

shewasdiesel

bucketybuck wrote: »

Has there been any verification that any of this is true?

Obviously names and details would be kept secret but was there anything whatsoever that pointed to this being more than just a story from one person?

You're NOT allowed to ask any such questions, please don't spoil the glee

robinph

rainbowtrout wrote: »

I don't think it was a lack of awareness, the bride was avoiding all questions about food. She knew exactly what she was doing. If she was unaware of it, she would have just said, 'Oh, we're not having dinner' and then maybe have been a bit taken aback when everyone had a meltdown about it.

Yep, she knew what she was doing, but I don't think it was out of any kind of evilness against anyone. Just didn't know how to do it right.

If they had been out to setup a disaster of a wedding for some reason then, whilst it was an unintentional disaster, they failed miserably at either having a great do or a terrible one and only managed to annoy a few guests. Seems that she did a better number on the family, but still would have been a bigger ending to the movie if they had kept them onboard until the final scene... if it was deliberate rather than just idiotic.

rainbowtrout

Yeah_Right wrote: »

I just want to say thanks to WDIC for putting this thread up. I would never visit this forum but I was entertained all last week with this story. I'm sorry the OP had to deal with all this mess BUT ............
Am I the only one who is glad that the wedding was a complete train wreck?? I would have felt so let down if it had gone smoothly after such a brilliant build up all week.

Yes I know that makes me an evil person but hey..... I get to live with myself 24 hours a day

Not so much glad but I'm glad that people voted with their feet and didn't attend what was quite rightly described as a shakedown.

I said on the other thread that Irish people won't grumble directly to your face so if guests were presented with a dinner and a bill or a menu with prices they would more than likely pay up and bitch about it later. And that's exactly what happened at the dinner. But if the family got word out to the guests that there was no food at the reception it gave guests a chance to decide whether to go and be conned or not. And they made their feelings clear.

Now of course it's not known if the family did let guests know what was gonna happen at the reception but I'd bet my house on a phone call or text saying 'no meal for guests, couple getting fed elsewhere, none of the immediate family attending due to major row' was enough for any prospective guest close to the family to say 'I'm not going to all the expense of the day out to get involved in this sh*tstorm'

I'd have been disappointed if everyone turned up and it panned out as described and everyone let the couple away with treating them so disdainfully.

stinkle

kylith wrote: »

The poor turnout at the afters sounds to me like the Bride's family gave a heads-up to as many people as they could about the lack of food.

That and the beautician said loadsa people had cancelled appointments too! You wouldn't go to that trouble for an afters, folk mustve thought it was the whole day.

Thanks for the update WDIC and Toots. Was out yesterday when I saw the update and couikdnt wait to read. It was actually underwhelming in that the day was so terrible and WDIC put up with so much! Like it actually did go as expected, which is sad for all concerned.

Can I ask was the bride any way upset at the dad not giving her away? Speaking as a wedding softie I always blub then and it was so lovely to have that moment with my own dad (amazingly didn't cry myself!), I'd be heartbroken if a row at the last minute changed all that.