Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

fiftythree

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'd actually love to join a board game meetup club or something

you into scrabble hugo?
i used to love board game nights.
got into video games then and people lost interest but i still love them myself.
they are great fun, i kind of love all the squabbles about rules etc:D
you know what i mean, "no way you picked that q at random you cheater you looked in the bag, with your u lying in waiting in the trenches!!"
"HOW.DARE.YOU.ACCUSE.ME!!"...etc.
i like em all really even the die ones though not as much.

Call Me Jimmy

In fairness a couple christmasis ago someone whipped out the board games, drink involved always makes it... interesting.

In other news: unbeknownst to the food items in my kitchen, I am deciding who of them I will eat and who will be spared.

fr336

There are fireworks going on outside mine right now. They should make me anxious, but they don't. I like fireworks. I don't like Katy Perry but I kind of like this song and think it's good for anyone here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

cookie24

now if we could all show our true colours instead of been held back by our ailments

Call Me Jimmy

I was just thinking one of the reasons I'm afraid of getting close to anyone is exactly that my true colours may not be the nicest. It's easy to be cool/nice/decent to people at arms length, I'd be afraid I'd turn into my dad or worse if someone really got to know me

Hugo Stiglitz

elfy4eva wrote: »

Hey guys I hope you dont mind me venting here. I started a new job and im having a very hard time adjusting to the workload. Finding myself extremely anxious and upset every other day.

To make matters worse I've had a small run in with a colleague(who criticized a job I did). Which I feel will now add tension/further criticism. I've had moments of anxiety in my life before but recently I find myself struggling to face the workday ahead.

Any advice for the workplace blues?

So sorry to hear that Elfy. New jobs can be stressful enough without assholes adding to it. Had a similar run in with a colleague too. Some people have zero personal skills.

fiftythree

fr336 wrote: »

There are fireworks going on outside mine right now. They should make me anxious, but they don't. I like fireworks. I don't like Katy Perry but I kind of like this song and think it's good for anyone here

like that song too even though i wouldn't be a perry fan

fiftythree

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

In fairness a couple christmasis ago someone whipped out the board games, drink involved always makes it... interesting.

In other news: unbeknownst to the food items in my kitchen, I am deciding who of them I will eat and who will be spared.

EAT THEM ALL.SPARE NOBODY

fiftythree

cookie24 wrote: »

now if we could all show our true colours instead of been held back by our ailments

I would love that. we're all brilliant really. just a bit unwell at present.

fiftythree

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I was just thinking one of the reasons I'm afraid of getting close to anyone is exactly that my true colours may not be the nicest. It's easy to be cool/nice/decent to people at arms length, I'd be afraid I'd turn into my dad or worse if someone really got to know me

but the person who got to know you...who knows what is going on in their head too?could be all sorts.
none of us are perfect.

Hugo Stiglitz

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I was just thinking one of the reasons I'm afraid of getting close to anyone is exactly that my true colours may not be the nicest. It's easy to be cool/nice/decent to people at arms length, I'd be afraid I'd turn into my dad or worse if someone really got to know me

I'm fairly sure my true colours aren't the best at all.

fiftythree

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'm fairly sure my true colours aren't the best at all.

but we are people, humans, with all that entails.
i don't think for a second we are all benevolent creatures.
good and evil or whatever you want to call the poles, reside in us all.
in different amounts and at different times.
i think though we have a choice and can suppress bits of us that we don't like,
up to a point. don't think there are any shiny perfect angels out there.
i certainly haven't met any of them.

Hugo Stiglitz

I've very negative I must say. I don't know if I always was or not though.

fiftythree

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I've very negative I must say. I don't know if I always was or not though.

are you consistently negative?
i can relate to you, i feel awful about myself at times, can loathe myself,
but at other times i quite like myself.
i flip very quickly. you can't remember a time when you weren't negative?
just curious. everyone is different i know.

cookie24

night night

Hugo Stiglitz

fiftythree wrote: »

are you consistently negative?
i can relate to you, i feel awful about myself at times, can loathe myself,
but at other times i quite like myself.
i flip very quickly. you can't remember a time when you weren't negative?
just curious. everyone is different i know.

The last few years I've been fairly negative yeah. I do have my fun times I suppose but am mostly moody over something or other

fiftythree

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

The last few years I've been fairly negative yeah. I do have my fun times I suppose but am mostly moody over something or other

hope a fun time comes about soon for you again.
i would say i have been negative for many years too but i had the odd spell
where my mood was lifted a lot for a few weeks or months.
as well as the minor mood changes from day to day.
never really got used to or accepted that my low mood would be permanent. did you? i mean accept that maybe that's how it'll be long term or are you hopeful things will be ok?

i think will go for a walk now, the lunatic partiers in their costumes will be about. hope thay have fun but not cause trouble.
but i am going to walk by the canal to avoid them.nice evening for a walk.

Hugo Stiglitz

fiftythree wrote: »

never really got used to or accepted that my low mood would be permanent. did you? i mean accept that maybe that's how it'll be long term or are you hopeful things will be ok?

I never got used to it really either and I fear it has made me rather bitter.

Enjoy your walk there sir. Hopefully the dopes won't be about there

fiftythree

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I never got used to it really either and I fear it has made me rather bitter.

Enjoy your walk there sir. Hopefully the dopes won't be about there

cut short my walk. canal was nice though. back early because cold evening for one, and they were everywhere. dressed as man size penises, zorros and all sorts. i would like it if they weren't all so tanked up with the drink.
i saw one of them defecate on the street. snow white she was.
lovely. just lovely. i think i live in a nightmare tonight.
halloween can be fun but not like this.
don't be bitter. try to look ahead. i get bitter then realise it is doing me
no good so chase the thoughts away.

Hugo Stiglitz

fiftythree wrote: »

cut short my walk. canal was nice though. back early because cold evening for one, and they were everywhere. dressed as man size penises, zorros and all sorts. i would like it if they weren't all so tanked up with the drink.
i saw one of them defecate on the street. snow white she was.
lovely. just lovely. i think i live in a nightmare tonight.
halloween can be fun but not like this.
don't be bitter. try to look ahead. i get bitter then realise it is doing me
no good so chase the thoughts away.

Jesus! Some people eh?!

fiftythree

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Jesus! Some people eh?!

some people at some times under some circumstances i suppose.
snow white's friends thought it was hilarious that she defecate
on the pavement and had a clap and chant thing going similar to when people are encouraged to down a drink. i found it revolting. and the night is still young.
so i went home to where it is safe.
wouldn't be interested in that sort of thing at all myself.

stop animal cruelty

out of lexapro for the next few days, dreading it cause still going through a rough patch....in such a negative mode atm, no motivation no energy....cant let go of an ex, cant move on....feel like l need a big cry, let it all out, but l cant, feels like lv it all buried deep deep down somewhere inside me....scared everything will get too much and il just breakdown, just wish l could get out of my head

Hugo Stiglitz

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

out of lexapro for the next few days, dreading it cause still going through a rough patch....in such a negative mode atm, no motivation no energy....cant let go of an ex, cant move on....feel like l need a big cry, let it all out, but l cant, feels like lv it all buried deep deep down somewhere inside me....scared everything will get too much and il just breakdown, just wish l could get out of my head

Sorry to hear all this, hope it passes for you soon.

Hugo Stiglitz

fiftythree wrote: »

some people at some times under some circumstances i suppose.
snow white's friends thought it was hilarious that she defecate
on the pavement and had a clap and chant thing going similar to when people are encouraged to down a drink. i found it revolting. and the night is still young.
so i went home to where it is safe.
wouldn't be interested in that sort of thing at all myself.

That wouldn't be my scene either no

Call Me Jimmy

I also worry about the effect of all the burying I've done (not literally, that would be something to worry about ). It's a classic wrong-thing-to-do but I've done it for so many years now I'm afraid of it coming out in one big go.

fiftythree

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

That wouldn't be my scene either no

maybe i am getting old but i can't bring myself to see the benefit in that sort of thing now. not one bit.
i have the first episode of the shoe you recommended loaded up, the horror one.
that will suffice for me for getting into the spirit of things.
hope you are all ok out there guys.

fiftythree

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I also worry about the effect of all the burying I've done (not literally, that would be something to worry about ). It's a classic wrong-thing-to-do but I've done it for so many years now I'm afraid of it coming out in one big go.

i don't think it is likely all will be unearthed at once by some cosmic JCB.
best you do the work yourself a spadeful at a time jimmy.
the spade will get lighter with each load of dirt moved.

Killer_banana

Starting counselling in two weeks provided I can sort out timetable stuff with work.

Been doing okay for the most part the last few days. Had two panic attacks in work on Sunday and while sitting on the floor or the disabled toilet struggling to breath sucks I do feel I just needed that release. I do wish that release hadn't come in the middle of a shift but I was on with people who already know how ****ed up I am so didn't need to do too much explaining. And I managed to stay on for the rest of my shift (albeit on the floor instead of on deli as I was originally) so kind of proud of myself for that one.

Week off after next week and I am going hoooome. So excited.

fiftythree

Killer_banana wrote: »

Starting counselling in two weeks provided I can sort out timetable stuff with work.

Been doing okay for the most part the last few days. Had two panic attacks in work on Sunday and while sitting on the floor or the disabled toilet struggling to breath sucks I do feel I just needed that release. I do wish that release hadn't come in the middle of a shift but I was on with people who already know how ****ed up I am so didn't need to do too much explaining. And I managed to stay on for the rest of my shift (albeit on the floor instead of on deli as I was originally) so kind of proud of myself for that one.

Week off after next week and I am going hoooome. So excited.

sorry you had a bad day sunday KB but fair play for getting through it.
you're doing a lot better than i could at the moment. well done.
and you should be proud.every right to be. enjoy the time off and the home place. best of luck

Killer_banana

fiftythree wrote: »

sorry you had a bad day sunday KB but fair play for getting through it.
you're doing a lot better than i could at the moment. well done.
and you should be proud.every right to be. enjoy the time off and the home place. best of luck

I hope things improve for you soon. A lot of it is just to do with being surrounded my wonderfully supportive people. I am very lucky to work with the people I do because without that support system I'd be a bit of a wreck I think.