Sexism you deal with in everyday life? ***Mod Note in first post. Please read***

Wibbs

Candie wrote: »

I'd love this statement explained in detail.

I'm afraid I wouldn't C.

Circular motion you're already permanently banned in AH for trolling and have another permanent ban in the Gentlemen's Club. This makes me suspect this line of inquiry will not go well and drag this thread off topic where women will have to justify their positions. We've had enough of this in the thread already. Please don't post in this thread again.

Roadtrippin

username123 wrote: »

I dont know if I just had a bad one or if it was a common thing across VEC schools but our career guidence counseller at school was a disaster and sexist with it.

If you told him you wanted to do a degree he laughed and dismissed you, and told you only the lucky lads from private christian brothers schools would be going to university and then, if you were female he told you to get into hairdressing and if you were male he wanted you to get into plastic engineering (whatever that is).

They were the only two suggestions he had for people. Occasionally someone would go to him with an idea of their own - and he dismissed or encouraged based on traditional gender roles.

I never went to visit with him myself, he wasnt interested in anyone who wanted to further their education - so he was of no use to me.

Ridiculous, isn't it? I reckon they should do some under cover research in schools to see how commonly career guidance counselors are sexist this way.. Bet it would make for interesting reading just how many of them still stick to suggesting gender stereotypical career paths to students.

clairefontaine wrote: »

I suck at multi-tasking for example. Am much better at tunnel vision focusing on one thing very intensely and getting it done. In fact, doing several things at a time, chances are I will fail at all of them.
So...because I'm a woman am I just expected to be good at that and therefore get handed five or six things to do at the same time? And then when I fail, am judged more harshly than a man would be?

I am the exact same with multi-tasking. I'm more of a focus-on-one-thing-a-time person. I can multitask depending on what kind of tasks I am combining but mostly I prefer the tunnel-vision approach as well which sometimes results in some of my friends winding me up with comments such as 'I thought you being a women are supposed to be good at multi-tasking?' somehow making me feel inadequate as a women a bit when I hear this... But it works for me so I don't pay these comments too much attention!

Roadtrippin

shoos wrote: »

Just want to say - this has been a brilliant thread and thanks to the OP for posting!

You're welcome Thanked you right back! I totally agree that this has been a very enlightening thread!

shoos wrote: »

I'd like to leave this TEDTalk here also. It's by a man called Tony Porter, not sure who he is exactly, but he's speaking about how female oppression hurts both boys and girls. Really lovely talk, definitely worth a watch.

http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html

"If it would destroy [a 12-year-old boy] to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?” (Tony Porter)

Thanks also for this TEDtalk. Enjoyed watching it very much!

Posy

This happened to me a couple of days ago and made me think of this thread!

In work there was a small problem with the electrics. I tried to find the cause and obviously checked the fusebox to see if a fuse had tripped but all the switches were okay.

I phoned our maintenance department to report it. The woman who answered the phone asked me a few questions and suggested a tripped switch.

Her: "It could be a fuse."
Me: "Nope. Definitely not a fuse. The first thing I did was look at the fuseboard and none of the switches are tripped."
Her: "You need to try and find a box. It's probably on the wall and will have lots of
switches in it."
Me: "Erm... what? Sorry, I just said it's NOT a fuse. I looked in the fusebox already before I rang you."
Her: "Actually, is there a man working there that I could speak to? He'll know what I'm talking about and can check if it's a fuse."
Me: :eek: :mad:

coffee_cake

Good lord
Did you finally get it through her skull?

Posy

She was pretty miffed that I wouldn't hand the phone over to my male colleague but she did eventually believe me that I know what a switch facing the opposite direction to a row of switches looks like.

vitani

Posy wrote: »

This happened to me a couple of days ago and made me think of this thread!

In work there was a small problem with the electrics. I tried to find the cause and obviously checked the fusebox to see if a fuse had tripped but all the switches were okay.

I phoned our maintenance department to report it. The woman who answered the phone asked me a few questions and suggested a tripped switch.

Her: "It could be a fuse."
Me: "Nope. Definitely not a fuse. The first thing I did was look at the fuseboard and none of the switches are tripped."
Her: "You need to try and find a box. It's probably on the wall and will have lots of
switches in it."
Me: "Erm... what? Sorry, I just said it's NOT a fuse. I looked in the fusebox already before I rang you."
Her: "Actually, is there a man working there that I could speak to? He'll know what I'm talking about and can check if it's a fuse."
Me: :eek: :mad:

Sweet zombie Jesus. You'd expect more from someone who probably faces the same kind of casual sexism all the time.

Posy

I probably shouldn't, but I do find women undermining other women worse than sexism from men.

Working in retail, anytime I had a male colleague, the customers would always assume that he was the manager and address any problems/queries to him, completely ignoring me.

shoos

I just remembered a riddle we were given in university one day, that's quite relevant to this thread.

It goes:

A father and son have a car accident and are both badly hurt. They are both taken to separate hospitals. When the boy is taken in for an operation, the surgeon (doctor) says 'I can not do the surgery because this is my son'. How is this possible?

The surgeon is his mother

This is going to be obvious as pie given what this thread has been about, but you should really try it out on some unsuspecting people, completely out of context, and see what happens. I was sitting in a lecture hall of about 50/60-something people, and no one got it, including myself. Everyone was looking around at each other, stumped.

Wibbs

Deleted wildly and frankly daft off topic post from patdusty2010(and posts that responded I'm afraid). Indeed patdusty2010 given you've already got a ban for trolling elsewhere, plus you ignored all the many warnings already given in this thread and in the very first post and in the title you gets a week off for derailing the thread and ignoring all of that.

newport2

shoos wrote: »

I just remembered a riddle we were given in university one day, that's quite relevant to this thread.

It goes:

A father and son have a car accident and are both badly hurt. They are both taken to separate hospitals. When the boy is taken in for an operation, the surgeon (doctor) says 'I can not do the surgery because this is my son'. How is this possible?

The surgeon is his mother

This is going to be obvious as pie given what this thread has been about, but you should really try it out on some unsuspecting people, completely out of context, and see what happens. I was sitting in a lecture hall of about 50/60-something people, and no one got it, including myself. Everyone was looking around at each other, stumped.

A female friend who is a doctor was telling me how frustrating it was to be regularly assumed to be a nurse. Asked her the above scenario an hour or two later, she came up with about 5 answers, none right. She nearly blew a fuse when I told her the answer, absolutely raging with herself

Jelly2

newport2 wrote: »

A female friend who is a doctor was telling me how frustrating it was to be regularly assumed to be a nurse. Asked her the above scenario an hour or two later, she came up with about 5 answers, none right. She nearly blew a fuse when I told her the answer, absolutely raging with herself

I honestly thought my husband would get it right when I asked him last night - but, no, he didn't! We were both equally bemused after I told him the answer; it made us both think.

Daisy78

I work as an engineer on a construction site. Generally I get on very well with my male colleagues but there have been a few incidents. We work with one particular contracting company on a regular basis. On the very first site meeting we did all the usual introductions and discussed the forthcoming project. For the entire length of the meeting the manager of the sub contracting firm directed the entire conversation to my two male colleagues despite the fact it had to be made clear that I was the one that would be managing the project. This continued for months with emails and phone calls being directed to my male colleagues in spite of them setting him straight. He wouldn't even greet me when he would arrive on site, like I was invisible. He has also treated one of my female colleagues in a similar fashion. And this from a guy who is supposed to be well educated. I also get similar treatment from some male colleagues who don't work in my immediate environment. What they don't realise that this "little woman" has a fierce temper and will gladly put them (either make or female) in their place if needs be.

Another incident that stands out was a guy who told me that I had no right to express my opinion during a conversation onsingle mothers as "ive never had a f*cking dick up me so what would I know". I was 17 and this was during a tea time conversation. It was my summer job, I needed the money and felt I should say nothing. But I was distraught. And I wouldn't mind I was actually trying to defend single mothers but he assumed I was saying something else. Yes he was being a dickhead but it would be hard to imagine that if the gender roles were switched that a woman would make such an explicit comment about a young guys sexuality.

La_Gordy

I just received an email from an acquaintance suggesting I turn to prostitution as I'm unemployed. Not amused.

coffee_cake

La_Gordy wrote: »

I just received an email from an acquaintance suggesting I turn to prostitution as I'm unemployed. Not amused.

"I have a better business idea, giving lessons in not being an asshole. You can be my first customer"

ZzubZzub

There's a guy that works in the coffee shop close by (lets call him Mike), and is friends with one of the guys we live with. My partner and I are in there often enough, and he always gives us a discount. But if it's just me, he doesn't give a discount. He directs all questions to my boyfriend, even if they're about me and I'm standing right there! Example; "Does she have a job?" "Has she finished uni" etc...

Mike was in the house one day, and himself had made dinner for me. Mike asked what kind of woman I was that I wouldn't do the dinner, and not in a joking way. I calmly explained I had just come home from a 15 hour shift while my love had been off all day, and that if he continued to make comments like that, he wouldn't be coming back into the house again, friend of housemate or not. He got all defensive claiming that in his culture this would be unacceptable. He's been in the UK for 8 years and is around 25 years old.

Part of me debates if he's sexist, or just really dislikes me!

Roisy7

Years ago, my old housemate was giving my male friend and I a lift somewhere, and we weren't sure where we were going. He kept handing the map to my friend, who can't read maps to save his life. The friend handed it back to me, I told him which road to take. Five minutes later, he ignores me and gives the map back to my friend.

Definitely because I'm a girl. And I was right btw.

Wibbs

Cleeo wrote: »

He got all defensive claiming that in his culture this would be unacceptable.

I've got news for him, he's not in "his culture" anymore and even basic manners, never mind a modicum of brains would suggest he adapts. When in Rome and all that.

sherbett32

My sister often suggests to her late teen daughters that "they should find a rich man to buy them nice jewellery". I suggested that perhaps the girls should be more concerned with getting a decent career so that they can buy themselves "nice jewellery" (if that's what they want). I was told that I'm just bitter as I never found a rich man. (I have my own money thank you!)

clairefontaine

Oh I just remembered .... my father wouldn't pay for my driving lessons on account that "girls don't need to know to drive." Paid for my brother's though and got him a car.

MurdyWurdy

clairefontaine wrote: »

Oh I just remembered .... my father wouldn't pay for my driving lessons on account that "girls don't need to know to drive." Paid for my brother's though and got him a car.

:eek: Crazy! My Dad is of the opinion that it's more important for women to drive so as to be more independent and get around safely etc. I don't think that classes as sexist, he thought it was important for my bro to learn too.

Your post did remind me that my mum's father said that a university education was wasted on a woman and wouldn't let my mum go to UCD even though she had a place. He encouraged my uncle to go though but he didn't want to. My mum went back as a mature student later on anyway and got her degree (go her!) but it shocks me to think that was only in the seventies that she was told it was a waste to educate a woman.

jaja321

clairefontaine wrote: »

Oh I just remembered .... my father wouldn't pay for my driving lessons on account that "girls don't need to know to drive." Paid for my brother's though and got him a car.

Seriously? Crikey, that's crazy.

jaja321

My father is one of 7 children, the eldest sibling being female. My granny and grandad really valued education, but only had enough money for one to go to University. They sent the eldest girl when she finished school, considering it was 'back in the day', am fairly proud that they weren't sexist about it.

darklighter

Not sure if this counts but sure see what yiz think:

Was listening to Today FM this morning and they were doing the sports bulletin & they were finished & Ian Dempsey had to remind the sports guy that the Ireland Ladies had trounced the English ladies in the rugby. Not only trounced but beat them for the first time ever!! And they werent even going to mention it.

Now when (if) we ever beat New Zealand in (mens) rugby, it'll be all over the news for at least a week. Now I know there are differing levels of interest between the two teams etc. but not to mention it at all was abit wrong.

MrCreosote

darklighter wrote: »

Not sure if this counts but sure see what yiz think:

Was listening to Today FM this morning and they were doing the sports bulletin & they were finished & Ian Dempsey had to remind the sports guy that the Ireland Ladies had trounced the English ladies in the rugby. Not only trounced but beat them for the first time ever!! And they werent even going to mention it.

Now when (if) we ever beat New Zealand in (mens) rugby, it'll be all over the news for at least a week. Now I know there are differing levels of interest between the two teams etc. but not to mention it at all was abit wrong.

Nothing unusual in that unfortunately. The way the media deal with women's sports is a disgrace. A particular bugbear of mine is the way female athletes are referred to by their first name only, far more often than men who are usually first name/surname or surname only.

You're more likely to read about female athletes on the social pages of the newspaper than the sports pages.

jugger0

MrCreosote wrote: »

Nothing unusual in that unfortunately. The way the media deal with women's sports is a disgrace

Hardly sexist, women aren't as interested in sport as men, it would be a waste of time and money promoting female sports when the majority of females couldn't give a fiddlers about it.

jugger0

Das Kitty wrote: »

It beats me, you know. I have friends who would be incredibly equality minded, but somehow their four year old daughter has a very narrow view about the roles of girls and boys. She gave out to my son for wanting to play with his own doll and kitchen last week, even though her dad does all the childcare and cooking in her house. It's really weird! :pac:

I still feel happy when my son chooses something pink in a shop or to play with barbies. But I can see it sneaking in. I'm only allowed play with female action figures when we're playing together or he throws a fit.

Gender socialization isnt the reason boys and girls prefer different toys/colours, its biological.

beks101

It's funny, I starting into this thread thinking I had never really experienced much sexism, but as I read through the pages I found myself nodding along, "yeah that happens to me..that too..."

The saddest thing is these incidences of sexism are so casual I've become completely accustomed and desensitized, I've just written them off as normal.

Even right this second, sitting here watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, (long day in the office, don't judge!), Brandi is taking a trip to Vegas to give a class about "Empowering Women" which involves giving a pole dancing / stripping lesson. Why does female empowerment have to involve an explicit display of sexuality? Can you imagine men being encouraged to "empower" themselves by draping their half naked bodies around a pole?

One thing that Ive always experienced in the workplace is the old talking-to-the-chest / blatant body scans mid conversation. I can think of at least three married middle aged men who do this any time I engage them, all three senior producers, highly respected, intelligent men who I would otherwise feel privileged to work alongside.

This will happen when I walk into an important meeting, when Im briefing them on an important story, or when I pass them in the hallway and it's the most unsettling thing in the world to feel like someone important is staking me out sexually when I'm in the middle of a crucial assignment for the programme. It's embarrassing. I dress conservatively at work & I've literally devoted my life to my professional reputation.

Another Real Housewives gem: My husband is the king of the house and I treat him as so. Because if you don't feed him, keep him happy in the bedroom & stay beautiful, he'll find it elsewhere and why shouldn't he?

Think it's time I switched the TV off...

Mod

jugger0 banned from The Ladies' Lounge

clairefontaine

MrCreosote wrote: »

Nothing unusual in that unfortunately. The way the media deal with women's sports is a disgrace. A particular bugbear of mine is the way female athletes are referred to by their first name only, far more often than men who are usually first name/surname or surname only.

You're more likely to read about female athletes on the social pages of the newspaper than the sports pages.

The way media treats sports is ridiculous all around. Why is it anything more than entertainment?

Why is on the news in the first place?

Why is it so morally scrutinised? [Who cares if they take drugs for example?]