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Sexism you deal with in everyday life? ***Mod Note in first post. Please read***

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    #572
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    Does she have proof? Otherwise her word against his. He'll just deny it.

    You could say that about a lot of crime, but it should still be reported. Even if nothing explicitly happens this time, a complaint may pop up if someone has cause to report him again.


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    #573
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    username123 wrote: »
    You could say that about a lot of crime, but it should still be reported. Even if nothing explicitly happens this time, a complaint may pop up if someone has cause to report him again.

    Yep. And you have to be careful. If you don't have proof, then you look like the one who made a false accusation. Be careful not to do It too publically or you are vulnerable to slander charges.


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    #574
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    Yep. And you have to be careful. If you don't have proof, then you look like the one who made a false accusation. Be careful not to do It too publically or you are vulnerable to slander charges.

    I don't think a confidential report to the guards can be construed as slander, legally I mean.

    Sorry to point this out, but is this conversation not way off topic on this thread?


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    #575
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    username123 wrote: »
    I don't think a confidential report to the guards can be construed as slander, legally I mean.

    Sorry to point this out, but is this conversation not way off topic on this thread?

    I don't think so. She's asking what to to do isn't she?


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    #576
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    People come on here, sometimes upset, as I think is the case here, to post about sexism they deal with in everyday life. Sometimes they are maybe upset about the treatment of a friend, sometimes its about their own experience, anyway they think they have an experience of sexism, which is usually an unpleasant and upsetting experience.
    I think a lot of posters are looking for support or maybe a chance to express something in the Ladies Lounge that they may feel is often not understood elsewhere. They may feel that the experience of sexism is a common enough experience among women and that it stands a better chance of being understood and listened to in the ladies lounge than elsewhere.
    Unfortunately..in my opinion.. sexism is a hot topic here and agreement on just what constitutes sexism is rarely agreed.
    So posters are often asked to explain exactly what happened, they are contradicted in their interpretation of the experience as one of sexism, definitions and proof are required, suggestions are made and warnings against the suggestions are then also made.
    All this may be logical and the nature of internet forums but I think this experience may add to ones upset rather than take away from it.
    I think you have to be quite strong in yourself to post here and just after experiencing sexism in your daily life may not be the ideal time to post for your own welfare, unless you really can take the good and brush the rest of it off. I know again that is the ideal, but I have a feeling people may be a lot more vulnerable than we allow for sometimes. I think this thread could do with more empathy to go along with the logic.


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    #577
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    I don't think so. She's asking what to to do isn't she?

    I was referring to our side discussion of what constitutes slander, not the fact of the interview situation. Sorry, I should have been clearer.


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    #578
    Boofle
    Registered Users Posts: 167 ✭✭Boofle


    Ambersky wrote: »
    People come on here, sometimes upset, as I think is the case here, to post about sexism they deal with in everyday life. Sometimes they are maybe upset about the treatment of a friend, sometimes its about their own experience, anyway they think they have an experience of sexism, which is usually an unpleasant and upsetting experience.
    I think a lot of posters are looking for support or maybe a chance to express something in the Ladies Lounge that they may feel is often not understood elsewhere. They may feel that the experience of sexism is a common enough experience among women and that it stands a better chance of being understood and listened to in the ladies lounge than elsewhere.
    Unfortunately..in my opinion.. sexism is a hot topic here and agreement on just what constitutes sexism is rarely agreed.
    So posters are often asked to explain exactly what happened, they are contradicted in their interpretation of the experience as one of sexism, definitions and proof are required, suggestions are made and warnings against the suggestions are then also made.
    All this may be logical and the nature of internet forums but I think this experience may add to ones upset rather than take away from it.
    I think you have to be quite strong in yourself to post here and just after experiencing sexism in your daily life may not be the ideal time to post for your own welfare, unless you really can take the good and brush the rest of it off. I know again that is the ideal, but I have a feeling people may be a lot more vulnerable than we allow for sometimes. I think this thread could do with more empathy to go along with the logic.

    I totally agree, I think empathy is sorely lacking in a lot of boards threads - where people are posting about issues in their lives, perhaps in a state, and all they get back is a lot of sarcasm and very little advice or help.


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    #579
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    ivytwine wrote: »
    If you have big boobs pretty much everything you can wear puts them on "display" as you put it.

    I just can't agree with that, I'm a size 8-10 and a 32e, it's fairly rare my boobs would be on display be it in work or not.

    I've very short hair and twice in the past month I was referred to as "sir" in pubs ordering drinks

    If I want my boobs on display I can dress in a manner that does so, otherwise, it's fairly easy not to.


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    #580
    B0jangles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,951 ✭✭✭B0jangles


    Stheno wrote: »
    I just can't agree with that, I'm a size 8-10 and a 32e, it's fairly rare my boobs would be on display be it in work or not.

    I've very short hair and twice in the past month I was referred to as "sir" in pubs ordering drinksplay" or be

    If I want my boobs on display I can dress in a manner that does so, otherwise, it's fairly easy not to.

    Good for you.

    If I want to wear clothes that are sort of normal for this current burst of good weather then I pretty much have to be all "boobs on display" or be overdressed.

    It's almost as if we sare all different or something?!


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    #581
    ivytwine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ivytwine


    B0jangles wrote: »
    Good for you.

    If I want to wear clothes that are sort of normal for this current burst of good weather then I pretty much have to be all "boobs on display" or be overdressed.

    It's almost as if we sare all different or something?!

    Yeah exactly. I had an old work shirt which was pretty low cut, there was feck all (it was a staff uniform) I could do about apart from wear a high neck t shirt underneath and I could hardly do that in summer.

    I found from a pretty early age (14 or so) I'd get stares and looks and even comments cos of my physical attributes. I was not a confident teenager and wore baggy clothes until I came out of my shell a bit. That didn't stop it tho. Just my experience though, as bojangles points out, we're all different.

    And I'm also a 8-10 and petite, 30DD.


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    #582
    rainbow kirby
    Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 26,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    It gets more difficult once you go beyond a certain size in my opinion/experience. What might be perfectly fine on someone in the DD/E cup range might not be too work-friendly on someone in the G-H cup range. Try buying a button-down shirt to fit a 42" bust and 27-28" waist at the same time - all I can say is that I'm rather thankful for Pepperberry!


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    #583
    MurdyWurdy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,043 ✭✭✭MurdyWurdy


    I'm breastfeeding - I look like a porn star in most of my tops at the moment. I had big enough boobs as it was but now there's really no hiding them!


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    #584
    Amirani
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,523 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    This is something that really scares me: http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/aug/08/british-women-zanzibar-acid-attack

    These sort of attacks are one of the biggest issues facing women in the World today. Absolutely tragic.


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    #585
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    NiallSparky wrote: »
    This is something that really scares me: http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/aug/08/british-women-zanzibar-acid-attack

    These sort of attacks one of the biggest issues facing women in the World today. Absolutely tragic.

    This happened to two of my friends in the South of Spain about 10 years ago, two men threw acid in their faces and tried to bundle them into a car. They were just 17 at the time, absolutely terrifying.


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    #586
    ivytwine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ivytwine


    I expect some Boardsies have already seen this.

    The page has gone down. I reported it :cool: (and I expect others did too)

    http://www.broadsheet.ie/2013/08/08/t-i-t-for-tat/


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    #587
    Amirani
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,523 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    With the Premier League starting tomorrow, one of the lads in my office set up a fantasy football league and used the office mailing list to send an invite out to everyone...everyone who is male. I hope he doesn't mind that I forwarded the invite on to everyone else in the office. :)


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    #588
    IvyTheTerrible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    NiallSparky wrote: »
    With the Premier League starting tomorrow, one of the lads in my office set up a fantasy football league and used the office mailing list to send an invite out to everyone...everyone who is male. I hope he doesn't mind that I forwarded the invite on to everyone else in the office. :)
    That's so annoying. In the two leagues I was in last year, I bet all the men. Maybe he's afraid the girls will beat him??


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    #589
    Lyaiera
    Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭Lyaiera


    NiallSparky wrote: »
    With the Premier League starting tomorrow, one of the lads in my office set up a fantasy football league and used the office mailing list to send an invite out to everyone...everyone who is male. I hope he doesn't mind that I forwarded the invite on to everyone else in the office. :)


    Set up another league and invite everyone but him. The Non-Bigoted-League.


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    #590
    starling
    Registered Users Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    NiallSparky wrote: »
    With the Premier League starting tomorrow, one of the lads in my office set up a fantasy football league and used the office mailing list to send an invite out to everyone...everyone who is male. I hope he doesn't mind that I forwarded the invite on to everyone else in the office. :)

    What a tool! Er, is that even legal? i mean I know it's not official company business, but still...


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    #591
    ivytwine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ivytwine


    Examiner article yesterday about Spanx had a vox pop from a couple of male models about how they feel about women in Spanx...

    One spouted PUA crap about never bringing home a six and how a seven would be automatically busted down to a six for wearing Spanx...

    Pretty guy but just ew.


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    #592
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    ivytwine wrote: »
    Examiner article yesterday about Spanx had a vox pop from a couple of male models about how they feel about women in Spanx...

    One spouted PUA crap about never bringing home a six and how a seven would be automatically busted down to a six for wearing Spanx...

    Pretty guy but just ew.

    I dont understand some parts of the above (bolded)?


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    #593
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,353 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    username123 wrote: »
    I dont understand some parts of the above (bolded)?

    PUA = Pick Up Artist. These are groups of people who use 'theory' and games to try and 'score' women. The book 'The Game' being the most famous. Women are rated 1-10 based on looks


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    #594
    ivytwine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ivytwine


    What pawwed rig said, sorry it wasn't clear. Vox pops are when they ask members of the public their opinion.

    I can't remember the exact quote but it was like, "It's awful when you bring a seven home and after she takes off her spanx, she's a six, because I'd never bring home a six intentionally."

    It's so depressing to reduce people to numbers and even worse when someone gets a national newspaper as a platform to do it. :(


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    #595
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Thanks, I kind of gleaned the number bit from the context but Id never heard the term "vox pop" before.


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    #596
    starling
    Registered Users Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    ivytwine wrote: »
    What pawwed rig said, sorry it wasn't clear. Vox pops are when they ask members of the public their opinion.

    I can't remember the exact quote but it was like, "It's awful when you bring a seven home and after she takes off her spanx, she's a six, because I'd never bring home a six intentionally."

    It's so depressing to reduce people to numbers and even worse when someone gets a national newspaper as a platform to do it. :(

    Oh God yes to all of that.
    The whole "rating women 1-10" thing isn't new of course, but it's intrinsic to the general attitude to women enshrined in PUA culture.
    Just FYI everyone: being a PUA automatically makes you a 1 in our eyes.:cool:


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    #597
    Amirani
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,523 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    This is so sad: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/05/escape-from-taliban-author-shot-afghanistan

    Reading this made me extremely upset. I'd heard a lot about this movie and book that had been written by Sushmita Banerjee, she was obviously a really brave woman in writing such a book and just didn't deserve this.

    I was hoping things were beginning to slowly improve in the region, with more and more women becoming involved in writing and movie making that raised awareness about and criticised the situation they live in. This just ****s all that up. I really hate humanity sometimes. :(


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    #598
    Femme_Fatale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    Bastards. It's baffling that some would suggest it's their culture and we're in no position to judge...


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    #599
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,353 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Femme_Fatale wrote: »
    Bastards. It's baffling that some would suggest it's their culture and we're in no position to judge...

    Is there anyone who still says that? I think anyone who has any semblence of sympathy for these guys lost it after Malala Yousafzai.


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    #600
    Femme_Fatale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Is there anyone who still says that? I think anyone who has any semblence of sympathy for these guys lost it after Malala Yousafzai.
    Yes there are. It's not so much having sympathy for the Taliban, but the notion that we in the West shouldn't be commenting/sticking our noses in seeing as "we're" not so perfect ourselves.


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    #601
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,353 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Kind of going off topic here but I think the solution to these guys needs to be found within Islam. There needs to be a moderating force similar to the one that moved Christianity from the Spanish Inquisition to the church of today. I am not sure what the west can do about this other than put pressure on the Islamic nations that are receptive to reason. Commenting is fine and I do think we can afford to be more intolerant of some of the elements becoming more common in our own countries (the French ban on the burka being one example) but to literally stick our nose in in a physical sense will only make things worse as has been seen from the Iraq and Afghan disasters leading to the growth of more militant factions.


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