DEPRESSION SUPPORT- Anonymous posting is possible, see note in post #1.

armin van burren

biddy2013 wrote: »

It's very hard to talk to other farmers when everything seems to be going great for them and you're going in the opposite direction. Actually makes you feel worse

It seems like that at times alright ! But farmers always seem to hide their problems very weol to the outside world such as only looseig one calf out a hundred calveing and so on
My point is that all farmers around me seem to be doing better than I am and never seem to have personal problems
Far away hills are green at times but can be well fertilised with bull**** !
Truthfully I'm happy with my life and I wouldnt swap with anyman

Irishmale

I am not depressed. I don't feel depressed and I feel bad for those that are and hope they get well soon.
My issue is More that there are so any things to be done here but I just can't be bothered! I am as well off leaving them not done.

Some guys are so passionate about farming and I am a farmer too, a member of that community, reading the journo and working at it everyday and I don't have any of that passion.
What gets me down is the family part. To me family = trouble. I got picked to be the farmer with out being asked. After that it was work and work and worry about the farm and all that seemed to happen was making himself a nice nest to retire in. Brother and sister went to college and have multiple qualification in all sorts.
The bro will prob get half the place too and it's barely fit to keep one house going! He loves the horses same as the old man. I don't feel entitled to the farm as I know that pisses people off but I don't feel I should be duped either.
Oh well.
Thing with farmers is it's knocked into you from an early age as it's a family business that it's nearly impossible to walk away from it later on. The scientologists could learn a lot from Irish farmers! At my age all I could hope for is labouring so there is not much point in leaving now.
I also dislike my parents. Yet am stuck with them as they come with the farm as much as a hay barn and the slatted shed. And before the cries of you will miss them when they are gone start I just won't. I don't write this lightly and it's taken years to write it.

It's a disjointed post probably because it's disjointed in my head too. But it does make me feel better to write it down and share with folks and read other peoples stories!

exercise is the antidote

I have often wondered if the farmers journel and the indo spoke more about mental health and had columns with interviews with farmers talking about mental health and there issues with it...would other farmers be more inclined to speak out about there troubles more?

Maybe even a picture of the person interviewed! To show that he/she isn't ashamed! and that there is no need for anyone else to be....

It might not change the world.. But it might normalise it abit more...

Anyone else think this would be a good/bad idea?

delaval

This has to be one of the best threads on Boards t the moment. I find it to be really revealing, shocking and at times sad. If it has done nothing eles i hs me lokking out for a few I know more carefully

Do people think that depression is more ccommon among farmers than any other occupation? During the IFA election caampaign I met people living in awful circumstances and with some the lonliness couldn't be conceled.

visatorro

Anyone can get depressed. I know people that lived in London and also felt isolated.

Base price

delaval wrote: »

This has to be one of the best threads on Boards t the moment. I find it to be really revealing, shocking and at times sad. If it has done nothing eles i hs me lokking out for a few I know more carefully

Do people think that depression is more ccommon among farmers than any other occupation? During the IFA election caampaign I met people living in awful circumstances and with some the lonliness couldn't be conceled.

Personally I believe that unless you are located within the surroundings of a thriving busy town/city, it is more difficult to find appropriate services in more rural areas unless you are prepared to travel a distance, due to the fact that if you live in a particular area you may not want to visit the local doctor, health centre etc in case some of your neighbours/family members see you or worst meet you in the waiting room. That I believe puts a lot of people from seeking help and advise.
Regarding farmers (particularly) living in lonely circumstances, I believe that the onus is on us, extended family members, local neighbours, younger generation to keep in contact, keep an eye out for them, call into them for a chat. As a childer some of the best stories I hear were from visiting auld ones and fellas with my siblings and uncle.
We Irish have always been know for our community responsibility (well it was in my day) - hopefully the Celtic Tiger didn't exterminate everything in its path during its demise.

Base price

exercise is the antidote wrote: »

I have often wondered if the farmers journel and the indo spoke more about mental health and had columns with interviews with farmers talking about mental health and there issues with it...would other farmers be more inclined to speak out about there troubles more?

Maybe even a picture of the person interviewed! To show that he/she isn't ashamed! and that there is no need for anyone else to be....

It might not change the world.. But it might normalise it abit more...

Anyone else think this would be a good/bad idea?

To be honest I don't think a photo or identifying a individual by name would work as I think it would be too much of a step - "a cow named daisy" said it all about the stigma associated with depression within rural Ireland.
However I do think that the IFJ could do a lot more. I have read many interesting articles regarding arthritis, heart disease, cancer etc, etc. Maybe they could run a series of articles about depression. In fairness to Joe Duffy on RTE 1, his show has made inroads for voicing the plight of single men and women in rural Ireland.

As an aside, when I eventually accepted that I required the help of counselling - I travelled over 15 miles to avail of the service as I did not want any family, friends or neighbours to see me. The stigma was the monkey on my back.

Mo60

visatorro wrote: »

Anyone can get depressed. I know people that lived in London and also felt isolated.

Having lived in London most of my life I fully agree with you.

But since moving back here, I find that in rural areas life is very much family orientated. If you fall out with family members people take sides and you can be ignored and left isolated, which in turn can lead to depression.

case 956

depression is something 90% of people suffer from, I myself suffered and I only 23, I found it hard to cope with taking over the family farm and working as well and let it all build up, I hid it from my girlfriend, my parents my neighbours my friends, no one knew what was going on, they just saw affront I put on til my gp recognised it nd offered me counselling, I went to it and recently only finished up at it and found it great and relaxing, I thouoghly enjoyed the counselling service. I thin people should speak out as there no shame I it and I for one put a status on facebook speaking of my suffering and the support I received was amazing and people hadn't a clue what I was going through I shocked a lot of people after speaking out

A cow called Daisy

Base price wrote: »

To be honest I don't think a photo or identifying a individual by name would work as I think it would be too much of a step - "a cow named daisy" said it all about the stigma associated with depression within rural Ireland.
However I do think that the IFJ could do a lot more. I have read many interesting articles regarding arthritis, heart disease, cancer etc, etc. Maybe they could run a series of articles about depression. In fairness to Joe Duffy on RTE 1, his show has made inroads for voicing the plight of single men and women in rural Ireland.

As an aside, when I eventually accepted that I required the help of counselling - I travelled over 15 miles to avail of the service as I did not want any family, friends or neighbours to see me. The stigma was the monkey on my back.

Agree with you there base price. And going as public as being featured on the Journal may also mean that people that have moved away from their home area would also see it. The stigma it the big thing as i said. If someone had a different illness they might find it more 'acceptable' (Sorry for choice of words, but i getting it hard to express myself properly)
The whole thing has a big effect on my self esteem which for me leads to me losing interest in the farm in every way.
The reason i say this is that sometimes you hear people saying - "i hear x is depressed (often using different words). Sure what has that lad to be depressed about, a good kick in the a**e is all he wants". These people don't have a clue what is going on in someone else head. Shouldn't do, but it makes me feel worse, as if it all my fault. Hope this makes sense to someone and sorry if it doesn't

bob charles

A cow called Daisy wrote: »

Agree with you there base price. And going as public as being featured on the Journal may also mean that people that have moved away from their home area would also see it. The stigma it the big thing as i said. If someone had a different illness they might find it more 'acceptable' (Sorry for choice of words, but i getting it hard to express myself properly)
The whole thing has a big effect on my self esteem which for me leads to me losing interest in the farm in every way.
The reason i say this is that sometimes you hear people saying - "i hear x is depressed (often using different words). Sure what has that lad to be depressed about, a good kick in the a**e is all he wants". These people don't have a clue what is going on in someone else head. Shouldn't do, but it makes me feel worse, as if it all my fault. Hope this makes sense to someone and sorry if it doesn't

I dont think there is as big a stigma as people make out. its a problem someone has, get help and try and put the situation right. I assume that what most normal people would think.

Maybe its just me, but there seems to be a good few *celebrities* that are saying they are suffering from depression but when you read there stories they are not IMV and they are using the illness as a cheap angle for publicity. Maybe im totally wrong as I think I have never suffered depression so maybe I dont understand. I have felt ****e for long periods but I have being always being able to get myself up and going again when needed.

keep going

One thing id like to highlight here,, this thread is written by farmers up and down the country and everyone is showing compassion and speaking in a considered manner which shows attitudes are changing to depression. only last night I spoke to a relation about their bout with depression and she told me about what it took and what helped but the first step has to be to accept that you are suffering from it and need help

whitebriar

What's the worst that can happen?
Do ya know what,most things except end of life illnesses are solvable.
Farming is an isolated life.Most of us are good liars,whether it be a fib about that really good test we got being the norm or the good humour we always seem to be in.
Start at 7,finish at 6 religiously, with few exceptions, it can wait.
Love other people, make good friends,take time out with them,use them,let them use you.
Put on some of your favorite music.Get a kindle and read books that excite you such that you can't put them down.
Use Cher's Nan's motto "If it doesn't matter in 5 years time,it doesn't matter now!!"
Put yourself in a good place,grab the administration problems(and that's all they are) that have your finances in disarray and solve them or delegate a good accountant and teagasc advisor to do it for you confidentially,be open with them.
Above all be happy. You control that,it ain't easy to steer the ship but you can!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o0ExGXfs2o&feature=youtube_gdata_player

biddy2013

whitebriar wrote: »

What's the worst that can happen?
Do ya know what,most things except end of life illnesses are solvable.
Farming is an isolated life.Most of us are good liars,whether it be a fib about that really good test we got being the norm or the good humour we always seem to be in.
Start at 7,finish at 6 religiously, with few exceptions, it can wait.
Love other people, make good friends,take time out with them,use them,let them use you.
Put on some of your favorite music.Get a kindle and read books that excite you such that you can't put them down.
Use Cher's Nan's motto "If it doesn't matter in 5 years time,it doesn't matter now!!"
Put yourself in a good place,grab the administration problems(and that's all they are) that have your finances in disarray and solve them or delegate a good accountant and teagasc advisor to do it for you confidentially,be open with them.
Above all be happy. You control that,it ain't easy to steer the ship but you can!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o0ExGXfs2o&feature=youtube_gdata_player

theres alot in that and you need to be in the right place to do it. If people are annoying you getting you down its alot easier said than done to just walk away. Yes addressing the problem whether its financial, personal or business is 100% of the battle. Sometimes i wish there was an ignore button like on here for some people in real life

dzer2

biddy2013 wrote: »

theres alot in that and you need to be in the right place to do it. If people are annoying you getting you down its alot easier said than done to just walk away. Yes addressing the problem whether its financial, personal or business is 100% of the battle. Sometimes i wish there was an ignore button like on here for some people in real life

There is Biddy even in your own family just dont respond to them. I ignore lots of the people around me and just concentrate on getting my stuff done. Down to getting feedstuff delivered from miles away rather than go to the store 2 miles away as I cant stand the B*ll*x thats managing it.

whitebriar

dzer2 wrote: »

There is Biddy even in your own family just dont respond to them. I ignore lots of the people around me and just concentrate on getting my stuff done. Down to getting feedstuff delivered from miles away rather than go to the store 2 miles away as I cant stand the B*ll*x thats managing it.

Yup, @biddy why the fuk do you have people that annoy you in your life? Dump them if they are not family If they are just talk as little as possible to them.
If you owe them,write to them instructing all contact to be via your accountant as per a payment plan.
Rid Rid Rid yourself of all the Shiite.
Pardon my French.

exercise is the antidote

dzer2 wrote: »

There is Biddy even in your own family just dont respond to them. I ignore lots of the people around me and just concentrate on getting my stuff done. Down to getting feedstuff delivered from miles away rather than go to the store 2 miles away as I cant stand the B*ll*x thats managing it.

I can't stand DRAMA and I avoid all people who seem to be addicted to it, it is more so in my family too. 2 people on particular, they would belittle you but do it in a very subtle way.
It's just to cover up there own insecurities(which is wrong) because they are trying to bring everyone else down with them.

There is noting I would like more than too tell them how I feel about them, but for my mothers sake, I'll keep quite.
One of them persists on being the centre of attention and always goes out with guys my mother doesn't approve of(scumbags basically) but she won't say anything to her...
I have stuck up for her many times and have been in arguments and physical fights for doing so, as you do for your sister.
But it is 1 drama after another with her and I am fed up at this stage(she is now with a fella that spent time in the joy)...
I ignore her now because it makes my life alot easier, weather that's wrong or not I don't know, but she will be cleaning up her own mess next time...

exercise is the antidote

exercise is the antidote wrote: »

I can't stand DRAMA and I avoid all people who seem to be addicted to it, it is more so in my family too. 2 people on particular, they would belittle you but do it in a very subtle way.
It's just to cover up there own insecurities(which is wrong) because they are trying to bring everyone else down with them.

There is noting I would like more than too tell them how I feel about them, but for my mothers sake, I'll keep quite.
One of them persists on being the centre of attention and always goes out with guys my mother doesn't approve of(scumbags basically) but she won't say anything to her...
I have stuck up for her many times and have been in arguments and physical fights for doing so, as you do for your sister.
But it is 1 drama after another with her and I am fed up at this stage(she is now with a fella that spent time in the joy)...
I ignore her now because it makes my life alot easier, weather that's wrong or not I don't know, but she will be cleaning up her own mess next time...

Sorry that's not really related to the thread...

exercise is the antidote

case 956 wrote: »

depression is something 90% of people suffer from, I myself suffered and I only 23, I found it hard to cope with taking over the family farm and working as well and let it all build up, I hid it from my girlfriend, my parents my neighbours my friends, no one knew what was going on, they just saw affront I put on til my gp recognised it nd offered me counselling, I went to it and recently only finished up at it and found it great and relaxing, I thouoghly enjoyed the counselling service. I thin people should speak out as there no shame I it and I for one put a status on facebook speaking of my suffering and the support I received was amazing and people hadn't a clue what I was going through I shocked a lot of people after speaking out

Your dead right there is shame in it!!
Fair play too you for outing on Facebook, that would take a lot of balls to do that...

visatorro

exercise is the antidote wrote: »

Sorry that's not really related to the thread...

That's abit harsh. That lad is after reading a few people getting something off their chests so if someone wants to disclose something or vent then what harm

visatorro

Sorry didn't realise you posted twice!

Reggie.

biddy2013 wrote: »

theres alot in that and you need to be in the right place to do it. If people are annoying you getting you down its alot easier said than done to just walk away. Yes addressing the problem whether its financial, personal or business is 100% of the battle. Sometimes i wish there was an ignore button like on here for some people in real life

True enough but not that easy to turn away family either.

Reggie.

What did people think of the little booklet that was in the journal this week about health and stress on the farm. About time I thought and I had some craic making the FIL do the questionnaires on health and fitness.

colrow

i thought that it was good, but wife who is a farmer, said it assumed all farmers were men, no mention of women. aaargh

She's in her 60's and suffers from terrible arthuritus in in knees and wrists from carrying hay bales all her life.

I've suffered from depression as I became an alcoholic, and that brought plenty of misfortunes my way, and I drank even more to keep the misery at bay, 3 suicide attempts. I eventually couldn't carry on any more, and stopped drinking boxing day 1984, it took me a year and a hlf without alcohol to adjust back to reality. But the depression went as it was caused by drinking.

Roll onto 2005 when we moved here from the uk, and for some reason I decided it was ok to drink again, it took 3 months to go from 1 bottle of beer a day to two bottles of spirits, and I was on my knees again terible depressions and suicidal thoughts, crazy thinking driving my oh mad etc etc.

I went back to AA on Jan 12th 2006 and haven't had a drink since, but I still had terrible depression so I was on medication for that, I had blood tests and it turned out I had diabetes type 2, diabetes type 2 and depression are connected in some way. I weaned myself off the medication after a year or so. But the depression returned pretty quickly so I've been on a low maintenance dose since then.

AA has given me my life back a nd it has a nice prayer I use on lots of occaisons:-

God Grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Good luck to you all

A cow called Daisy

colrow wrote: »

i thought that it was good, but wife who is a farmer, said it assumed all farmers were men, no mention of women. aaargh

She's in her 60's and suffers from terrible arthuritus in in knees and wrists from carrying hay bales all her life.

I've suffered from depression as I became an alcoholic, and that brought plenty of misfortunes my way, and I drank even more to keep the misery at bay, 3 suicide attempts. I eventually couldn't carry on any more, and stopped drinking boxing day 1984, it took me a year and a hlf without alcohol to adjust back to reality. But the depression went as it was caused by drinking.

Roll onto 2005 when we moved here from the uk, and for some reason I decided it was ok to drink again, it took 3 months to go from 1 bottle of beer a day to two bottles of spirits, and I was on my knees again terible depressions and suicidal thoughts, crazy thinking driving my oh mad etc etc.

I went back to AA on Jan 12th 2006 and haven't had a drink since, but I still had terrible depression so I was on medication for that, I had blood tests and it turned out I had diabetes type 2, diabetes type 2 and depression are connected in some way. I weaned myself off the medication after a year or so. But the depression returned pretty quickly so I've been on a low maintenance dose since then.

AA has given me my life back a nd it has a nice prayer I use on lots of occaisons:-

God Grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Good luck to you all

Fair play to you colrow, keep up the good work. There several out there could learn a lot from you.

colrow

Thanks Daisy, and everyone else.

I've had to learn from experience, there is no instant fix for anything, though we'd all like one !

Live for Today is a good aa moto,

Yesterdays History
Tomorrows a Mystery

biddy2013

isnt it amazing what a good nights sleep can do, went to bed at half 8 last night was totally wrecked physically and mentally and this morning , no aches and fresh as a daisy:D

colrow

I love it when there are new fresh sheets on the bed .

A cow called Daisy

[QUOTE:D=biddy2013;88699068]isnt it amazing what a good nights sleep can do, went to bed at half 8 last night was totally wreck:Ded physically and mentally and this morning , no aches and fresh as a daisy:D[/QUOTE]

Biddy, as fresh as a daisy or as fresh as a cow called daisy?:D
Seriously though, doesn't usually work for me. Or should i wake up as fresh as Biddy:D

Reggie.

A cow called Daisy wrote: »

[QUOTE:D=biddy2013;88699068]isnt it amazing what a good nights sleep can do, went to bed at half 8 last night was totally wreck:Ded physically and mentally and this morning , no aches and fresh as a daisy:D

Biddy, as fresh as a daisy or as fresh as a cow called daisy?:D
Seriously though, doesn't usually work for me. Or should i wake up as fresh as Biddy:D[/QUOTE]

She was too frisky today and fell into a bunch of bales sure