'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

jill_valentine

chughes wrote: »

Definitely said by Churchill. He said it to Lady Astor.

During another argument between them she told him that if she was his wife she'd poison his coffee. He replied that if he was her husband he'd drink it.

Churchill and Lady Astor seem to have had the kind of epic verbal exchanges that betray all kinds of crazy sexy hatesex.

alphabeat

She was so ugly , her lipstick would back itself into the tube

dodderangler

I wouldn't ride her with your flute

Jammy Donut

I'm so hungry I could eat a buttered baby.

He's so horny, he'd roide the crack of dawn.

Lionel Messy

She'd put nutella on your tongue.

ziggy23

Said about someone who is cock-eyed...one eye is lookin at you other eye is looking for you

The head on him and the price of turnips

said by my dad if you can't decide on something ''You don't know if you want a sh1te or a haircut'

kfallon

He was as excited as a poof with a bag of dicks!

He was as excited as a blind poof in a sausage factory

tan11ie

The hack of ya! Dora wouldn't even explore ya!

BigFatGiant

I'm sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop.

uch

She has a face like a Welders Bench

CiaranMcDCFC

She has two blue eyes, one blew east and one blew west!

omck80

Yo' momma so fat when she went to the beach the whales started to sing " we are family"

Sykk

Some of the stuff in here is so bad it made me cringe.. :pac:

SpiceWeasel

About a soccer player, the only thing he shares with Pele is erection problems

Flaker

About an ugly bird -"sure you don't have to look at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fire"

About a fella who'd ride anything - "He'd get up on a crack in a plate" or "He'd get up on the crack of dawn"

ciarang85

she's been cocked more time's that john wayne's rifle

kieranfitz

She wasn't beaten with the ugly stick, she was gang raped by the ugly forest.

tightropetom

I'd give her 10 miles in six inch stages

(not an insult but a handy phrase)

thelagg2000

she had a fanny like a wizards sleeve

kfallon

SpiceWeasel wrote: »

About a soccer player, the only thing he shares with Pele is erection problems

About a hurler:

Jaysus George Michael couldn't have pulled any harder!!!

Eggy Baby!

Looks like you ran face first into the ugly wall

ciarang85

she has a head on her like a bucket of smashed crabs

admiralofthefleet

said of a fat lass wearing clothes too small for her: 'she looks like ten pound of shite in a five pound bag'

or

she looks like a burst sausage

Oscar Bravo

If ya rode her itd feel like a nest of swallows leaving ur hole!!

Oscar Bravo

The arse on that one,its like the back of a bus going up O Connell Street!!

Oscar Bravo

Yer one over there bent over,i though i saw the Canaries!!

Pure Sound

If that lad was any more inbred he'd be a sandwich

Nippledragon

Apologies if there are any repeats:

She had a face only her mother could love

she had a face like a bag of cats

she had face that would sour milk

I'd rather stick me flute into a beehive that give her wan

he was like a wheelchair with pedals - good for nothing

sweating like a priest in a primary school

Would ya suck a fart outta her arshe?

She must have fallen outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down and landed in a hive of ugly bees

She had a face like a welders bench

She had a face like a blind cobbler's thumb

She had a face like a dogs dinner

chelseaaremagic

he would get up on the crack of a whip
his next ride will be his first

Daveysil15

She's got more wrinkles than an elephants scrotum.

She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs.

She's seen more ceilings than Michelangelo.

I've seen better teeth on a worn out gear box.