'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

Shryke

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

you would know shes from a shīt family just by seeing her cheap clothes and phone !!

she has no mates to go out with let alone any lad who would ride her


she is going to be as poor as her ma and she drives a 98 micra

That's just depressing? You're a bit wide of the mark.

ball

Ah she's a babe...

Have you seen that movie?

BIG BAD JOHN

He has no tact. If he met a cripple, he'd talk about feet.

Daveysil15

She's like a brillo pad! She'd shift anything.

mattjack

She's built for comfort,not speed and provides warmth in the Winter and shade in the Summer.

Cantona's Collars

She has a face like a bag of melted Lego.

mikemac1

She was so ugly as a new-born the nurse sent away the doctor and called for the vet

xii

I've seen better legs on teletext

Bobby Baccala

Your face looks like a forest fire that somebody tried to put out with a screwdriver.

Cork24

Your Topic Heading just took mine "I wouldnt Ride her into battle"

sparks24

seen better legs in a snack box

marwelie

hes about as useful as a solar powered torch.

which bit of no do you not understand.

the tide wouldnt take her out

Wibbs

Seen better legs on an oil rig.

markfla

you're as thick as a double ditch
he's tighter than two coats of paint
as useless as tits on a bull

cocoshovel

Whats with us Irish and similes?

kfallon

Her gee was as tight as a miser's fist

monkey tree

He looks like the tongs for the fireplace; long legs, crooked thighs, a small head and no eyes.

He has a face on him that would turn milk sour.

ziggy23

She has a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

She's had more pricks than a second-hand dartboard

I seen a better head on a lump hammer

you model? For Pedigree Chum is it?

He's as tight as a frog's arse

He's so tight when he opens his wallet moths fly out

He has a head like a half-chewed chip

Even Cillit wouldn't bang ya!!

Oh and the best...He has a dick like a cocktail sausage

wmpdd3

She's so tight, a tractor couldn't pull a sewing needle out of her arse.

plasteritup

shes a fanny like a wizards sleeve

im sweating like a paedophile in a barney suit.

newport2

She's a nose like a hatchet

She's as tight as a camel's arse in a sandstorm

Randy Anders

He's as useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest

Smidge

I've seen a better head on a boil.

dodderangler

Shes a face like a bag of spanners

Her Teeth are so big she could eat an apple out of letter box

She's bout as good looking as a bulldog chewing a wasp

Her gee was like a clowns pocket

Can't think of anymore now

garv123

The best part of you ran down your mothers thigh.

delw

A face like a pitbull chewing a wasp

longshanks

She has a smile like a torn hole.

And a face like a ripped arse.


Ripped and torn are interchangable

captainjack

Face like it was set on fire and put out with a shovel.

emzolita

You've a face like a jigsaw... In bits!

Conor_M1990

Shes seen more Japs eyes then a Tokyo Opitican