Deal Breaker in a Relationship

Snowie

Honestly negativity, I do like a woman with a good sense of style

I really try not to get bogged down in the deal breakers, If you start piling them on they never end....

Rossin

Rossin wrote: »

ambition doesnt bother me either way, some people are just happy and content with what they have and there's nothing wrong with that imo as long as theyre happy

TBH I'd be happy enough in a menial job while following my passions and interests outside of the 35 hours a week I spent doing that ****ty job. I could do a job I enjoyed and make no money or do a crap job and have loads of spare time for whatever I and my significant other (:P) wanted to do. Or I could cover the bills and still have a ****load of free time that could be split however made sense at the the time.

Chazz Michael Michaels

A nice bum.

mood

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

A nice bum.

A nice bum is a deal breaker

Chazz Michael Michaels

mood wrote: »

A nice bum is a deal breaker

HA! Sorry, a lack of a nice bum.

mood

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

HA! Sorry, a lack of a nice bum.

And what happens if you meet someone who has a nice bum but 2 or 3 years later isn't not so nice?

Chazz Michael Michaels

mood wrote: »

And what happens if you meet someone who has a nice bum but 2 or 3 years later isn't not so nice?

In the end, we are all going to be wrinkled.

Mickey Dazzler

A friend of mine went out with a "girl" for awhile and then went down on her one night only to find a penis in his face. Only in Bangkok!!

A penis in the face would be a deal breaker for me.

mood

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

A friend of mine went out with a "girl" for awhile and then went down on her one night only to find a penis in his face. Only in Bangkok!!

A penis in the face would be a deal breaker for me.

That's a movie called 'The Crying Game'.

lorrieq

A little off topic. I'd like to hear from someone (not loads of people) who shares this view, preferably a female if theres one here :P A lot of people seem to be bothered by elitism I've been reading. I can't really understand. My sport is my passion, I love doing it. And being better at it means I can travel more and have some great times. I devote a lot of time to it. I don't think less of people who aren't elite, in fact I hugely respect these people for getting up and out if that's what they want. Would this be a turnoff??

mood

lorrieq wrote: »

A little off topic. I'd like to hear from someone (not loads of people) who shares this view, preferably a female if theres one here :P A lot of people seem to be bothered by elitism I've been reading. I can't really understand. My sport is my passion, I love doing it. And being better at it means I can travel more and have some great times. I devote a lot of time to it. I don't think less of people who aren't elite, in fact I hugely respect these people for getting up and out if that's what they want. Would this be a turnoff??

Someone who would consider themselves and describe them self as elite would TOTALLY put me off. Just because you are good at particular thing does not mean you are better than or above other people. The shear arrogance is enough to make me feel sick.

Also someone who spends all their time on a hobby would not be for me. Not being able to spend time with a boyfriend would definitely effect the relationship. Also if the relation were to get very serious and you had kids I wouldn't be happy to basically raise the kids on my own while my husband swanned off spend all his time and money on his hobby.

Rossin

calling yourself elite would be my only problem!

larrymickdick

lorrieq wrote: »

A little off topic. I'd like to hear from someone (not loads of people) who shares this view, preferably a female if theres one here :P A lot of people seem to be bothered by elitism I've been reading. I can't really understand. My sport is my passion, I love doing it. And being better at it means I can travel more and have some great times. I devote a lot of time to it. I don't think less of people who aren't elite, in fact I hugely respect these people for getting up and out if that's what they want. Would this be a turnoff??

I think it's great that you have a passion for sport but would you want to be with someone who has no interest in sport whatsoever? I'm not saying that you have to have everything in common with your partner but at least you want them to get that side of you.

My boyfriend is not interested in sport - he watches motor gp and boxing sometimes - he's interested in huge historical sporting events just like anyone else would be but not watching the footie every day etc. I don't think I could handle going out with someone who would center so much of their time around sport when I personally am not interested in it. Don't get me wrong I have played a lot of sports myself but don't want to sit watching it.

On the other hand he is a musician and spends a lot of time playing guitar but that's part of him and one of the reasons why I love him. I guess if I was genuinely in love with someone and that was their interest I would make the effort to be part of it and support the person I was with. What you do is not who you are. I believe you are in love with a person not their hobbies/profession. If it was interfering with having a healthy relationship though I guess it would be a deal breaker.

I hope that makes sense. (even though my username is male I'm all woman haha)

ChunkyLover54

Bad breath

jimbobaloobob

ChunkyLover54 wrote: »

Bad breath

bring a tic tac

MaroonAndGreen

If I am not 100% comfortable with my GF, then its a deal breaker..

Have to be trustworthy, and willing to stick through problems in the relationship and try our best to work them out. In other words, 100% committment is needed

Woodward

I've come to the realization today that many of the attributes that would be deal breakers in a girl I just met are attributes that my current girlfriend has that werent really apparent for the first few years. I feel very uneaesy

Rossin

if you got through a few years without realising such they're hardly deal breakers! sounds like you want out anyway

maddragon

leggo wrote: »

Have plenty when I'm in a relationship with someone, but none beforehand really (except don't be an uggo ).

I think if you go into a relationship with a list of things you won't accept, regardless of who the person is, you're closing off a lot of doors that could benefit you in ways you'll never know. Often some of the best relationships I've had have been with people completely different to me.

I agree. A relationship with yourself gets predictable.

Woodward

Rossin wrote: »

if you got through a few years without realising such they're hardly deal breakers! sounds like you want out anyway

Life changes though. We were young when we started going out and her lack of motivation and other things didnt really matter. Now that we are serious I cant see her ever getting a decent job and I dont want a gf who will mooch off me for the rest of my life

Erper

Woodward wrote: »

Life changes though. We were young when we started going out and her lack of motivation and other things didnt really matter. Now that we are serious I cant see her ever getting a decent job and I dont want a gf who will mooch off me for the rest of my life

that you know what you have to do:

simple question for her - does she plan to live like that forever
and
where does this go

Jerrica

lorrieq wrote: »

A little off topic. I'd like to hear from someone (not loads of people) who shares this view, preferably a female if theres one here :P A lot of people seem to be bothered by elitism I've been reading. I can't really understand. My sport is my passion, I love doing it. And being better at it means I can travel more and have some great times. I devote a lot of time to it. I don't think less of people who aren't elite, in fact I hugely respect these people for getting up and out if that's what they want. Would this be a turnoff??

Be proud of what you do. Having the skills and confidence to call yourself elite is something that not a lot of people will 'get', but you know in your heart how many hours you've put in to get there, how many nights out you've sacrificed, how many mornings you've got up to train before most people are awake. It's one thing to call yourself elite (as you should if you've earned it), it's another to brag about it incessantly. There's an obvious difference between the two!

Your partner doesn't necessarily need to be an elite athlete too, but as long as they 'get it' it'll be fine. I used to be very involved in my sport and competed internationally - at one stage I was only dating guys who were within that same circle and frame of mind, but it generally didn't work because it became competitive between us. My partner now is in no way sporty but respects and admires what I do, so he may not 'get' the sport but he gives me the freedom to do what I do as he knows I'll always be glad and excited to come home to him

Rossin

how many hours a day does an "elite" athlete train?

Woodward

Erper wrote: »

that you know what you have to do:

simple question for her - does she plan to live like that forever
and
where does this go

I've asked her that and she doesnt know. She's not finished college yet but her degree isnt exactly in high demand. She has said that there is a chance that she could end up working in Dunnes for the rest of her life. I cant say it is what I imagined my life partner to be but it could turn out differently

listermint

Woodward wrote: »

I've asked her that and she doesnt know. She's not finished college yet but her degree isnt exactly in high demand. She has said that there is a chance that she could end up working in Dunnes for the rest of her life. I cant say it is what I imagined my life partner to be but it could turn out differently

Wait, she hasnt finished college yet and you are consigning her to the rubbish tip of failure ?

Woodward

listermint wrote: »

Wait, she hasnt finished college yet and you are consigning her to the rubbish tip of failure ?

I have but she has never even sent t a CV and she's 21. She has no motivation to work and she has no interest in growing up

username123

Woodward wrote: »

I have but she has never even sent t a CV and she's 21. She has no motivation to work and she has no interest in growing up

Why would she be sending CVs is she is a full time student? Why would you go out with someone that you speak of in such negative terms?

Erper

Woodward wrote: »

I've asked her that and she doesnt know. She's not finished college yet but her degree isnt exactly in high demand. She has said that there is a chance that she could end up working in Dunnes for the rest of her life. I cant say it is what I imagined my life partner to be but it could turn out differently

maybe ive missed a post but how old are you...
if she is 21 i dont think that she might have clear picture where she will end up...
maybe if she is working in dunnes now, in 3-4 years time she might change her opinion and work something else, you never know..
if you like the girl that you will support her in everything she does in normal limits...
if she is full time studend and working part time, that wont be like forever...
its only temporary and considering todays situation the best thing is to keep something you working on now...

Woodward

Erper wrote: »

maybe ive missed a post but how old are you...
if she is 21 i dont think that she might have clear picture where she will end up...
maybe if she is working in dunnes now, in 3-4 years time she might change her opinion and work something else, you never know..
if you like the girl that you will support her in everything she does in normal limits...
if she is full time studend and working part time, that wont be like forever...
its only temporary and considering todays situation the best thing is to keep something you working on now...

She doesnt work in Dunnes. She has never had a job, she has never applied for a job. She only recently has written a CV which was only because I did most of it. She has no motivation to work or be successful, that it what bothers me. I am quite driven and I have no problem supporting a partner who earns less than me seeing as I will likely have a high paying job when I finish my postgrad but her lack of drive to succeed in life really bothers me. She would be content to stay in her room all day browsing the internet and she is not depressed

foxinsox

Being 21 and not ever had a job would worry me...

I'm not near that age now, so my deal breakers are very different.

If I met someone in their forties who has never worked, I would run away very fast.