Why do you want to be thinner?

Princess Peach

One thing we discussed a good deal in my counselling is what complimenting someone's weight can mean, and its not always a good thing. The person giving the compliment really has no idea what is going on in the other person's mind. Not saying this is always the case, but for women with weight issues a compliment can be turned into something destructive, and there's no way of knowing this from the giver.

When I did my group counselling it really surprised me how many of us could link the start of our problems back to this. I know for me I lost a lot of weight without trying, while I was away travelling, I didn't even notice until this wave of compliments came in, everyone telling me how great I looked. But how that affected me was it really just made me focus on the idea that I must have looked awful before, and I couldn't go back to that. It happened not soon after this I was sick from medication and lost even more weight, and again people said I never looked better, even though I was really sick. This was a similar case with a few girls in my support group.

Then to maintain this weight I took extreme measures, and people kept on at how great I looked. The worst was when they would say they envied me, how did I do it? Couldn't really tell them the truth!

Another point is when people talk about someone who has gained weight. I doubt there's a woman here who has never been in a group of girls gossiping about someone who "let themselves go". The fact is you can never really know why they have. I have gained a lot of weigh in the last year, but for me it was actually trying to get healthy! And one thing that sticks in my mind always is if people were so fast to notice me losing weight, I am sure they have noticed I gained weight. And I hate wondering what they think of me.

I've learned never to compliment someone's weight loss. I know it seems like a lovely thing to do, and that rarely does it come with any ill intent and that it doesn't affect everyone in a bad way. But it does reinforce this idea that appearance and weight are so important. And someone can lose weight and look great and be healthy, but want to do that little bit more so people will notice again and make them feel good. I know it seems like an obvious thing to say when someone is putting in a great effort to lose weight, but focusing on it is not always good.

I remember now what my counsellor said! She said what we should say is "I notice you have lost weight, how do you feel about it?"

Fizzlesque

Princess Peach wrote: »

One thing we discussed a good deal in my counselling is what complimenting someone's weight can mean, and its not always a good thing. The person giving the compliment really has no idea what is going on in the other person's mind. Not saying this is always the case, but for women with weight issues a compliment can be turned into something destructive, and there's no way of knowing this from the giver.

Good post, Princess Peach, thanks. A good friend of mine gained a lot of weight in her twenties - and remained very large for a long time. About two years ago she started a weight loss programme and very slowly began to lose weight. I noticed she would get very uncomfortable and tried to change the conversation/topic whenever someone complimented her on her weight loss, so I certainly never brought it up in conversation. She opened up a bit one evening and said straight out she didn't like it mentioned and that when you've been as big as she is, for as long as she was, you still see yourself as the big girl, and feel you've further to go.

Another interesting thing though, it turns out a lot of her friends (me included) had stopped seeing her as big. She was just her lovely self. Sounds cheesy but it's true. One time she was supposed to meet someone to do with work, someone she'd never met before, and a friend was arranging it. The friend gave lots of descriptions but your man couldn't find/see/recognise her because the one description she left out was her size. When asked why (after it was all sorted and the meeting had happened) why she'd neglected to mention her size, she admitted she didn't even think of it, because she genuinely doesn't see it. For whatever reason, who knows.

Perceptions really don't follow the beat of one drum, that's for sure.

LollieB

Since I found this thread & decided to finally tackle my issues around my weight in therapy, a lot has changed and a lot of different things have been brought to my attention. I'm so glad this thread was here & I decided to post in it- it's definitely been the first big step up the staircase.

I've realised that I suffer from body dysmorphia. It feels so great to put a name on it but it is terrifying at the same time. Rationally I know that I am not obese, or even that overweight really, but in my mind I am a disgusting, hideously ugly, beastly, unfeminine woman who could never be considered attractive. I can find all sorts of evidence in my life to back up this image of myself but I know this is my warped way of thinking.

I thought for a long time I was going crazy because I barely recognise myself in photographs from what I see in the mirror. I don't know what the real me looks like. Even recent photos from a few months ago- I don't recognise the girl in the picture. Rationally I know it's me but I don't recognise her. It's such a scary feeling. I often think I belong in the mad house. I can feel very resentful when people compliment me- I feel like they are lying to me to make me feel better. I'm nearly grateful when I can find the insult in someone's words (I rationally know they haven't insulted me, I'm just twisting their words to suit my feelings) because I feel like they are honest with me. I've stopped trusting my friends and my family. I don't like to be touched anymore- cuddled, pat on the back- nothing. And a healthy, satisfying sex life is out of the question.

I realise that this distrust is me projecting the lack of trust I have with myself on others. My therapist says I talk about myself as if I'm a meth addict who's skin is rotting away & as if I am a 30stone woman. I am 5'10 and a size 16-18. I'm currently a 38GG and I have a comparatively small waist. I am at my heaviest at the moment. I feel like an oaf. I never want to be below a size 14, funnily enough. I'd love to be a healthy, curvy woman. But I am very aware that weight loss is not the answer. I need to tackle it from within which is frustrating. I'm very impatient.

I've only really begun my journey. I am more aware of my body and my body language now. I've joined a gym but I'm taking it slow & making it fun & healthy rather than punishing. These small steps have been good. I've never been so honest about myself as I have in this post. My next goal is to talk to some of my close friends & tell them all this. Some of them are living abroad so I'd email them but this scares the hell out of me as well. I don't even know how to begin! After that, I don't know what the next step is after that really but I'm just glad I've started tackling it.

beks101

Fizzlesque wrote: »

I noticed she would get very uncomfortable and tried to change the conversation/topic whenever someone complimented her on her weight loss

I remember when I was in the thick of my eating disorder, I felt like this too. And I got a lot of comments, because I basically looked like a different person. I don't even recognise myself from photos - I look like a far younger, far skinnier sister of myself.

I actually think the 'commentary' played an inherent role in my disorder, as it sort of formed the basis for how I viewed myself - I either validated or chastised myself accordingly.

If people said I looked great (and most people did in the beginning, either that or jealous stares from women) I subconsciously thought 'awesome, lets keep going with this'. If the comments stopped - which they did as I approached my pre-ED weight - it confirmed to me that I was a fat and worthless and people just weren't noticing me anymore. I was 'average', every anorexic's nightmare.

Also, when I think back to it - and bear with me on this one - the comments fuelled this sort of unsettling feeling that I was 'losing ownership' of my body. Sort of along the point that PrincessPeach made - it was like I could only look 'great!' and 'amazing!' and any other adjective people threw at me, if I shaped my life around the bid to stay skinny. Like I couldn't be 'beautiful' to men, 'enviable' to women, noticeable to anyone, unless I was exceptionally thin - being 'me' wasn't enough. I had no choice but to stay this way. The comments really added fire to what was already a pressure cooker in my head.

Just be careful with the comments if someone in your life has lost weight. If it's an acquaintance, I would go as far as to say don't comment. And just as importantly - don't stare. That person WILL notice. It's not your place anyway, even if it's blatantly obvious to all and sundry that this person is strictly dieting/exercising. Weight loss is hugely personal.

If it's a close friend or family member, spend some time with them. Don't probe, wait for the conversation to naturally occur. If it doesn't, suss out their mood, are they happy? Do they seem stressed, down, a bit insecure? THEN, a comment along the lines of what PrincessP suggested is appropriate.

But the direct 'you've lost so much weight, you look amazing!' and the 'you're so skinny! What's your secret?'s can be very damaging.

PrincessLola

When I lost weight at first I was quite unfair to people.

If someone mentioned it I would be embarrassed and insulted (because I felt like they were saying I was fat before)

But if they said nothing at all I got upset because I felt like no one noticed or cared.

Yep, they were damned if they do, damned if they don't.

Handsome Bob

PrincessLola wrote: »

When I lost weight at first I was quite unfair to people.

If someone mentioned it I would be embarrassed and insulted (because I felt like they were saying I was fat before)

But if they said nothing at all I got upset because I felt like no one noticed or cared.

Yep, they were damned if they do, damned if they don't.

I accepted that there was a problem so I didn't mind people passing compliments when I lost weight. It was that acceptance that actually helped me finally lose a couple of stone.

Lia_lia

beks101 wrote: »

Just be careful with the comments if someone in your life has lost weight. If it's an acquaintance, I would go as far as to say don't comment.

What. I always comment if someone has lost weight. Or if almost anything about their appearance has changed (for the better!).

It's seems like we have to watch what we say to everyone about anything these days, it's pretty sad.

Monife

Lia_lia wrote: »

What. I always comment if someone has lost weight. Or if almost anything about their appearance has changed (for the better!).

It's seems like we have to watch what we say to everyone about anything these days, it's pretty sad.

+1. I'd be very disheartened in my weight loss journey if no one commented on how well I was looking or that I had lost weight.

Fizzlesque

Lia_lia wrote: »

What. I always comment if someone has lost weight. Or if almost anything about their appearance has changed (for the better!).

It's seems like we have to watch what we say to everyone about anything these days, it's pretty sad.

Monife wrote: »

+1. I'd be very disheartened in my weight loss journey if no one commented on how well I was looking or that I had lost weight.

I don't think it's a black and white situation - I guess gauging the situation for each person separately is necessary. When I see my friend on a night out, I say something like "that skirt is gorgeous - you look great" (she always has lovely skirts, and I used say those words to her when she was still big, because she would look great and the skirt would be gorgeous) and sometimes she mentions the fact she's thrilled she can finally fit into it, or that she had to go shopping because none of her old clothes fit her now, and other times she'll just tell me where she got it or that it's old/new/her favourite etc. I let her steer the conversation; sometimes she's up for talking about it and other times she isn't.

One day I met another woman I know (an acquaintance, not a friend) who is very large and she talks about her plans to lose weight quite openly and freely (to me, anyway). She wanted to try the milkshake twice a day with no food diet (a lad in my office had done that diet and lost shedloads of weight) and asked about it a lot.

I met her one day and she looked exactly as she always did but she asked me out straight did I not notice anything about her :eek: I didn't....

Apparently she'd lost a stone on the milkshake diet. Even once she'd said it I couldn't see, and it was too late to say "yes, you look great". It was so uncomfortable, for me anyway - she seemed fine but I have no idea if she was fine or not.

My weight fluctuates so sometimes I'm slim enough and other times I head towards 'cuddly' [rarely skinny, but I have been a few times] and I love it when a bit of weight slips off and someone comments. Except my dad - he does a terrible line in "have you lost weight" comments - something about the way he words them and says them really irritates me. But that could be just because he's my dad and much as I love him, he really irritates me sometimes.

Know your audience, that's what it boils down to for me. After reading some of the stories on this thread, I know I'm gonna take more care about what I say to whom on this subject. Not that I didn't before, I did, but with a bit more of an understanding, I suppose.

Princess Peach

Lia_lia wrote: »

What. I always comment if someone has lost weight. Or if almost anything about their appearance has changed (for the better!).

It's seems like we have to watch what we say to everyone about anything these days, it's pretty sad.

It's just re-enforcing this idea that weight is so important, the first thing you notice. You should just say "You look really nice today." If they have new clothes because of their weight loss, comment on that. Maybe the seem healthier, so tell them they look really happy lately. Don't make it all about the weight.

You never know how these comments affect a person. My closest friends and family didn't know what was going on with me, and I cannot tell you how often they talked about it, which really did just fuel me. Not blaming them, it was how I interpreted those conversations that was the problem.

It's just to be a bit more mindful, and not make everything about weight. It's way too much of a culture in our society.

beks101

Lia_lia wrote: »

What. I always comment if someone has lost weight. Or if almost anything about their appearance has changed (for the better!).

It's seems like we have to watch what we say to everyone about anything these days, it's pretty sad.

That's coming from someone who doesn't have food or weight issues though - right? I don't mean to be assumptive - and correct me if I'm wrong - but from the above, you sound like you don't share these struggles.

My Dad would be the same - my illness was always a mystery to him. He thought I was immature and irrational for wanting to lose so much weight and then refusing to gain when my health was on the line. He has a heart of gold and went to the ends of the earth to support me - drove me to and from my appointments in Dublin, came to my counselling sessions and all the rest, but it made no sense to him. It was instinctive to him to comment if I looked drastically different - be it my hair, my clothes, my weight, whatever.

And that's a normal reaction. But you just don't know what's going on in the other person's head. No matter how positive their reaction seems to be and no matter how you feel you yourself would react to the same comment.

And from my experience with the women in my life and their relationship with their bodies, I would say you are in the minority of females if you haven't/don't have food and weight issues.

beks101

beks101 wrote: »

That's coming from someone who doesn't have food or weight issues though - right? I don't mean to be assumptive - and correct me if I'm wrong - but from the above, you sound like you don't share these struggles.

.

I have always struggled with weight and food. Since my very late teens, before that I was very slim and beautifully toned. I would definitely not have lost the weight I have without people telling me I had lost weight. There was a period of about 10lbs where no one seemed to notice and I was so very close to giving up as I didn't see the point. Suddenly everyone was saying it to me and it motivated me to continue. A very close friend who dropped from 16stone to 5stone and was told she was on the brink of death [who ten years on is very healthy and happy] would tell me when I had lost weight.

I understand where yourself and PP are coming from, that it shouldn't always be about weight, and saying "you look great" can be effective too but I don't think we should always avoid the weight issue.

I'm starting to accept my body of late, but ultimately the reason I want to be thinner is to feel gorgeous. That's it. Pure vanity

Abi

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm starting to accept my body of late, but ultimately the reason I want to be thinner is to feel gorgeous. That's it. Pure vanity

I've met you before a couple of times Whoopsie, and I think you're beautiful. Your reasons for wanting to lose weight are your own, and I respect that. But it won't change the fact that you're a natural beauty as you are

SarahBeep!

I was trying something on yesterday and I started looking at myself.

This will look amazing with your hair done and your make up on...
Your boobs look great...
It hides your tummy...
Waist/his look good...

Then I got to my legs. I have out of practice rugby player legs.
Decided I wanna tone up my legs. This will know off a tiny bit of weight too. Then start working on my middle.

I don't wanna be 'thinner', I wanna be healthier. I want to tone up. I want to be desirable.

Lia_lia

Princess Peach wrote: »

It's just re-enforcing this idea that weight is so important, the first thing you notice. You should just say "You look really nice today." If they have new clothes because of their weight loss, comment on that. Maybe the seem healthier, so tell them they look really happy lately. Don't make it all about the weight.

You never know how these comments affect a person. My closest friends and family didn't know what was going on with me, and I cannot tell you how often they talked about it, which really did just fuel me. Not blaming them, it was how I interpreted those conversations that was the problem.

It's just to be a bit more mindful, and not make everything about weight. It's way too much of a culture in our society.

I see what you mean, but not everyone has weight issues. People can often be delighted if you comment on their weight-loss. I usually only comment if I know the person has been trying to lose weight (healthily!)

I lost a lot of weight last year (wasn't really intentional..I just lose weight easily), went quite underweight for my height, and lots people were saying I looked ill and too thin and to "eat a few cakes" etc... That in my opinion is way worse than telling someone they look good

beks101 wrote: »

And from my experience with the women in my life and their relationship with their bodies, I would say you are in the minority of females if you haven't/don't have food and weight issues.

Ah, I have had food issues. I once gave up everything nice (sweets/cakes etc) for a year because I thought they made me put on weight. I grew up a vegetarian, then started eating meat at about 17 but then gave it up a few years later because I thought it was making me put on weight (and low and behold I then dropped from a size 12 to an 8 in a few months)...

I just make mad, strict lifestyle changes to keep my body looking the way I want instead of obsessing over it like many girls do.

LollieB

well I did it. I spoke to pretty much all of my close friends about the body dysmorphia, about my eating habits and my obsessive habits. Had to email the few that were abroad and had one very emotional skype! I'm spent after it. It was so nerve wracking, especially in the case of the emails as I had to wait for a reply. Had a restless sleep and a ball of nerves in the pit of my tummy.

I went out at the weekend to take my mind off things. Had one of the best nights out I've had in aaages. Got a lock in at the pub & sat up 'til 5am chatting with a bar tender. We spoke about everything & I've never been so honest with someone. We kissed & stayed at his. He took my number & we've since been chatting.

I've never felt so free to be very honest. People didn't run for the hills when I told them. I didn't get sectioned (at least not yet). Everyone has been understanding. I realised that if a friendship did die over my sharing, then it wasn't a friendship. It's out in the open & I don't have to hide it. I also don't have to bang on about it either.

Now I really don't know what's next, maybe a support group? I definitely feel more able join one now but maybe I'm going too fast.

All I know is that my raspberry & coconut brownies are baking in the oven, I feel closer to my friends and feel that I am taking back some control!

Princess Peach

LollieB wrote: »

Now I really don't know what's next, maybe a support group? I definitely feel more able join one now but maybe I'm going too fast.
!

I did one on one counselling and two support groups, one for eating disorders and one for body dismorphia. I really liked the support groups, nice to talk to other girls who are similar. Like something I do or think that I feel is crazy girl behavior, others are the same! Makes you feel normal! And even though you don't get as much face time with the psychologists, I still felt it really helped.

In the body dismorphia class most of us had eating disorders but a couple of the girls just had body image issues. I like one on one counselling, but I did enjoy the support groups more.

I kinda felt a bit cured about over a month ago, and stopped going. But have just noticed my bad habits slipping up again, didn't even realise things I was doing! So going to consciously try to take on board what I have learned before, and if it doesn't seem to turn around in a few weeks I will probably go back to support group or the psychologist.

Stheno

Lia_lia wrote: »

What. I always comment if someone has lost weight. Or if almost anything about their appearance has changed (for the better!).

It's seems like we have to watch what we say to everyone about anything these days, it's pretty sad.

And what if someone in work who was already thin lost weight? Would you comment on that? Or if they looked unhealthy would you think differently?

beks101 wrote: »

And from my experience with the women in my life and their relationship with their bodies, I would say you are in the minority of females if you haven't/don't have food and weight issues.

I genuinely don't have food/weight issues, I was a stocky child and lost the "baby fat" when I was about 16, and since then have tended to fluctuate between an 8 and a 12 depending on stress (and what stores I am shopping in ) Last time I weighed myself (don't have a scales lol) was last Sept in my doctors and I can't remember the weight I was then but it was fine so I left it at that.

I've never been on a diet, eat what I like, and in that sense am blessed in that I inherited my dads genes weight wise.

However I absolutely hate people commenting on my weight, especially if I've dropped a haf stone or more, my doctor observes my weight when I go in and comments if I've lost weight, my colleagues comment on how thin I am, and then are disgusted that I've had food they wouldn't dream of eating with no consequence to my weight etc.

Equally I would never comment if I thought a female friend/colleague had gained weight in case they were pregnant

Lia_lia wrote: »

I lost a lot of weight last year (wasn't really intentional..I just lose weight easily), went quite underweight for my height, and lots people were saying I looked ill and too thin and to "eat a few cakes" etc... That in my opinion is way worse than telling someone they look good

I get called "the skinny bitch" in work to my face. Not any badness, more envy from colleagues who are watching their weight and not meant in a bad or mean way at all, it's pure "I can't believe you can eat whatever you like and not worry about your weight" reaction type of thing. It can actually make you feel very negative about yourself as much as someone commenting on someone being overweight if that makes sense?

Lia_lia

Stheno wrote: »

And what if someone in work who was already thin lost weight? Would you comment on that? Or if they looked unhealthy would you think differently?

Well, yeah. But not in a "well done" kinda way..

Stheno

Lia_lia wrote: »

Well, yeah. But not in a "well done" kinda way..

That's what has essentially caused me to adopt what someone said earlier, and just tell people they look really well/I like their outfit etc.

I no longer comment on weight.

Some people struggle to keep their weight down, some struggle to keep their weight up. It seems far more acceptable to comment on those who are too thin than those who are too fat, and in some sense to denigrate them.

I often get lovely comments about my clothes/makeup whatever, but if someone points out body features or that I'm slim/thin/skinny I view it negatively, just as someone who may be struggling with weight might be the same, yet it seems its far more socially acceptable to comment on someone being too thin than it is the opposite?

Lia_lia

^

I just think commenting on someones weight-loss if I know they have been trying to lose weight is nice. But I see what you mean, if one was to tell someone they were overweight and should lose weight as it's a danger to their health...there would be war! I have kinda said to people they should try and lose weight before. I'm just a really blunt/honest person, not a great personality trait.


I have had loads of people comment on my weight before (whether it be weight-loss or an increase in weight) and they used to bother me alright, but now I've just learned to not care what anyone says about me.

Sea Filly

Stheno wrote: »

It seems far more acceptable to comment on those who are too thin than those who are too fat, and in some sense to denigrate them.

Stheno wrote: »

I often get lovely comments about my clothes/makeup whatever, but if someone points out body features or that I'm slim/thin/skinny I view it negatively, just as someone who may be struggling with weight might be the same, yet it seems its far more socially acceptable to comment on someone being too thin than it is the opposite?

It's more socially acceptable to comment, both positively and negatively, on someone's thinness because being thin is socially and culturally desirable.

shimmery

I am actually going to put the weighing scales up in the attic tomorrow. It has a hold over how I feel about myself and I'm sick of it.

miec

In answer to the original Ops question, I want to be slimmer because of health, energy and confidence. I'm overweight, at my heaviest now, and over the years my weight fluctuates. I used to be very active but less so in recent times. A few weeks back I saw a photo of myself and I looked really plumpy (fat) and I hated looking like that so have cut back on food (cakes etc) and started going to the gym. Already I feel like I'm toning up and I know in time I will fit into my old clothes and feel better about myself, have a less painful knee, be able to run up the stairs and be fitter.

But in saying all this I think at the moment there is an extreme focus on body size. Most women's magazines are obsessed with who has gained weight and who has lost weight, I think it is terrible when slim women are called skinny bitches and larger women are referred to as 'real women' to me it is a slap in the face to all women. Yes I'm a larger woman, and even when I was a slim woman I was broad so I'll never be petite looking, but to say because I am large that makes me more 'real' is an insult. All women are real. Also I do my best not to comment on women's body sizes, although I do want to have a slim buffed up body like I see in the gym and that is for me not society. Being overweight is very unpleasant, sometimes really affecting the health, I know that I am much more tired and feel less inclined to do things because it takes more effort. It is not a nice rut to get into and if I don't do something now I'll become obese and for me that would feel awful.

PrincessLola

Stheno wrote: »

That's what has essentially caused me to adopt what someone said earlier, and just tell people they look really well/I like their outfit etc.

I no longer comment on weight.

Some people struggle to keep their weight down, some struggle to keep their weight up. It seems far more acceptable to comment on those who are too thin than those who are too fat, and in some sense to denigrate them.

I often get lovely comments about my clothes/makeup whatever, but if someone points out body features or that I'm slim/thin/skinny I view it negatively, just as someone who may be struggling with weight might be the same, yet it seems its far more socially acceptable to comment on someone being too thin than it is the opposite?

You cannot pretend that we live in a cultural vaccum.

I say this as a slim person myself, Western society values thinness in women. You cannot pretend that very thin women have it just as bad as very fat women. They do not. It is always going to be much harder to be overweight in our culture.

Madam_X

I agree PrincessLola. Programme on the other night called Bulging Brides - so many weightloss programmes! I was expecting women who were very overweight and needed to lose the weight mainly for health reasons and using their impending weddings to motivate themselves, which I personally wouldn't view as a bad thing. Eh... the girl I saw was about a size 10 and just wanted to fit into a too-small wedding dress! Her personal trainer was speaking to her as if she was obese! I know a personal trainer is supposed to be tough on clients but it was unpleasant viewing. Ok it was her choice but it struck me as distasteful. She looked the same after the brutal regime! And it was scales, scales, scales - not a great yardstick when a person only needs to tone up.

I think there is too much stock placed in the scales. There are cases of people being really disappointed because of seeing no difference in their weight, yet they LOOK slimmer and their clothes are looser. The scales only gives part of the full picture. And 10.5 stone could be the correct weight of one woman whose height is 5 ft 5", a bit overweight for another. Build is an important variable factor also. If you're a curvy woman with big boobs etc you will naturally weigh more than a woman whose build is more slender.

A lot of exercise will build muscle too and I know someone made the point that a lb of muscle is the same weight as a lb of fat, but a muscular thigh will weigh more than an untoned one. Water retention causes weight gain also, so don't feel disheartened if you're working hard and it isn't reflecting on the scales.

Jackobyte

Went on some diet pills before and they didn't work for me. Starved myself and that didnt work either.

I've just learnt to accept my weight. Yes of course I'd love to be trimmer but then again, size isn't everything I guess. Unless it affects my health.

And I'm a very... feminine man, people have told me.. I seemed to just have this way of thinking. size size size. (yes, fitting the stereotype of a feminine man ><) but then I looked at the bigger picture and I have a boyfriend who loves me and I feel great in my own skin.
And I'm young and have life to look forward to
Probably went off track in this thread tbh. Sorry. But answering the question, yes id love to be slimmer but I've learnt to accept myself

analucija

I'm getting a bit sick of complaints over magazines (mostly tabloids) and rubbish TV programs. If people won't watch them and won't read them and they'll disappear. I'm pretty sure Living TV would be making Panorama like programs if they'd be as popular.

Anyway I like how clothes look on me when I'm slimmer and also putting on excessive weight is usually sign of unhealthy living for me (I know some people put on weight quicker than others). I'm OK with being size 12 although 10 is better, but once I go towards 14 I know I should look after myself a bit better. I don't have weighting scales at home and and years ago when I got rid of them I actually lost some weight and maintained it and then I got pregnant. It's a lot easier when you don't live under daily pressure of checking how much you gained or lost and reasoning that you just had a big glass of water or your hair is a bit wet.

Ilyana

I weighed myself twice in the last month. My period was due the first time and the numbers on the scale left me in tears. The second time, I was 5lbs lighter and delighted with myself. However, I looked essentially the same both times, give or take some bloating. It's wrong that a bathroom scales should have such a hold over my self esteem, and I'm finally learning that being healthy is worth far more than being a pound lighter than last week.

Right now I'm a size 10-12, and this is the yardstick I'd rather use - along with general wellbeing and fitness. My BMI is a little close to the overweight side of normal, but I intend to just get moving more and eating better - starting today. It's as much about my state of mind as my weight; if I don't look after myself then I become lethargic and negative. That is a far bigger incentive to be healthy, than a number on a screen.

Sea Filly

One good reason I like being thinner is that I just feel more comfortable, if that makes sense. I didn't like having a big tummy, or feeling blown-up and bloated or not being able to see my cheekbones.