The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

tatumkelly

Cianan2 wrote: »

I think i had built this one up in my head though, guys.

The lack of attention/messages from the female gender (both on and offline) had made me think that tonight was a way out of this sh1te!

Unfortunately not.

Don't get too caught up with meeting someone, it'll happen when you least expect it. I always think if you build someone up too much, it's as unfair on them as it is on yourself because they can never live up to your expectations.

bmwguy

Hi there first time poster long time lurker here, I really enjoy reading this thread and have shared the same crazy experiences as many of you. Just want to share a good story, I've been trying speed dating ( a lot) and internet dating since the start of the year and have been moderately succesful, i.e. 3 dates with different girls from speed dating and 2 others from internet dating, all nice girls but never really any spark on my side except for 1, and she didnt feel the same about me unfortunately, but I thought I'd just use the law of averages and eventually there would be a mutual attraction so was happy to keep going on new dates. After all, they were all fun and I thought it was the only way I'd meet people in the future. Anyway, while out on a Sat night a few weeks ago with a big group of friends I saw an eastern european lady I know for years so decided to say hello, now she is married with lots of kids so no romantic intentions just being friendly. However, her sister has just moved to Ireland to study and was out with her and she insisted that we meet, and basically put her number into my phone and mine into hers. She was very pretty although had trouble hearing each other over the crazy loud music. I stayed chatting to them for rest of night ( friends got ditched!!) and said goodbye at the end of the night, plenty of drink on all sides anyway. The next day I decided to ring her and suggest we do something, so I just showed her a few things around Dublin, Stephens Green, Guinness storehouse etc had a really brilliant time and we've met up a good few times since and its going really well, we've plenty more lined up too, even in the medium term such as mid summer when it gets warmer!! I can genuinely say she is the most intelligent and interesting girl I can remember meeting, and thats not in any way a dig at Irish girls, I suppose whats different interests me. Up to now I would have dismissed non Irish as I thought only Irish girls would get my humour etc. and I really saw myself settling with an Irish girl eventually. I even dusmissed good looking foreigners on dating sites and speed dating as I didnt think I'd have anything in common with them or anything interesting to talk about but boy was I wrong. The moral of the story is keep plugging away at it, try lots of different avenues, dont give up (i had 5 failed meet ups that didnt lead anywhere in 4 months) have fun above all and give everyone a chance, something right will come for you all eventually. Now fingers crossed I don't f##k this up!!

Samich

The whole "it'll happen when it least expect it" isn't true for me, I've never expected anything to happen

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

timmy880

I've returned to POF after a few months away from it. Last time managed to get 3 dates. And all ended with at least a second date so that was promising... Things not going too well this time but might as well keep at it for a while!!

I_am_LOST

Got talking to a really nice guy. We have a ridiculous amount of common interests! But trouble is I'm not attracted to him Before you call me a b1tch, we did get on to the subject of looks, personality, attractiveness etc. And he asked if I found him attractive. I said he wasn't really my type (in the nicest way possible! ) And we've kept chatting anyway. He asked me to meet him, what should I do? Has anyone ever used this site just to make friends? Cos even though I'm not attracted to him I'd say we'd get on great!

mood

I_am_LOST wrote: »

Got talking to a really nice guy. We have a ridiculous amount of common interests! But trouble is I'm not attracted to him Before you call me a b1tch, we did get on to the subject of looks, personality, attractiveness etc. And he asked if I found him attractive. I said he wasn't really my type (in the nicest way possible! ) And we've kept chatting anyway. He asked me to meet him, what should I do? Has anyone ever used this site just to make friends? Cos even though I'm not attracted to him I'd say we'd get on great!

Only meet if he know it's only a friends thing. Don't lead him on.

That_Guy

Samich wrote: »

The whole "it'll happen when it least expect it" isn't true for me, I've never expected anything to happen

Not with that attitude it won't. Seriously. You have to make things work for yourself. It's not going to fall into your lap at the drop of a hat. It just doesn't happen like that.

You need to be comfortable with yourself first and foremost before you can be comfortable with anybody else.

Took me bloody ages to realise that and it's the best possible advice I can give to anybody.

Honey-ec

Samich wrote: »

The whole "it'll happen when it least expect it" isn't true for me, I've never expected anything to happen

Aquila wrote: »

Man with that attitude how the hell can you expect a gal to fall for ya?
If ya find online dating isnt working have you tried different avenues?aside from pubs and clubs,whats your interests etc?

I have to agree with Aquila, Samich. Please don't take this the wrong way but you came across as quite confrontational on POF when you messaged me, so it's very possible that your attitude is what's putting potential dates off. I mean that in the nicest possible way, I'm not having a go at you.

I_am_LOST

mood wrote: »

Only meet if he know it's only a friends thing. Don't lead him on.

Ok I guess I'll just have to emphasise that again :pac: I feel like such a b1tch for not being attracted to someone but sure what can ya do.

Honey-ec

I_am_LOST wrote: »

Ok I guess I'll just have to emphasise that again :pac: I feel like such a b1tch for not being attracted to someone but sure what can ya do.

Lookit, you can't make yourself fancy someone. I was like that with the guy who sent me the flowers, on paper he was perfect, but I just didn't fancy him, as much as I would have liked to...

hollypink

I_am_LOST wrote: »

Ok I guess I'll just have to emphasise that again :pac: I feel like such a b1tch for not being attracted to someone but sure what can ya do.

Ah try not to feel that way, you're not going to be attracted to every guy you get along with, that's just the way attraction works. I know the feeling though, it's not nice when you meet someone who is lovely to chat to and you really want there to be chemistry and there just isn't.

That_Guy

I_am_LOST wrote: »

Ok I guess I'll just have to emphasise that again :pac: I feel like such a b1tch for not being attracted to someone but sure what can ya do.

Why? You can't help how you feel... Or in this case, don't feel about someone.

You're not going to fancy everybody who inititates contact with you.

I_am_LOST

Ah I know, just the majority of messages I get are sleazy or no effort 'hi' messages, so when ya get chatting to someone nice and they share a lot of your interests, it just sucks when you're not attracted to him. But I think I might meet him anyway, if he's up for it as just friends.

That_Guy

I_am_LOST wrote: »

Ah I know, just the majority of messages I get are sleazy or no effort 'hi' messages, so when ya get chatting to someone nice and they share a lot of your interests, it just sucks when you're not attracted to him. But I think I might meet him anyway, if he's up for it as just friends.

No harm in it so long as he knows where he stands.

Armaghmagic

Armaghmagic wrote: »

She just txt to cancel the cinema date tonight......gutted!!

Update on the above, woke up this morning to find not 1 but 2 texts from her.....the first saying that she wasnt able to sleep and when I did not reply (was asleep ) she sent me another 10 minutes later asking if I had any plans for Saturday night to which I replied "not yet, yourself?"

Needless to say I have woken up properly and sent another text suggesting drinks and a late movie for Saturday night! Good start to the day, just when that avenue looked dead and buried!:)

Dolly Daydreams

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Update on the above, woke up this morning to find not 1 but 2 texts from her.....the first saying that she wasnt able to sleep and when I did not reply (was asleep ) she sent me another 10 minutes later asking if I had any plans for Saturday night to which I replied "not yet, yourself?"

Needless to say I have woken up properly and sent another text suggesting drinks and a late movie for Saturday night! Good start to the day, just when that avenue looked dead and buried!:)

Ah that's great news, defo thought it was good to give her the benefit of the doubt

I'm only properly back on POF the last 2 days and I'm having a right ruddy hoot. Couple of nice guys & also a couple of fruitcakes, least it's entertaining

That_Guy

That_Guy wrote: »

She wouldn't appreciate that me lad. :pac:



Tagged.com -- Like a horny Bebo. Awful site. My mate actually met his girlfriend from that site. One of... If not the only success story I've ever heard from that site.

Horny bebo, you say? I may have just signed up after reading this.

Galvasean

Got a strange mail on POF. No idea what it says to be honest. No punctuation, no capital letters, no structure, buzz all proper spelling, lack of full-stop....
Sometimes I wonder if people mash the keyboard and hope for the best?

Oh God. I signed up to tagged, went on to someone's profile and terrible music started playing. No idea how to stop it. Agh, bad bebo memories coming back. Plus it looks like a badly designed website from the 90s.

Make it stop, make it stop.

timmy880

Well at least you got a message! More than I've been getting

That_Guy

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh God. I signed up to tagged, went on to someone's profile and terrible music started playing. No idea how to stop it. Agh, bad bebo memories coming back. Plus it looks like a badly designed website from the 90s.

Make it stop, make it stop.

I have zero sympathy. Absolute cluster fúck of a website.

ladylost

I_am_LOST wrote: »

Got talking to a really nice guy. We have a ridiculous amount of common interests! But trouble is I'm not attracted to him Before you call me a b1tch, we did get on to the subject of looks, personality, attractiveness etc. And he asked if I found him attractive. I said he wasn't really my type (in the nicest way possible! ) And we've kept chatting anyway. He asked me to meet him, what should I do? Has anyone ever used this site just to make friends? Cos even though I'm not attracted to him I'd say we'd get on great!

Think you should meet him. I've met guys that would not necessarily be attractive to me from their pics but I met them there was an attraction. I don't think one date is leading anyone on. You can both see how you feel after that.

What makes it worse more than anything, is that there seems to be so much more people on there than on most other sites. How have I never actually heard of it before? Erm, though I'm beginning to wish I hadn't. Text speak everywhere. Terrible animated GIFs. Agh.

Armaghmagic

Deleted User wrote: »

What makes it worse more than anything, is that there seems to be so much more people on there than on most other sites. How have I never actually heard of it before? Erm, though I'm beginning to wish I hadn't. Text speak everywhere. Terrible animated GIFs. Agh.

Apologies for mentioning it......feel really guilty now!!:o

herisson

Deleted User wrote: »

What makes it worse more than anything, is that there seems to be so much more people on there than on most other sites. How have I never actually heard of it before? Erm, though I'm beginning to wish I hadn't. Text speak everywhere. Terrible animated GIFs. Agh.

its an awful sight! a few of my friends are on it they like it
but ive seen it and it looks awful! its painful to even look at it...

andreac

Fourth date with the guy from POF tonight

We are getting on great, chatting on the phone everyday and seems to be going in the right direction.

Armaghmagic

andreac wrote: »

Fourth date with the guy from POF tonight

We are getting on great, chatting on the phone everyday and seems to be going in the right direction.

Glad to hear that Andrea, he is a lucky lucky guy

So would you call him your boyfriend? Did much develop after the 3rd date?:)

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

andreac

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Glad to hear that Andrea, he is a lucky lucky guy

So would you call him your boyfriend? Did much develop after the 3rd date?:)

God def not my boyfriend after 3 dates, i wouldnt even know someone well enough to decide it be that serious. Will prob be another few weeks before thats decided.