It's damn rude to ask, damn rude

Boskowski

SunnyLucy wrote: »

Thankfully I'm far from ignorant, unfortunately the same cannot be said for you! First you say its the manner and tone of the question and THEN you say its because its the first thing they ask you??!! Make up your mind. And SO WHAT if its the first thing they say to you. It's still JUST a question, the same as any other question.

"Where you from anyways" is the way alot of people in certain parts of Ireland would pose the question, its not meant in a disrespectful way, its just a turn of phrase. Up North they say "What about ya" instead of "How are you", again its just a turn of phrase but maybe you shouldn't venture there if you'll have trouble assuming he's being friendly when you're asked that!
"Anyways" is often tacked on to the end of Irish peoples sentences, its just habit really, the way your defensiveness about where you're from seems to be habit for you.

Look my reply was a bit sharpish and I really didn't mean it like that. Sorry if it came across that way.

What I meant is its all about the way its been said.
But regardless of tone I'd find it a bit offputting if that was the very first thing someone said to me, say even before 'hey how are you', 'nice to meet you' whatever. Not that I'd take offence but I'd find it a bit weird. If the situation was reversed I'd never do that. I mean its kind of a personal question albeit a rather innocent one but personal all the same.
And a lot of the time its followed then by 'what brought you here' which is becoming defny personal now as I don't really have any intention of telling a total stranger first thing whether I met an Irish girl or I'm the run from German revenue or whatnot. Also it kinda implies I should have a reason.

Again I don't mind telling someone all that where the icebreaker thing already happened and we're a few minutes into a conversation, it just feels weird if thats how the conversation starts. You wouldn't go round asking someone 'are you married' as the very first thing you'd say to them right?

Maybe its just me...

Eve_Dublin

Asking someone where they really from is surely a question from the minority? And I can't imagine it only happens in Ireland. I've come across that small-mindedness virtually everywhere I've been to...Latin America...if you look like you're from Asia, you're a "Chino" and in Spain, if you're white and foreign, you're a "Guiri"...a guiri (most of the time) is a derogatory term for pasty-faced Northern Europeans who the Spanish like to laugh at when they can.

Tonight I was asked immediately by a British-Asian guy which part of Ireland was I from...and I asked him which part of Southern England he was from and he actually stalled and laughed a nervous laugh like he didn't expect that. I looked at him square in the eye waiting for an answer..he said "London". Not sure what happened there...maybe he's asked which part of India is he from a fair bit? Twas a strange interaction....

This kind of behaviour exists everywhere. Not just Ireland. Fact. Interactions with different cultures can cause all kinds of confusion but you have to be more open-minded about the idea that small talk will differ from place to place and most people want to get along with you. If it didn't, sure it'd be a boring old world.

Eve_Dublin

Boskowski wrote: »

Look my reply was a bit sharpish and I really didn't mean it that way. Sorry if it came across that way.

What I meant is its all about the way its been said.
But regardless of tone I'd find it a bit offputting if that was the very first thing someone said to me, say even before 'hey how are you', 'nice to meet you' whatever. Not that I'd take offence but I'd find it a bit weird. If the situation was reversed I'd never do that. I mean its kind of a personal question albeit a rather innocent one but kind of personal all the same. You wouldn't go round asking someone 'are you married' as the very first thing you'd say to them right?
Maybe its just me...

I think it's the first question I'm asked by all foreigners being a foreigner myself in a different country...including Germans (and I met many travelling). Germans can be very direct and it could be taken up as rude by their unfamiliar intonation. One German I met said to me, "You couldn't be from Dublin, you're not fat". She didn't mean to offend, it was merely an observation but if I hadn't been round the block a bit more, I could've taken it a very different way. You need to lighten up I think. People are just trying to be friendly and make conversation for the most part.

Latchy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

in Spain, if you're white and foreign, you're a "Guiri"...a guiri (most of the time) is a derogatory term for pasty-faced Northern Europeans who the Spanish like to laugh at when they can.

ola !

Ok ' Gringos ' ... Spains off the holiday destination this year :pac:

CramCycle

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

One German I met said to me, "You couldn't be from Dublin, you're not fat". She didn't mean to offend, it was merely an observation but if I hadn't been round the block a bit more, I could've taken it a very different way.

That sounds like a compliment.

up for anything

There is a way to find out where someone 'is from' without implying that they aren't Irish. I use it a good bit. It sounds strange but people know exactly what you are asking and don't take offence.

"What's your ethnic origin?"

Much better than saying, "You're cafe au lait, speak with a Birmingham accent overlaid with hints of Oz and Cork and that nose can only be Roman but that blond hair must have Scandinavian roots and you dress like a WASP so where the hell are you from?

Morlar

up for anything wrote: »

There is a way to find out where someone 'is from' without implying that they aren't Irish. I use it a good bit. It sounds strange but people know exactly what you are asking and don't take offence.

"What's your ethnic origin?"

Much better than saying, "You're cafe au lait, speak with a Birmingham accent overlaid with hints of Oz and Cork and that nose can only be Roman but that blond hair must have Scandinavian roots and you dress like a WASP so where the hell are you from?

I will stick to saying 'So, where are you from ?'

positron

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

There's very few people on this thread that find that question offensive.

Yep, and there are very few foreign people in this thread. They are the ones who gets offended by this question.

And for all of you commenting you didn't mind someone asking you when you were went to Germany on a weekend trip or America for a month - please - you are missing a crucial point. Here it is.

The main difference is that the guy OP is referring to has been here for a very long time. He lives here, and has family and friends here, and he lives like everyone else here. And to him, he's like everyone else. However, to some others, he's different and from somewhere else!

This is not the same as someone asking where you are from when you are traveling. Imagine yourself living in say Melbourne for next 30 years. Over 30 years your life has moved on so much you are more Australian than Irish. You may still have a slightly different accent to rest of the Australians. When you visit Ireland, people would immediately think you are Aussie because you have a strong Aussie accent. Then, once day in Sydney, a random guy on the street asks you where you are from? You say Melbourne. And he's like, no where are you originally from? This is where you would get slightly annoyed. You are by all measures and standards an Aussie. And this person is implying you are not.

If you find the above hard to digest, just imagine skin color or other features instead of accent. And then forget about first generation immigrants - think of their children, a lot of them are in their teens or twenties now here in Ireland. They know very little of the country of their parent's origin, and while their biological make up is part or not at all Irish, they grew up here and know nothing else. And imagine how it would feel when someone walks up to them, and without the usual pleasantries, goes straight to 'where are you from?'.

It's rude people, it is rude. And those who don't understand why it's rude, hasn't been to, or can not imagine their situation. It is rude to ask it to a stranger without the usual pleasantries. It's fine to ask if it's after a few minutes of usual chat and friendly banter. That's all.

/Thread please!

wild_cat

positron wrote: »

Yep, and there are very few foreign people in this thread. They are the ones who gets offended by this question.

And for all of you commenting you didn't mind someone asking you when you were went to Germany on a weekend trip or America for a month - please - you are missing a crucial point. Here it is.

The main difference is that the guy OP is referring to has been here for a very long time. He lives here, and has family and friends here, and he lives like everyone else here. And to him, he's like everyone else. However, to some others, he's different and from somewhere else!

This is not the same as someone asking where you are from when you are traveling. Imagine yourself living in say Melbourne for next 30 years. Over 30 years your life has moved on so much you are more Australian than Irish. You may still have a slightly different accent to rest of the Australians. When you visit Ireland, people would immediately think you are Aussie because you have a strong Aussie accent. Then, once day in Sydney, a random guy on the street asks you where you are from? You say Melbourne. And he's like, no where are you originally from? This is where you would get slightly annoyed. You are by all measures and standards an Aussie. And this person is implying you are not.

If you find the above hard to digest, just imagine skin color or other features instead of accent. And then forget about first generation immigrants - think of their children, a lot of them are in their teens or twenties now here in Ireland. They know very little of the country of their parent's origin, and while their biological make up is part or not at all Irish, they grew up here and know nothing else. And imagine how it would feel when someone walks up to them, and without the usual pleasantries, goes straight to 'where are you from?'.

It's rude people, it is rude. And those who don't understand why it's rude, hasn't been to, or can not imagine their situation. It is rude to ask it to a stranger without the usual pleasantries. It's fine to ask if it's after a few minutes of usual chat and friendly banter. That's all.

/Thread please!

I'd hate to be that ashamed of my heritage.

IvyTheTerrible

positron wrote: »

Yep, and there are very few foreign people in this thread. They are the ones who gets offended by this question.

And for all of you commenting you didn't mind someone asking you when you were went to Germany on a weekend trip or America for a month - please - you are missing a crucial point. Here it is.

The main difference is that the guy OP is referring to has been here for a very long time. He lives here, and has family and friends here, and he lives like everyone else here. And to him, he's like everyone else. However, to some others, he's different and from somewhere else!

This is not the same as someone asking where you are from when you are traveling. Imagine yourself living in say Melbourne for next 30 years. Over 30 years your life has moved on so much you are more Australian than Irish. You may still have a slightly different accent to rest of the Australians. When you visit Ireland, people would immediately think you are Aussie because you have a strong Aussie accent. Then, once day in Sydney, a random guy on the street asks you where you are from? You say Melbourne. And he's like, no where are you originally from? This is where you would get slightly annoyed. You are by all measures and standards an Aussie. And this person is implying you are not.

If you find the above hard to digest, just imagine skin color or other features instead of accent. And then forget about first generation immigrants - think of their children, a lot of them are in their teens or twenties now here in Ireland. They know very little of the country of their parent's origin, and while their biological make up is part or not at all Irish, they grew up here and know nothing else. And imagine how it would feel when someone walks up to them, and without the usual pleasantries, goes straight to 'where are you from?'.

It's rude people, it is rude. And those who don't understand why it's rude, hasn't been to, or can not imagine their situation. It is rude to ask it to a stranger without the usual pleasantries. It's fine to ask if it's after a few minutes of usual chat and friendly banter. That's all.

/Thread please!

It may be rude in certain circumstances but it is understandable.

I plan on living here in France for the long term. I will never have a perfect accent, so I will not be offended if someone asks me where I am from. I could understand people being offended if they are asked where they are from based on their appearance without waiting to hear if they sound French.

(I actually find the questions I'm asked like "How did you get a job over here?" much MUCH more offensive).

Reloc8

What gives you any reason to be proud of your 'heritage' - you had f all to do with it or the getting of it. You might as well be proud of not having a tail.

You don't have a tail do you ?

Edit @wildcat

wild_cat

Reloc8 wrote: »

What gives you any reason to be proud of your 'heritage' - you had f all to do with it or the getting of it. You might as well be proud of not having a tail.

You don't have a tail do you ?

Edit @wildcat

I do as I am not a manx....

I meant that the person that poster was describing seemed ashamed of the country they were born in. Hence being asked about where they "really" are from offended them as they seemed like they wanted to "forget" where they were born.

You also can't forget where you were born either. No decent person is going to judge you on your place of birth anyway. I do see it as offensive if someone is actually Irish but happens to be dark skinned and someone keeps pressing for an answer that suits the idea they have in their own head. Usually if someone asks and they respond with "waterford" and not the country you assumed in your head you won't say any more.

Next time a Dub thinks I'm from cork/or the north.. (serious accent mix ups) again I'm going to loose it with them.

mackg

wild_cat wrote: »

I do as I am not a manx....

I meant that the person that poster was describing seemed ashamed of the country they were born in. Hence being asked about where they "really" are from offended them as they seemed like they wanted to "forget" where they were born.

You also can't forget where you were born either. No decent person is going to judge you on your place of birth anyway. I do see it as offensive if someone is actually Irish but happens to be dark skinned and someone keeps pressing for an answer that suits the idea they have in their own head. Usually if someone asks and they respond with "waterford" and not the country you assumed in your head you won't say any more.

Next time a Dub thinks I'm from cork/or the north.. (serious accent mix ups) again I'm going to loose it with them.

*yanks tail*

*runs away*

positron

wild_cat wrote: »

I meant that the person that poster was describing seemed ashamed of the country they were born in. Hence being asked about where they "really" are from offended them as they seemed like they wanted to "forget" where they were born.

You got me entirely wrong there and I can't imagine why you would think someone is ashamed of their heritage if they want to feel normal in where ever they live? That's a very strange idea.

Being accepted for who they are and what they do is fair and what anyone would expect. Judging a person by his looks, accent etc (and asking / commenting based on that judgement) is rude no matter what tangent you want to take this argument to. Like I said, you probably can't understand it as you are still trying to compare Dublin/Cork/North etc to where as I am talking about much much different scenarios that involves a lot of complex undertones and levels of social injustice, discrimination and what not. So please don't assume it's not rude just because you can't understand / imagine it.

wild_cat

positron wrote: »

You got me entirely wrong there and I can't imagine why you would think someone is ashamed of their heritage if they want to feel normal in where ever they live? That's a very strange idea.

Being accepted for who they are and what they do is fair and what anyone would expect. Judging a person by his looks, accent etc (and asking / commenting based on that judgement) is rude no matter what tangent you want to take this argument to. Like I said, you probably can't understand it as you are still trying to compare Dublin/Cork/North etc to where as I am talking about much much different scenarios that involves a lot of complex undertones and levels of social injustice, discrimination and what not. So please don't assume it's not rude just because you can't understand / imagine it.

Here my mother is protestant by birth. Changed over to Catholicism when she got married. I've taken enough **** for that in a small rural village. So don't talk to me about "social injustice, discrimination and what not". Especially with my first name its presumed I'm protestant..... or the way that I'm a bit "quirky" - Its all linked back to that.

So get off that high horse before you fall off it yourself. There's still a few people that call me the "half prod".

positron

lol, but you don't have to print that name on your forehead do you? I think we heading down this route now! You think you had it tough?...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

PS: Now that you edited your post with the high-horse (not the horse, oh no...), what am I, Mandrake fecking Houdini bin Daren Brown aka Pope le God to guess your family history, past, food preferences and the narrow minded bigots you shared your childhood with based on just your internet handle that you gave yourself in less than a second? I was comparing what you said - about how you get slagged for your accent in Dublin/Cork/North whatever, and how that is not comparable to an immigrant, who like everyone else, knows/reads/sees and possibly experiences racial hatred, social seclusion and possible ridicule despite doing 110% to be a normal decent contributing member of the society. So yeah, high-horse you if you like dear sir, but I have my bum firmly on the ground and have grass stains to prove it!

wild_cat

positron wrote: »

lol, but you don't have to print that name on your forehead do you? I think we heading down this route now! You think you had it tough?...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

So its you think its not ok for someone to ask someone where they are from.... But its ok to mock backward stupid jeering that almost borders on sectarianism?

Redonblonde

I always ask! It's usually to allow me to try out my random phrases of various languages or to ask where is nice to visit when I go there. Nobody has ever minded.then again I do look like a harmless spacer and tip real good

prinz

It's damn rude to ask, damn rude! *drops monocle* :pac:

One of the first questions I ask when I am chatting with someone who is accented/foreign (could be English, Moldovan, Somalian whatever). Never have had any bad reactions so I don't know why the OP is getting upset on behalf of people who generally like to discuss where they are from and their background. It's taxi drivers usually, and nearly all have been eager to discuss their homelands and when abroad myself I find it's a handy conversation starter when somebody asks me.

CramCycle

Then, once day in Sydney, a random guy on the street asks you where you are from? You say Melbourne. And he's like, no where are you originally from? This is where you would get slightly annoyed. You are by all measures and standards an Aussie. And this person is implying you are not.

I think this is the difference between peoples attitudes, personally I'd be impresssed he could pick up my accent after 30 years (I still have people picking up my foreign accent and take no offence to it, only dubs in fact never notice it).

And imagine how it would feel when someone walks up to them, and without the usual pleasantries, goes straight to 'where are you from?'.

Surely thats more the tone than the question, his aunt didn't walk up to a guy, the guy walked over to them and she knew they would see alot of each other over the evening and thought it would be nice to strike up a conversation instead of being a tosser who won't talk to the waiter at all.

It's rude people, it is rude. And those who don't understand why it's rude, hasn't been to, or can not imagine their situation. It is rude to ask it to a stranger without the usual pleasantries. It's fine to ask if it's after a few minutes of usual chat and friendly banter. That's all.

It's rude in certain situations, if you cannot distinguish these situations then there is nothing to say you. (I have had plenty of experience).

If someone does it out of interest, take it at that.

If someone does it out of maliciousness, f*ck 'em and walk away.

If you can't tell, don't overreact, either keep chatting till you find out or politely excuse yourself.

/Thread please!

+1

jme2010

Lux23 wrote: »

one South Africa friend says he is from Dublin now just so he doesn't have to go over the story again and again.

Any chance people ask him about his accent?

I love the South African accent best sounding in the world imo.

Feeona

CramCycle wrote: »

It's rude in certain situations, if you cannot distinguish these situations then there is nothing to say you. (I have had plenty of experience).

If someone does it out of interest, take it at that.

If someone does it out of maliciousness, f*ck 'em and walk away.

If you can't tell, don't overreact, either keep chatting till you find out or politely excuse yourself.

+1. Things can get sh*tty enough in life without being paranoid about what someone might or might not have said!

Irish Guitarist

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

There's very few people on this thread that find that question offensive.

I'm not just talking about this thread. I often see threads on this forum where people talk about how they were shocked by what someone said to them or by some conversation they overheard. Most of these conversations are things that people wouldn't have batted an eyelid at years ago.

Chinasea

positron wrote: »

You got me entirely wrong there and I can't imagine why you would think someone is ashamed of their heritage if they want to feel normal in where ever they live? That's a very strange idea.

Being accepted for who they are and what they do is fair and what anyone would expect. Judging a person by his looks, accent etc (and asking / commenting based on that judgement) is rude no matter what tangent you want to take this argument to. Like I said, you probably can't understand it as you are still trying to compare Dublin/Cork/North etc to where as I am talking about much much different scenarios that involves a lot of complex undertones and levels of social injustice, discrimination and what not. So please don't assume it's not rude just because you can't understand / imagine it.

This is totally the point

IzzyWizzy

positron wrote: »

If you find the above hard to digest, just imagine skin color or other features instead of accent. And then forget about first generation immigrants - think of their children, a lot of them are in their teens or twenties now here in Ireland. They know very little of the country of their parent's origin, and while their biological make up is part or not at all Irish, they grew up here and know nothing else. And imagine how it would feel when someone walks up to them, and without the usual pleasantries, goes straight to 'where are you from?'.

It's rude people, it is rude. And those who don't understand why it's rude, hasn't been to, or can not imagine their situation. It is rude to ask it to a stranger without the usual pleasantries. It's fine to ask if it's after a few minutes of usual chat and friendly banter. That's all.

/Thread please!

You're totally right. The majority of people just don't seem to be able to understand being in the situation, because they never have been.

wild_cat wrote: »

I'd hate to be that ashamed of my heritage.

Plenty of people couldn't care less about their heritage. I know it's really hard for most Irish people to imagine, but a lot of people leave their homeland because they don't like living there or they're not that arsed either way. Some people leave because they've been persecuted or something else really negative. So why would they want to remember their place of birth? I don't get why so many people think you automatically have to love the place you come from.

wild_cat wrote: »

You also can't forget where you were born either.

Why not? Why is it so important? I have a friend who was born in Korea but adopted by Irish parents when she was a baby. She doesn't remember a thing about Korea and couldn't care less about it. Why should she?

No decent person is going to judge you on your place of birth anyway. I do see it as offensive if someone is actually Irish but happens to be dark skinned and someone keeps pressing for an answer that suits the idea they have in their own head. Usually if someone asks and they respond with "waterford" and not the country you assumed in your head you won't say any more.

The majority of people do that. When people ask where I'm really from and I say England (because that's where I was born), I can see them secretly getting annoyed because that's not what they really wanted to know. They really meant 'why are you so brown?' Some people come out and say it, some just think it, but it's extremely obvious.

Fighting Irish

I was in Aldi today and the cashier i was at put up his "This Til Is Closed" sign just after i came. For the next 30 secs everyone went to the other cashier no problem then along came this aul one who said "are you really really closed?" knowing right well that if the cashier said yes then it'd make him look like a bit of a dick so he let her in.
I can't stand people like this, ignorant as fuck!!

moco

Kind of off topic a bit but my parents say and do really embarrassing things around foreigners. My mum has a Lithuanian girl who helps her clean once a week and when she speaks to her she talks really slow in a broken attempt at a Lithuanian accent. Things like 'Do you drink tea in your coun-tree?' I don't get why she does it but it's like she can't help herself. The girl's English is great.

My dad was over in London with me in a pub and there was an old guy in a turban propping up the bar. My dad thought it was the funniest thing ever and kept buying him pints.

My sister was going out with a Spanish guy and the first time he came to my house my mum asked where he parked his camel.

Eve_Dublin

positron wrote: »

Yep, and there are very few foreign people in this thread. They are the ones who gets offended by this question.

And for all of you commenting you didn't mind someone asking you when you were went to Germany on a weekend trip or America for a month - please - you are missing a crucial point. Here it is.

The main difference is that the guy OP is referring to has been here for a very long time. He lives here, and has family and friends here, and he lives like everyone else here. And to him, he's like everyone else. However, to some others, he's different and from somewhere else!

This is not the same as someone asking where you are from when you are traveling. Imagine yourself living in say Melbourne for next 30 years. Over 30 years your life has moved on so much you are more Australian than Irish. You may still have a slightly different accent to rest of the Australians. When you visit Ireland, people would immediately think you are Aussie because you have a strong Aussie accent. Then, once day in Sydney, a random guy on the street asks you where you are from? You say Melbourne. And he's like, no where are you originally from? This is where you would get slightly annoyed. You are by all measures and standards an Aussie. And this person is implying you are not.

If you find the above hard to digest, just imagine skin color or other features instead of accent. And then forget about first generation immigrants - think of their children, a lot of them are in their teens or twenties now here in Ireland. They know very little of the country of their parent's origin, and while their biological make up is part or not at all Irish, they grew up here and know nothing else. And imagine how it would feel when someone walks up to them, and without the usual pleasantries, goes straight to 'where are you from?'.

It's rude people, it is rude. And those who don't understand why it's rude, hasn't been to, or can not imagine their situation. It is rude to ask it to a stranger without the usual pleasantries. It's fine to ask if it's after a few minutes of usual chat and friendly banter. That's all.

/Thread please!

Fair enough. In the OP's case I can see why offence could be taken and I've said that before but I'm talking generally here. Foreign people in foreign countries and not those living long-term. I still don't see the question as being offensive generally when it's only said as an ice-breaker but in some of the circumstances here, I can see how it could be for sure.

Out of curiosity, did your Auntie know the guy was in the country so long?

Eve_Dublin

positron wrote: »

lol, but you don't have to print that name on your forehead do you? I think we heading down this route now! You think you had it tough?...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

PS: Now that you edited your post with the high-horse (not the horse, oh no...), what am I, Mandrake fecking Houdini bin Daren Brown aka Pope le God to guess your family history, past, food preferences and the narrow minded bigots you shared your childhood with based on just your internet handle that you gave yourself in less than a second?

That's very funny...

CaliforniaDream

positron wrote: »

Yep, and there are very few foreign people in this thread. They are the ones who gets offended by this question.

I'm a foreigner where I live. I don't get offended by this question and I get asked daily.

And for all of you commenting you didn't mind someone asking you when you were went to Germany on a weekend trip or America for a month - please - you are missing a crucial point. Here it is.

The main difference is that the guy OP is referring to has been here for a very long time. He lives here, and has family and friends here, and he lives like everyone else here. And to him, he's like everyone else. However, to some others, he's different and from somewhere else!

This is not the same as someone asking where you are from when you are traveling. Imagine yourself living in say Melbourne for next 30 years. Over 30 years your life has moved on so much you are more Australian than Irish. You may still have a slightly different accent to rest of the Australians. When you visit Ireland, people would immediately think you are Aussie because you have a strong Aussie accent. Then, once day in Sydney, a random guy on the street asks you where you are from? You say Melbourne. And he's like, no where are you originally from? This is where you would get slightly annoyed. You are by all measures and standards an Aussie. And this person is implying you are not.

But you are not an Aussie! You were born in Ireland and moved to Australia in this example. You may be an Australian citizen but you are Irish. Someone asking you where you're really from is correct. Because you are really from Ireland. How is this rude? He's not implying anything. You were born in Ireland therefore you're Irish. You may have moved and lived more of your life in Australia but that doesn't mean you're Australian. Was Michael Jackson white?

If you find the above hard to digest, just imagine skin color or other features instead of accent. And then forget about first generation immigrants - think of their children, a lot of them are in their teens or twenties now here in Ireland. They know very little of the country of their parent's origin, and while their biological make up is part or not at all Irish, they grew up here and know nothing else. And imagine how it would feel when someone walks up to them, and without the usual pleasantries, goes straight to 'where are you from?'.

The children may not know anything about where their parents come from but what's wrong with them saying 'I'm Irish but my parents come from X, that's why I have a slight accent/different skin colour/whatever.'

It's rude people, it is rude. And those who don't understand why it's rude, hasn't been to, or can not imagine their situation. It is rude to ask it to a stranger without the usual pleasantries. It's fine to ask if it's after a few minutes of usual chat and friendly banter. That's all.

/Thread please!

It's not rude! You're extremely sensitive about this for some reason. But that's your issues, not everyone else being rude. As I said, I have been/am in this situation. It's a simple question without any malice behind it. Perhaps you're sick of being asked but again, that's your problem not the person who asked.

I can't fathom some of the responses here. This is such a common question asked in probably most countries. It's almost like asking 'How are you?' Or is that rude too. Since you don't know the person why should you dare ask how they are?

Grow up people. You sound ridiculous.