Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Magic Eight Ball

"ANOTHER SUNNY HAPPY MONDAY MORNING FACEBOOKERS & IM TIRED.COM"

I got this gem in my news feed last Monday. Enough to make you wanna slap a newborn!

Status updates are meant to be funny, clever and filled with completely useless information.
Depressing status updates wreck my head. I don’t give a flying **** that you just don’t know if you can live this life anymore!!

TheBunk1

Any variation of "X is bored/tried/wrecked.com
Nite all/facebook...
X just checked in at...home (who gives a fuck? Maybe if you checked in at Caesar's Palace in Vegas then fair enough I might be interested)

123balltv

I think facebook brings out depression in a lot of people

some of those status comments are very sad :mad:

Dudess

There's some right two-faced spinelessness on this thread. I'll admit there are sometimes statuses which I think are pointless and silly, and to be fair, some people whom you add, you don't realise they're going to be posting crappy updates - and you might still like them a lot otherwise. But if you're going to be as full of sheer venom towards them as some of the posts here - clearly some of you really dislike the people in question - then just grow a pair and delete them.

maglite

Orando Broom wrote: »

I know someone who qualified as a chiropractor and created a facebook profile with Dr. in front of their name.

You're a bonesetter you crazy ****! You're two degrees separated from a shamen or a juju man!

Evidentially 2 degrees and a PHD

petes

I posted "My girlfriend told me she's leaving me as I was too perverted...I nearly choked on her ****e when she told me"

Some people didn't like it. I hide any people that post drivel.

I don't mind facebook though.

Luxie

123balltv wrote: »

I think facebook brings out depression in a lot of people

some of those status comments are very sad :mad:

I read somewhere that too much internettage can cause depression or even agrophobia in people.

keano_afc

I have a friend who posts the same thing every Friday and Monday.

Friday: "Weekend! Going out tomorrow, cant wait!"
Monday: "Ah that weekend was too fast! Cant believe its Monday already!"

Sometimes she'll throw little hangover updates in on Sunday. Its riveting stuff.

diddlybit

Personally hate ones like: Warning: The Group "Mammies and Daddies that Love Their Children" is actually a paedophile group trying to get access to the photos of your children. DON'T JOIN THIS GROUP

Firstly, no paedophile is thick enough to use FB to get access to photos.

Secondly, why would you join such a group anyway, it would just turn into a frightful discussion of how great your awful spawn are.

Thirdly, if you are so bloody worried, don't post a gadzillion photos of your kids on facebook. Problem solved.

Also hate: Change your profile to a favourite childhood cartoon to help stop child abuse.

Eh, no. It won't.

Orando Broom

diddlybit wrote: »

Personally hate ones like: Warning: The Group "Mammies and Daddies that Love Their Children" is actually a paedophile group trying to get access to the photos of your children. DON'T JOIN THIS GROUP

Firstly, no paedophile is thick enough to use FB to get access to photos.

Secondly, why would you join such a group anyway, it would just turn into a frightful discussion of how great your awful spawn are.

Thirdly, if you are so bloody worried, don't post a gadzillion photos of your kids on facebook. Problem solved.

Also hate: Change your profile to a favourite childhood cartoon to help stop child abuse.

Eh, no. It won't.

I posted a picture of Battle Cat and the next day Michael Jackson was found calved at the foot of his bed. Now tell me that it doesn't ****ing work.

diddlybit

Orando Broom wrote: »

I posted a picture of Battle Cat and the next day Michael Jackson was found calved at the foot of his bed. Now tell me that it doesn't ****ing work.

I stand corrected. The power of childhood cartoons is immeasurable.

TanG411

I deleted* mine about three months ago. What I can remember is the stupid statuses like "OMG got LOOOOOCKLED last nite and SOOOO hungova!" and then a load of likes for it. Those comments were too annoying.

Then friends who would leave a message on your wall about a question that should really be answered within 10 minutes. Log on 16 hours later to another message, "Why didn't you answer me!". That tipped it over the edge.

* If you go to the help section in the bottom right of the screen, you can find out how to delete your account permanently.

Orando Broom

diddlybit wrote: »

I stand corrected. The power of childhood cartoons is immeasurable.

Immeasurable. :Harumph Smiley:

Aishae

i did the cartoon thing but mainly cos i got the chance to use a catdog pic :cool:

gargleblaster

I don't know what simpleton decided to attach some drivel about child abuse to the cartoon thing. Before that nonsense started I got a message that it was just to make facebook into a big reminder of our favorite cartoons and that's all it was.

I have one of those chatty moms, this morning's gem: "Soooo tired today!!!! I need coffee or something!!! LOL"

I don't get upset by any of this stuff though, and don't understand why anyone would. It's just not that important, and it's so easy to hide, defriend someone, or just stop using facebook.

jetpack101

This topic has me in stiches,
Every post I read made someone spring to mind

I dont post often to facebook but when I do it's normally a funny video or picture.

The one thing I hate is (NAME ) has just given you a brick on farm ville
Aghh

parmaviolet

Oh god the holiday updates. So annoying... and speaking of people talking on facebook while they're away, I know two girls who while on holidays TOGETHER sent eachother comments on facebook

"lookin good on that sun lounger!"
"haha those cocktails last night were a mistake lol!"
"<Insert name> has the funniest sunburn!"

SHUT. UP.

Orando Broom

jetpack101 wrote: »

This topic has me in stiches,
Every post I read made someone spring to mind

I dont post often to facebook but when I do it's normally a funny video or picture.

The one thing I hate is (NAME ) has just given you a brick on farm ville
Aghh

At last we've found the arbiter of funny!

All hail our new overlord.

anndub

"im not beautiful or gorgeous i haven't got an amazing figure or a flat stomach. im far from being considered model material but I'm me. I eat junk food and love to wear my PJ's and no make- up around the house. I'm random and crazy. And I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, love me or not. I can't change me ♥"

Yes you can, stop being a fat slob.

Fukuyama

Reading this thread has just made me decide to stop using Facebook for a month or so. Just to get a break and see if lifes worth living without the useless drivel.

I wrote down some random letters and numbers. Changed my password to it. Ripped up the page. That should stop me having INSTANT access and it's too much of a pain in the arse to change the password through mobile verification or whatever.

I actually feel kinda good.

STIG83

After seeing this thread i decided to look at one of my hidden FB friends to see what they were saying in their status, im so happy you can hide people!! the stupid pointless stuff that was there, "only 2 days to go"
giving out about their car!!
Attention seeking idiots!! :mad:

mehfesto

I though *Winning* was as bad as it got until last week:

"OMG. I was so into The Script before they got mainstream. I was at their first gig! (she wasn't) Now everyone likes them because they're on the radio! Grr!"

Dwellingdweller

anndub wrote: »

"im not beautiful or gorgeous i haven't got an amazing figure or a flat stomach. im far from being considered model material but I'm me. I eat junk food and love to wear my PJ's and no make- up around the house. I'm random and crazy. And I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, love me or not. I can't change me ♥"

Yes you can, stop being a fat slob.

Love it when silly bints put this bollix up on FB, gives me a laugh everytime :')

RxQueen

mehfesto wrote: »

I though *Winning* was as bad as it got until last week:

"OMG. I was so into The Script before they got mainstream. I was at their first gig! (she wasn't) Now everyone likes them because they're on the radio! Grr!"

Before they were mainstream?! eh when were they every anything but mainstream!

RxQueen

RxQueen wrote: »

Before they were mainstream?! eh when were they every anything but mainstream!

Girl on my facebook , updates her status at the very least about 7 times a day..

this morning it was " mmmm toast xxx " ... shut the **** up, why the **** the xx and why the winky face , you knob

I hid her before , but we haveclose friends in commen and didnt want to fall out over a stupid thing like facebook so I place her back on the news feed before she realised.

Now i just put smart assed replies to all her pointless stuff, so hopefully that will stop her from posting them

STIG83

RxQueen wrote: »

Girl on my facebook , updates her status at the very least about 7 times a day..

this morning it was " mmmm toast xxx " ... shut the **** up, why the **** the xx and why the winky face , you knob

I hid her before , but we haveclose friends in commen and didnt want to fall out over a stupid thing like facebook so I place her back on the news feed before she realised.

Now i just put smart assed replies to all her pointless stuff, so hopefully that will stop her from posting them

If you hide someone they wont know that or am i wrong?

RxQueen

I thought they would, so thats why i said I better un hide her.... but if she didnt know that would be fantastic, i mean would she be able to see what i post on our friends pages, cause if she could then thats grand, save me looking at her tripe

El Weirdo

STIG83 wrote: »

If you hide someone they wont know that or am i wrong?

No. They don't know.

STIG83

RxQueen wrote: »

I thought they would, so thats why i said I better un hide her.... but if she didnt know that would be fantastic, i mean would she be able to see what i post on our friends pages, cause if she could then thats grand, save me looking at her tripe

I have a load of people hidden on mine and never got any aggro for it,so hide people away to your hearts content.
She will still see what you post on her newsfeed. Unless she hids you.
I think she will see what you post on your friends pages.

tommy89

BickNarry wrote: »

Not a week goes by without this happening..........

Love the way you have the hide all posts in that picture..:D

There is a website called lamebook that has loads of these