Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Pawwed Rig

samapple789 wrote: »

From a dating site

Hi. I'm a mom to a beautiful 3 year old girl & I'm also 4 months pregnant on my second baby

WTF ?

I think it is important to know how long she's been on the date site

BaZmO*

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I think it is important to know how long she's been on the date site

I think the important thing to know is that she puts out.

Mr. CooL ICE

I always hold my faith wen d heart know another heart it will always be d heart u no wen u no a heart ,it means more so proud ta hold on to my dignity Nd faith tme is a healer tme will heal so proud wher I stand for being placid head strong faith nd luv real pple stand strong. to luv faith nd dignity

shruikan2553

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

How much faith could a faith heart faith if a faith heart could heart faith?

yellowlabrador

Am I allowed to pause wile reading that?........ Breathless

ArtyM

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

That actually makes just as much/little sense when read backwards as it does forwards.

Liam McPoyle

They should rename Purple Rain as "Weird Jealous Rat Boy" and the film would still make sense.

.

PrettyBoy

This lad has come up on my news feed a few times this week and I can't help but wonder is this the young fella that used to sing on Grafton Street in Dublin about ~10 years ago?? He would've been about 12 at the time I think and he shares a resemblance with the lad in the video, anyone know if it's him?

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=568190133291432

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=569053623205083&permPage=1

fussyonion

There's a girl on my timeline who's pregnant and she uses FB to ask every Goddamn question you can think of.

"Is it OK to use paracetamol if you're pregnant?"
Instead of being told to Google, she's hit with tons of replies, all ending in "Hope ur ok hunzo."

Twenty minutes later she's back: "Anyone know if it's OK to use fake tan?"
Another barrage of replies.

An hour later: "Does anyone know what time Dundrum shopping Centre is open til tonight?"

GOOGLE FFS. GOOGLE.

PrettyBoy

fussyonion wrote: »

An hour later: "Does anyone know what time Dundrum shopping Centre is open til tonight?"

GOOGLE FFS. GOOGLE.

It's truly beyond me why people do that - ask a question on Facebook and wait for their friends to answer it instead of using Google and getting the answer instantly

sligojoek

fussyonion wrote: »

There's a girl on my timeline who's pregnant and she uses FB to ask every Goddamn question you can think of.

"Is it OK to use paracetamol if you're pregnant?"
Instead of being told to Google, she's hit with tons of replies, all ending in "Hope ur ok hunzo."

Twenty minutes later she's back: "Anyone know if it's OK to use fake tan?"
Another barrage of replies.

An hour later: "Does anyone know what time Dundrum shopping Centre is open til tonight?"

GOOGLE FFS. GOOGLE.

"Does anyone know where I can buy a twin buggy?"

coffee_cake

PrettyBoy wrote: »

This lad has come up on my news feed a few times this week and I can't help but wonder is this the young fella that used to sing on Grafton Street in Dublin about ~10 years ago?? He would've been about 12 at the time I think and he shares a resemblance with the lad in the video, anyone know if it's him?

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=568190133291432

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=569053623205083&permPage=1

That does look like him!!

HurtLocker

"Women is in a relationship with Man"

Comment : Well at least I pulled you before you made it official.

coolhull

PrettyBoy wrote: »

This lad has come up on my news feed a few times this week and I can't help but wonder is this the young fella that used to sing on Grafton Street in Dublin about ~10 years ago?? He would've been about 12 at the time I think and he shares a resemblance with the lad in the video, anyone know if it's him?

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=568190133291432

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=569053623205083&permPage=1

Judging by the number of teeth he has left in his head, I would suspect that he doesn't win fights very often

Tetra

"There’s one piece of advice circulating around the blog-o-sphere that’s particularly annoying: You should love being single. It’s not enough to be okay being single while you try to meet people. No, you should love it.

Here are some of the best reasons why: You get to go on endless first dates at fun places. You don’t have to deal with in-laws or a partner’s messy kitchen habits. You don’t have to shave or wear nice underwear. Wondering what to order for dinner or pick on Netflix? It’s your choice every time. And you get the bed all to yourself!

That’s because your relationship status shouldn’t influence whether or not you enjoy your life. You have to learn how to be happy on your own because you can never depend on another person to supply your joy. Plus, no matter how blessed you are with friends, family and significant others, there are going to be times when you’re staring into the abyss of a solo Sunday. It’s an important life skill to figure out how to be content with your own company.

But that doesn’t mean you have to love it.

There’s a big difference between making the best of your single years and pretending you’re happy with life as a “me” when you really want to be part of a “we.” There are some people who are “single by choice,” and they really prefer their freedom over negotiating with another person. But taken to the extreme, some sellers of singledom actually make you feel guilty if you just want to share your life with someone – as if wanting romance, intimacy and closeness were traits of the dependent and desperate.

What if you could freely admit that you want a sweetie? Maybe you could even break every relationship advice rule and say you need one. Yes, some days you’re impressively self-sufficient and can live in the now and take comfort in all the other blessings in your life. But on other days you crave companionship and affection. You can’t stand the idea of eating one more burrito bowl at Chipotle by yourself for dinner. You’d trade the ability to sleep diagonally across your bed by yourself for the pleasure of waking up next to someone. You’ll gladly watch his TV shows or her kids’ soccer games just to spend time with someone who gets your jokes, laughs at your quirks and knows just where to nuzzle your neck.

There’s something refreshing about meeting people who wear their hearts on their sleeve and actually say that they long to share their lives with someone special. It’s honest. It’s vulnerable. It’s human."

amacca

Tetra wrote: »

"There’s one piece of advice circulating around the blog-o-sphere that’s particularly annoying: You should love being single. It’s not enough to be okay being single while you try to meet people. No, you should love it.

Here are some of the best reasons why: You get to go on endless first dates at fun places. You don’t have to deal with in-laws or a partner’s messy kitchen habits. You don’t have to shave or wear nice underwear. Wondering what to order for dinner or pick on Netflix? It’s your choice every time. And you get the bed all to yourself!

That’s because your relationship status shouldn’t influence whether or not you enjoy your life. You have to learn how to be happy on your own because you can never depend on another person to supply your joy. Plus, no matter how blessed you are with friends, family and significant others, there are going to be times when you’re staring into the abyss of a solo Sunday. It’s an important life skill to figure out how to be content with your own company.

But that doesn’t mean you have to love it.

There’s a big difference between making the best of your single years and pretending you’re happy with life as a “me” when you really want to be part of a “we.” There are some people who are “single by choice,” and they really prefer their freedom over negotiating with another person. But taken to the extreme, some sellers of singledom actually make you feel guilty if you just want to share your life with someone – as if wanting romance, intimacy and closeness were traits of the dependent and desperate.

What if you could freely admit that you want a sweetie? Maybe you could even break every relationship advice rule and say you need one. Yes, some days you’re impressively self-sufficient and can live in the now and take comfort in all the other blessings in your life. But on other days you crave companionship and affection. You can’t stand the idea of eating one more burrito bowl at Chipotle by yourself for dinner. You’d trade the ability to sleep diagonally across your bed by yourself for the pleasure of waking up next to someone. You’ll gladly watch his TV shows or her kids’ soccer games just to spend time with someone who gets your jokes, laughs at your quirks and knows just where to nuzzle your neck.

There’s something refreshing about meeting people who wear their hearts on their sleeve and actually say that they long to share their lives with someone special. It’s honest. It’s vulnerable. It’s human."

I think most of the advice given out is total bolox tbh

1: "Be yourself": hmmmmm I am myself, who the **** else would I be?…who do you think I've been all this time?…a me impersonator?

(Problem is being myself isn't getting me who I want so I probably should pretend at least for a while to be somebody else and see how it goes at least, it couldn't hurt, I could pretend to be someone much more interesting than i really am - wait, isn't that what most people on Facebook are doing anyway?)

2: "You have to love yourself" : But I do, I think I'm ****ing great, problem is the occasional person I'm interested in doesn't share those feelings despite how much I love myself - I'm thinking of trying hating myself for a while…see how that goes


3: "It'll happen when you're not looking for it" :Most of the time I'm not- It hasn't happened……..Do i have to train myself to consistently not look for it 100% of the time for this to work?

4: "You're not meeting someone because you're not putting yourself out there" : Now hold on a ****ing second here, I thought I wasn't supposed to be proactive about this thing - which is it to ****? Should I look for it or not?

5: "You're too picky" OK I'll just pop off and get a brain/personality transplant so I can find people physically attractive I simply don't - then we can get married and attempt to have kids - I'm sure Ill be able to stick that with my new/rewired brain

etc etc

I find it better not to listen to anyone and do your own thing…..people when it comes to this stuff are inconsistent at best…I think they just say/type things much like a parrot would……treat them as you would a parrot, make up your own mind and you'll get on fine imo

shruikan2553

Stop tagging your friends in the comments you inbred idiots. See beside like and comment is says "Share"? Click on that.

dar100

Has anyone seen the latest nomination on FB?

Women wearing their tightest yoga type pants, and, wait for it, grabbing them selfs by the camel and pinching the flaps together it into the camera lol, I **** you not

BaZmO*

dar100 wrote: »

Has anyone seen the latest nomination on FB?

Women wearing their tightest yoga type pants, and, wait for it, grabbing them selfs by the camel and pinching the flaps together it into the camera lol, I **** you not

It's not real though. It's just a p1ss take

dar100

BaZmO* wrote: »

It's not real though. It's just a p1ss take

God dam it, that's my creeping plan out the window:)

Are you sure? I may have seen some people nominated for it

BaZmO*

dar100 wrote: »

God dam it, that's my creeping plan out the window:)

Are you sure? I may have seen some people nominated for it

Just because someone has been nominated doesn't make it a 'thing'

Fakman87

I'm in a betting group on facebook and in general the Scottish lads on there spell atrociously but this guy is the worst:

"Rite fook this. So far the day ave spent a fortune oon hir and goat nought fur masell. So am gonny dae a **** it challenge fur masell tae see how for a kin go. Am just sticking tae last 10 mins of a match either 1st or 2nd half hopefully get no bad odds then. Once ave made 3 or 3 in a row will collect half and carry oon. First up near 7 bells."

I actually get chest pains trying to read his statuses.

dar100

BaZmO* wrote: »

Just because someone has been nominated doesn't make it a 'thing'

Of course it makes it a thing, how do you suppose these things get started ?

One person nominates another and it gathers pace. It has a name, a purpose and a rational.

All it's lacking is people following through. So yeah it's a thing, it even has capital letters:)

Clankatron

Fakman87 wrote: »

I'm in a betting group on facebook and in general the Scottish lads on there spell atrociously but this guy is the worst:

"Rite fook this. So far the day ave spent a fortune oon hir and goat nought fur masell. So am gonny dae a **** it challenge fur masell tae see how for a kin go. Am just sticking tae last 10 mins of a match either 1st or 2nd half hopefully get no bad odds then. Once ave made 3 or 3 in a row will collect half and carry oon. First up near 7 bells."

I actually get chest pains trying to read his statuses.

Not as hard to read if you've read "Trainspotting".

Bang_Bang

Tis hard alright, especially trying to work out what the fook is on about.

Wilberto

Fakman87 wrote: »

"Rite fook this. So far the day ave spent a fortune oon hir and goat nought fur masell. So am gonny dae a **** it challenge fur masell tae see how for a kin go. Am just sticking tae last 10 mins of a match either 1st or 2nd half hopefully get no bad odds then. Once ave made 3 or 3 in a row will collect half and carry oon. First up near 7 bells."

"Right, damn this. So far today I have spent a fortune on here and got nothing for myself. So, I am going to do another challenge for myself and see how far I can go. I am just sticking to the last ten minutes of a match, either first or second half, so hopefully I won't get any bad odds then. Once I have made three, or three in a row, I will collect half and carry on."


I have no idea what "First up near 7 bells" means!

Bang_Bang

Wilberto wrote: »

I have no idea what "First up near 7 bells" means!

Either 7 o' Clock or she'd like 7 bells, if you know what I mean

ivytwine

Fakman87 wrote: »

I'm in a betting group on facebook and in general the Scottish lads on there spell atrociously but this guy is the worst:

"Rite fook this. So far the day ave spent a fortune oon hir and goat nought fur masell. So am gonny dae a **** it challenge fur masell tae see how for a kin go. Am just sticking tae last 10 mins of a match either 1st or 2nd half hopefully get no bad odds then. Once ave made 3 or 3 in a row will collect half and carry oon. First up near 7 bells."

I actually get chest pains trying to read his statuses.

I work in customer support for a betting company. Imagine having to read emails and live chats like that EVERY DAY. No wonder I'm going grey :P

Fakman87

Wilberto wrote: »

"Right, damn this. So far today I have spent a fortune on here and got nothing for myself. So, I am going to do another challenge for myself and see how far I can go. I am just sticking to the last ten minutes of a match, either first or second half, so hopefully I won't get any bad odds then. Once I have made three, or three in a row, I will collect half and carry on."


I have no idea what "First up near 7 bells" means!

Bravo man, I feel like you deserve a prize for deciphering that!

Fakman87

ivytwine wrote: »

I work in customer support for a betting company. Imagine having to read emails and live chats like that EVERY DAY. No wonder I'm going grey :P

Haha my heart goes out to you, it's the most bizarre thing I've seen. Like text speak on steroids.