Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

wnolan1992

Exhibit A in the "Frapes Haven't Been Funny in About Four Years" case...

U Have Been Fraped my Dear, I cudnt resist as u were signed in on da blackberry love u lots Kedd xxxxx — at Frape Village

joeguevara

"Bought a new thesaurus today. Nothing to write house about!"

spankysue

No facebook for the weekend!!! Byeeeee!!!!!

So you go on Facebook to tell everyone that you won't be on Facebook for the weekend. :rolleyes:

Tetra

"Ok if this guy don't stop looking at me like he is gonna eat me imma kick em in throat!!!
Hate going places alone!!!"

Tetra

And from someone else:

"Flaming had enuff some stupid vile block sitting opposite staring at me, wanker... I complained m moved ... ****in pervy ass wipe"

Quazzie

"Woohoo police coming round tomoro better be fit lol"

Sinfonia

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Exhibit A in the "Frapes Haven't Been Funny in About Four Years" case...

Haha!
Reminds of an SNL sketch where Jeff Bridges has a Punk'd style show called Jeff'd.
He basically sets up a practical joke and rather than waiting, a la Ashton, pretty much immediately shows up!
Hard to convey in writing, unfortunately this is the only vid I could find:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqwiIapCAe8

XxMCRxBabyxX

This picture has been liked by a few of my friends tonight. It's a sweet story and I really feel for that girl and her boyfriend/family (if true) but I just thought that this comment was well suited to here:

Touchn story... Brot tears 2 me eyes... Plain 2 c ur obviously SWEETHEARTS... Kev u restored me faith n men... Til 2 mins ago I tot dey wer all animals... Amazn girl... Fite... Cnt rem d name bt I tot a d song 'keep smiln, keep shinin... Knowing u can alws count on me coz da's Wa friends r 4... (no it.???) its Amazon Wa positive tinkn an wel wishn can do... So it n me prayers an tots an I luk 4ward 2 hearn d nx gr8 update... Lotsa luv Cinderella I'm so hapy u wnt 2 d ball an njoyd urself... U deserve many mor nites lik da.... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It has all the elements of a "U OK hun" pisstake but I have this bad feeling that the author may be a real person...

XxMCRxBabyxX

coolhull wrote: »

Now, if only we knew someone who could teach her how to write properly

I'm really not sure what this is meant to mean?

Tetra

"i hate it when girls post pics of themselves with only half of there face in the pic because they aren't pretty enough to show there whole face"

Tetra

"Contractions are so much fun"

Festy

Nice to kno u sick **** lol condoms we're first made wiv da skin round saussage saussage skin an dey wernt use a contraceptive dey were to help keep da dick clean wen a woman was on d rag I'm weak laughing u learn sumtin new everyday

:pac:

Lisha

Tetra wrote: »

"Contractions are so much fun"

Night feeds will blow her mind so !

yerwanthere123

Festy wrote: »

Nice to kno u sick **** lol condoms we're first made wiv da skin round saussage saussage skin an dey wernt use a contraceptive dey were to help keep da dick clean wen a woman was on d rag I'm weak laughing u learn sumtin new everyday

:pac:

Think my eyes might need an exorcism after trying to read that

wnolan1992

Festy wrote: »

Nice to kno u sick **** lol condoms we're first made wiv da skin round saussage saussage skin an dey wernt use a contraceptive dey were to help keep da dick clean wen a woman was on d rag I'm weak laughing u learn sumtin new everyday

:pac:

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Think my eyes might need an exorcism after trying to read that

"For all you dirty minded people out there, it is both interesting and amusing to note the following:

Condoms were first manufactured out of skin and were wrapped around the man's erect penis not as a contraceptive device, but rather to keep the penis clean when the woman was menstruating.

I'm laughing rather hard here having just discovered this. I guess you learn something new every day."

coolhull

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I'm really not sure what this is meant to mean?

Sorry, I posted that in the wrong thread. Apologies..,

yerwanthere123

wnolan1992 wrote: »

"For all you dirty minded people out there, it is both interesting and amusing to note the following:

Condoms were first manufactured out of skin and were wrapped around the man's erect penis not as a contraceptive device, but rather to keep the penis clean when the woman was menstruating.

I'm laughing rather hard here having just discovered this. I guess you learn something new every day."

Fair play for translating all that. You have a gift.

MonkstownHoop

Liverpool win!! Hapi ou!! Now 4 d dubs!! Coybib!

Pherekydes

**** al u mank ***** supper pool wat a win — feeling wonderful.

My own nephew. Oh the shame.

Tetra

"FACEBOOK !!!!!! has been changing all my settings..... found out through The White Hart........ knew it !!!!!!!!!!!! they are screwing with all our accounts... they make changes..we don't get notified......... be careful everyone....... all your private stuff is accessed n given to others..that's why they don't 'charge' us..they has sold us........................................................ BEWARE !!!!!!!!!!!! NO BULL**** !!!!!!!!!"

MrStuffins

I'm not sure about the tin poil hat brigade but I know that my profile is set to private, everything is hidden from those not on my friends list.

But about once a month the setting gets changed somehow, not by me, and stuff is public. It's extremely annoying and I don't know what causes it!

saltyjack silverblade

OMG XFactor is on!

redtapestyl

So from my facebook news feed for today I learned 2 important things,

1) Liverpool won
then
2) Dublin won

yerwanthere123

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

OMG XFactor is on!

Nt watchin dat diz yr, its all a fix!!!!1

danslevent

"even wen i am not in you life you still think ya can have a say in mine !!! im done with all your crazy **** and the more people u get involved it will backfire trust me !!!!!!!!!!
if you really wanna keep pissing me off go ahead !! cos i can b alot worse jus so ya kno i know stuff to remember !! lets see how long it takes this tym for you t b lookin at my page or atleast someone will for ya eh"

Fool.

My favourite bit "I know stuff to remember"

Driveby Dogboy

"Even when i am not in your life, you still think you can have a say in mine! I'm done with all your crazy sh¡t, and the more people you get involved in this, it will backfire, trust me!
If you really want to keep pissing me off go ahead, because I can be a lot worse, just so you know. I know stuff too, remember? Let's see how long it takes this time for you to be looking at my page, or at least someone will for you, eh?"

You're welcome!

yerwanthere123

danslevent wrote: »

"even wen i am not in you life you still think ya can have a say in mine !!! im done with all your crazy **** and the more people u get involved it will backfire trust me !!!!!!!!!!
if you really wanna keep pissing me off go ahead !! cos i can b alot worse jus so ya kno i know stuff to remember !! lets see how long it takes this tym for you t b lookin at my page or atleast someone will for ya eh"

Fool.

My favourite bit "I know stuff to remember"

"Who you talking about hun? xx"
"Can't say on here xx"

Sleepy

From a friend who wouldn't usually miss an EP:

"X factor is back! and all you suckers are at ep."

Made me laugh anyway...

princess-lala

Finaly got down to pennys to get me sum clothes dat fits Getn hair done thursday il b a new woman at d weeknd. Notin like a bita pampern wen ya preg makes ya feel dat lil bit betr haha :0)))

Same girl has been begging people to bring her to penneys for 4 days :rolleyes:

cantdecide

Suggested Like on my news feed:


CPM Ireland

We're Hiring!!

If you have a positive attitude, excellent interpersonal skills and self-motivation, then this role is for you.

You will need a driving license and your own car!

Join our Award Winning Sales Team. We are hiring 70 Field Sales Representatives Nationwide. €25K basic + Uncapped Commission + Car Allowance + Lunch Allowance + Mobile phone.

Apply Via our Facebook Page Send us a message with your name, location and contact number and we will call you back. Alternatively call 1800 27 47 37 or email recruitment@cpmire.com






Comments that follow include;

Dave ******** : Fun, bubbly, outgoing, self-starter, self-motivated, keen, enthusiastic, driven, no experience needed, full training given, passion for sales, passion for people, passion for results, passion for getting dry-****ed up the bum when you don't meet your targets after a week or two and spat out into the gutter by yet another impersonal, bureaucratic-styled, outsourced sales agency......very convincing pics posted though, typical recruitment advertising propaganda....

Simon ****** : i suppose i would have to pay my own petrol and wages.

Gerard ****** : trying to sell eircom contracts!! no thanks don't like door being slammed in me face not for all the money in the world