Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

shruikan2553 · 22-08-2013 12:12AM

sinead88 wrote: »

Right, this is a long one but well worth the read. It's an album description from a girl who constantly has updates similar to this one. Her page provides endless entertainment.

"wel wat can i say, nva laughed so much in my life, 3am start, 2 hrs sleep, in airport 1st drink at 5am, boarding at 6.25am stil drinking at 6.05am , running about 3 miles to catch plane, last ppl on, every1 seated and seat belts on, last 5 fools holding the plane up lol, gr8 start,using the tube, wrg train, wrg platform finally got used to it lol , bit of sightseeing, bus tour around London, Westminster abbey picture picure "oh ****e dats d parliament" lol, thanks christine lol, we wer rigt feckin tourists, Buckingham palace, got bk on bus 4 HOURS l8tr stil on bus, 3 full same tour round , stil on d bus, we know al d history stil, cud of taking a job on the bus, we knew so much by end, checked into hotel, wrg room, nu room in basement 2 PLUGS in room lol, birthday dinner, few drinks, photos in fone boxes, walking miles looking for club, met a luvly cork man, raining, hme to bed, up early, London dungeons 2 hrs queuing, plenty of scares and spooks, water, luvly ride in the end, heart pumping, looking for food, walking, mor westminister abbey mor Buckingham palace, mor walking, mor tube, rest in hotel, got ready for session, shoulder vodka, bttle of wine in hotel, drinking on tube, very classy, oxford street, SOHO, dinner, clubbing, lights on a 1am, al ovr, out on the st, move to nu club, 2 miles away, 200 ppl walking to nu club, queuing, taking ages, very posh club, rappers ordering bttles and bttls of grey goose vodka, sparklers flying, dancing, heat, sweating, mor dancing, 5 pound bttle of water (sick), taxi hme, tired nxt morning, checkout at 11am, mor walking, oxford st shopping, mor food good old english pie, tube to catch bus, 3/4 hrs waiting at bus stop, no bus, rang helpline, sud hav pre-booked return journey, panicking, 6.45pm, plane leaving at 8.30, no money, looking for atm, looking for currency exchange, flagged dwn taxi, 130pound taxi journey, arrived at 7.30, luvly taxi man, took 115pound, gav everythin we had n purse lol, running throw airport, security, 1 bag of liquids, pure ****e, body scanner, Christine bagged searched 3 times lol, walking to plane, queuing again, trying to fit bag n ryanair holder lol, stuck ," b grand", on plane, bk hme finally, so sad to leave, LONDON i wil b back wat a trip hehe — in London, England."

ahhhhhhh my eyes, they really feel sore after that. It's like a dogs thoughts when its having a walk.

Festy · 22-08-2013 12:19AM

Don't no whether to cry or ****in kill someone arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh ! May u die in ur ****in sleep I hate u so much fingers crossed u do then my life will b a lot lot ****in easier

Nice Girl

sinead88 · 22-08-2013 12:46AM

shruikan2553 wrote: »

ahhhhhhh my eyes, they really feel sore after that. It's like a dogs thoughts when its having a walk.

I know. There are numerous album titles which all go a little like that one. Punctuation be damned! This one contains over 300 photos after a 2 night stay. Ridiculous. Also this person has a degree....I worry for the Irish education system.

sinead88 · 22-08-2013 12:56AM

Here's another one sure while we're at it!

"reunion session, roadtrip 2 DUBLIN, nva laughed so much up d road aoife drivin eddie n d front seat (car sickness), early drinkin, flirtin, mojito, wine, beer, gunness, vodka, stiffy's, taxi 2 twn, hr away lol, dancin, chattin, laughin, free drink, pictures, copper face jacks, eddie rockets, free food, krystle, VIP, shiftin, drinkin, celeb's, house party, mor drinkin, men, mor shiftin, thrown out taxi hme, dumped man half way hme "get out of taxi", 6am, 1300e watch on my wrist, y do i hav a nu watch, AWKWARD MOMENT!!! return n d post 2morrow lol pain n our heads, breakfast, tea, hugs, goodbyes, roadtrip hme, dyin n car, roast dinner, feelin fine now, wat a nigt, wont 4got this n a long time, dublin is mad anothr session again guys

)"

EuskalHerria · 22-08-2013 01:17AM

Festy wrote: »

Don't no whether to cry or ****in kill someone arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh ! May u die in ur ****in sleep I hate u so much fingers crossed u do then my life will b a lot lot ****in easier

Nice Girl

Maybe she's reading a book about Hitler. Just hasn't got to the end to realise he's dead yet?

yerwanthere123 · 22-08-2013 01:35AM

sinead88 wrote: »

Here's another one sure while we're at it!

"reunion session, roadtrip 2 DUBLIN, nva laughed so much up d road aoife drivin eddie n d front seat (car sickness), early drinkin, flirtin, mojito, wine, beer, gunness, vodka, stiffy's, taxi 2 twn, hr away lol, dancin, chattin, laughin, free drink, pictures, copper face jacks, eddie rockets, free food, krystle, VIP, shiftin, drinkin, celeb's, house party, mor drinkin, men, mor shiftin, thrown out taxi hme, dumped man half way hme "get out of taxi", 6am, 1300e watch on my wrist, y do i hav a nu watch, AWKWARD MOMENT!!! return n d post 2morrow lol pain n our heads, breakfast, tea, hugs, goodbyes, roadtrip hme, dyin n car, roast dinner, feelin fine now, wat a nigt, wont 4got this n a long time, dublin is mad anothr session again guys )"

Can't attempt another one tonight. I'll try again tomorrow.

Ciaran511 · 22-08-2013 01:38AM

sinead88 wrote: »

Here's another one sure while we're at it!

"reunion session, roadtrip 2 DUBLIN, nva laughed so much up d road aoife drivin eddie n d front seat (car sickness), early drinkin, flirtin, mojito, wine, beer, gunness, vodka, stiffy's, taxi 2 twn, hr away lol, dancin, chattin, laughin, free drink, pictures, copper face jacks, eddie rockets, free food, krystle, VIP, shiftin, drinkin, celeb's, house party, mor drinkin, men, mor shiftin, thrown out taxi hme, dumped man half way hme "get out of taxi", 6am, 1300e watch on my wrist, y do i hav a nu watch, AWKWARD MOMENT!!! return n d post 2morrow lol pain n our heads, breakfast, tea, hugs, goodbyes, roadtrip hme, dyin n car, roast dinner, feelin fine now, wat a nigt, wont 4got this n a long time, dublin is mad anothr session again guys )"

this woman really sounds like my maths teacher (well I kinda hope this is a woman)

Sinfonia · 22-08-2013 02:48AM

To be honest, I don't mind those updates for some reason..!

Possibly because they remind me of Jean Ralphio from Parks & Rec

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlLyZEfGQIU

DipStick McSwindler · 22-08-2013 10:17AM

This post has been deleted.

spankysue · 22-08-2013 12:56PM

***(Baby) loving her new car seat #dimples #baby #dimples #carseat #happy #spoilt #daughter #mammy #daddy #love #you #forever

Facebook is not Twitter you fucking idiot!! :mad:

It doesn't even make any sense!

maximoose · 22-08-2013 12:59PM

spankysue wrote: »

Facebook is not Twitter you fucking idiot!! :mad:

It doesn't even make any sense!

I think you missed this

Still, doesn't make her any less of an idiot

spankysue · 22-08-2013 01:05PM

maximoose wrote: »

I think you missed this

Still, doesn't make her any less of an idiot

Yep, I did miss that

Wrecks my head though, especially when it makes zero sense. Dimples, baby, dimples, carseat, dafuq?

razorblunt · 22-08-2013 01:14PM

351 pages, lots of examples, not one example of people actually posting replies telling these numpties off.
First one to do it wins.

DipStick McSwindler · 22-08-2013 02:03PM

This post has been deleted.

razorblunt · 22-08-2013 02:11PM

IrishFeeney92 wrote: »

been there done that, will post a hilarious message I received a few weeks ago from a FB Slut I went to town on. She told me to jog on

I Replied with "Im not the one who needs a jog love "

Needless to say her reaction means I WON.

Ha nice!
I used to add my own replies to these kind of things, now it's just a hide (if the person is generally sound but annoying on FB) or a delete in drastic circumstances.

Newaglish · 22-08-2013 03:38PM

Someone on my Facebook just updated her status to wish her (sadly deceased) friend a happy birthday.

While at first glance it seems like a nice sentiment, in reality, it's an incredibly tacky way of garnering likes and "hope ur OK hun XX" type comments from people.

Edit: She did not die recently

Custardpi · 22-08-2013 08:39PM

"If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN number in reverse.
For example, if your pin number is 1234, then you would put in 4321. The ATM system recognizes that your PIN number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to the location. All ATM’s carry this emergency sequencer by law.
This information was recently broadcast on by Crime Stoppers however it is seldom used because people just don't know about it.
Please pass this along to everyone.
This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends".

This crap has been around for yonks, people still falling for it though. A quick google on it brings up Snopes.com as the top result.

rawn · 23-08-2013 03:19AM

Custardpi wrote: »

"If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN number in reverse.
For example, if your pin number is 1234, then you would put in 4321. The ATM system recognizes that your PIN number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to the location. All ATM’s carry this emergency sequencer by law.
This information was recently broadcast on by Crime Stoppers however it is seldom used because people just don't know about it.
Please pass this along to everyone.
This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends".

This crap has been around for yonks, people still falling for it though. A quick google on it brings up Snopes.com as the top result.

What if my pin number is 0000

Exactly.

Voodoomelon · 24-08-2013 12:41AM

Attention seeking or idiocy, you decide!

coolhull · 24-08-2013 12:44AM

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Attention seeking or idiocy, you decide!

Or total gobsh1te.

PizzamanIRL · 24-08-2013 01:37AM

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Attention seeking or idiocy, you decide!

Attention seeking.

So it took them 2 minutes to realise that no search results came up. Nobody commented or liked so they used that stupid excuse.

yerwanthere123 · 26-08-2013 12:26AM

"Sometimes I ask myself will I ever have a boyfriend...hhmmmm"

Appearing desperate over Facebook probably won't help

KKkitty · 26-08-2013 12:32AM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"Sometimes I ask myself will I ever have a boyfriend...hhmmmm"

Appearing desperate over Facebook probably won't help

You ok hun xx
PM me

yerwanthere123 · 26-08-2013 12:35AM

KKkitty wrote: »

You ok hun xx
PM me

Tanx hun. PM sent.
Nice to know who my reel friends r xxx

Teacher23 · 26-08-2013 12:40AM

I really enjoy the passive aggressive statuses, e.g. "X is sick ov peepul taken advantig wen all she duz is give. Well no mor. Don't cry ova peepul hu don't cry ova u" etc etc. Followed by the "are u mad at me Hun?" comment or the "PM me hun".