Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

irritablebaz

i hate the " i dont know why i bother anymore" posts. oh fark orf and top yourself then. or anyone writing "hun" or " babe" need to be messed up.

Super-Rush

Stop posting pictures of your fucking weather app.

We know what the weather is like.

ivytwine

coolhull wrote: »

I can't imagine Cass or Charlie getting mobbed on the streets of Adelaide!

Alf would get mobbed here!

December2012

ivytwine wrote: »

Alf would get mobbed here!

Strewth!

leggo

They say only god can judge me ,
I hope that's the case — at Chancery Street Court

Including the comment:

wt ya do bro dt waz me second hme d las few mmnths ha dump

Madzers.

Penn

"fukin cant sleep wit de heat!!! grrrr!!!"

(earlier that day)

"Lovin de sunshine! Woop woop beach hear I come!"

TheChevron

TheChevron wrote: »

Its by the same person who came out with this status:




I'm half leaning towards racist, although there is a real attempt at humour going on. There was another status that mentioned the word wogs[sic] during an Italian football match not so long ago.

Well that settles that, I'm actually fuming now.

My Biology class had a test yesterday and one of the questions was:

"Name something that is commonly found in cells"

Apparently, **** isn't the right answer...

What a plonker.

MrStuffins

TheChevron wrote: »

Well that settles that, I'm actually fuming now.



What a plonker.

I'm sorry but that's f*cking hilarious.

danger mouse

TheChevron wrote: »

Well that settles that, I'm actually fuming now.



What a plonker.

For **** sake would you not hit the delete button on this cretin.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

From a girl I used to be in college with. Unwashed underwear, socks, and the same clothes daily would sum her up. She's "misunderstood" and a "rock chick". Please just be an individual you guise.

http://tinypic.com/r/2eaqw09/5

Zombee

A few friends 'liked' this along with over 70 other people:

So after i nearly died from a sneezing attack from hay fever.I started thinking.Pollen is essentially "plant sperm".Therefore this makes hay fever an STD.Since no-one voluntarily takes in pollen,i have concluded that we are all being raped by trees

One comment:

Well , they do say that sneezing is like 1/8th of an orgasm.. so youre actually enjoying it... so technically , its not rape... we're all being shagged by trees

coolhull

Quote: So after i nearly died from a sneezing attack from hay fever. I started thinking.
[/B]


And after all this thinking, she figured out she was raped by trees? Maybe she should stop this 'thinking' lark.

EuskalHerria

A friend of mine just used the word technological. It was correctly used and spelt.

This probably means nothing to you all but if you see how she normally types (she usually uses her elbows to type Bebo style) and you would understand. She may never know how proud I am of her.

Ihatecuddles-old

Girl 1- how do you get more battery? is it dial 999?
Girl 2- you dial 911 , it says restoring connections, then you hang up.
Girl 1- it didn't work?
Girl 3 - you plug it in a charger.

Girl 1 again- wanting a long term relationship, never gonna happen

Girl 1 - like for marriage!

She's 14....she's absolutely brilliant for the laughs. Facebook gold. She had an argument last week with another girl, the other girl said she looked fat in her bikini photo that was her profile pic.

Cue her banging on about how she knows she's fat and she'll be single.forever, fishing for compliments in other words.

I've never even met her. SHe left a comment on meteors Facebook page saying she'd burn their gafs down if they changed their price plans. I said only in Ireland could you threaten a company and get a polite answer back. She added me and I had to accept after I looked at her profile.

efb

ivytwine wrote: »

Alf would get mobbed here!

I had my picture taken with Ray!

herisson

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Girl 1- how do you get more battery? is it dial 999?
Girl 2- you dial 911 , it says restoring connections, then you hang up.
Girl 1- it didn't work?
Girl 3 - you plug it in a charger.

Girl 1 again- wanting a long term relationship, never gonna happen

Girl 1 - like for marriage!

She's 14....she's absolutely brilliant for the laughs. Facebook gold. She had an argument last week with another girl, the other girl said she looked fat in her bikini photo that was her profile pic.

Cue her banging on about how she knows she's fat and she'll be single.forever, fishing for compliments in other words.

I hate this crap of fishing for compliments on Facebook. Before facebook, this girl used to do it all the time. "oh I'm so fat, no one will ever want me blah blah blah"

She started with it again one day in class so I turned around and told her if she is so unhappy about it why doesn't she do something about it instead of bitching and moaning about it. Her jaw dropped.

No surprises that at 23 she is still doing it on Facebook. :rolleyes:

LizT

jayous amount of eegits outside that hospital in london tonite, wen der a cow calving u get no1 to pull a calve

:pac:

miamee

Big congrats to all of d uk on d birth of der future king

Eh, right so...

yerwanthere123

" Congratz to my bestie Kate Midleton on the birth of my beautiful godson ♥ "

shruikan2553

Some crap keeps turning up about while we all pay attention to a royal baby, X amount of babies will be born into poverty and people comment on it bitching about how we shouldnt give the royal family any attention and they do nothing for their money (coming from someone who got pregnant in secondary school and considers full time mammy as a job)

Yet these same people would make a big deal about kim Kardashians baby. They didnt care about the "poor babies" yesterday and they wont tomorrow.

PizzamanIRL

How are ya meant to sleep in this heat?

Being on Facebook won't help.

PizzamanIRL

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Being on Facebook won't help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c

PizzamanIRL

Deleted User wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c

You posted that scarily quick. Were you just waiting ready to click paste?

PizzamanIRL

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

You posted that scarily quick. Were you just waiting ready to click paste?

No just excellent timing and being able to type and knowing keyboard shortcuts.

EDIT: I'll be honest, now that I've found it, the next few days on facebook I'm going to be ctrl+v-ing it a lot :P

wnolan1992

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Some crap keeps turning up about while we all pay attention to a royal baby, X amount of babies will be born into poverty and people comment on it bitching about how we shouldnt give the royal family any attention and they do nothing for their money (coming from someone who got pregnant in secondary school and considers full time mammy as a job)

Yet these same people would make a big deal about kim Kardashians baby. They didnt care about the "poor babies" yesterday and they wont tomorrow.

Dear god man, RUN! RUN AND HIDE!


:pac:

shruikan2553

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Dear god man, RUN! RUN AND HIDE!


:pac:

I wouldnt be surprised if that will make me a few friends tomorrow :P

Stereomaniac

What's tomorrow? Someone I know said on Facebook his baby monitor MIGHT not be working.

leggo

"Aw man...I want attention. Like loads of it. But I don't want the wrong kind of attention. Basically, that is, any attention from people I don't particularly like or fancy, or that don't like me. In short, I just want everyone I like to spend their days telling me that I'm ****ing great. That's not a lot to ask for, is it?!"
- Every 'model' on Facebook, ever.

fussyonion

Friend posted this:

"Fukin sik of de coverage of d royil baby y do we care, wer irish n proud n we dnt care wot two snobby tw*ts are doin, u shud b al asshamed of urselves buyin the paper just te luk at some snobby baby."

One of his friends pointed out that he was an avid Man U fan, and sure weren't they a British team? To which our lovely friend replied:

Yeh sure all the lads suport dem,dats different

Underneath these posts, he posts a picture of his own child and said:

Every1 luk at me boy, isnt he gorgejus, be lost witout him.

Someone replied: We don't wanna look at your baby, just like the royal baby

Lisha

I'm sorry but a special effort has to go in to spelling that badly.
Pudsie Ryan eat your heart out