Were you bullied?

Dudess

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

So many spectacular-looking red-headed women - e.g. Julianne Moore, Christina Hendricks, Isla Fisher. Anyone remember the 80s group T'Pau? Their lead singer was unreal! :eek:

starling.

Yes, but I didn't realise it at the time.

@ Laauren:

I'm so surprised by this red-haired thing, it's such a beautiful colour of hair.
The sad reality is that bullies will focus on any little thing that differentiates you from others. They're more than likely trying to deflect attention away from their own insecurities.

Don't let them get you down and tell someone, whether it be a parent, teacher, family member or friend. It's good to talk about things.

And don't be scared about moving to a new school. Lots of students do that and it can definitely work out for the better. If you think it will make you happier, go for it.

Laauren

starling. wrote: »

Yes, but I didn't realise it at the time.

@ Laauren:

I'm so surprised by this red-haired thing, it's such a beautiful colour of hair.
The sad reality is that bullies will focus on any little thing that differentiates you from others. They're more than likely trying to deflect attention away from their own insecurities.

Don't let them get you down and tell someone, whether it be a parent, teacher, family member or friend. It's good to talk about things.

And don't be scared about moving to a new school. Lots of students do that and it can definitely work out for the better. If you think it will make you happier, go for it.

Yeah well i never had a problem with red hair before this year really. People used to tell me it was gorgeous and I do like it but it does cause a lot of hassle. I wasn't always like this though.. I used to have friends and boyfriends. But all of a sudden they turned against me. Saying really mean stuff about me and all.
The good thing is I can talk to my mother about everything. I keep her updated and she tries to help me whenever she can. So I'm lucky that way
I'm starting to think that moving schools would be for the best alright I mean, im up at half one in the morning on boards! Can't sleep the thoughts of school Reassuring though to know I'm not the only one!:)

beks101

mariebeth wrote: »

I was never really bullied but secondary school was a horrible experience. I was in a class with girls that I just didn't have anything in common with, they were all in their little cliques and because I didn't change myself to fit in with them I could go whole days without one of them talking to me.

+1 to this. I was never bullied but didn't enjoy a minute of secondary school. It was a difficult personal time for me, made worse by the fact that I went to an all-girls secondary school and wasn't out-going, attention-seeking and crowd-loving.

I think that's the fundamental down-side about all-girls schools, IME anyway. The 'popular' kids tend to dominate. I'll never forget the cliques. In the school I went to, exclusion was a huge thing, and people forget that that's as traumatic a form of bullying as any other. I'll never forget the feelings of inadequacy I experienced because I was quiet, shy, studious, not a party animal and I know wasn't the only one.

I've only maintained contact with a handful of sec school friends, who would also have been 'on the outside' so to speak during those school days and they all say the same thing. None of us prospered or developed our sense of confidence at school because we never felt a part of the social experience of school and for all of us, life only really started after all that bullsh1t and once we reached college.

Funny thing is, I'm not a quiet person and neither are any of my school friends. We've all been quite successful, have new circles of friends, great social lives, careers, travelling the world...whereas we head home for a visit and see that the cliques are still the same, hanging out of each other, sharing the same boyfriends, frequenting the same places and their lives aren't really distinguishable from how it was ten years ago.

Sorry to go OT. I guess I'm just trying to point out to anyone who's struggling now - like the last poster, Laauren - that it can be an awkward and difficult time but it absolutely does not continue indefinitely, it will be over before you know it and life can change drastically overnight. And you'll be a stronger person for coming through it.

And being 'cool' in school...it essentially means nothing in the real world.

stacexD

I was bullied in 6th year by someone who used to be my friend and a new friend that she made who I had never even spoken to. The one who used to be my friend had actually just moved into my school in 5th year and everyone in our group welcomed her because she knew one of the girls. There were 6 of us in the group and when we came back from summer into 6th year all of a sudden that girl and another one just started sitting on the opposite side of the lunch room/class and stuff like that. Still don't know why. But anyway these 2 girls started would sit in the same lunch room as myself and my friends and sit by the door and when i passed would make comments loudly so i would hear, then laugh as loud as they could and point and laugh at me for literally all of lunch, stand by my locker between classes trying to intimidate me, put pictures of me on their own facebook pages in albums called the zoo etc with horrible things underneath, all their status' and comments between eachother would have a refference to me in it, when i passed them they would shove me and laugh, and towards the end of the year it turned into bigger things like writing on my locker, stealing things and actually reporting me for bullying them. The way I dealt with it was not going to school and for some reason I'd spend hours every day listening to green day (sounds stupid but it actually got me through the year). Anyway I moved to a different county for college to get away from it. The kicker was that my best friend from school who used to tell me to report it was fueling it all. Telling them stories about me and mocking me in classes they were in together. Course I didn't know that at the time and moved in with her for college this year. Now comes the nice bit, I realised what a wh*re she was, along with the 4 other people in the house and now I'm a lot more confident and don't entertain her, while she literally doesn't have a friend left here or at home bar her boyfriend (but she *somehow* still thinks she's the sh*t). Oh and as for the bullies, one is repeating her leaving because mocking me didn't come up on the LC and she didn't know anything else, and the other one dropped out of college after failing semester 1

Daisies

Wow, in comparison to some people here I was lucky.

While I wasn't bullied as such, I was teased throughout secondary school. I have red frizzy hair, glasses and worked hard in school. Some of the "popular" kids would make comments as I walked past, or would make smart comments to me in class. I just kept telling myself that those people, in years to come, would have amounted to nothing. And I was right.

To be honest, college was a hundred times better and I have friends for life who I miss everyday!

LegacyUser

I didn't have it near as bad as a lot of these stories. I had loads of friends all through primary school, and throughout secondary school I had a massive bunch of friends.
We were I suppose what some might call the stereotypical "cool kids", we had trendy clothes, hair and makeup, we were the type who smoked around the back of school, occasionally went into town dossing a class we didn't like, went "minker drinking" at the weekends, and would be "going out" with the best looking lads from the local boy's secondary school. We were an all girl's school, and our going out with these lads consisted of just "shifts" and someone to hold your hand walking down the road. Fairly innocent stuff, but they seemed like really "romantic relationships" at the time, ha ha..

Now I know most people seem to think or have experienced that it is "the cool kids" who are or become bullies, but I can honestly say that wasn't the case with my bunch of friends. It was a large school, and there were many different groups of friends. The thing is though, that from my experience everyone got along just fine. The very studious girls would light heartedly chide us for smoking or dossing a class, and we would laugh along. The girls who were big into their rock music would ask us listen to their favorite band's new songs on their cd or mp3 players. The goth type girls would tell us where they got their cool hair dyes for their streaks of hair color like red and pink streaks, which a few of my friends copied.
Myself and my friends were just very friendly and outgoing I suppose, and we all found it very easy to talk to and get along with everyone really.
I never once saw an incidence of bullying in my year during the early years, that's not to say there wasn't any though I suppose, but it would mean that if there was, it occurred between other groups with each other and wasn't anything to do with the stereotypical "cool kids".
[Btw, I know smoking and dossing is NOT cool, wish I never started, just saying if we were put into a stereotype group, that cool kids might be the name for it, I think we just a bit mischievous, and wanted to try new things]

In 5th year a new girl started hanging around with our group. She was very very loud, and would tell really funny stories about herself and sometimes her family. We all initially warmed to her as she was quite loud and really was like a comedienne of sorts, she could have you crying with the laughter with some of her stories. As a little bit of time passed though, her "funniness" shifted from being stories about herself to making comments about others appearances. It started off as she'd whisper something mean about someone, and we might just say " ah now, Aoife [not her real name], that's not right", this moved on to at lunch time when some of the younger girls were walking past us, she started making really loud comments like "the size of your one's nose", or "wtf is your one wearing". We'd say something like, "will ya shut up, they're only first years leave them alone", but she had this knack of switching back to being funny charming Aoife, and in a few minutes could have us laughing at another one of her stories, and basically eating out of the palm of her hand.

Her general loudness and rudeness would occasionally get too irritating for some of my friends though, and they might just ignore her for the day. I would feel sorry for her, as I just saw her as abit of an idiot who just couldn't keep her mouth shut. So if some of the girls weren't talking to her at lunch, I would tell her to come with us anyways to get something to eat, and would chat to both her and the rest of girls, while she ate her lunch. By the end of the school day I would usually have managed to convince the girls to give her another chance, and they would start talking to her again. How I wish I just hadn't bothered now.:(

Her arguments with people got more vicious, and she would really tear strips of people's appearance and character with her words if they got on the wrong side of her. We witnessed this happening to people who weren't from our school who argued with her over things. This sort of intimidated all of us, even though we never spoke of it. I did notice though that school, we just started kind of letting her get her own way, just to say on her good side.

A few months into 5th year, she started just giving me the cold shoulder for no reason whatsoever. It started small, like totally blanking me in the corridors, but then talking again at lunch as we all hung with the same people. Then, even at lunch she would just ignore me, and cut me off when I was talking so she could talk over me.
Then in classes, she started taking my usual seat beside my friends, just saying "I'm sitting here now".
Then she started gathering all my friends to head off to the shop or into town for lunch, and leave without waiting for me to get my bag.
When I would get there, she's say something like "what do you want, or why are you here?", I would just ignore her and continue chatting to the rest.
She managed to get 3 girls who I had always being fairly friendly with, to just completely ignore me like she did. They would literally turn their backs to me when I came out for a smoke at break, moved away from me in classes, and would snigger and point at me during class breaks and lunch.

It got to the stage where all of my "friends" even the ones who I still got along with, just became like her lapdogs. I was always left alone in class and between classes, they went off for lunch everyday without inviting me, and if I walked down to meet them, her and the other three would make it very clear that I wasn't wanted, whilst my "friends" would talk to me, but they would be very awkward and when she said it was time to head back to class,they would go, and I was like a desperate little leech just lagging behind them back to class.

I started to stop coming to school, because I just couldn't bear the feelings of isolation I had when there. I met one of my friends one day and she asked why I was never in, I just broke down crying and told her exactly how I felt. She said she was sorry, that she would try to fix it. So she obviously told Aoife to lay off, but that just made it worse, because then Aoife just started coming out with things like, "be careful now, or 'my name' might start to cry, we don't want her to feel 'alone' now do we", and her and the 3 bitches would piss themselves laughing. My other friends were too afraid of her to say anything, so would just stay silent, but they stayed friends with her and continued to hang around with her. So I went back to not coming to school.

Outside of school I had many male friends, and 2 girl friends. Now the two girl friends I had were from a local estate, the type my mum didn't like me hanging around with because they were troublemakers. I liked them at the time though, because having some friends was better than no friends. These girls had quite a rep for being tough, and three times asked me if I wanted them to jump Aoife after school to teach her a lesson, and to get her to stop picking on me. Each time I said No- absolutely not. I didn't want somebody fighting my battles for me, as it would have just made things worse.

If I'm honest, I often wished that Aoife would have hit me, at least then I could of just let loose and kicked her fcking head in! I know that sounds really bad, but I was not afraid of her physically, she was alot bigger than me, but I am 100% sure that with my rage, I would have made her cry, and made her look like an idiot.
She was all talk, and sneaky bitchy comments though, coupled with exclusion. So I never had the opportunity to physically react.
I would have preferred to just fight her[even though I'd never been in a fight in my life], because I never knew how to deal with this type of underhand, catty, bitchy behavior. I never had good comebacks, I would just stay silent, cry and allow myself be excluded.
Being popular my whole life, I had no knowledge of how to deal with this, and just couldn't cope at all. I hated and feared confrontation, because I had no experience of it whatsoever. I was just a trembling wreck, who was full of boiling rage but I couldn't do anything about it.
As I said though, I feared her ability to slag and tear people apart with her words, and the power she held over others, I didn't fear her physically.

This continued until the end of 5th year, so come the summer holidays I was not hanging around with anybody from my secondary school.
It continued all through 6th year again.
I eventually stopped hanging around with the other 2 girls from outside school, which was a good thing as they really were trouble makers, but I would still talk to them if I ever saw them out which would be extremely rarely.
I started hanging around with a few old friends I'd known from a few years back, they had left school awhile back.
I dossed literally months of 6th year because I couldn't put up with it anymore. She started spreading rumors that I had lost my virginity to a local dirtbox, and that I was giving blowjobs to every fella, and even got some lads to slag me about this too.
I was still a virgin and had never even seen a real life penis, or touched a fcking penis with my hand, never mind anything else!:mad:

Whilst hanging around with my other friends from outside school we started getting into some pubs and nightclubs at the weekend. It was here I met my boyfriend, who I actually did lose my virginity to,and who I'm still with to this day, 7 years come the summer.:)
I never went to my Debs, even though I spent 400 euro on a dress. My boyfriend was disappointed about that, because he felt I would regret it. Which in a way he was right about. I still have that brand new dress hanging in my wardrobe, and it makes me cry sometimes when I look at it, because it reminds me that I never got to wear it and that the bitches won.
There was so many nice girls in that school, who I didn't hang around with but who had asked if I was going to the debs. For the last 2 years, I could have just started hanging around with any of these nice groups of girls, if I had just opened up to them and told them what was happening with my own group of friends, but instead I always pretended I was fine to them, and just stopped going to school.

Surprisingly I managed to get really high leaving cert points, despite the fact I was never in. I got my dream course and myself and my boyfriend moved away. I had to leave that course though, because I had a lot of family trouble back home. I am 23 now and back in college, and things are going good.

I have met Aoife and 3 of the really bitchy ones around town when home, and everyone of them have said Hi to me, as if nothing had ever happened. One even came over hugging me in the nightclub one night! I wish I could tell you that I gave them some really nasty put down, but unfortunately I just mumbled Hi back, and kept on walking. I was just kind of in shock I think.

I have also met and spoke with the girls who had remained friendly with me, but who had also just stood by and hung around with her in school. I wanted to scream at them, "why did ye just stand by and allow all this to happen?, I was your friend since we were 12 years of age, and yet you chose this new girl to our group, who ye didn't even particularly like, to treat me like this!" I wanted to tell them that they were just a bunch of cowardly lapdogs, but I was too cowardly myself to say any of this to them.
I just politely listened as they told me of how since after school, they had all fallen out with Aoife, and how she was such a bitch, blah blah blah....

So Aoife was left with no friends after school too, and from what I can tell is hanging around with 18 year olds, and still minker drinking. She failed most of her leaving cert subjects, and never did any other type of course either.

I get angry about this at times, but only when I sit down and think about it.
I have become more assertive, and only wish I could go back in time, because I know now exactly the things I could say, that would have put a stop to all this. I also am fiercely defensive of other people now, and will never stand by and watch someone being excluded. I do my best to always make everyone feel welcome, and on my course I always call over anybody who is sitting by themselves.
So I think some good has come out of it. There is still some anger and regret there though, and the fact that I was the only one who would speak to her when the others would stop talking to her at the start, and I was the only one who would defend her and ask others to give her another chance, and it was me she chose to turn on, really makes me mad.
I think of how different things could have been, if I hadn't stuck up for her. She would have found other friends and I would have been happy with my old friends.

Live and learn I suppose...

Das Kitty

I used to get picked on for my hair colour in primary school. Most of my class viewed me as "uncool" I had a small group of 3 friends who stuck together. One year two of them decided they wanted to be viewed as cool so started hanging around with the bra-wearing crew. Completely ignored me and my remaining one friend then were egged on to start slagging us and stealing from us.

The worst thing is I let these two betray me a second time. One of them I became close to in secondary school again only to be dumped for the cooler girls. The other only the year before last when I was pregnant was supposed to meet me to come walking on the prom and she never turned up. I was stood there like a pleb dying for a wee and barely able to walk. Turned out she decided to go for coffee with someone else and had texted me but forgot to hit send! I saw her over Christmas briefly and she pretty much invited herself to my son's birthday party. She never turned up or called to say she wouldn't be there either. Haven't heard from her since.

As for the friend that I had all through school, she's one of the closest people to me. I love her so much, just had her second child last week.

cdaly_

starling. wrote: »

@ Laauren:

And don't be scared about moving to a new school. Lots of students do that and it can definitely work out for the better. If you think it will make you happier, go for it.

Definitely worked for me. I moved school not for bullying but to repeat Leaving Cert. I arrived at the new school with none of the 6 years of baggage with previous teachers and was a 'new guy' so my classmates had to get to know me first. I guess I presented as confident so they wanted to like me...

bangra bangra

Ok, so I know this is not the right way to do things but it worked for me... My son was being bullied constantly from the time he started playschool. The child doing the bullying had serious problems, the lady running the playschool told me she was afraid of him, his rage etc but didn't do anything to sort out the problem. When my little guy started school you can imagine my delight when I saw who would be his classmate, the bullying continued, I raised it with the school several times, they agreed he was a serious problem for them but nothing was done. By the time they reached 2nd class, I was at my wits end. One day, felt it would be a big mistake for me to let it go any longer, went up to school door, bully was the first one out... in front of his mother and class teacher, cot him by the jumper and said "If you ever touch *** again I will fcuking kill you" blah blah, his mother was silent, saw a slight smirk escape from the teachers face. Sure enough, not a problem since...

Dudess

Sometimes force, as a final resort, is the only way (within reason of course).

Madame Razz

Yup. Pre braces I had horrific teeth. And really bad hair, but we all lived in the middle of nowhere so everyone had bad hair:D

Anyway, I did have a great childhood, but my teeth caused me to get quite the time of it at school. A serious time of it. And being lanky adn awkward didn't help. I don't really want to go into it, but trust me when I say it was bad. I moved on from it, I got braces, and thankfully I never had any trouble in any regard at secondary school(our classes were streamed and I think that helped hugely tbh, there was very little bullying in the school as a result). I grew up, improved in appearance etc, and eventually had the same guys who made life hell for me try to get me to go out with them:rolleyes:

But a little bit of that 'torture' has always stayed with me. Like previous posters, I can never take compliments seriously; fundamentally, deep in my mind, I'll always be the lanky awkward kid with the bad teeth:o

Handsome Bob

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

I wonder what makes people be bullies,I say most are horribly unhappy themselves.

It varies. In some cases the cliches can be true, such as some bullies lacking self esteem. Or they might have inferiority complexes. Or come from abusive backgrounds themselves.

But then there are the other people, who are just plain bad. There's no major causal reason to explain why they do what they do. Sometimes people are just rotten to the core.

LegacyUser

When I was young I was very ill, I'd virtually no immune system and had to be put on steroids at age 5. From that point on I began gaining a lot of weight and became a very big child and the bullying started.
By the age of 9 I hated school and would frequently come home in tears. I had no confidence and was left out of things a lot (in a class of over 30 students I got invited to 1 or 2 parties a year. and when i'd have a party kids used to hid their invitations so their parents wouldn't make them go- my mother found that out when she's ask the parents if the children could come).
My second name rhymes with fat so you can image name calling was easy. I spent most of my lunch times pretending to be sick so I could stay in or offering to help the teacher so i didn't have to sit by myself on a wall and be made feel guilty for eating.

Teachers tried to help but when it came down to it nothing really stuck. The bullys might lay off for a few days, then they'd be right back as bad as they were.
My mother sent me to a dietitian to help me lose weight, but she made the mistake of telling one of the children's mothers one day, who told her kid, who told the school. After that I refused to go back.
My mother then tried to organised for me to move schools. But I didn't want to go to a new school without my best friend who was in my class (I was convinced I'd be bullied no matter where I went and having her made it slighly more berable). So I stayed where I was.

In my final year of primary school (age 12) that best friend told me one day she never wanted to talk to me again and everyone on in the school hated me so I should just go off and kill myself. It was the first time I ever slapped someone. Needless to say the rest of the year was a missery. I became so quiet and closed off. I can remember seeing the girls all hugging eachother goodbye on the final day and wishing I'd a friend to hug.


I started secondary school and most of the girls who I went to primary school came as well. Thankfully, in a school of 90 girls it didn't matter as much. I found a very good group of friends and i got my confidence again. I really came out of my shell and the other girls started to not bother me anymore. (though 1 of them did go up to my new friends one day and told them that I was a loser and they should stay away from me- thankfully my friends just laughed at her)


I still carry a lot of the scars bullying did to me. It takes me a long time to trust people, i didn't like my body for many years and for the longest time I never though any man would find me attractive, let alone love me.

But now I've a wonderful man who i trust completly, who makes me feel beautiful and special and most importantly safe everyday and has done so for over 4 years. I have amazing wonderful friends who I know would do anything for me and me for them.
And I've lost all the weight I had in school. Now when I run into people I went to school with they don't recognise me at all- but I remember them and it's nice to see the look of shock as i introduce myself, my hot ass and my handsom boyfriend.

maurichlee

My son attends a local primary school in Cavan, Ireland and has been repeatedly bullied by the same boy for the past year. He has had to endure beatings and slander on most days. As a parent who guards and protects my child, I have raised this issue too many times to mention with the school yet there has been no end to this matter. Then yesterday, the icing on the cake....my son was using the facilities at the school a few minutes before the end of the school day, and this same boy urinated all over my sons' pants. He has now resorted to using his private parts as a weapon against my son.

When will something be done about this? When will bullying be layed to rest in this country? Do you know how embarrassing and demeaning this kind of behaviour is to the victim? Enough has to be enough, and something has to be done!

reallyrose

maurichlee wrote: »

My son attends a local primary school in Cavan, Ireland and has been repeatedly bullied by the same boy for the past year. He has had to endure beatings and slander on most days. As a parent who guards and protects my child, I have raised this issue too many times to mention with the school yet there has been no end to this matter. Then yesterday, the icing on the cake....my son was using the facilities at the school a few minutes before the end of the school day, and this same boy urinated all over my sons' pants. He has now resorted to using his private parts as a weapon against my son.

When will something be done about this? When will bullying be layed to rest in this country? Do you know how embarrassing and demeaning this kind of behaviour is to the victim? Enough has to be enough, and something has to be done!

Don't give up.
Support your son.
Write to the school, registered post so you can prove you have contacted the school on this point.
Contact the School Board, the parent's committee, anyone who has pull at the school.

Most of what happens to a child when he/she is being bullied would be deemed assault under any other circumstances, especially the incident you've described there.

What is the school saying when you contact them regarding the bullying?
I wouldn't take no for an answer from them, they have a duty of care towards your child and if he does not feel safe in school they are failing your son.

maurichlee

You're right, this is assault!!! I will not let this one go!!! Not even my dog urinates on people!!! This is enough, this is now personal!

reallyrose

maurichlee wrote: »

You're right, this is assault!!! I will not let this one go!!! Not even my dog urinates on people!!! This is enough, this is now personal!

I completely understand your upset and anger, I had a terrible time in school and if I thought that anyone I cared about was going through something similar, I'd be fit to be tied.
However, try to go through the proper channels, it will get you a lot further than going mad altogether.
I'm sure the school has a bullying policy (or is it an anti-bullying policy? :P)
See what it says.
There's probably a grievance policy as well, everywhere has policies for everything now.
If there isn't a policy on bullying, you could use this as a chance to get the parent's association to ask the school to write one.

I know you'd love to rush off and crack heads, but in the long run going through official channels will be better. The school will have to deal with this properly, so it will be better for your son and anyone else that is being bullied. (I'm sure there are others, there always is)

carolinespring

maurichlee wrote: »

My son attends a local primary school in Cavan, Ireland and has been repeatedly bullied by the same boy for the past year. He has had to endure beatings and slander on most days. As a parent who guards and protects my child, I have raised this issue too many times to mention with the school yet there has been no end to this matter. Then yesterday, the icing on the cake....my son was using the facilities at the school a few minutes before the end of the school day, and this same boy urinated all over my sons' pants. He has now resorted to using his private parts as a weapon against my son.

When will something be done about this? When will bullying be layed to rest in this country? Do you know how embarrassing and demeaning this kind of behaviour is to the victim? Enough has to be enough, and something has

That is just awful. Ask to se the schools policy on bullying. Put everything in writing and ask for a written reply. No one shouls ever have to put up with bullying. I feel for you and your son.

goose2005

There's a lot of violence in schools that would not be tolerated on the street, and psychological bullying that no workplace would ignore. A few bullies led out of school in handcuffs and doing a few months in St Pat's/Oberstown would do a lot towards stopping bullying, especially if it was widely reported. Teachers can be pretty useless, why not ask gardai to bring assault/battery charges?

goose2005

maurichlee wrote: »

My son attends a local primary school in Cavan, Ireland and has been repeatedly bullied by the same boy for the past year. He has had to endure beatings and slander on most days. As a parent who guards and protects my child, I have raised this issue too many times to mention with the school yet there has been no end to this matter. Then yesterday, the icing on the cake....my son was using the facilities at the school a few minutes before the end of the school day, and this same boy urinated all over my sons' pants. He has now resorted to using his private parts as a weapon against my son.

When will something be done about this? When will bullying be layed to rest in this country? Do you know how embarrassing and demeaning this kind of behaviour is to the victim? Enough has to be enough, and something has to be done!

As i said, bypass the school. If the same had been done to you by another adult, the perpetrator would face prison. Tell the gardai.

reallyrose

goose2005 wrote: »

There's a lot of violence in schools that would not be tolerated on the street, and psychological bullying that no workplace would ignore. A few bullies led out of school in handcuffs and doing a few months in St Pat's/Oberstown would do a lot towards stopping bullying, especially if it was widely reported. Teachers can be pretty useless, why not ask gardai to bring assault/battery charges?

goose2005 wrote: »

As i said, bypass the school. If the same had been done to you by another adult, the perpetrator would face prison. Tell the gardai.

I'd strongly recommend that you don't do this!

tan11ie

maurichlee wrote: »

You're right, this is assault!!! I will not let this one go!!! Not even my dog urinates on people!!! This is enough, this is now personal!

I can't believe that the school hasn't dealt with this accordingly! you need to get moving and go above their heads...your poor lad must be so upset! this needs to be addressed before it leaves him with permanent mental scars. Tbh if it was my kid i'd refuse to take him to school until that little bully was sorted.Nobody should have to put up with that disgusting behavior let alone a young child. I really hope you get it sorted soon.

Raze_them_all

goose2005 wrote: »

As i said, bypass the school. If the same had been done to you by another adult, the perpetrator would face prison. Tell the gardai.

for a child <12?? What do you think will happen?

To the woman who posted about her son being bullied I've said it once and I'll say it again. Get him into boxing/kickboxing etc

It will give him confidence in himself, show him that he can fight back and show the little **** of a bully that your son is not an easy target. Honestly I don't get why parents are afraid to let their kids fight back it helps bullies so much.

ennis81

Jesus some awful stories here
When my little girl was in playschool she was very happy, until she was 3 and a new little boy Darren joined:mad: My girl arrived home with a few bruises on her arm she said Darren was pinching her, reported it to lady running playschool and she said she would keep an eye on it, few weeks later she came home with black eye, Darren had pushed her onto the floor, playschool said they would speak to his mother....few weeks later she came home with a bite mark from Darren I was seriously annoyed at this stage and said I wanted a meeting with his mother, she didn't turn up, THEN the playschool rang me one day and told me to come up with spare clothes, Darren had gone into the toilet and thrown my daughters skirt down the toilet!!!! I WAS RAGING. The mother of Darren was a nurse and was picking him up and dropping him off before I arrived so I never bumped into her, .....SO I arrived early the following day an waited for her to arrive, I approached her when she got out of her car and told her if her son went anywhere near my daughter again I would be holding her personally responsible, I said she was a disgrace of a mother and her son obviously had seriously problems, I said I knew where she lived and would be calling around to her house with my family and partner if her son did anything else to my girl,,,,And I meant it I was furious.
A few days later she removed her brat from the playschool and everything when back to normal, my daughter is nearly 9 now and she still remembers being afraid of that kid...shes never been bullied since and is very happy and well adjusted.
I dunno maybe some people would say I handled the situation wrong but I was protecting my little girl.

To the lady in Cavan is speaking to this bullys parents an option for you?
My heart goes out to your young fella

I got bullied quite a lot as a kid, and I would definately say that a zero-tolerance approach to bullying is the only way to get rid of it. When I was being bullied I found the best way to stop it was to make the person realise that I wasn't going to take any more of their crap, and it would turn them off. Schools, parents, etc need to show that they're not going to 'protect' bullies.
I'm making a generalisation here, so forgive me, but it seems to me that the people that run schools, etc have no idea what it's like to be bullied. They think it's a harmless part of growning up, etc and don't do anything about it unless it gets extreme. I'd like to share all the self-loathing and misery I felt during my teenage years and ask if they really think it's harmless. Bullies are monsters.

Teddy_Picker

God, some really heartbreaking stories on here, ye guys have really had it rough!
I never experienced anything quite as bad as some other commenters, but I was subtly undermined and excluded a lot in primary school, and it affected my confidence and self-esteem for years and years after.:(

Bullying is despicable! :mad:

bangra bangra

maurichlee wrote: »

My son attends a local primary school in Cavan, Ireland and has been repeatedly bullied by the same boy for the past year. He has had to endure beatings and slander on most days. As a parent who guards and protects my child, I have raised this issue too many times to mention with the school yet there has been no end to this matter. Then yesterday, the icing on the cake....my son was using the facilities at the school a few minutes before the end of the school day, and this same boy urinated all over my sons' pants. He has now resorted to using his private parts as a weapon against my son.

When will something be done about this? When will bullying be layed to rest in this country? Do you know how embarrassing and demeaning this kind of behaviour is to the victim? Enough has to be enough, and something has to be done!

That is just the last straw. Look at the Phoebe Prince story, if the school are not implementing their anti bullying policy, the only way is to take matters int your own hands by going to the bully and/or parents directly and dealing with the situation for the sake of your own child..as a parent its your responsibility to make sure your own kid is No. 1 and doesnt spend the whole of his/her school life in fear of a child who sounds like he needs professional help...:mad:

maurichlee

Went to the meeting at the school about the urinating incident on my son. The priest who is the Board of Management said that the evidence (pair of pants that were urinated on) could not be used as evidence as they were tampered with(he suggested we had taken them home and performed the urination ourselves!!)OMG!!!I am so shocked! Not one of us thought of that!!! hmm... Once again the victim gets VICTIMIZED!!!

carolinespring

maurichlee wrote: »

Went to the meeting at the school about the urinating incident on my son. The priest who is the Board of Management said that the evidence (pair of pants that were urinated on) could not be used as evidence as they were tampered with(he suggested we had taken them home and performed the urination ourselves!!)OMG!!!I am so shocked! Not one of us thought of that!!! hmm... Once again the victim gets VICTIMIZED!!!

Did you ask for the school policy on bullying (make sure you get a copy) and put the whole story in writing as well?
The school has a duty of care to your son. If you want more information PM me.