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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    What to do with one's time and how to meet people , it seems to be the eternal conundrum for the sober life . So ABC and enoughalready I can identify completely with what ye are experiencing .

    But it only seems to be a conundrum , for me a sober life is not the same life as before but just minus the drink , it is a completely different life . It is like emigrating to a different country , a different continent even .

    I had many great drinking friends but not one has lasted into my sober life . Turns out they were not such great friends after all, just drinking buddies . And I don't mean that in a bad way , it is no different to all the great mates you have in a job and when you are leaving everyone says they will stay in touch , but they rarely do ,once the job connection is gone so is the friendship. True friendship is a rare thing and not to be found through a love of drink or work.

    And I had the people telling me that no way was I an alcoholic and I realized that that was just fear on their part ,because if I was then maybe they were too. And this was confirmed as I saw them drifting in and out of AA in the ensuing years .

    And then exactly as you say , after a year or so into the programme people genuinely delighted for me as they could see I had ''a bit of a problem''and congratulating me on my success. Nice to hear but exasperating at the same time - if you could see why didn't you tell me at the time for fcuk sake , but we are a polite nation and that kind of honest is rarely our way.

    Anyway I am rambling at this stage so to the point what to do about it. For me I never ,ever went to pubs again unless it was an unavoidable family occasion , wedding, birthday,etc. And very quickly I became bored with even the best of people who had even two or three pints in them . It really does change them and only the long term sober can see it.

    I created a whole new lifestyle based around interests I had given up on and new ones I set out to find ,Sport,Photography,Classical Music, Books
    and most of all AA , going to meetings for myself and helping others . And reconnecting with my family .

    The hardest part for me was that I was socially inept before I drank and the alcohol cured all that ,so now that I was sober I had to face those issues without a crutch . Turns out it was not that hard .

    So endeth the ramble :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    marienbad wrote: »
    What to do with one's time and how to meet people , it seems to be the eternal conundrum for the sober life . So ABC and enoughalready I can identify completely with what ye are experiencing .

    But it only seems to be a conundrum , for me a sober life is not the same life as before but just minus the drink , it is a completely different life . It is like emigrating to a different country , a different continent even .

    I had many great drinking friends but not one has lasted into my sober life . Turns out they were not such great friends after all, just drinking buddies . And I don't mean that in a bad way , it is no different to all the great mates you have in a job and when you are leaving everyone says they will stay in touch , but they rarely do ,once the job connection is gone so is the friendship. True friendship is a rare thing and not to be found through a love of drink or work.

    And I had the people telling me that no way was I an alcoholic and I realized that that was just fear on their part ,because if I was then maybe they were too. And this was confirmed as I saw them drifting in and out of AA in the ensuing years .

    And then exactly as you say , after a year or so into the programme people genuinely delighted for me as they could see I had ''a bit of a problem''and congratulating me on my success. Nice to hear but exasperating at the same time - if you could see why didn't you tell me at the time for fcuk sake , but we are a polite nation and that kind of honest is rarely our way.

    Anyway I am rambling at this stage so to the point what to do about it. For me I never ,ever went to pubs again unless it was an unavoidable family occasion , wedding, birthday,etc. And very quickly I became bored with even the best of people who had even two or three pints in them . It really does change them and only the long term sober can see it.

    I created a whole new lifestyle based around interests I had given up on and new ones I set out to find ,Sport,Photography,Classical Music, Books
    and most of all AA , going to meetings for myself and helping others . And reconnecting with my family .

    The hardest part for me was that I was socially inept before I drank and the alcohol cured all that ,so now that I was sober I had to face those issues without a crutch . Turns out it was not that hard .

    So endeth the ramble :)

    Good post Marienbad


  • Registered Users Posts: 793 ✭✭✭Kunkka


    realies wrote: »
    One of the weirdest things an addict (fit whatever name fits in here)has to adjust to is the reactions of his friends. When you first tell them that you're quitting your vice, most of them will assume that you're giving it up for a couple of weeks to detox and reset. After you've hit the finish line that they set up in their own heads, they'll show up again to invite you out. When you tell them that you've given it up for good, they'll be completely blown away. "Why? You're not an addict! You just really like alcohol,There's nothing wrong with that. It's not like you're some back alley wineo,

    After a few months, they'll say that you've proven you can handle life without the booze or drugs or amateur rooftop wrestling. "That proves that you're not an addict. You should come out and get blasted like old times. If you've been clean for this long, one night of fun isn't going to hurt." If you resist the temptation, they'll once again leave, and you'll spend the rest of the night coping with the realization that your friends are collectively the devil,

    After a year, it's like some switch is thrown, and everyone treats you like a hero. Especially people you haven't talked to in a while. It's surreal. "You quit? Oh, wow, that's great! I'm so proud of you!" Then it's usually followed with a variation of "I really need to quit myself. I don't do it nearly as much as I used to, but I'll occasionally still go down to the old local and do a few rounds, Nothing big. Just socially."

    It's such a relief when that happens, but it ends up being too little too late. Don't get me wrong -- the support is awesome. But in those first few months, quitting is hard enough on its own without other people trying to talk you out of it. That support could have really come in handy when you were at your weakest and losing the internal debate to just say **** it and give in to the temptation. There's an extreme upside to that happening, though.









    Taken from one of my old files not my original post :-)
    marienbad wrote: »
    What to do with one's time and how to meet people , it seems to be the eternal conundrum for the sober life . So ABC and enoughalready I can identify completely with what ye are experiencing .

    But it only seems to be a conundrum , for me a sober life is not the same life as before but just minus the drink , it is a completely different life . It is like emigrating to a different country , a different continent even .

    I had many great drinking friends but not one has lasted into my sober life . Turns out they were not such great friends after all, just drinking buddies . And I don't mean that in a bad way , it is no different to all the great mates you have in a job and when you are leaving everyone says they will stay in touch , but they rarely do ,once the job connection is gone so is the friendship. True friendship is a rare thing and not to be found through a love of drink or work.

    And I had the people telling me that no way was I an alcoholic and I realized that that was just fear on their part ,because if I was then maybe they were too. And this was confirmed as I saw them drifting in and out of AA in the ensuing years .

    And then exactly as you say , after a year or so into the programme people genuinely delighted for me as they could see I had ''a bit of a problem''and congratulating me on my success. Nice to hear but exasperating at the same time - if you could see why didn't you tell me at the time for fcuk sake , but we are a polite nation and that kind of honest is rarely our way.

    Anyway I am rambling at this stage so to the point what to do about it. For me I never ,ever went to pubs again unless it was an unavoidable family occasion , wedding, birthday,etc. And very quickly I became bored with even the best of people who had even two or three pints in them . It really does change them and only the long term sober can see it.

    I created a whole new lifestyle based around interests I had given up on and new ones I set out to find ,Sport,Photography,Classical Music, Books
    and most of all AA , going to meetings for myself and helping others . And reconnecting with my family .

    The hardest part for me was that I was socially inept before I drank and the alcohol cured all that ,so now that I was sober I had to face those issues without a crutch . Turns out it was not that hard .

    So endeth the ramble :)

    QFT


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 219 ✭✭enoughalready


    Thanks folks for your words of wisdom. Much appreciated. Will look into different social settings that I can explore and see if something clicks!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23 _lietome_


    This post has been deleted.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    _lietome_ wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Just do one more day and lets discuss it tomorrow:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23 _lietome_


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    _lietome_ wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    and so you lived well today and long may it continue , and you know what they say-

    Live well today, for today lived well makes yesterday a dream of happiness and tomorrow a vision of hope , so live well today.

    And going to bed sober is truly a day lived well . By such seemingly small steps we triumph a day at time .


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,163 ✭✭✭fish fingers


    I'm 5 years and 4 months sober,one the best feelings is Sunday mornings without the fear of looking at your phone to remind yourself what happened the night before.


  • Registered Users Posts: 523 ✭✭✭leinsterdude


    Hi, watching this forum a good while, sitting here having two beers, after a week whilst my wife and kids were away, where I had four or five each night, every time they go away I drink that much, when they are here it's only drink at weekends but the same amount, the booze this week has set me into the blues, do I need an AA meeting ? Or just too fond of it as in a glutten ? I am confused.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Hi, watching this forum a good while, sitting here having two beers, after a week whilst my wife and kids were away, where I had four or five each night, every time they go away I drink that much, when they are here it's only drink at weekends but the same amount, the booze this week has set me into the blues, do I need an AA meeting ? Or just too fond of it as in a glutten ? I am confused.

    Maybe you just need to hit the gym more and try cutting down the drink....or get a hobby? Or have you already tried that route and it didn't work?

    It doesn't sound that desperate a situation to me but I don't know how what else is going on in your life so it's hard for anyone to judge from on here to be honest.
    Do you think you have a drinking problem? Do you want to stop drinking for good? It's your life and only you know how much drink is truly affecting it.

    Anyways there is an Open Meeting tomorrow morning if you want to see what an AA meeting is like:
    Corduff Community , Resource Centre, Blackcourt Road, , Corduff,
    11 am

    http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting#info

    Talks online as well....it's ok to drink while you listen if it comes to that . I know a few who actually got sober later on starting just that way :p

    https://www.youtube.com/user/OdomtologyBooks

    Hope you feel better soon.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    I'm nearly 3 weeks without a drink, the most time I've done in nearly a decade. No AA required, most recovering drinkers fear a life without booze. For me, even at this early stage it feels the opposite.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun




  • Registered Users Posts: 4,477 ✭✭✭tinpib


    4 days for me.

    I first gave up drinking 'permanently' in 2010. The first 2-3 months of sobriety were excellent, I felt euphoric, almost arrogant that I was sober and wasn't like those other 'little' people who needed to drink, unlike me. Then around month 5 or so I was so sick and tired of being 'on the sidelines' on social occasions that I went back drinking.

    No regrets at the time, had a 'great' time back drinking at the start until eventually last year, almost 4 years later, I reached a point again where I had a scary clusterFCuK of a night that scared me straight and I swore never again.

    Went 4.5 months last year but went back on it due to not having fun, being on the sidelines etc. Sad but true. I was feeling miserable by not drinking. So I started drinking again with no regrets.

    Again everything was 'fine' at the start. I could drink responsibly and in moderation etc. I certainly didn't have a horror story of a 'night out' but after about 2 months of drinking, and not 4 years, I reached the point of wanting to give up after Christmas and realising it's not worth it and I can't handle it.

    So a change, it only took me around 8 weeks to realise drinking doesn't agree with me rather than almost 4 years. I think that is a good sign. But it took a shocker of a 'night out' last weekend, the fallout of which I am still dealing with, to finally give me the wake up call and motivation to stop again.

    So here I am again, today I actually felt great for waking up on a Saturday refreshed and without a hangover, I felt euphoric. It's a great feeling.

    I am looking forward to the next 2 months or so, I think it will be great. I hope history doesn't repeat and that after month 4 or so I am so miserable I start drinking again.

    But I do think if it happens again, I won't beat myself up. No doubt very soon after wards I will give up again. Falling off and getting back on the wagon doesn't bother me, I am not ashamed by it. And my friends have heard it all before several times so I think they now realise it's part of who I am and what I do.

    So I am in the honeymoon period of sobriety at the moment. I hope my experience of giving up before will help me this time.

    I think my biggest problem is putting myself out there and starting new sociable hobbies. I am ok at doing noble, worthy past times, i.e. fitness, learning a language etc I just need to do more things with other people for pure fun.

    And I think that has to be something different from sitting round a table and talking, that reminds too much of being in a pub. I want to try new activities, so that's what I will do.

    Also I am abroad, so less people judging me, asking me why I am not drinking etc, which is great. But it present more challenges for meeting new people. Or maybe that's all in my head.

    I read this thread a lot during my 4.5 months of sobriety last year. I only checked in again last night and I saw some posters that I noticed back then are still sober now and I am thrilled to see that having kept half an eye on your journey.

    Thanks all!


  • Registered Users Posts: 523 ✭✭✭leinsterdude


    tinpib wrote: »
    4 days for me.

    I first gave up drinking 'permanently' in 2010. The first 2-3 months of sobriety were excellent, I felt euphoric, almost arrogant that I was sober and wasn't like those other 'little' people who needed to drink, unlike me. Then around month 5 or so I was so sick and tired of being 'on the sidelines' on social occasions that I went back drinking.

    No regrets at the time, had a 'great' time back drinking at the start until eventually last year, almost 4 years later, I reached a point again where I had a scary clusterFCuK of a night that scared me straight and I swore never again.

    Went 4.5 months last year but went back on it due to not having fun, being on the sidelines etc. Sad but true. I was feeling miserable by not drinking. So I started drinking again with no regrets.

    Again everything was 'fine' at the start. I could drink responsibly and in moderation etc. I certainly didn't have a horror story of a 'night out' but after about 2 months of drinking, and not 4 years, I reached the point of wanting to give up after Christmas and realising it's not worth it and I can't handle it.

    So a change, it only took me around 8 weeks to realise drinking doesn't agree with me rather than almost 4 years. I think that is a good sign. But it took a shocker of a 'night out' last weekend, the fallout of which I am still dealing with, to finally give me the wake up call and motivation to stop again.

    So here I am again, today I actually felt great for waking up on a Saturday refreshed and without a hangover, I felt euphoric. It's a great feeling.

    I am looking forward to the next 2 months or so, I think it will be great. I hope history doesn't repeat and that after month 4 or so I am so miserable I start drinking again.

    But I do think if it happens again, I won't beat myself up. No doubt very soon after wards I will give up again. Falling off and getting back on the wagon doesn't bother me, I am not ashamed by it. And my friends have heard it all before several times so I think they now realise it's part of who I am and what I do.

    So I am in the honeymoon period of sobriety at the moment. I hope my experience of giving up before will help me this time.

    I think my biggest problem is putting myself out there and starting new sociable hobbies. I am ok at doing noble, worthy past times, i.e. fitness, learning a language etc I just need to do more things with other people for pure fun.

    And I think that has to be something different from sitting round a table and talking, that reminds too much of being in a pub. I want to try new activities, so that's what I will do.

    Also I am abroad, so less people judging me, asking me why I am not drinking etc, which is great. But it present more challenges for meeting new people. Or maybe that's all in my head.

    I read this thread a lot during my 4.5 months of sobriety last year. I only checked in again last night and I saw some posters that I noticed back then are still sober now and I am thrilled to see that having kept half an eye on your journey.

    Thanks all!

    Well said, very open and honest.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,477 ✭✭✭tinpib


    Well said, very open and honest.

    Thanks.

    Just re reading what I wrote I don't think I was totally honest in saying that I was 'drinking responsibly and in moderation' before Christmas.

    It was more like I had no control over my drinking but managed to not wake up with hours long black outs, no mysterious cuts and bruises and no lost personal possessions.

    In other words plenty of 'good nights out'.

    Until last week...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    I was out tonight and had a few alcohol free beers..I noticed they had .05 % alc on reading the bottle. Was disappointed to see this, but I guess its hardly much.

    Otherwise life is great..will have a great sleep tonight and get up for a heavy gym sesh :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    I was out tonight and had a few alcohol free beers..I noticed they had .05 % alc on reading the bottle. Was disappointed to see this, but I guess its hardly much.

    Otherwise life is great..will have a great sleep tonight and get up for a heavy gym sesh :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭souls


    lufties wrote: »
    I was out tonight and had a few alcohol free beers..I noticed they had .05 % alc on reading the bottle. Was disappointed to see this, but I guess its hardly much.

    Otherwise life is great..will have a great sleep tonight and get up for a heavy gym sesh :)

    These beers are produced in the same way as regular beer, the alcohol is extracted afterwards, they could have some residual alcohol left in them so they write contains 0.5% or less on them as a kinda legal thing.

    I know a guy who has been sober for a few years now, but still drinks these whens he's out. I also know that i have tried to use these as a substitute and ended up back drinking soon after so it depends on the person.. just a bit like playing with fire for me.

    Anyway you'll know what works for you! You're doing extremely well lufties! keep at it boss! One day at a time.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    souls wrote: »
    These beers are produced in the same way as regular beer, the alcohol is extracted afterwards, they could have some residual alcohol left in them so they write contains 0.5% or less on them as a kinda legal thing.

    I know a guy who has been sober for a few years now, but still drinks these whens he's out. I also know that i have tried to use these as a substitute and ended up back drinking soon after so it depends on the person.. just a bit like playing with fire for me.

    Anyway you'll know what works for you! You're doing extremely well lufties! keep at it boss! One day at a time.

    Thanks souls :) I live in London where its a bit easier to do things on the dry. To be honest Jason vales' book 'kick the drink easily' has helped me a lot. I actually feel like I'm not sacrificing anything by not drinking :) focusing on eating well, getting fit and uni studies. It feels gratifying to go to a pub with friends and not drink alcohol. I don't even miss it now.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,477 ✭✭✭tinpib


    So it is exactly a week now, when I think of the utter horror show of consequences I woke up to this day last week and how I physically and mentally felt at this time last week I feel, well, relieved.

    My mind is razor sharp, I had a fairly productive day and then for the first time in ages I went for a run in the evening. Usually my motivation for a run is to blow away the cobwebs of booze or that my head is wrecked and I want to clear it. But today it was more that I felt good, physically and mentally, so why not go for a run anyway to feel even better?

    And boy do I need a clear head. I am STILL sorting out consequences from last week's drinking. I hope tomorrow the last thing out of my control will be sorted, then I can tidy up loose ends and I will be back to where I was before I went 'out for a few drinks'.

    Definitely relieved is the overall feeling. And thankful to not be drinking, that I am thinking clearly and know I won't end up doing anything stupid tonight anyway. I'm thankful to have a clear head right now instead of wanting to get drunk. I think that run after work is what did it. I feel somewhat broken free from its clutches. I've read Allen Carr before and have Jason Vale but haven't read it.

    I feel a lot more committed to sobriety than I did a few days ago. Coming into a Monday being able to go full steam ahead while waking up without a hangover over the weekend is a great feeling. I hope it continues.

    Give me another 3 or 4 weeks and I hope to start the pure stupid, fun stuff. Strange as it may seem I just couldn't think of ways to enjoy myself last time I was sober. Funny, true and a little frightening really.

    My thoughts at the minute are stuff like bowling, city events, and throwing myself into meetup/Facebook groups etc, ones that involve an activity apart from sitting round a table talking.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,932 ✭✭✭hinault


    tinpib wrote: »
    4 days for me.

    I first gave up drinking 'permanently' in 2010. The first 2-3 months of sobriety were excellent, I felt euphoric, almost arrogant that I was sober and wasn't like those other 'little' people who needed to drink, unlike me. Then around month 5 or so I was so sick and tired of being 'on the sidelines' on social occasions that I went back drinking.

    No regrets at the time, had a 'great' time back drinking at the start until eventually last year, almost 4 years later, I reached a point again where I had a scary clusterFCuK of a night that scared me straight and I swore never again.

    Went 4.5 months last year but went back on it due to not having fun, being on the sidelines etc. Sad but true. I was feeling miserable by not drinking. So I started drinking again with no regrets.

    Again everything was 'fine' at the start. I could drink responsibly and in moderation etc. I certainly didn't have a horror story of a 'night out' but after about 2 months of drinking, and not 4 years, I reached the point of wanting to give up after Christmas and realising it's not worth it and I can't handle it.

    So a change, it only took me around 8 weeks to realise drinking doesn't agree with me rather than almost 4 years. I think that is a good sign. But it took a shocker of a 'night out' last weekend, the fallout of which I am still dealing with, to finally give me the wake up call and motivation to stop again.

    So here I am again, today I actually felt great for waking up on a Saturday refreshed and without a hangover, I felt euphoric. It's a great feeling.

    I am looking forward to the next 2 months or so, I think it will be great. I hope history doesn't repeat and that after month 4 or so I am so miserable I start drinking again.

    But I do think if it happens again, I won't beat myself up. No doubt very soon after wards I will give up again. Falling off and getting back on the wagon doesn't bother me, I am not ashamed by it. And my friends have heard it all before several times so I think they now realise it's part of who I am and what I do.

    So I am in the honeymoon period of sobriety at the moment. I hope my experience of giving up before will help me this time.

    I think my biggest problem is putting myself out there and starting new sociable hobbies. I am ok at doing noble, worthy past times, i.e. fitness, learning a language etc I just need to do more things with other people for pure fun.

    And I think that has to be something different from sitting round a table and talking, that reminds too much of being in a pub. I want to try new activities, so that's what I will do.

    Also I am abroad, so less people judging me, asking me why I am not drinking etc, which is great. But it present more challenges for meeting new people. Or maybe that's all in my head.

    I read this thread a lot during my 4.5 months of sobriety last year. I only checked in again last night and I saw some posters that I noticed back then are still sober now and I am thrilled to see that having kept half an eye on your journey.

    Thanks all!

    Nice post. And as others have said the post is an honest account.

    I read this thread from time to time and it is interesting to read the account of people who struggle with alcohol.

    I don't drink alcohol. I don't drink because I found when I did that the effects of alcohol, apart from the odd hangover, left me in a mood the next days which I can only describe as being neutral. And I was only ever a moderate drinker at best!

    Plus I played a lot of sport so I wanted to be as fit as I could be. But the feeling neutral bit was probably the overriding cause for me to stop drinking. It worried me that I could feel so listless and indifferent. And I didn't like feeling that way

    I threw myself in to more and more sport as a result. It helped me get even more fit and sports like long distance cycling required lots of energy, therefore rest and relaxation took priority to going out at the weekends.

    My point? My point is that as you begin to fill your time with other pursuits, your thought patterns change.
    Your mind actually starts to cultivate other thoughts that lead to other behaviours. And as these more positive thoughts become more ingrained the neural pathways of the brain will help you move in to different directions and to experience different sensations and experiences.
    That's what I found anyhow.

    It takes time for these things to develop. Persevere and you'll get there!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,477 ✭✭✭tinpib


    Thanks Hinault.

    Yes, I've stayed sober for a while before which I hope will help me succeed and grow this time. Learn from my mistakes, what works doesn't work, what I need to try this time that I didn't try before and all that.

    Anyway, I just realised that this isn't the place for my own lengthy twice-weekly updates so will check out of here for now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    tinpib wrote: »
    Thanks Hinault.

    Yes, I've stayed sober for a while before which I hope will help me succeed and grow this time. Learn from my mistakes, what works doesn't work, what I need to try this time that I didn't try before and all that.

    Anyway, I just realised that this isn't the place for my own lengthy twice-weekly updates so will check out of here for now.

    Hi tinpib, you'll find that soon you won't even feel like drink, getting over the first week is a big achievement, well done.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    37 years this week and still going just a day at a time . And the sense of wonder that I escaped from all that mayhem and madness has never left me .

    What a gift and an undeserved gift at that , in all those years many much more deserving than I didn't make it , so if you have been given even a glimpse of it, hang on to it ,work at it , do whatever it takes . You will be repaid many times what you put into it .

    And so my anonymous forum friends, ( in many ways I know ye better that real world friends) I begin another year in your company and looking forward to it .


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    ((((((((((((((marien))))))))))))))))))) Happy 37!! Thanks for all you contribute here. Much appreciated and I wish you a beautiful 38! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 183 ✭✭Diablo Verde


    One year and 100 days now :) Best decision I ever made. Actually, it's a decision I made various times, but this time I've stuck to it.

    On an even more positive note, everyone seems to have accepted that I just don't drink anymore. This was a huge part of the battle.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    One year and 100 days now :) Best decision I ever made. Actually, it's a decision I made various times, but this time I've stuck to it.

    On an even more positive note, everyone seems to have accepted that I just don't drink anymore. This was a huge part of the battle.

    Well done :) btw it should have been you that was accepting of their drinking.


  • Registered Users Posts: 523 ✭✭✭leinsterdude


    marienbad wrote: »
    37 years this week and still going just a day at a time . And the sense of wonder that I escaped from all that mayhem and madness has never left me .

    What a gift and an undeserved gift at that , in all those years many much more deserving than I didn't make it , so if you have been given even a glimpse of it, hang on to it ,work at it , do whatever it takes . You will be repaid many times what you put into it .

    And so my anonymous forum friends, ( in many ways I know ye better that real world friends) I begin another year in your company and looking forward to it .

    Love to know the extent of your drinking ? Maybe other here too ? was it really so bad ? or just every night, very curious....


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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    Love to know the extent of your drinking ? Maybe other here too ? was it really so bad ? or just every night, very curious....

    It depends on what you mean by very bad . It my own case it was , I didn't start until I was 18/19 and the very first time I drank I got drunk and I stayed drunk for 6/7 years . And in that time I went from being ''best in class'' to hanging on to my job by a thread and solely because I had a particular skill that for a period of time was in very short supply . Otherwise no one would have tolerated my crap.

    I went from being an honest caring responsible ultra shy individual to a lying thieving manipulating life of the party drunk . When I wasn't drinking I was thinking about drinking or how to raise money for drink or how to avoid the latest consequence of my drinking . It was just a nightmare to which I have no intention of returning .

    If you want more specific details just ask as it is such a broad question . I will answer if I can .

    The one other thing I can say is that dramatic ( in a local and family milieu ) as my descent into that madness was, my recovery was relatively quick.It is astonishing how much punishment the human body can take and still recover - but there is a limit before permanent damage is done . That doesn't mean it was easy getting away from it but by the time I was sober as long as I was drinking ,about 6/7 years , my life and family was completely back on track . Took a lot of hard work and support from family and friends in AA, but I am still here and still going to meetings. AA may not be for everybody but it was and is like coming home for me.


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