Haven't touched a drop in...

pcuser

Can I ask what "AF" means?

tinpib

pcuser wrote: »

Can I ask what "AF" means?

Alcohol Free

pcuser

tinpib wrote: »

Alcohol Free

Thank You,

Schwanz

Heading into my second weekend off the gargle and will be working Saturday so that night really is only the hurdle.

Feeling great to be honest, long may it last.

pcuser

Schwanz wrote: »

Heading into my second weekend off the gargle and will be working Saturday so that night really is only the hurdle.

Feeling great to be honest, long may it last.

The same length of time for me. I must admit im getting a lot more done around the house as well as a lot more running. I was originally thinking a dry Jan. I think il stay off it for longer.

Well done.

Dave!

Well done guys, keep at it

leinsterdude

fair play all, I lasted a measly 7 days, uh oh.... :-(

gifted

leinsterdude wrote: »

fair play all, I lasted a measly 7 days, uh oh.... :-(

Get back on the horse again and do 8 days this time

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better

tinpib

leinsterdude wrote: »

fair play all, I lasted a measly 7 days, uh oh.... :-(

Doesn't matter, 7 days is still 7 days. What does matter is how you feel now?

Are you still determined to stay off it? If so then great, that 7 days will be a good foundation, you know you can do 7 days so it should be a bit easier this time. Then hopefully it will be easier to do 12/14 or more days.

However if you feel like you will never be able to stop and what's the point then that's completely understandable too, most of us have been there, but it would be a shame.

I hope you feel ready to try again. Persistence is key.

1 thing everyone who is sober has in common is that they persisted. Woah, deep man....:p

Cushtie

lufties wrote: »

Has it been a good 7 years AF?

Its been an interesting time. I didn't have a huge problem with alcohol just couldn't take the hangovers and the depressed feeling I got from it any longer. We had a child born with special needs and my head was all over the place for a while so decided I didn't need the added complication of drink thrown into the mix. Gave it up for a few months and never went back!!

During this time I went back to college part time and progressed career wise so I suppose it helped that I was able to focus better.

Social life definately took a hit (anyone remember Fun Bobby, yeah something like that.!!) Used go to pub at the start and have non alcoholic drinks bit got bored with it and became very lazy socially, or maybe that's just a natural thing with getting older!

pcuser

2 weeks off the drink today. I have noticed that my skin is looking much better. Still no struggles or temptations. I had planed on a dry Jan. I think now I will stay off it until May when I complete my next marathon. Thats if the thought of drinking alcohol does not repulse me by then.

lawlolawl

About a week since i last drank (i honestly can't remember if the last time was Monday or Tuesday). For the last 5 years or so i used to drink at least 4 cans a night without fail, more if i was off work and the odd time i'd buy a bottle of spirits in the morning and floor the entire thing during the course of the day.

Always felt like a colossal waste of time because i get really listless and unfocused when i'm drinking so i'd just sit around doing very little. When i sobered up during the day i still just sort of drifted through the day and did the bare minimum to keep going. I was one of those people constantly putting off till tomorrow what could be easily done in ten minutes today. Lots of anxiety on top of all of it as well.

Woke up one morning last week and my lower back was in bits, i could barely move and i didn't know why so i just decided to put an end to the booze because i'm in my mid 30s and i was going to end up a wreck if i kept going the way i was.

The first couple of days were not fun. Felt kind of out of it and really jittery and i was doing some serious mental gymnastics to justify getting one last 4-pack "to set me right before i really gave up" but that was gone by the morning of the third day. The craving faded really quickly and the brain-fog i didn't even realise i had is clearing a little more every day. I already feel simply better in every way. Still really tired though. Going to get back to walking soon because i used to love doing that but feeling like ****e in the morning put an end to it.

I'm off work today for the first day since i quit and i'll admit the idea of a sixer of Bavaria was on my mind for a while about an hour ago but i'm distracting myself now and i'll look up at the clock in a bit and it'll be 10.30pm or so and the option will be gone and i'll be ok.

I won't say i'll never drink ever again but i sure as hell won't go back to sitting at home wallowing in the nothingness of being drunk.

tinpib

Good to hear from you lawlolawl, everyone is different but particularly in the early stages I found the stopdrinking subreddit great to stave off temptation. I could relate to almost every post which helped reinforce that I was making the right decision and so made it easier to not drink, one night at a time.

lawlolawl

tinpib wrote: »

Good to hear from you lawlolawl, everyone is different but particularly in the early stages I found the stopdrinking subreddit great to stave off temptation. I could relate to almost every post which helped reinforce that I was making the right decision and so made it easier to not drink, one night at a time.

As chance would have it i'm actually looking at a few threads on that subreddit right now.

Yeah, there's a whole lot of familiarity there. Nearly everyone has basically same story as to how their drinking crept up on them. it seems to cross over age, gender, etc.

DaeryssaOne

Haven't had a drink or cigarette since NYE, feeling pretty good about it, certainly don't want to sound smug but have found the no smoking pretty easy.
The not actually physically drinking hasn't been too difficult either but I think that's just because it's January and so many people are on the dry anyway - it's weird having no real weekend plans though, even by just differentiating my Friday night from other weeknights by having a bottle of wine in front of the tv.

I didn't have a bad alcohol problem in that it didn't interfere with my job, relationships etc. but I just had no off switch and was really sick of waking up with the fear any time I went out as I would regularly have blackouts. I'm getting a bit long in the tooth for the panicked phonecalls begging friends to tell me I hadn't been 'that bad' and then writing off the entire day with an awful hangover.

Despite that I'm finding it difficult to explain to people that I'm not just off it for January but hopefully off it for good and I'm already worrying about how I'll cope when I go on holiday with friends in March, I don't want to be a buzzkill but think I may struggle to not talk myself into 'just having the one'. I really want to stop poisoning my body but with two holidays booked already this year with friends I know I'm going to find it difficult.

tinpib

Could have written this word for word myself not too long ago, bar the smoking part, but ironically I was into a habit of smoking a lot every night when drunk.

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

it's weird having no real weekend plans though

What you mean is you don't have plans to get sh!tfaced for the billionth time and are unsure of what to do with this gift of free time. I know myself.

A good start is the cinema, it's Oscar season so good movies are out. You could go to the cinema at 6pm or 8pm, that will help avoid temptation during those key times.

Spend the evening on the stopdrinking subreddit, doesn't sound too exciting but it will give you strength, maybe watch the late late or something. It will feel weird but you know yourself how great you will feel tomorrow.

Once you get into a habit you realise what a gift sober Saturday mornings are. time to learn a new language, do a course, go to the gym, catch up chores, do stuff you never ever get round to or just relax with a coffee.

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'm getting a bit long in the tooth for the panicked phonecalls begging friends to tell me I hadn't been 'that bad' and then writing off the entire day with an awful hangover.

Yep, that was me, far too often.

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

Despite that I'm finding it difficult to explain to people that I'm not just off it for January but hopefully off it for good and I'm already worrying about how I'll cope when I go on holiday with friends in March, I don't want to be a buzzkill but think I may struggle to not talk myself into 'just having the one'. I really want to stop poisoning my body but with two holidays booked already this year with friends I know I'm going to find it difficult.

This is a tricky one. No doubt.

First bit of advice is to take it one day at a time and worry about that when you get to it. But I know it's not that easy. I was abroad on my own for the first 20/21 months of sobriety this time around. My 4th time giving up 'permanently'. I was absolutely thrilled to miss out on weekends away, weddings, birthdays family events. Harsh, but true.

Maybe I would have had a grand time at them, but I know for certain I would have been dreading them for months, that's not good.

I'm back in Ireland and I skipped the first "lads away" weekend. A 2 or 3 day pish up just doesn't appeal to me now. No point codding myself that it will. So it's a tricky one for you.

I did a stag weekend sober on my first time giving up permanently in 2010. I was checking my watch like I was in a 48 hour mass. It wasn't fun, I'm glad I stayed strong, but I wasn't having much fun. Although I was sober enough to realise that a girl was interested in me and to not fupp it up for once.

I went on my first holiday away on my own after 3 months sober in 2016. I purposely was busting my ass at work beforehand so that I would be relatively happy just going to the beach at 1030am, going back home at 530pm, getting some food and then just watching **** on my laptop in the evenings. It wasn't the best holiday I ever had. It was certainly very very different. I was tempted to drink at times, but I was so glad when I didn't drink.

As I say I tried to stack everything in my favour, so when I was back in my room watching TV shows I had to pinch myself and say "oh ya, I bust my a$$ recently to get everything done, I don't have work hanging over me, so I deserve to just chill out and watch this nonsense."

I completely understand your concerns, best of luck to you.

pcuser

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'm already worrying about how I'll cope when I go on holiday with friends in March, I don't want to be a buzzkill but think I may struggle to not talk myself into 'just having the one'. I really want to stop poisoning my body but with two holidays booked already this year with friends I know I'm going to find it difficult.

Would it be possible to pull out of the holiday and treat yourself to something you would have spent the money on?

DaeryssaOne

pcuser wrote: »

Would it be possible to pull out of the holiday and treat yourself to something you would have spent the money on?

I'm afraid not, I have spent a lot of unrefundable cash for the holiday in March and the one later in the year is for a wedding that I couldn't miss.

I'm hoping to find a decent non-alcoholic beer that i could sup on (at least on this first holiday) so I at least don't feel like I'm totally outside the group if we're in a bar.
If I order something like a diet coke it's just gone in two minutes flat so at least I could be 'in a round' with the non-alcoholic beer and I wouldn't feel left out. That's probably a silly worry but I'm hoping to not have to keep explaining myself to people and I doubt most would even notice if it looks like I'm actually drinking.

Sigma Force

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'm afraid not, I have spent a lot of unrefundable cash for the holiday in March and the one later in the year is for a wedding that I couldn't miss.

I'm hoping to find a decent non-alcoholic beer that i could sup on (at least on this first holiday) so I at least don't feel like I'm totally outside the group if we're in a bar.
If I order something like a diet coke it's just gone in two minutes flat so at least I could be 'in a round' with the non-alcoholic beer and I wouldn't feel left out. That's probably a silly worry but I'm hoping to not have to keep explaining myself to people and I doubt most would even notice if it looks like I'm actually drinking.

I thi k non alcoholic beer is a risky road to go down, many do contain tiny amounts of alcohol and even if they don't the familiar fizz and taste might be too familiar and can easily lead to having one beer and so on. For a start don't be worrying what other people think, it's like the Irish shame each other if a person doesn't drink. You do what's best for you, did what anyone thinks if they think it's weird let them. It's not always easy going to functions so maybe have a plan in place. Maybe say to yourself I'll stay for the meal and a chat afterwards but when I get bored or if it's getting a bit tedious watching everyone get scuttered make a plan to leave early. At that stage you'll have been to the wedding and the only thing you'll miss is a few hours of really bad dancing. Or you might find you end up chatting away and don't notice the time going by. But make a back up plan for yourself. Maybe on the hol just name it clear that you're not drinking, if you want just say you're on a health kick and stick to water or the like. Water looks like vodka and ginger ale looks like whiskey if you want to go down that road. But it's better just to be open and honest with yourself and others, you'd be surprised how much respect you'll get, anyone that doesn't support you in this or takes the piss isn't really a true friend if they can't accept you as you are. Don't mean to sound like a cow but I've noticed that with my OH who's sober 7 months, really find out who your true friends are and he's starting to realise how unreliable so many of his drinking buddies really are now. But baby steps, one day at a time. You're doing great and if you haven't already maybe find a good gp to talk to or a support group ..doesn't have to be AA. Just to give you a boost of confidence.

Dave!

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'm afraid not, I have spent a lot of unrefundable cash for the holiday in March and the one later in the year is for a wedding that I couldn't miss.

I'm hoping to find a decent non-alcoholic beer that i could sup on (at least on this first holiday) so I at least don't feel like I'm totally outside the group if we're in a bar.
If I order something like a diet coke it's just gone in two minutes flat so at least I could be 'in a round' with the non-alcoholic beer and I wouldn't feel left out. That's probably a silly worry but I'm hoping to not have to keep explaining myself to people and I doubt most would even notice if it looks like I'm actually drinking.

Are they friends that you could tell in advance that you are off the drink? Would be good to soften the ground ahead of the trip - you'll probably still get the usual hassle about not drinking, but you won't have to explain it every time. A non-alcoholic beer might be good alright.

pcuser

3 weeks off the booze yesterday. Its my birthday today and Liverpool are playing. I went for a run and got a nice cut of salmon to have later on. Its my 1st bday since I was 15 that I wont be drinking . Thats 20 years.

Dave!

pcuser wrote: »

3 weeks off the booze yesterday. Its my birthday today and Liverpool are playing. I went for a run and got a nice cut of salmon to have later on. Its my 1st bday since I was 15 that I wont be drinking . Thats 20 years.

Happy birthday!

Day 2. Let's hope this is the time I achieved it

Garrett81

your sober 2 days, you already have . Well done!

pcuser

Deleted User wrote: »

Day 2. Let's hope this is the time I achieved it

The best of luck,

mixed up

I really want to stop, I have had a problem for years, drinking since I was 15, I'm 32 now. I've lost everything to alcohol and still I can't stop. I've even been so bad where I end up peeing in the bed,

I've lost my ex partner and child because of it, ended up with a protection order against me which I broke and ended up getting arrested more times than I can remember,

I still love her and it breaks my heart, she's right though, why would she want to with me, it was my birthday on Sunday and I asked her to go do something with me,

She didn't want to and I was hurt and done my usual thing and turned to alcohol, I drank Friday night, all day Saturday, all day Sunday and Monday, so I have missed work yesterday and today. We had an argument and she won't talk to me at all now.

I got caught drink driving a few months ago and now I have no transport, I've lost everything because of it and I always go back to it, I'm a drunken mess when drinking and an a hole. I still go back, I wanted to kill myself this morning, only for my child I want to die. I was close to going drinking today cause I was feeling so depressed

I have threatened to give it up before but never serious, I stayed off it for 6 weeks last year, that's the only length I've ever stayed off of it, I feel so alone and like I don't have any friends in the world.

Sorry for the long post, just feels like I've no friends in the world and just wanted to get that off my chest. Day 1 I really hope that I can stay off of it for good, I don't want to be like this and don't want my daughter seeing me like this.

marienbad

mixed up wrote: »

I really want to stop, I have had a problem for years, drinking since I was 15, I'm 32 now. I've lost everything to alcohol and still I can't stop. I've even been so bad where I end up peeing in the bed,

I've lost my ex partner and child because of it, ended up with a protection order against me which I broke and ended up getting arrested more times than I can remember,

I still love her and it breaks my heart, she's right though, why would she want to with me, it was my birthday on Sunday and I asked her to go do something with me,

She didn't want to and I was hurt and done my usual thing and turned to alcohol, I drank Friday night, all day Saturday, all day Sunday and Monday, so I have missed work yesterday and today. We had an argument and she won't talk to me at all now.

I got caught drink driving a few months ago and now I have no transport, I've lost everything because of it and I always go back to it, I'm a drunken mess when drinking and an a hole. I still go back, I wanted to kill myself this morning, only for my child I want to die. I was close to going drinking today cause I was feeling so depressed

I have threatened to give it up before but never serious, I stayed off it for 6 weeks last year, that's the only length I've ever stayed off of it, I feel so alone and like I don't have any friends in the world.

Sorry for the long post, just feels like I've no friends in the world and just wanted to get that off my chest. Day 1 I really hope that I can stay off of it for good, I don't want to be like this and don't want my daughter seeing me like this.

Are you going it alone or are you using some programme ?

mixed up

I have to do it myself, I live in the country and I can't drive cause I'm banned, I'm not going to tell my family and what little friends I do have left would just laugh at me. I really hope that I can stay off of it. I don't want to be living like this.

tinpib

You are in the right place, and posting here is the first step. A couple of thoughts.

mixed up wrote: »

I've even been so bad where I end up peeing in the bed

Great that you are honest, but this is very common, you are not alone.

mixed up wrote: »

I've lost my ex partner and child because of it, ended up with a protection order against me which I broke and ended up getting arrested more times than I can remember,

I got caught drink driving a few months ago and now I have no transport.

Again if you go onto the stopdrinking subreddit you see this all the time. It can destroy careers and serious hinder people's lives but often it is the wake up call for people to change.

mixed up wrote: »

I stayed off it for 6 weeks last year,

This is huge. I think almost every one of my friends would struggle to do this. If you have done it before you can do it again. Please post here, as you say it feels good to get it off your chest. But read through this thread and all the links. In early stages of sobriety this time around I buried myself in this thread, reddit/stopdrinking, youtube docs, the show "Intervention", books on alcoholism etc.

hubba

Hi Mixed up

You sound like you are in a really bad place and my heart goes out to you. You've come to a good place here - people are very supportive. You'll get lots of advice but it's hard to give advice when you don't know the person but here's my tuppence worth. I wouldn't try to quit right away if I were you - I'd build a plan where over time you create another healthier life that you can gradually move over to because at the moment it sounds like you have nothing but the booze. Try to not binge either as alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel even worse and more emotional so you won't be making good choices.

It's hard to but you'll have to move away from people whom you have nothing in common with but drinking. Have a really big think about what you used to enjoy in life and try and get there again. What did you love as a kid? Swimming? climbing? drawing? Whatever it is see if you can make plans to do that again.

Also, try and learn a bit more about what booze really does to you and read all the pages here about people who were where you are and are now free of the poison, free of the depression and deceipt that drink brings. Some are really inspriational.

So for now, just try to get rest, decent food, a few walks in the fresh air and some alone time to think. And stay tuned here where you will be amongst friends and those who can help.