Depression

t0mm13b

stupidusername wrote: »

That's what I picked, and I'm only on meds, not counselling.

I was referred to a psychiatrist and after the session in a psychiatric ward (:eek: ), the outcome was that because I was "better plugged" then the rest of them in the waiting room (it was horrible, sitting there to see others staring into space ... am not being judgmental and apologize for saying it... but it was not nice at all!) and because of my being deaf, was referred to a society for the deaf.... no good... not good... so in the end I said fcuk it... that was "my help"... low dosage effexor 75mg, that's all...

Geansai Rua

First option..
Sometimes things are just such a serious struggle

stupidusername

t0mm13b wrote: »

I was referred to a psychiatrist and after the session in a psychiatric ward (:eek: ), the outcome was that because I was "better plugged" then the rest of them in the waiting room (it was horrible, sitting there to see others staring into space ... am not being judgmental and apologize for saying it... but it was not nice at all!) and because of my being deaf, was referred to a society for the deaf.... no good... not good... so in the end I said fcuk it... that was "my help"... low dosage effexor 75mg, that's all...

When I spoke to my doctor about being on anti depressants, he said he'd like me to see a counsellor too. as i'm on a medical card he said he could write a referral for the same. he first forgot to send the letter, but then (around two months later) he got a letter back saying they'd no room for me because I wasn't considered high risk. I suppose it's partly my fault, as I could never admit to my GP that I did from time to time feel suicidal. But he never asked.

t0mm13b

stupidusername wrote: »

When I spoke to my doctor about being on anti depressants, he said he'd like me to see a counsellor too. as i'm on a medical card he said he could write a referral for the same. he first forgot to send the letter, but then (around two months later) he got a letter back saying they'd no room for me because I wasn't considered high risk. I suppose it's partly my fault, as I could never admit to my GP that I did from time to time feel suicidal. But he never asked.

Don't be blaming yourself, ring up your GP as soon as you can and arrange to have another chat to explain that you feel suicidal from time to time and ask him/her for their mobile number....

stupidusername

t0mm13b wrote: »

Don't be blaming yourself, ring up your GP as soon as you can and arrange to have another chat to explain that you feel suicidal from time to time and ask him/her for their mobile number....

nah I can't. when I get myself moved I'll try get myself sorted that way too. it's just too difficult as it is now.

KnifeWRENCH

I was diagnosed with "mild" depression about a year ago. (I was also suspected as possibly suffering from schizophrenia but thankfully that turned out not to be the case.) This came after months of feeling miserable about life; I spent the whole summer of 2009 alone in my bedroom. I thought going back to college would help but the added pressure just made everything worse. I ended up missing so many lectures and assignments because I could never sleep at night and would be too fatigued to get up and go to college in the morning. Subconsciously, I think I stayed awake at night because if I was too tired to get up during the day it meant I could avoid seeing other people and would only have to be awake when I was alone.

Was put on medication and for most of 2010 I was doing a lot better. Over the past 2 months everything has basically come down hard on me again. Being back in college has put a lot of pressure on me; I'm in my final year and need to do ridiculously well this year to get a Masters (to make up for missing so much college in 3rd year, when I was depressed but didn't know it, and basically doing shít in my 3rd year exams.) I saw a counsellor who basically told me that he didn't think I needed counselling, and to be told that I was ok when I knew myself that I wasn't was a major setback for me. Also I became really disillusioned with everyone in my life; friends, family etc. I'd be mad at and avoid for no reason. Everything in life had already begun to fall apart when my boyfriend (who I had been with for six months) broke up with me the night before my birthday. That incident just accelerated everything and was about three weeks ago. I haven't felt right since.

I'm going back to a different counsellor, I'm going to give seeing a psychiatirst another shot (missed an appointment earlier in the year due to a mix up of dates - I didn't make another appointment because I thought I was doing better.) and my medication has been increased. I've never attempted suicide but I have thought about it; I reckon everyone (or nearly everyone) thinks about it at some stage though.

I wasn't gonna post all this here but I've spoken about it in other forums and I don't care about remaining anonymous or anything. A big thank you to boneyarsebogman for starting this thread; it's a subject that doesn't get as much treatment as it needs.

t0mm13b

stupidusername wrote: »

nah I can't. when I get myself moved I'll try get myself sorted that way too. it's just too difficult as it is now.

In your own time , but please do not forget that!

Dionysus

stupidusername wrote: »

When I spoke to my doctor about being on anti depressants, he said he'd like me to see a counsellor too. as i'm on a medical card he said he could write a referral for the same. he first forgot to send the letter, but then (around two months later) he got a letter back saying they'd no room for me because I wasn't considered high risk. I suppose it's partly my fault, as I could never admit to my GP that I did from time to time feel suicidal. But he never asked.

I've never used them so can't recommend them, but there are low cost counselling services out there. Sometimes just having somebody to listen to you and offer some different perspective does the trick, or helps you get back on the road again. I agree with people earlier saying GPs give anti-depressants out like snuff at a wake (totally off topic but has anybody ever got snuff at a wake?). I'm a strong believer in people being able to avoid drugs and talk themselves out of the rough times with confidential help.

By the way, when writing that letter your GP surely asked you in what clinic you'd like to see a counsellor? He should have. If one clinic is full, choose another and another and get him to write to them. My GP even said not to go to a certain place because somebody from my home place would be there. He had several alternative places. Lastly, you're going to have to be more honest with your GP if you feel suicidal. They can't help you unless you're upfront with them.

stupidusername

t0mm13b wrote: »

In your own time , but please do not forget that!

well i have to say I don't have much faith in counselling at this point. or meds. I'm coming off my meds over the next while, so I'll see how that goes. but I just haven't found I've gotten anywhere with either counsellor. I'd like to believe I could have a counsellor some day that is right for me, but it's hard to keep setting yourself up for it. I mean starting from scratch, talking about every detail. I think i've gotten to the point where I know why I have problems with things, I just need to find a way of dealing with it all now. maybe my last counsellor didn't want to move on too fast cause of the money she was getting, but I did try to explain what I felt I needed.

Mountainsandh

Geansai Rua wrote: »

First option..
Sometimes things are just such a serious struggle

I'm sorry you're feeling this way Geansai Rua.
I know the struggle, it might be a humongous effort, but maybe if you made an appointment with a GP something might come out of it (if you haven't gone yet).
I've been defferring that myself (more for anxiety atm though than depression), so I'm preaching something I haven't done yet, but maybe if you approach that like an automaton, blur your thoughts about it, just focus on physically getting to the GP, and take it from there...
Going to bed now, but good luck with it, hope change happens to/for you.

stupidusername

Dionysus wrote: »

I've never used them so can't recommend them, but there are low cost counselling services out there. Sometimes just having somebody to listen to you and offer some different perspective does the trick, or helps you get back on the road again. I agree with people earlier saying GPs give anti-depressants out like snuff at a wake (totally off topic but has anybody ever got snuff at a wake?). I'm a strong believer in people being able to avoid drugs and talk themselves out of the rough times with confidential help.

By the way, when writing that letter your GP surely asked you in what clinic you'd like to see a counsellor? He should have. If one clinic is full, choose another and another and get him to write to them. My GP even said not to go to a certain place because somebody from my home place would be there. He had several alternative places. Lastly, you're going to have to be more honest with your GP if you feel suicidal. They can't help you unless you're upfront with them.

I know it's my fault in a way for not saying it, I just feel like an attention seeker saying it to anyone. he brought it up, but asked how was i feeling at the time, and I was ok at the time, so I didn't have a need to mention it. I just feel they're going to think I'm being dramatic. plus I really don't know that I'd ever do it, so what difference does it make?

He didn't ask anything about where I'd like to be seen. didn't ask anything. when he got the letter saying they weren't going to see me, he gave me the number of a place I could organise myself. I started seeing a counsellor there. but it was still €50 a week. and that's just too much for me to pay anymore.

Neyite

Geansai Rua wrote: »

First option..
Sometimes things are just such a serious struggle

When you have depression, everything is a serious struggle and seems like a big hassle.

Your first step is get to a GP. Dont worry if you dont know how to explain how you feel - I went into mine and just burst into tears, and told him I couldnt stop crying and I didnt know what was wrong, or why I was crying. He asked a few questions and made his diagnosis, exactly the same way as if you went in with a mysterious tummy pain, by ruling out other possibilities and coming to a conclusion.

Next, Look after you. That means taking meds properly, as prescribed - if it says to avoid alcohol, and not come off the ADs suddenly then this is what you should do, eating and sleeping properly, and maybe some exercise - even if its a short walk or so. Think about booking a counseller- nothing scary there, its more confidential and less judgemental than a well-meaning friend. Its just talking.

Thats all we do, we take it from there, just a day at a time.

Geansai Rua

I would love to get to the gp and see what the hell is going on..
Biggest problem is that I cant afford it, still waiting on my medical card and until then i will just have to deal with it.
50 euro for the doctor and god knows how much else is just out of my reach!
My biggest problem is social situations, especially in a new place.. If i am in a big group of people, i have to leave and just get home, doesnt matter who im with.. tough around xmas time.

Dionysus

stupidusername wrote: »

I know it's my fault in a way for not saying it, I just feel like an attention seeker saying it to anyone. he brought it up, but asked how was i feeling at the time, and I was ok at the time, so I didn't have a need to mention it. I just feel they're going to think I'm being dramatic. plus I really don't know that I'd ever do it, so what difference does it make?

If your GP has been with you for years he'll know if you're a hypochondriac or drama queen and can put what you say to him in context. If you say just as above - i.e. feel suicidal but don't think you'd put it into action - he'll be able to judge that. But if you say nothing you're not going to be able to get the help you need.

stupidusername wrote: »

He didn't ask anything about where I'd like to be seen. didn't ask anything. when he got the letter saying they weren't going to see me, he gave me the number of a place I could organise myself. I started seeing a counsellor there. but it was still €50 a week. and that's just too much for me to pay anymore.

You need to return to him asap and ask him about alternative places you can go. Talk it all out with him. He has the knowledge of the system to help you. That's what he's there for. It's up to you to fight for your help otherwise, as you probably know, you'll become a statistic in this health system. There's counselling, at least in Dublin, on a 'what you can afford' basis. This can be as little as €15 per hour, and is often done via putting your money in an anonymous envelope and dropping it in a box. I'd be surprised if a similar service does not exist in your area.

Luke G

There are a lot of free counselling services around the place, Definitely in Dublin, Pieta House being one, They might not be near to you as they're in Lucan BUT sur eno harm in giving them a ring to ask if there are any similar services in your area, ALSO check out AWARE they have branches all around the country, Hope this helps & Best Of Luck...

t0mm13b

@boneyarsebogman: Many thanks for kick-starting the thread... it is humbling and a small consolation that we're not alone in this... I applaud you for taking the time to do this! I must retire to leaba now...

y'all take care of yourselves, and best wishes for 2011, and above all keep boardsie-ing

stupidusername

I've looked into other options. AWARE don't do anything anywhere near me. but i'm trying to move to dublin so maybe in a while I can do something.

See being in college and then finishing I switched doctors so no my GP didn't know much about me. and i've moved again now. but he wasn't a nice guy anyway. laughed at me once for asking something. I'm just in the middle of trying to sort a lot of things so it'll be another while before I can get back into counselling. when/if i move to dublin I'll look into all my options there. it's fairly pathetic the lack of services in this country though.

Luke G

Agreed, I was in a similar situation myself a while back, Be definitely worth even ringing one of these places to see what's available to you rather than waiting until you move, I mean even to tie you over for the time being, It's certainly not easy that's for sure, But you must remember, It is only temporary,No matter what you think, Things won't always be this bad, If things are going really wrong then just think nothing anytime soon can possibly be as bad or worse than they have been. I wish you the best of luck...

Dionysus

stupidusername wrote: »

I've looked into other options. AWARE don't do anything anywhere near me. but i'm trying to move to dublin so maybe in a while I can do something.

See being in college and then finishing I switched doctors so no my GP didn't know much about me. and i've moved again now. but he wasn't a nice guy anyway. laughed at me once for asking something. I'm just in the middle of trying to sort a lot of things so it'll be another while before I can get back into counselling. when/if i move to dublin I'll look into all my options there. it's fairly pathetic the lack of services in this country though.

Seeing as you're thinking of moving to the Pale, I don't know if this is true, or even if it still applies, but some years back I knew a girl who moved to Dublin and specifically chose to live in the catchment area of St John of God's hospital in Stillorgan so that she could be prioritised for treatment there. I'm not sure how true this is, but somebody here will probably know. If it is, it could be a smart move on your part to move there.

knuckledragger

Geansai Rua wrote: »

. If i am in a big group of people, i have to leave and just get home, doesnt matter who im with.. tough around xmas time.

Me too. Makes it difficult to meet people, and frankly my circle of friends has contracted over the years as a result.

AntiMatter

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

I don't want to go and talk to anyone about it because I am too embarrassed and ashamed, my parents don't know about it, and I want to keep it that way. In fact, Im willing to bet that the few posters here I know in real life would end up treating me differently if they read this, I don't want to be treated with cotton wool, or as if I am about to top myself at any given moment. So the plan is to keep going and things will hopefully get better. I imagine many people are in the same boat as me.

I suffered badly when I was a bit younger, about 10 years ago, but towards the end of the end of this year the black waves started washing over me again.

I sounded out a couple of friends, and I just went with the one who was most responsive and talked over my problems with him. Even being able to do that was a relief, something I wasn't able to do at the age of 21, because, like you I thought it was something to be embarrassed about.

It's not at all embarrassing, something I learned with age, and it's useful to get other people's perspective on things.

stupidusername

Dionysus wrote: »

Seeing as you're thinking of moving to the Pale, I don't know if this is true, or even if it still applies, but some years back I knew a girl who moved to Dublin and specifically chose to live in the catchment area of St John of God's hospital in Stillorgan so that she could be prioritised for treatment there. I'm not sure how true this is, but somebody here will probably know. If it is, it could be a smart move on your part to move there.

When I'm moving though I need to move for a job though. I'm sure wherever I am it'll be easy enough to access some services anyway.

Maserati23

Well I would like to say something l will keep it short, I do not post much, I feel like I might be "shot down" by the academics etc.

I had to finish work 8 years ago because of pancreatitis, up until that I was very formidable and respected up until then. I had no third level education. I was however the IDEAS Man for an investor in Dublin 2. Basically my ideas, his money, after 18 years I had opened 11 companies which were all successful ventures including 2 iso companies. I was responsible for the setting up marketing, staffing, etc. of all these companies. I had 4 mobiles, as some of my clients were major and some were North American blue chip outfits, whom require instant access to "Me".

Long and short of it the pressure got to me, My doctor ( same Dr. as G. Ryan ) just treated me as an ordinary "Hyper" patient and gave me lexotan and the likes to calm me down.

Anyway my days were quick everyday, I always had a million ideas and clients problems on my mind. My problem was I had no time (never made time to eat ) I just done a few hours each day, nobody questioned me or would dare do so, I ended up in D2 or usually the Horsehoe bar at 4 O clock and take it from there, ( Hence no food ) which led to pancreatitis many times, plus I finished when .......I got annointed in Beaumount Hospital one evening. I basically verbally assaulted the Priest and told him where to get off.

So I had to finish work. I was supposed to get a large sum for "Finishing up" but I was shafted Via the investor , whom I never had a row with in 18 years. Between him his Bank Manager, ( Whom was my bank manager also ) his lawyer (whom was my Lawyer also ) they came together and built a brick wall, that left me with less than nothing.

Anyhow . I said I would keep it short:eek: Sorry. What I really wanted to say I have been treated for Major Depressive Disorder , with drugs like Cymbalta 90 mgs. Jesus, dont take this drug, I have boxes and boxes of them, they would turn you into an instant vegetable. I went off this presciption without telling my GP. as I could not believe he prescribed them for me. They are basically for people who are incaserated in mental hospitals etc. and the practitioner wants to keep them in a vegative state. Luckily I do not have the MDD he prescribed me. I might be down, but I am not out.
I am on disability pension now with no future that I can forsee anyway. This does not put me on the funny farm. My Doc is not aware I take none of his prescriptions , except anything that would retard any pancreas problems.

I am delighted somebody started this thread, Fairplay to the OP.

Be aware your health is your wealth. But your "Life" is a lot easier when you have some physical monies to keep you going when thing get tough, this is the point that puts most people into depression, in my estimation anyway.

Always have some backup, and trust nobody, I have seen only 1 person from my staff of 460 in yhe last 2 years.

I said I would keep this short, which I did not. I am not going to read through what I have written, because it will show you the mental attitude of somebody in depression.

I will stay in the background, but please keep this thread going. No point in ignoring an illness that is rapidly growing in this Ireland of ours.

Happy New Year:)

Faith+1

Maserati23 wrote: »

I am on disability pension now with no future that I can forsee anyway.
Happy New Year:)

Thanks for sharing your story Maserati, really hit a nerve with me. If you don't mind me asking, How old are you now and what are your circumstances i.e Family, Morgage etc...? Thanks

Most serious posts like this I'd be all "off to personal issues with yeh!" etc etc.

But on this one I'm making a definite exception.

Thanks for starting and sharing this, you Boney Arsed Bog Man!

AckwelFoley

Almost 80% of polled people have had depression.

Either this forum is a haven for people with clinical depression or Irish doctors are over disgnosing this illness - i could be wrong, im just very suprised by the results and have always found that doctors are very quick to prescribe meds on this topic

Thing is that because there is a taboo behind depression, people aren't fully willing to admit that there is a problem. However, since there is the option for people to vote anonymously, they now can admit it. It's extremely surprising, but not unexpected.

Wolfe Tone

The odds are people affected by it would click on the link too.

AckwelFoley

Deleted User wrote: »

Thing is that because there is a taboo behind depression, people aren't fully willing to admit that there is a problem. However, since there is the option for people to vote anonymously, they now can admit it. It's extremely surprising, but not unexpected.

Yea, i understand this, but i think - from my experience, people tend to think depression because of its name has something to do with "being sad" or "down in the dumps" which are both normal experiences and emotions to have over the course of living

I say this because of the amount of people that - when the find out i have depression they tend to be shocked because of my normally extravert personality.

Depression (for me anyhow) is best described as harbouring the feelings of being distraught or of grief for extended periods of time for in many case no apparent reason

t0mm13b

IF there is one major clue that I've experienced when suffering with depression - I never had any dreams....a year on after taking the medication, the dreams are coming back.... surely it's a good thing....

Sounds unbelievable, but think about this - no one has a clue how the mind works....fragile and delicate, mind-fcuk with it and blammo...