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  • 28-12-2010 12:41pm
    Registered Users Posts: 26,961 ✭✭✭✭ boneyarsebogman

    Editing this post to add in some phone numbers/websites that people may find useful:
    Phone - 1850 60 90 90 Text (great service) - 087 2 60 90 90

    Mental Health Ireland


    Depression and suicide are a major risk in this country, especially with young males. It is seen as a taboo to have, which is something that needs to be broken. So - have you ever suffered from depression before? The above poll's results are private, so don't worry about anyone seeing them.

    This being AH, I am aware that some smart ass c*nt will make smart assed c*ntish replies, but I hope the rest of the posters just ignore them and we can have an open debate on this issue.

    For those suffering from depression, I hope they are aware that the personal issues forum (under soc) allows for anonymous posting, that is moderated. The mods over there do a superb job and ensure that only good advice is given.

    I have suffered from depression in the past and still do sometimes, but I am doing a lot better now. I realised a lot of mine was circumstance-orientated so I made a change - I quit my job that was affecting me greatly and went back to do my final year in college, I went out to make some new friends and have become much more active.

    For those suffering from depression, there is still hope. Talk to someone about it. If you're in third level education, go out and speak to an oncampus counselor.


    Just a note for anyone who feels depressed, it might seem dark now but there is help.
    Please read the sticky here if you haven't already or speak to a medical professional.

    Depression 1004 votes

    I am currently suffering from depression and receiving no help
    0% 0 votes
    I am currently suffering from depression and receiving help
    31% 317 votes
    I suffered from depression in the past but I am doing better now
    19% 193 votes
    I have never suffered from depression
    49% 494 votes



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,068 ✭✭✭✭ Jimmy Bottlehead

    Very relevant topic given current events and the time of year.

    Personally, I didn't have clinical depression, but I had a compulsive way of thinking from the age of 17 up until the age of 22 that made relationships and friendships difficult. Five truly miserable years in which I considered suicide, and self harm. I even went to two counsellors who did nothing to help. Finally, on the third attempt, I found a counsellor who was truly excellent and he helped sort it out. Always indebted to him.

    To anyone who is down, depressed or suffering, seek help. And if it doesn't work first time, keep searching because waking up each morning without a horrible weight on your mind is so worth it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 663 ✭✭✭ wellboy76

    How do you know you have depression?

    Do overweight or unfit people use it as an excuse?

    How does it click into gear is what I'm saying because I bet there are a lot of people who self diagnose themselves incorrectly

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,096 Wurly

    wellboy76 wrote: »
    How do you know you have depression?

    Do overweight or unfit people use it as an excuse?

    How does it click into gear is what I'm saying because I bet there are a lot of people who self diagnose themselves incorrectly

    Believe me mate, when you have depression, you bloody know about it.

    Crying for no reason, a horrible sadness that follows you around 24/7, life seeming hopeless, feeling like you're worthless, contemplating suicide, no motivation to do anything, not getting happy or excited even when good things happen.

    Trust me, you know.

    And really, it's not really anything to do with being overweight or unfit... eh.. what? Yes exercise can help boost the mood. But just cos you're overweight/unfit, doesn't mean you'll be depressed. It's not something you choose either - why the hell would you? It's horrible.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭ pablomakaveli

    I thought i was depressed a few years ago and finally i decided to go to a doctor. I was referred to a psychiatrist who told me i wasn't. Having learned more about depression since i realize that i wasn't although i was in a pretty dark place.

    The psychiatrist i mentioned above wasn't very helpful though. Got the impression he wasn't taking me seriously and didn't seem that interested. However it did help that i had told my family that i was struggling and it felt great to have that burden i had been carrying alone lightened a bit.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,751 liah

    I was diagnosed with a form of clinical depression, but I've never taken meds for it. I don't like the idea of it.

    It used to lead me to being suicidal and completely self-loathing and hateful when I was younger, but over the last, say, 2-4 years it's not been nearly as bad. About once a year I do kind of sink back into that "what's the point" frame of mind, but I can force myself to move out of it fairly quickly, because I know full well it's irrational.

    The one thing I hate most about it is that it's basically impossible for me to feel giddiness/that kind of excited, bubbly happiness, and very easy to feel the extremes of anger and sadness when I do experience them (which is rare enough these days).

    Overall, I'm a happy, confident, loving person now.. the best part of it being hearing how delighted my mother sounds over the phone when she hears how happy I am now after all those bad years. She's the only one I still am in contact with who really knows how bad it was for me, and who understands because she's been there, too. It makes me happy to make her happy again after all the misery I put her through.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,636 Plug

    Im a bit depressed at the moment, its on and off. Most of the time im grand but then I can get a belt of it straight away.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,072 PeterIanStaker

    You'll f*cking know if you have it. I've been on and off for years. Its a bitch. Never gotten help but may do at some stage just to get closure on a lot of sh*t.

    Men, especially younger lads we'll say under 30, listen up alright - talk to someone about it - close friends and people you can trust. Communication beats silence any day.

    You're not alone, although you may feel very isolated, I know I feel isolated time to time and I have a large and very supportive family as well as a partner - many people don't have them.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,096 Wurly

    Communication beats silence any day.
    Here here. Quote of the jaysisin century!!

  • Registered Users Posts: 26,961 ✭✭✭✭ boneyarsebogman

    I agree completely, but we have to be careful to not let this centre on young men, because men and women of any age can suffer too. Talk to somebody, like Peter said - whether it be someone professional, a friend, or even anonymous posting on Personal Issues.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,116 starviewadams

    Was suffering from depression for the past 12-18 months,but only decided to get help this past October because I was sure I was going to do something very stupid if I didnt.I think the stigma that surrunds mental iilness was what delayed me in getting help tbh.

    Am on meds now and although they're not the magic happy pill cure that I was hoping for they have seemed to at least drag me out of the very dark place I was in before I got help,plus I started seeing a psychologist just before Xmas and she seems quite understanding and positive that I can get better eventually.If anybody out there at all is feeling depressed I'd urge them to visit their GP and talk about it,there really is no point in bottling your feelings up because it just makes problems get worse.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,099 Johnny Bitte

    Trí wrote: »
    Believe me mate, when you have depression, you bloody know about it.

    It is possible to have it and not know. :(
    It happens so slowly that over time u just think its the way life is.

    so many people are afraid to talk to their friends and family about it cause of the stigma around psychological illnesses.

    Have to say there has been a massive campaign recently to bring awareness to this on tv and radio.

    But u have to help yourself first.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,171 af_thefragile

    I was really really bad after a traumatic break up a few years ago. It caused me to fail a college year as well. Probably the worst time of my life ever. Got help but it didn't really help. Went on for more than a year.

    But now I'm great and I don't think I can ever be that bad again. I see things differently now. Have to say religion and spirituality has a big part to play with calming me down and making me a happier and more peaceful person!!

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,072 PeterIanStaker

    careful to not let this centre on young men, because men and women of any age can suffer too.

    I know that everyone can suffer - the reason I mentioned men under 30 is because I am one and also can't directly speak for the experiences of other age groups or indeed other people - who are equally important, just in case it came across that I didn't think they were.

    hope that clears it up:o

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,096 Wurly

    It is possible to have it and not know. :(
    It happens so slowly that over time u just think its the way life is.

    so many people are afraid to talk to their friends and family about it cause of the stigma around psychological illnesses.

    Have to say there has been a massive campaign recently to bring awareness to this on tv and radio.

    But u have to help yourself first.
    Oh I totally agree. Take me for instance. I went travelling to Australia when I was 20. I left because being here just felt wrong... I can't explain it. So it was an escape to go. Imagine my 'delight' when I realised the problem was me and we all know you cant escape your own mind... But I didn't know what was happening - I just thought I was damaged and a worthless d1ck head. When I got home a year later in the April, I was very sick but didn't realise. My family were the opposite of supportive. It took a failed suicide attempt that November/December before I went to the doctor.

    Through meds, CBT and counselling, I have come out the other side. It has taken years but it's not about getting 'fixed', its about growing. All the time growing and nudging ever closer towards being genuinely and truly happy.

    The point is - you may not know you're 'depressed' but you know something is up. You know you feel bad all the time.

    Like you say, a lot of people are afraid to speak up. Afraid the doc will laugh at them for feeling a wee bit sad... But there comes a point where you know you have reached rock bottom. And that's where people either seek help or attempt suicide. Thankfully my attempt failed and I got the help I needed.

    I have felt suicidal on occasion since. But that was during periods of extreme stress and emotional pain.

    Again, you are never 'fixed'. You just keep bettering yourself all the time and you gradually get happier.

  • Registered Users Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭ Son Of A Vidic

    The thing about depression is some people don't realise they are actually depressed. A good friend of mine went through a rough patch a couple of years back. He didn't even realise he was depressed and only when he worked through it and looked back, could he then see how bad it was. As they say sometimes..."You can't see the wood for the trees."

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,525 ✭✭✭ flutered

    But u have to help yourself first.
    one cannot help themselves first, the cause has to be determined, then treatment can be perscribed, be it counseling or whatever, too many non qualified people think that they have the answers to a particular persons depression, they have not, believe me i know as i have first hand experience of this, often they just throw petrol on the fire, the mind is a very complex unit, amature and fireside phycytaricts should stay very far away from practiceing it. (sorry for my spelling).

  • Registered Users Posts: 26,961 ✭✭✭✭ boneyarsebogman

    For those who have voted that they feel better now, and if they don't mind revealing themselves, what was the turning point?

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,171 af_thefragile

    For those who have voted that they feel better now, and if they don't mind revealing themselves, what was the turning point?

    I was almost suicidal at one point.
    But I never gave up. I was constantly trying to find a "cure" per say. I was always trying to get better. Read/listened to a lot of self help material and all which did help upto a certain point.
    One thing I'm glad about is I never went down the alcohol and pills route cuz that is a dead end. It only covers up the pain and worse makes you dependent on it and then eventually your pain will surface through the booze and pills and it'll be even worse!

    What I was focused on was trying to figure out the pain and finding the key to happiness. One changed that happened was after I failed the year in college, my new classmates were much better than my old ones and I made some cool new friends.

    But the bigger change happened when because I was repeating the year, I had more time on my hands (as I had done it all before) and so I got into religion and spirituality and that is what changed my outlook on life. I started seeing things more clearly and everything made more sense to me seeing it under a new spiritual life. Don't wanna sound like a hippie here but that is what bought the permanent change to my life. Found all the answers to the complex questions I had in religious and spiritual teachings and the process hasn't ended. I'm still constantly learning new things and finding new/better ways towards finding that inner peace. So now I'm a much happier person!

    And also leaving all the religion/spirituality stuff aside. Getting outside, experiencing nature and regular exercise is something that definitely helps as well. Infact this is the key. You won't get better sitting in your dark claustrophobic room. You need to get out there and experience nature! Its true when people say nature has a healing power!

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,123 ✭✭✭ Brussels Sprout

    I voted the third option. For me it had a strong situational element. I read a lot and then I made a lot of changes. Small at first and then larger. Talking helps. Relationships help. Exercise helps. Independence helps.

    One of my favourite quotes about depression is from that great sage Tony Soprano and captures the fact that unfortunately if your parents have suffered from depression then you are more likely to as a result.
    Tony referring to his son: It's in his blood, this miserable ****in' existence. My rotten, ****in' putrid genes have infected my kid's soul. That's my gift to my son.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,221 ✭✭✭✭ Everett Worried Cook

    wellboy76 wrote: »
    How do you know you have depression?

    Do overweight or unfit people use it as an excuse?

    How does it click into gear is what I'm saying because I bet there are a lot of people who self diagnose themselves incorrectly

    WTF??? :confused:

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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,651 ✭✭✭ Catari Jaguar

    I have had periods of, I don't know if it was depression, but definite overwhelming feelings of panic and dread and shattered confidence, low self worth. I never got professional help for it. Didn't tell my family. Ashamed to. Thought my Dad would give out to me. Didn't take any time off work/ college. I confided in my boyfriend and wrote my feelings down. Struggled through it.

    I guess most of the country's taboos like abortion, special needs/ disability, homosexuality etc are becoming accceptable but depresion is still one of those uncomfortable or brushed aside topics. Not so much in the "X's in boarding school" when he's in St. John of God's mentality of the 60s, but still not talked about or taught about in schools. Personally, if I see someone's self harm scars or they talk about being on meds I wouldn't have a clue how to react appropriately. At least it's starting to be highlighted which is great and I hope it continues.

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,288 ✭✭✭✭ mfceiling

    Never mind the stigma or taboo that goes with depression.........if you think you have it - GET HELP.

    I can not stress that point enough.

    My cousin took his life 3 years ago leaving behind a wife and 2 small kids.
    Mother barely leaves the house nowadays and his father is running a business into the ground as he takes his frustrations out on his customers.

    Reason for suicide - depression.
    Did he confide in anyone or seek help - NO

    The happiest lad you could have met but got to a dark place and didn't come back.

    Was very well off and never wanted for anything but depression took him out

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,116 starviewadams

    I have/had terrible anxiety that basically makes me want to retreat from the world,which I did for 12-18 months.Problem with that is that I became really isolated and lost all touch with the little friends that I had which brought on awful depression and I basically started to question why I should even bother living anymore,once I started to have serious thoughts of suicide and started unknowingly almost trance-like making small little plans to do it I knew that I had to get help.

    Family also have a terrible history of depression so it was kind of hard to raise the issue with them because the standard response for any of my aunts/uncles/cousins when they developed depression was to drug them up like zombies and forget about them and I didnt want that so I decided to just try and get help by myself instead.

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,388 ✭✭✭✭ dsmythy

    Looking at the poll results some people need to distinguish between suffering from depression and having a ****ty month.

  • Registered Users Posts: 519 flyaway.

    I suffered from bad depression for about two years, and suffered alone for most of that. Self harm... thoughts of suicide... it was pretty bad. When I finally reached out for help, I could have kicked myself for not doing it sooner. My family were so supportive- for some reason, before I told them, I had convinced myself they would see me as a burden and may even be angry.

    Within a week of asking for professional help, I was in with a therapist, and a week after that, I was seeing a psychiatrist as well.

    It's been 6 months since I left therapy and I couldn't be happier. I have a few bad days here and there, but doesn't everyone? I'm recovered and happy. It was worth the battle. :)

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,336 ✭✭✭ Nodferatu

    i had depression a few times in my life, first time was back in 1999 - 2003 (worst years of my life, i have some very VERY dark memories here)i was diagnosed with bipolar depression, the worst kind of depression.
    if had it twice more since, both weren't as bad as the first time, im doing well for the last year or so now. its the worst kind of hell you can go through and i wish NOBODY to go through depression. i stuck my fathers rifle at one stage to my forehead just out of my own sadistic entertainment at one point.

    i wish and hope for anyone who has depression right now they get better and see someone soon.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 The Big Red Button

    dsmythy wrote: »
    Looking at the poll results some people need to distinguish between suffering from depression and having a ****ty month.

    Well, not necessarily! Chances are that a lot of people who haven't ever suffered from depression won't bother reading this thread or voting in the poll, as it mightn't be something that they have a personal interest in. So if the poll is saying that 80% of voters have suffered from depression at some point, it's not going to be an accurate representation of the population in general!

    Personally I'm lucky enough never to have been depressed, although I have a couple of friends who have suffered with it in the past. They both got the help and medication they needed, though, and are doing much better now. Both have since gotten involved in fundraising and other work for mental health awareness organisations, which they feel helps them a lot - being able to give something back, etc.

  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 11,139 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Mr. Manager

    So far on the poll, over 80% have suffered or are suffering from depression - That to me is a frightening statistic!

    What exactly is it that has 80% of the votes so far suffering?

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,171 af_thefragile



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  • Registered Users Posts: 606 ✭✭✭ t0mm13b

    Such a great thread and am for one, glad to see this thread....

    Depression is no joke, have suffered with it for 9 solid years and can pinpoint looking back on it the breaking point that kickstarted it....

    Writing this post makes me sad to realize the great stigma attached, of course I was under thirty at the time this occurred... I had it all, a good job, a girlfriend, my own independence... until....the IT sector took a battering, had no job, relationship broke up, family problems...

    These are the things that is a "normal" thing to happen right.... wrong... you see, being a super-sensitive type of a guy, that finished me... I went down hard and fast, crumbling... the facade of living worn away... and couldn't cope with it at all... it was a feeling of seeing the blackness all around me... no joy, no happiness, just a hollow shell of emptiness, not motivated to do anything about it, "ahh shure let's see where this river runs...." drifting along... to a point it can grip you and paralyze you in such a way that you cannot think, eat, feel, take care of yourself, anxiety attacks everyday to a point that I literally be sh!tting everyday (literally in the jacks... no joke.....) don't want to interact with others, burn bridges with people that you know of, being secretive and hiding behind a mask in not to let others know about it, and inside, a hollow screaming that bores silenced screams - "HELP ME", and just want to crawl away and die... I did go through a period of thinking of suicide and self-harming... had my own head fcuked around by so-called people that I "thought" were friends but not really... it has been fcukin hell, pure hell...the mind just did not want to function at all...

    The real turning point for me personally to make that step to fix up with whatever was broken inside me... family matters complicated even more, some were supportive, others werent - their line of thought was "COP THE FCUK YOURSELF ON AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF", y'know, that does not help one bit... I wasn't looking for sympathy... I was looking for understanding... them buggers should have been a helluva lot more supportive than that... anyway....

    to try fix myself, that took absolute guts, and I mean literally, it was hard, like the blackness was stopping me from having to deal with it, was going to the GP... almost like as if trying to face the GP with a brick wall that was pushing against me from going...that was fcukin nightmare.... was left feeling like having to crawl along to get help...despite the sheer tremendous pressure of this "thing" in front of me that was overpowering ... eventually when I told the GP that I wasn't feeling good... it hit me like a ton of bricks...

    Now, a year on, am still taking Effexor, so far, am under control, things are taking a turn for the better, but the stigma still remains on this subject... "ahhh look at that poor guy/gal... has depression... " while being subtle and screaming "he/she is mentally ill", will steer clear of them... that's the thing about it.... the stigma is unreal...

    AFAIK the mental health act is pretty old and outdated and early 20th century... we're in the 21st century now, ffs....

This discussion has been closed.