Online Dating

MeWantBroadband

Faith wrote: »

We met, and although he was the same age as me, in real life he looked like a 12 year old boy. He was shorter and way skinnier than me, with a face that hadn't hit puberty yet. His picture was in no way representative of what he looked like in reality.

Was it a flattering picture of himself, or one of somebody else entirely, that he used in his profile?

KyussBishop

Faith wrote: »

I never attempted to make him look bad and I resent that accusation. We emailed for weeks, I made it very clear that I was interested, and was keen to meet in person. He wasted my time by twice putting the offer of a date on the table, and then taking it away when I responded positively. That meant one of two things: A) he was a massive time waster, or he had very serious self-esteem issues. I paraphrased my reply to him in the above post; it wasn't actually that blunt but I couldn't be arsed typing it out last night. I told him that I was quite keen to meet him, that he seemed really nice, and I'd made it more than clear that I was interested in a date, but that his refusing to actually ask me out, even when it was 100% clear I'd say yes, had really put me off. If he was a time waster, then I saved myself some effort. If he had serious self esteem issues, then that's something he needs to sort out himself. He admitted in his reply that he had known I'd say yes to a date and yet he still didn't ask me out. The only frustration I had was from being messed around.



Then I guess it's a good thing that we're not chatting to each other on a dating site. I will not apologise for wanting a confident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it. Experience has taught me that someone who takes weeks to ask me out is usually taking that long for a reason. Self confidence is generally a good sign of maturity, and that's important to me.

Why didn't you ask him out, instead of waiting for him to ask you out?

I don't get that, why hold someone to different standards than you hold for yourself?

Snowie

Faith wrote: »

I never attempted to make him look bad and I resent that accusation. We emailed for weeks, I made it very clear that I was interested, and was keen to meet in person. He wasted my time by twice putting the offer of a date on the table, and then taking it away when I responded positively. That meant one of two things: A) he was a massive time waster, or he had very serious self-esteem issues. I paraphrased my reply to him in the above post; it wasn't actually that blunt but I couldn't be arsed typing it out last night. I told him that I was quite keen to meet him, that he seemed really nice, and I'd made it more than clear that I was interested in a date, but that his refusing to actually ask me out, even when it was 100% clear I'd say yes, had really put me off. If he was a time waster, then I saved myself some effort. If he had serious self esteem issues, then that's something he needs to sort out himself. He admitted in his reply that he had known I'd say yes to a date and yet he still didn't ask me out. The only frustration I had was from being messed around.

You resent something that in this case and in my eyes is true.
To recap, You've drawn conclusions of some one you've never meet and made judgments which is completely inappropriate.

You can't say some ones not confident because he hasn't asked you out, he may well of not liked the forwardness of your nature he may well have decided that you wern't what he was looking for...

How In gods name can you be messed around on a dating site ?90% of the people on it are circus clowns you gotta expect that. The fact that your moaning about it says more then anything else that you are indeed far too serous about it... Online dating is nothing more then a laugh and a bit of banter drawing strong winded conclusions, with no real credible information is not, except able.

Then I guess it's a good thing that we're not chatting to each other on a dating site. I will not apologise for wanting a confident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it. Experience has taught me that someone who takes weeks to ask me out is usually taking that long for a reason. Self confidence is generally a good sign of maturity, and that's important to me.

To me, it all seems hurried, now now now quick hurry up get the date go for drinks. Self confidence is to do with maturity but its also something that doesnt need to be there 24 hours a day things like play fullness keep you looking young things like immaturity are as important maturity, it brings fun
stops things from being manogamous...

pablomakaveli

I've tried these sites for a few weeks and i honestly don't see how nyone can have success with them.

I've messaged a few girls usally saying something along the lines of "Hello, you seem like a nice person,maybe we can chat on here sometime etc" and they don't even bother to reply. I think one even blocked me. I don't write anything pervy in the meassages or on my profile.

I've kind of been put off the whole thing tbh.

Maguined

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

You resent something that in this case and in my eyes is true.
To recap, You've drawn conclusions of some one you've never meet and made judgments which is completely inappropriate.

You can't say some ones not confident because he hasn't asked you out, he may well of not liked the forwardness of your nature he may well have decided that you wern't what he was looking for...

How In gods name can you be messed around on a dating site ?90% of the people on it are circus clowns you gotta expect that. The fact that your moaning about it says more then anything else that you are indeed far too serous about it... Online dating is nothing more then a laugh and a bit of banter drawing strong winded conclusions, with no real credible information is not, except able.


To me, it all seems hurried, now now now quick hurry up get the date go for drinks. Self confidence is to do with maturity but its also something that doesnt need to be there 24 hours a day things like play fullness keep you looking young things like immaturity are as important maturity, it brings fun
stops things from being manogamous...

I think you are being pretty unfair on Faith, she does not owe any of these people anything so she is completely well within her right to be turned off by what she views as lack of confidence in someone's emails, especially the "if i asked you out would you say yes?" that to me comes across as not confident in the slightest.

You always have to make judgements based on the limited information you have when you barely know someone, maybe the guy was put off by her forwardness but that basically means they are not compatible together so why waste any more time when the entire point is that there are plenty of other users of the sites out there to try and get along with.

nxbyveromdwjpg

I agree with her. The bloke sounds like a clown.

Faith wrote: »

"Pity you're out of my league or I'd have asked you out". I replied and told him not to be stupid, there's no such things as leagues. He replied with "Haha, maybe. So how was your weekend?" :mad:. I wrote back and said "Are you going to ask me out? " and I got back "If I asked you out, would you say yes?"

What kind of person doesnt get that?? And on a DATING website?

Leelaa22

I've never done a dating website Im only 22 and been single for about a month now, but give me 6 months and I could have a differnt reply on this thread ha
I dont see the harm in them as long as people dont take it too seriously or act over eager.
And that doesnt mean I think people should should play it cool and make out its not a big deal if you end up going out, thats not nice. Just the overly eager and too serious can be quite off putting, but that goes the same for face to face meetings not just the internet.

Leelaa22

Did it last, or was it just for fun?

Leelaa22

thats nice, I hope it works out for you guys

Darlughda

pablomakaveli wrote: »

I've tried these sites for a few weeks and i honestly don't see how nyone can have success with them.

I've messaged a few girls usally saying something along the lines of "Hello, you seem like a nice person,maybe we can chat on here sometime etc" and they don't even bother to reply. I think one even blocked me. I don't write anything pervy in the meassages or on my profile.

I've kind of been put off the whole thing tbh.

Jayzus, Faith got a hard time here on this thread so no doubt I'll be next, but pablo what on earth are you thinking sending a bland message like that?

• Read each profile individually.
• Respond to something she has said her in profile.
• Maybe offer your opinion or something in your profile that is similar.
• Suggest politely, if they are interested email you back.

Not sure if you meant IM or email from your post, but there is nothing more offputting than some fella who wants to get into IM immediately.

At worst, it suggests a guy who wants to get down and dirty into sex chat, and at best, he is so lacking in communication skills, that he is unwilling to engage in a couple of back and forth emails.

Your message sounds like a generic message sent desperately to all females who are on line on that site at the time, so no wonder you are not having much success.

pablomakaveli

Darlughda wrote: »

Jayzus, Faith got a hard time here on this thread so no doubt I'll be next, but pablo what on earth are you thinking sending a bland message like that?

• Read each profile individually.
• Respond to something she has said her in profile.
• Maybe offer your opinion or something in your profile that is similar.
• Suggest politely, if they are interested email you back.

Not sure if you meant IM or email from your post, but there is nothing more offputting than some fella who wants to get into IM immediately.

At worst, it suggests a guy who wants to get down and dirty into sex chat, and at best, he is so lacking in communication skills, that he is unwilling to engage in a couple of back and forth emails.

Your message sounds like a generic message sent desperately to all females who are on line on that site at the time, so no wonder you are not having much success.

Well i've improved my messages since more or less along the lines you described above and one girl has messaged me since and we've got to chatting . But i wasn't trying to come across or a perve or anything. Just trying to be friendly without coming on too strong. Still i appreciate the advice.

Galvasean

pablomakaveli wrote: »

But i wasn't trying to come across or a perve or anything. Just trying to be friendly without coming on too strong. Still i appreciate the advice.

That's the problem. To you or me it seems like a polite "hello how are you?" kind of thing, but bear in mind that women by and large would get a lot more mail on these things, not to mention that there would be a fair share of creepy oddballs floating around.
I suppose the trick to being successful (if that is the right word) is to mention something in their profile (hobby, interest etc.) that you can relate to/talk about. That's why I'm bemused by the amount of unfilled profiles I see, what's the point?

hmm, must start checking these things out again some time soon. Been single too long :P

Otis Driftwood

Kohl,Ive deleted your post.tGC and any other forum on boards for that matter are not pick up forums,do not post requests like that here again.Thanks and regards,Ned.

magneticimpulse

theres a similar thread in the ladies lounge in which ive gone into more detail on this topic.

Overall after meeting someone who wanted to watch me take a pooh on the 2nd date...i had to turn down the lovely thoughts of that 2nd date. I dont know how it came about because our 1st date for a meal!! So sadly i have given up internet dating and wont be wasting anymore money or time on it.

Otis Driftwood

magneticimpulse wrote: »

theres a similar thread in the ladies lounge in which ive gone into more detail on this topic.

Overall after meeting someone who wanted to watch me take a pooh on the 2nd date...i had to turn down the lovely thoughts of that 2nd date. I dont know how it came about because our 1st date for a meal!! So sadly i have given up internet dating and wont be wasting anymore money or time on it.

:eek:

Holy moly.

Thats surely a fifth date request.

I mean,ewwwwwwww.

:pac:

Leelaa22

magneticimpulse wrote: »

theres a similar thread in the ladies lounge in which ive gone into more detail on this topic.

Overall after meeting someone who wanted to watch me take a pooh on the 2nd date...i had to turn down the lovely thoughts of that 2nd date. I dont know how it came about because our 1st date for a meal!! So sadly i have given up internet dating and wont be wasting anymore money or time on it.

Holy cow thats crazy, was that they only person youve met online?

martin451

my mate met several ladies online and then married one this year . great girl

Leelaa22

martin451 wrote: »

my mate met several ladies online and then married one this year . great girl

awh thats nice:)

magneticimpulse

Leelaa22 wrote: »

Holy cow thats crazy, was that they only person youve met online?

No its not, honestly, when I was in Dublin I met loads of really really nice guys (maybe 8 in total). But I live in France and think its unfair to the guys to meet them in Dublin...I did think I was moving back to Dublin but with no jobs had to stay in France.

So I met 2 guys in France (loads of crusty men kept contacting me...sorry but i prefer Irish guys)

One brought his friend with him on the 1st date which was a free concert in the city. I didnt mind so much. However any other date after that about 3 or 4 dates, the friend was always with us!!! So I never got on with him romantically and it was just turning into friends. He also always wore a baseball cap which even in France is quite chav!! He wasnt chav, but it would have been nice to see what he looked like without a hat.

He went to Ireland on holidays and I happened to be home at the same time in Dublin. I said I could meet him and show him around and told him not to go to Cork or Limerick cities (all the french seem to do that and be "disappointed by ireland") that Kerry and Galway were nicer places to see the countryside rather then cities. So he never contacted me and I bumped into him in France after holiday. He told me he went to Cork and Limerick cities and did not find them beautiful!! He didnt bother going to Kerry or Galway, so thats where i gave up.

The 2nd guy was English (pooh guy), which I was really happy as I thought we might have same humour. He was very posh not that it mattered. But he had so many step-brothers and sisters. He said his dad was married 5 times and has kids in all the marriages. He's dad is 75 and still chasing young women!! I thought fair play, but it must have an effect on this guy.


Anyway meal on 1st date was grand.He went from bringing up questions like if i wanted marriage or kids (i was like hang on a minute...we have only had 1 date). To going to online sex and then went into a discussion about how he would really like me to pooh and on our 2nd date I would have to let him watch me take a pooh on the toilet!!!

After that I gave up on internet dating after that.

I also had dates in England but I wouldnt even be able to remember them, nothing stuck to mind. One guy told me he was seeing 3 women that week so it totally put a downer on our actual date, i was the 2nd and in the end he chose the 3rd woman (after meeting him about 4 or 5 times he finally told me)

Otis Driftwood

Still,at least he told you before things really progressed.

The English guy,not the poo guy.

Leelaa22

magneticimpulse wrote: »

No its not, honestly, when I was in Dublin I met loads of really really nice guys (maybe 8 in total). But I live in France and think its unfair to the guys to meet them in Dublin...I did think I was moving back to Dublin but with no jobs had to stay in France.

So I met 2 guys in France (loads of crusty men kept contacting me...sorry but i prefer Irish guys)

One brought his friend with him on the 1st date which was a free concert in the city. I didnt mind so much. However any other date after that about 3 or 4 dates, the friend was always with us!!! So I never got on with him romantically and it was just turning into friends. He also always wore a baseball cap which even in France is quite chav!! He wasnt chav, but it would have been nice to see what he looked like without a hat.

I had a bf like that most dates we went on his best friend was there, we were a little romantic but was awkward with the friend watching, needless to say it didnt last long lol

magneticimpulse wrote:

He went to Ireland on holidays and I happened to be home at the same time in Dublin. I said I could meet him and show him around and told him not to go to Cork or Limerick cities (all the french seem to do that and be "disappointed by ireland") that Kerry and Galway were nicer places to see the countryside rather then cities. So he never contacted me and I bumped into him in France after holiday. He told me he went to Cork and Limerick cities and did not find them beautiful!! He didnt bother going to Kerry or Galway, so thats where i gave up.

Men! they never listen!

magneticimpulse wrote: »

The 2nd guy was English (pooh guy), which I was really happy as I thought we might have same humour. He was very posh not that it mattered. But he had so many step-brothers and sisters. He said his dad was married 5 times and has kids in all the marriages. He's dad is 75 and still chasing young women!! I thought fair play, but it must have an effect on this guy.


Anyway meal on 1st date was grand.He went from bringing up questions like if i wanted marriage or kids (i was like hang on a minute...we have only had 1 date). To going to online sex and then went into a discussion about how he would really like me to pooh and on our 2nd date I would have to let him watch me take a pooh on the toilet!!!

After that I gave up on internet dating after that.

I also had dates in England but I wouldnt even be able to remember them, nothing stuck to mind. One guy told me he was seeing 3 women that week so it totally put a downer on our actual date, i was the 2nd and in the end he chose the 3rd woman (after meeting him about 4 or 5 times he finally told me)

wow he asked you while you were having a meal to do that!!! besides anything thats just a bad time to be talking about pooing!!
I wonder is it something all guys are into, just most guys Ive known have liked the idea of watching girls pee (not poo, not that they have admitted anyway) or vommiting during oral. Maybe its a guy thing?

But you sound like you had a lucky escape with both these guys and as for the douche who told you he was seeing 3 others girls while he was out with you, tell me was he really looking I find the more attractive the guy, the more he knows it and feels it is almost his duty to be a player

magneticimpulse

nedtheshed wrote: »

Still,at least he told you before things really progressed.

The English guy,not the poo guy.

Oh no they were both English.

The 1st guy was when I lived in England. He came to visit me, date was good. Then 2nd date he said he would cook me dinner (thats when he told me he was seeing 2 other women that week...so i wouldnt share a bed with him and slept in the spare room of his). 3rd date (after meeting 2 other 2 women) we went out for a date somewhere and then I think there was 4th and 5th date. It was then he told me he was still seeing the 3rd woman at the same time...and some weeks had past,I think about 5 weeks!!! I wasnt too fussed

2nd guy is English guy in France (the pooh guy). No he didnt ask during dinner. He wanted to arrange a 2nd date mid week as he is a school teacher and was on mid term recently. However I had studying to do and was busy on Tuesday. He said he was busy with school (i think its a boarding school) over the next few weeks and cant meet me until December or new year. So I said, sure I can come and visit you. He then said he has an open plan appartment and the bathroom is in the middle of the room...including toilet. So he said would I mind. And I said no. Then he went on and on and on about would I really not mind if he watched me pooh and asked if I did it in front of family and friends and who was the last person I poohed in front off (i mean only my ex...but it was never intention, we were joined to the hip). So then he was like, oh wow I never could imagine you could be so cool and open minded....ive just not texted or contacted him since then. Im not into giving pooh performance. Sure i dont care and seen lots of my friends male and female naked as ive alot of german friends and gone to saunas with them. But its more the way he went on about it that bothered me.

The Irish guys I have met have been ok. But at 35 years old none of them knew how to drive a car and still lived at home, and alot of them are still on the website 1 or 2 years later which Im thinking why?? They didnt come across as the ONS type and seemed really nice. The driving bit or living at home is not so bad as I stay with parents when I go back to Dublin...

The only negative Irish guy I met was one who had met a girl from the dating website and said he couldnt go out with me. Which was fine...but then every few weeks id get an email from him (like i was back up)...so i never replied back to him.

28064212

Leelaa22 wrote: »

I wonder is it something all guys are into, just most guys Ive known have liked the idea of watching girls pee (not poo, not that they have admitted anyway) or vommiting during oral. Maybe its a guy thing?

WTF? There are few things less attractive than vomit. Apart from some very niche porn, a vomit fetish is extremely rare.

Unless you just mean gagging, which is different. And for most guys, it wouldn't be anything to do with the actual gagging, it's the fact that deep-throat oral can feel really great. It's more a side-effect than the primary focus

Leelaa22

28064212 wrote: »

WTF? There are few things less attractive than vomit. Apart from some very niche porn, a vomit fetish is extremely rare.

Unless you just mean gagging, which is different. And for most guys, it wouldn't be anything to do with the actual gagging, it's the fact that deep-throat oral can feel really great. It's more a side-effect than the primary focus

no vommiting, I know gagging is quite common. I thought it was more the idea the guy thinks his thingy is so big she is choking, but yeah id hope deep throught feels good. Its a skill!

Anyway back to online dating, does anyone think there is a stigma attached to it? I dont know what my family would say I told them I met a guy online!

Otis Driftwood

Leelaa22 wrote: »

Anyway back to online dating, does anyone think there is a stigma attached to it? I dont know what my family would say I told them I met a guy online!

There still is but IMO thats because the internet is still a relatively new thing in Ireland.

I ended up seeing a girl for a year or so that I had met on an online site and we told all and sundry that we had met randomly in a bar.

It just saves any awkward questions.

coffee_cake

Leelaa22 wrote: »

Anyway back to online dating, does anyone think there is a stigma attached to it? I dont know what my family would say I told them I met a guy online!

I met my OH on WoW and I don't care who knows it
My uncle met his wife on a dating thing too

Otis Driftwood

bluewolf wrote: »

I met my OH on WoW and I don't care who knows it

Cool.Thats not really a dating site though (unless Ive been misinformed) so technically it doesnt count.:P

Leelaa22

nedtheshed wrote: »

There still is but IMO thats because the internet is still a relatively new thing in Ireland.

I ended up seeing a girl for a year or so that I had met on an online site and we told all and sundry that we had met randomly in a bar.

It just saves any awkward questions.

yeah i guess it is fairly new, but its everywhere and everyone I know is online even my granny, she's my friend on facebook.
we do alot of other things online, so why is it weird to think that two people who meet on the internet would hit it off, meet up and go out?
See you had to tell a lie just to avoid awkward questions, to me in this day and age that seems wrong. I have friends who met people online but have never openly admitted it I just found out cause I know everything lol. but they cant even confide in their friends.
It's a shame.

And bluewolf I think its great you have had such a good experience online and that you have no hesitations in sayin you met her online. Did anyone ask you awkward questions when you were going out.

coffee_cake

Leelaa22 wrote: »

And bluewolf I think its great you have had such a good experience online and that you have no hesitations in sayin you met her online. Did anyone ask you awkward questions when you were going out.

I'm a her, invading tgc
No, we still are, and no awkward questions. I think everyone knows I'm a total nerd anyway so they're like "oh right ok"
It's a LDR so that tends to be more of the talking point

magneticimpulse

nedtheshed wrote: »

Cool.Thats not really a dating site though (unless Ive been misinformed) so technically it doesnt count.:P

Whats WoW??