Masturbation?

orourkeda

mojesius wrote: »

'Proud Mary' will never sound the same again

Nor will steamy windows.

orourkeda

Dilynnio wrote: »

Once I came home from work and I found my house mate unconscious......he finally came around and said he hadn't been feeling well.

A week later he admitted he had been home all day and was so bored he wanted to see how many times he could **** in one day......he reached 11 and passed out.....so he says!

True story!

Anyone else ever passed out from it?!

11 Pedals in one day. I'd have thought that was a physical impossibility

Banned Account

orourkeda wrote: »

11 Pedals in one day. I'd have thought that was a physical impossibility

Nope, but i'm not fully normal.

Silly Sausage

I never got it myself. Its a bit gay wanting to play with a cock if you are into women.

Banned Account

Silly Sausage wrote: »

I never got it myself. Its a bit gay wanting to play with a cock if you are into women.

Apt username sir.

mark182

it made me blind

Banned Account

mark182 wrote: »

it made me blind

Who said that?

NoHornJan

mark182 wrote: »

it made me blind

Yeh! it'll make you blind and if you keep at it you're willy will fall off and you won't be able to find it.

Mr Benevolent

Silly Sausage wrote: »

I never got it myself. Its a bit gay wanting to play with a cock if you are into women.

Weirdest. Statement. Ever. You think masturbation turns you gay? Messed up. Literally.

Mrmoe

It is a great stress releiver and a good way of getting to sleep. After a couple of days without fapping/sex the pressure is usually too much.:D

pablomakaveli

Dilynnio wrote: »

Once I came home from work and I found my house mate unconscious......he finally came around and said he hadn't been feeling well.

A week later he admitted he had been home all day and was so bored he wanted to see how many times he could **** in one day......he reached 11 and passed out.....so he says!

True story!

Anyone else ever passed out from it?!

I do that as well. I've never passed out though. After doing it seven or eight times i usually just fall asleep. It's hard work in fairness.

Sanjuro

up for anything wrote: »

I can't figure out the position he must have assumed so as to aim into the glove box! Was he a midget?

He's no midget. But I didn't ask him the mechanics of how he came into a cassette box. Strange as it sounds, I'm not really into finding out the techniques my mates use when they masturbate into their fathers' possessions.

catthinkin

Sanjuro wrote: »

He's no midget. But I didn't ask him the mechanics of how he came into a cassette box. Strange as it sounds, I'm not really into finding out the techniques my mates use when they masturbate into their fathers' possessions.

tell him someone on the internet wants to know how that will really freak him out

Kasabian

I love a good fap. It's chatting myself up "beforehand" that is the hard work. The cuddle afterwards is fcuking awkward , I wish I would just get up and leave.

Dudess

I'd agree there couldn't be any man in the world EVER who doesn't slap the salami (unless by choice)... did I say "man"? Cus I meant adolescent boy.

But in the case of women: I've read testimonies from women (and know one) who actually didn't discover their happy place and how to get themselves off via it (note - for the young fellas, i.e. Brummytom :pac:: their clitoris as opposed to vagina) til late - as in, their late 20s/30s! :eek:

All sexually active a long time so it's absolutely baffling they didn't discover it via sexual activity (e.g. oral) with a partner...

And puts paid to the "Why touch yourself when a guy can do it for you?" protestation...

blueser

Dilynnio wrote: »

Once I came home from work and I found my house mate unconscious......he finally came around and said he hadn't been feeling well.

A week later he admitted he had been home all day and was so bored he wanted to see how many times he could **** in one day......he reached 11 and passed out.....so he says!

True story!

Anyone else ever passed out from it?!

Ah! The old ''my mate'' line. We understand... nudge nudge, wink wink!!

Sanjuro

catthinkin wrote: »

tell him someone on the internet wants to know how that will really freak him out

I dunno. The guy wanked into a box in public, and repetedly wiped his cock on his parents' living room curtains. I don't think there are many things that will freak him out, to be honest!

mink_man

Dilynnio wrote: »

Once I came home from work and I found my house mate unconscious......he finally came around and said he hadn't been feeling well.

A week later he admitted he had been home all day and was so bored he wanted to see how many times he could **** in one day......he reached 11 and passed out.....so he says!

True story!

Anyone else ever passed out from it?!

well bo selecta said the **** wall was 7, that would be hard enough reach! (or not hehehehehe) this is when you pass our apparently?

Zadkiel

My missus caught me at it the other day.
Which really surprised me, she never usually gets that bus

Kasabian

Dudess wrote: »

I'd agree there couldn't be any man in the world EVER who doesn't slap the salami (unless by choice)... did I say "man"? Cus I meant adolescent boy.

But in the case of women: I've read testimonies from women (and know one) who actually didn't discover their happy place and how to get themselves off via it (note - for the young fellas, i.e. Brummytom :pac:: their clitoris as opposed to vagina) til late - as in, their late 20s/30s! :eek:

All sexually active a long time so it's absolutely baffling they didn't discover it via sexual activity (e.g. oral) with a partner...

I had to Google clitoris :eek: :pac::pac:

Des Carter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShTm8MnUAjo

hacx

I know this one guy and there'sthis story about him:
When he was young, and just after discovering ****, he didn't know that it was somthing to be done in private. So one day after he gets up (tee-hee), his parents are still asleep so he goes to make some breakfast for himself. While he's eating his cereal, he decides to start ****. He's about to cum, and his mother walks in. All hell was raised.

Banned Account

I heard a story about a guy from back home who was hungover to hell and back and decided to help himself out - he pulled the duvet up over his head to block out the light and delivered himself fully into the hand of wild abandon. Whe he had finished he pulled down the duvet to find his ma had come in and left him breakfast on his nightstand:eek:

Probably urban myth but funny as fcuk all the same.

Dudess

I remember my friend telling her mum (who's really old-school and innocent and easily shockable) she caught a neighbour of theirs (a teenage boy) **** - my friend wasn't bothered by it or anything, she just enjoyed taking the piss out of her mother. Shortly afterwards, they were in the local shop and her mum caught sight of him, tapped on her daughter's shoulder and whispered "Look! There's the wanker!"

Hank_Jones

Thread on masturbation has almost 100 replies after four hours.

You dirty so and sos etc etc.

You should be ashamed.

blueser

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

I heard a story about a guy from back home who was hungover to hell and back and decided to help himself out - he pulled the duvet up over his head to block out the light and delivered himself fully into the hand of wild abandon. Whe he had finished he pulled down the duvet to find his ma had come in and left him breakfast on his nightstand:eek:

Probably urban myth but funny as fcuk all the same.

That one's been doing the rounds since Noah was giving sea trials to the ark! The original version has our hero listening to music on his headphones with his eyes shut while he was pulling the pud. When he had 'finished', he saw a cup of coffee on his bedside table. And his mother was the only other person in the house!!

Banned Account

blueser wrote: »

That one's been doing the rounds since Noah was giving sea trials to the ark! The original version has our hero listening to music on his headphones with his eyes shut while he was pulling the pud. When he had 'finished', he saw a cup of coffee on his bedside table. And his mother was the only other person in the house!!

Jebus, you think he would have learned his lesson by now!

arybvtcw0eolkf

'Heavy weight Belly Button Boxing Champion of the World' here!.

x2 per day.

entrep

personally i don't understnad how anyone could see it as anything but natural i'm female btw.

questionmark?

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Stop trying to corrupt the virtuous women of AH, defiler!!

NEVER I am spartucus

caseyann wrote: »

There is no need for it when you have someone to do it for you whats make me

a BIG ****ing liar!

Silly Sausage wrote: »

I never got it myself. Its a bit gay wanting to play with a cock if you are into women.

If ur telling AH that you have never pulled yourself off once in your life then you sir must have no sexual organs!

Kasabian wrote: »

I love a good fap. It's chatting myself up "beforehand" that is the hard work. The cuddle afterwards is fcuking awkward , I wish I would just get up and leave.

You need help try this guy http://bajan.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/gun.jpg

Hank_Jones wrote: »

Thread on masturbation has almost 100 replies after four hours.

You dirty so and sos etc etc.

You should be ashamed.

There would be more but i'm afraid there too busy having one.